BOO!
Okay, so you’re not scared. It’s only a picture of our twins, trying on the Halloween outfit they will wear to their preschool party on Friday. I couldn’t resist though as they were so darn cute. But going back to the word,”BOO!” Was I ever a bit scared four years ago this week, when I went in for my first ultrasound after finding out I was pregnant. I’ll never forget the ultrasound technologist telling us that she wasn’t a Doctor and therefore couldn’t tell us anything….but she said she could show us “something”, and then she moved her ultrasound wand across my lower belly and said, “here is one “thing”, and here is two.”
My husband who was casually chewing gum and holding Will throughout the exam didn’t stop chewing, instead he said,”look Will, there is your new baby brother or sister.” He hadn’t picked up on what the technologist was showing us AT ALL
I, on the other hand am an old hand at ultrasounds and was heightened to every word she uttered from the time she asked us to follow her into the exam room. You see, I had been spotting and was so scared the first words I would hear were, “I’m so sorry there is no heart beat.” So when I saw those two flickering heart beats I was elated, truly excited, but yes also extremely scared. We called them our Boo babies at the time.
When D and I left the building I stopped him before we got to the car and said, “you know what she was showing us don’t you?” And he just went, “Huh?” And it was then I uttered the words, “Twins!” He stopped chewing his gum and just went quiet. He was in that state for many weeks and although I was scared, I was just so happy to have babies with heart beats. When you have tried a long time to complete your family and you are finally pregnant, you just enjoy each day that comes and try not to be fearful about the future.
Thankfully, the pregnancy went well and the girls are thriving and healthy. Talking about my fear, reminds me of the fears of many women. The fear first that they may never find a partner in order to have a child, or the strength and courage to choose motherhood as a single person if they are partnerless. Then there is the fear of infertility, which can be devastating, debilitating and sadly, in many cases cause severe depression. As if infertility isn’t bad enough, often women then have to pull themselves out of the trenches of deep darkness to fight their battle for a child. And even when that dream finally comes true, they then have to deal with issues from post traumatic stress while trying to find some semblance of happiness being a new mom.
Then still others have the fear of not experiencing a healthy pregnancy, dealing with a painful labour, difficult delivery and finally having a living, breathing child.. And that is all before their baby arrives on earth. Don’t get me going about once the baby arrives as I will let your imagination take over from there, although I will leave you with this one story of when our first baby slept through the night for the first time. I asked D to check on her as I was so scared we had lost her in the night. You see, our OB-GYN who delivered her, had just lost his infant son from sudden death syndrome a few months earlier and I thought, if it could happen to him well we are not immune. Irrational I know, but this is the stuff of life. FEAR!
Well, I could go on and on with regards to fears, but what I wanted to say was thisHalloween time of year reminds me of the day, 4 years ago that we found out we were having TWO BOO babies……and it’s been a wonderful experience. Yes, my hands are full as many people often comment, but they are full of multiple blessings. The biggest thing that scares us is often fear itself.
This post though is REALLY about a book review I wanted to share since tonight is my Sacred Circle book club meeting and the book we are discussing is, “The Places that Scare You, a guide to fearlessness in difficult times,” by Pema Chodron. I don’t know if you’ve had the chance to read this book or not, (I invited you to be a sacred sister on one of my blogs in September) but in case you haven’t and in case you have your share of anxiety and fears, this book gives one many insights to contemplate and incorporate into ones life.
I have recently written about the terrorism that occurred in Canada on a prior post (Earthlings Get Grounded) and a thought that really rang home to me was on Page 7 of this book. The author wrote, “Hatred never ceases by hatred-but by love alone is healed. This is an ancient and eternal law.”
On page 42, Pema Chodron writes, “In cultivating loving kindness we train first to be honest, loving and compassionate towards ourselves.”
And on Page 52, she says, “As a result of compassionate practise, we will start to have a deeper understanding of the roots of suffering.”
It was quite timely to read this and so I thought, “I send love to all terrorists around the world.” I know many would not understand this way of thinking but if we truly believe we are all connected, I’m only hurting myself by thinking anything but love.
In Chapter three, “The Buddha taught that there are three principal characteristics of human existence. They are, “impermanence, egolessness, or dissatisfaction.”
Recognizing these qualities, to be real and true in our own experience helps us to relax with things as they are.
I loved this concept since the theme of my life is all about surrender It’s a life lesson that runs through each moment of my life as I attempt to not attach to anything, instead, just notice what I’m reacting to and then letting it go. I’m not brilliant one day and a screw up the next. I’m not what I do, or what people think if me. IF I don’t attach to anything, then nothing, NO THING, can influence me or make me feel good, or bad.
It’s a journey for sure but something I’m finding easier as I’m getting older. Good thing too since one of the biggest fears most humans have is dying. Accepting that our earthly body is always in a state of change, and will eventually stop functioning is either a freeing idea or scary to some. Understanding that we ARE, not the human body, that this is only our vehicle while on this earth and eventually it will stop working, makes it easier to let go of even dissatisfaction, like aging, or a part of our body that appears not perfect to us.
The other main idea that was presented in this book has to do with the sweet spot in life. Is it when things are going great and all our dreams are coming true? Nope! It’s when things are really tough and difficult. When we are able to remain in that place and stand our ground, that is when we become true warriors. It’s when we really soften and become more compassionate towards ourselves, and others. It’s when we glimpse the idea that we are all connected.
On page 122, Chodron writes, “The fact we spend a long time in the middle, the juicy spot is the fruitful place to be—resting here completely—steadfastly experiencing the clarity of the present moment is called, Enlightenment.”
I loved the quote at the beginning of Chapter 7 on Loving Kindness-
“Peace between Countries must rest on the solid foundation of love between individuals.” ~Mahatma Gandhi~
“No matter where we are on the journey-we are always stepping further into groundlessness. Enlightenment is not the end-it’s just the beginning of fully entering into we know not what.”
The last words of that sentence….WE KNOW NOT WHAT….isn’t that our worst fear? That we don’t know what is ahead of us and that is something that is really hard for most people to deal with…letting go and trusting that ALL SHALL BE WELL.
Before I close my book review, I liked how Pema Chodron brought in stories of her experiences with her teachers. A few simple words they said to her in response to her training came back to me and resonated with my soul, they were, “It’s no big deal.” and “It’s Okay.”
Although this book was rich with wonderful ideas, at the end of it, I was just thinking to myself, I’m okay, and it’s no big deal. And that is what I’m taking to book club tonight.
As we are about to head into Trick or Treat season, when scary creatures are ringing our door bell, literal or figuritively, I thought I would leave you with a comfort food recipe that I made last night. PERFECT for making this weekend, “Country Chicken Casserole and Biscuits” and a recipe for a quick “Chocolate cake,” you can whip up really fast and delicious enough to impress your scariest guests.
Happy Halloween! if I don’t get the chance to post again…it’s really busy around here this time of year although I had hoped to get my famous sugar cookie recipe on my blog…stay tuned for my pumpkin cookie recipes. I have to make it for Will’s kindergarten class party so I will try to bring you in the kitchen for some fun creations. Enjoy this special time of year when we really have to look fear in the face and say, BOO!
Hope’s Country Chicken Casserole with Biscuits
- 3-4 skinless, boneless chicken breasts
- 1 tablespoon olive oil
- 3 cups diced potatoes
- 1 cup diced carrots
- 2 tablespoons butter
- ½ cup sliced celery
- 1 medium onion, chopped
- 2 cloves garlic, chopped
- 1 cup chicken stock
- 2 cups of vegetables whatever you have….I used brocoli, cauliflower, swiss chard and kale,
- 3 tablespoons butter
- 3 tablespoons all-purpose flour
- 1 cup milk
- ½ teaspoon salt
- if you have some sage and parsley they make a nice seasoning that you can add when you cook the celery, onions and garlic
Note: If you want a really creamy sauce double the sauce ingredients above
- Preheat oven to 400º F.
- Bake chicken pieces until lightly browned, no longer pink. ( it took 40 mins for my breast pieces which were quite thick) Remove from oven, cut up into small 1 inch pieces. Set aside
- Cut up potatoes into nice big chunks and boil until almost done, add carrots and the rest of the vegetables…cook until all are tender. Remove and drain water.
- In a sauce pan, melt 2 tbsp butter, cook celery, onions, garlic until tender. Add chicken broth and cook until boiling. Remove.
- Melt butter in 3-quart saucepan over medium-low heat. Whisk in flour until smooth and then slowly pour in milk, whisking constantly. Remove from heat and add salt, pepper if you wish.
- Put chicken and vegetables into a a casserole dish along with the chicken broth and white sauce, mix well.
(Make biscuits and put on top of casserole….bake in hot oven 450 F for 12 minutes or until biscuits are golden brown)
This is what it looks like before adding the biscuits….since this was such a large pan though, next time I would add more white sauce…and also next time I’m going to do the English Pea and carrots….my kids aren’t crazy about peas but I LOVE THEM ..my Grandma Clark used to say, “they will put hair on your chest!”
Hope’s Biscuits
Ingredients
2 cups All purpose Flour
4 tsp baking powder
1 tsp salt
1/4 cup shortening
1 cup milk
(For our larger family I double the recipe….any extra biscuits get eaten with jam the next day)
Instructions
Mix together flour, baking powder and salt. Cut in shortening with two knives or a pastry blender until the mixture is the consistency of course cornmeal. Make a well in the centre of these ingredients; add liquid slowly. When all the liquid has been added, stir dough rather vigorously until it comes freely from the side of the bowl. Turn dough onto lightly floured board and knead lightly for a few minutes. roll or pat out to desired thickness–about 1/2 inch thick. Bake in a hot oven, 450 degrees F. Makes 12 biscuits
David loves it when I’m cooking for my “blog” because he often gets a glass of wine too….
Tonight we added a nice white wine that my sister J and brother in law B, gave D for his birthday. B says it is the best quality white wine for it’s price…we love B.C. wine! Thanks J and B!
Perfect with my Country Chicken Casserole with Biscuits….ENJOY!
And for another comfort food that will surely chase anything you are scared of, AWAY>>>>
Hope’s Comfort Food Homemade Chocolate Cake
- 2 cups all-purpose flour
- 2 cups sugar
- ¾ cup unsweetened cocoa powder
- 2 teaspoons baking powder
- 1½ teaspoons baking soda
- 1 teaspoon espresso powder (opt)
- 1 teaspoon salt
- 1 cup milk
- ½ cup vegetable oil
- 2 eggs
- 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
- 1 cup boiling water…I had left over coffee so I added a cup of hot coffee
- Preheat oven to 350º F. Prepare two 9-inch cake pans by spraying with baking spray or buttering and lightly flouring or 1-13×9 pan.
- For the cake:
- Add flour, sugar, cocoa, baking powder, baking soda, salt and espresso powder to a large bowl or the bowl of a stand mixer. Whisk through to combine or, using your paddle attachment, stir through flour mixture until combined well.
- Add milk, vegetable oil, eggs, and vanilla to flour mixture and mix together on medium speed until well combined. Reduce speed and carefully add boiling water(coffee if you have it) to the cake batter. Beat on high speed for about 1 minute to add air to the batter.
- Distribute cake batter evenly between the two prepared cake pans or in one large pan. Bake for 30-35 minutes, until a toothpick or cake tester inserted in the center comes out clean.
- Remove from the oven and allow to cool for about 10 minutes, remove from the pan or let cool completely and ice in pan. .
- Frost cake with a Buttercream icing….I added a tsp of hot water with instant coffee for a mocha flavour to my icing
This cake was the perfect comfort dessert after the Country Chicken Casserole with biscuits…I hope you try it out on a day that you need some home cooking to comfort you.
If you are interested in hearing more from Pema Chodron, on Fear and Fearlessness.…check out this YouTube video.
Until we meet again, may you be well, happy, peaceful…and FEARLESS!
Blessings from Hope