Children are the living messages we send to a time we will not see.
~Neil Postman~ (The Disappearance of Childhood (introduction), 1982)
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| Mitchell and Emily, his grad date and guitar partner |
In a blink of an eye our children grow up.
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| In a blink, the bike is still |
Yesterday was my son Mitchell’s last full day at home. This morning he left for Vancouver Island where he will start his post secondary education at the University of Victoria. As I watched him drive off, all I could think of was how fast his childhood flew by.
When he was 6 years old he used to sit in the back seat of our van and ask me what it felt like to drive. I always told him to enjoy his childhood because before he knows it, he would be all grown up. And now he is.
Last night he had a few of his oldest and dearest friends over for an evening around our backyard fire pit, roasting marshmallows and eating S’mores. I was in the living room reading my latest homesteading book called, “Chicken in the Road” by Suzanne McMinn. Every now and then I could hear a chorus of young men laughing as wood smoke would drift in through the open door. I was trying not to think about this being his last night at home.
I buried myself in my book about a middle aged woman (like me) leaving city life and moving to the country to become a farmer. She even had three kids in tow, which made it seem suddenly more doable for me. I loved reading about her chickens, goats, sheep and her cows. As Mitchell was starting his new life, I was thinking how much I wanted to have a new lifestyle as well. I wanted a lot of land and a place to raise his younger siblings. A few chickens would be great too.
I was reading the last few chapters when I heard Mitchell walking to the front yard with his friends. I could hear them laugh and express parting heart felt words, as they said their final good byes. Mitchell came into the house, joined me in the living room and I said, “what’s up?” He just shook his head and told me somberly, he didn’t think it would be so hard saying goodbye to his friends. They had shared so many wonderful memories. One friend had been with him since preschool and it seemed unreal that they were about to head off in different directions.
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| Issac on the left has been Mitchell’s longest friend |
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| Mitchell with his best friend at their last soccer game…..kind of bittersweet |
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| Mitchell in the middle with some of his friends on Graduation day…looking serious is a hipster thing |
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We talked for an hour and finally Mitchell decided to say goodnight even though it was actually 2 am in the morning. I stayed up for another 1/2 hour to finish my book (which was great btw) and when I did put my head to the pillow, I was thinking about children and chickens.
We all slept later than we planned in this morning, so when I got up, I hurriedly bathed.while D took the little kids to the kitchen to make them a quick breakfast. He was going to drive Mitchell to University so I knew he wanted to get the little ones fed so he could pack the car. We were all busy getting ready when I heard an outbreak of crying from the kitchen. Wailing from little ones, something about bowls and cereal and frustrated Dad words could be heard.
Then I heard soft footsteps on the stairs and a moment later, Victoria walked in the bathroom saying, “Mom,|” (lately she had stopped calling me mama…since she was a big girl now at age 3)…”Mom, Dad gave me Terrios instead of Harvest Trunch and it’s in the wrong bowl too!” She looked at me with a huge pout on her lips and a furrowed brow. Although I wanted to laugh and pull her to me, I just said, “Tori, be thankful for what you have, or what you have will be taken from you.”
I watched her think about that for a few seconds and then she gave me a little nod and turned and headed back to the kitchen. As I finished getting ready, my words came back to haunt me. From our children, we learn our biggest lessons and I thought about what was going on in my life. I was having to say goodbye to a son who had been really difficult to parent this last year. There were times that I wanted him to leave the house because his energy was so intense and he was often difficult to live with, but here I was finally getting my wish. Be thankful for what you have, for in a blink of an eye, our children grow up and they leave.
Then I was also thinking about how much I wanted a farm and again I was thinking be thankful. We have land, and in some parts of the world my 1/3 of an acre is a farm.
Later in the morning, as I waved goodbye to Mitch with the rest of the family, I was so sad as I felt his physical presence leave our home. Life would be so boring. There would be no daily drama, interesting stories, constantly revolving social life, cello and guitar music, deep laughter, or even heated arguments about chores and sleeping in late.
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| Mitchell on the left playing his guitar at his grad banquet…I will miss him playing his cello and guitar |
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I felt a wave of grief flow through my heart as I watched the car go out of sight.
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| With the little Honda Fit, crammed full, Mitchell heads off to University |
This was yet another letting go experience. Breathe.in, out, in, out. It’s going to be okay.
Then I had what Oprah calls an “AHA” moment. Our children are like mirrors shining a reflection into our soul and what I was seeing was only an illusion. I wasn’t letting him go. How can we be apart when we are connected. There is an invisible cord that connects us all on this earth. We are one. We come from the same Source and we will return to the same Source. He is not going, he is right here, as am I.
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| Mitchell you are Always home |
I love what Dr. Wayne Dyer says about shifting perspectives,“Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change.”
I’m choosing to see my children always with me. Hey, Mom, “wink” I think I’m getting this stuff.
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| All of our children at the afternoon photo session on Grad day for Mitchell, June 2014 |
As we turned to go back into the house, I reached for Victoria’s hand and asked, if she wanted some toast and jam on her favourite plate?
Munch a piece of toast and listen to one of my fav songs, sung by Andrea Boucelli….”Time to say good bye”….although he is singing it in the language of LOVE…..enjoy!
Love ya, Mitchell!
Until we meet again, may you be well, happy and peaceful.
Blessings from Hope
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