Okay, so you’re probably wondering what homemade salsa has to do with mental health. Well, if you hang in there, I hope I can make the connection by the end of my blog post but first, I want to tell you what’s been going on around here. Did you know that October 2 – 8th is Mental Health Awareness week? Tomorrow is the last day for the heightened focus of this issue, but for me personally, it’s going to be a permanent fixture inside of my brain.
I’m a pretty typical person, in that yes, I’ve had bouts of anxiety and some depression in my life but it’s never been anything that is so dark, or debilitating that a certain amount of time and learned coping mechanisms didn’t solve. I really haven’t thought too much about mental health in the past, until this last year that is, because like cancer for instance, where there is only a 6 degrees separation from anyone affected, mental illness is the same. In fact, in my own family we have several members who are affected and suffer in varying degrees, and for each, it manifests differently. When I started thinking of it, are any of us truly immune from mental issues to some degree or another?
So when I heard about a Mental Health talk being given at one of our local high schools (Seaton) on Tuesday night, I was motivated to attend. Any further light that could be shed on this topic was only an asset in my opinion.Thankfully, a few of our older children were home and agreed to help with their younger siblings, so my husband David and I were both able to attend.
As it turned out, it was an inspiring evening but not in the way I had expected. I walked into the high school theater feeling still at arms length from mental illness and was stunned to realize I was walking out, not only better informed but realizing it was closer to home than I had thought. If I truly believe we are ALL connected, then this is right on my back door and knocking to be heard.
The main speaker, Sam Fiorella, was the father to Lucas Fiorella, who killed himself after suffering from depression in secret for a number of years.. Lucas was just 19 years old when he died. His passing was a great shock to his family and all who knew him, because Lucas was the most unlikely person to end his own life. He had three passions in his life: being a friend to those in need, snowboarding, and robotics. At the time of his death he was studying Robotics at one of Canada’s Ivy League Universities, Carleton in Ottawa. You would think that he would be in his glory studying at such a prestigious University doing what he loved, but the fact was, he had been silently suffering from depression for years.
After he died however, several high school and University students came forward to share with his family, how he had taken the time to recognize that they were suffering with mental illness and helped them in the process. In one instance, a high school classmate was contemplating how she was going to commit suicide. She decided she couldn’t do it at home since she had a stay at home mom, instead, she went to school and was just sitting in silence, trying to sort out what she was going to do when Lucas approached. He offered a simple hello and sat down to talk, but mostly listened to her. After she poured out her feelings and how she was planning to kill herself he said, “how about we go and tell your mom.?” Which was the beginning of saving that girls life. It started with “hello.”
“One’s life is not measured in years but by the positive contribution made to the lives of others.” ~Sam Fiorella~
The organization that was inspired by Lucas’s loss is called, The Lucas Fiorella Friendship Bench.
Here is what the organization is trying to achieve:
“1: The Friendship Bench
Our efforts are built around this iconic yellow friendship bench, which is installed at secondary and post-secondary schools. It serves as a permanent, physical, and year-round reminder to students to take a moment out of their day to sit, breathe, and talk (or think) about their mental health and that of their friends. It’s intended to inspire peer-to-peer conversations about mental health in order to reduce the stigma and encourage more students seek help.”
The Seaton high school had arranged for Sam Fiorella to come and speak, in conjunction with this Mental Health Awareness week but he was also there to present the school with a bright yellow bench that the 1996 Alumni group had fund raised for, in memory of their classmate, who also had committed suicide after struggling with mental illness.
The realization that this story could be mine, (Grace of God and all that) since we have a son who is also a top student, a high achiever in all areas of his life. Everything always seemed to be easy and natural for our well liked, straight A son, but little did we know he was experiencing episodes of anxiety, even as a young child. I always thought when he would wake up in the middle of the night, hyper-ventilating and unable to catch his breath that it was his allergies. We even took him to the Doctor to discuss allergies, because mental illness wasn’t even on my radar.
Over the years, he has learned to cope and he deals with his episodes of feeling disoriented and anxious by taking deep breaths and meditating, which helps to calm him. There have been times though where he’s told me he’s isn’t happy and he is just going through the motions of doing what he must do. Oh, my heart just breaks when I hear this, as I’m just like any mom, and my biggest wish is for my children to be happy. IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK? I’m glad he has been able to talk to us but it scares me at the same time. Even though he says he’s okay, when does it stop being okay and will we be there for him when it’s not?
Thankfully, the stigma against mental illness is breaking down, opening up and coming to light since mental issues does affect a lot of people and we are starting to talk about it. To break the down the wall further, we need to teach our children from a young age to recognize their feelings and share them. Thankfully, in our children’s kindergarten classes, they are teaching the Zones of Regulation, which is a huge step in self awareness and communication.
Our son has been telling us for awhile now that he’s not always doing great and after Sam Fiorella’s talk, we finally really took it seriously. (Although I have to say, we did encourage him to talk to someone, which he did. On his own, he went to speak with one of the school counselors but it wasn’t a very effective meeting) Why it took so long for us to actually take the reins and get directly involved, I can’t tell you. If our son had been suffering from a physical ailment, we would have made sure he saw a medical physician, so why is his mental state of health any different. The day after the talk we contacted our son’s University, and booked an appointment for him to talk to a clinical psychologist. Hopefully that will be the first step to help him deal with his mental issues.
If you can’t see the above YouTube, click on this hyper-link, Mental Illness: What you see/what you don’t see
All this week, I have been talking to people, via Facebook, friends, family, teachers, and now I’m blogging about it. I hope like a pebble in the pond, I’m doing a small part in changing society’s ideas about mental illness now, for I believe there is still a stigma. Why else didn’t I see it before now? I’m really sad that Lucas had to suffer in silence, and others like him who finally felt they had no option but to take their own life. I’m going to do something about it now….because you know what Maya Angelou says?
And now you are wondering what Salsa has to do with mental health….well……along with talking about mental health all this week, I’ve been making salsa. And while chopping tomatoes I’ve been thinking about my own mental health and the things I do personally to try to stay healthy. I was thinking how fortunate I am to be able to quit my career as an Insurance/Employment Officer with the Federal government and now be able to do what I love; raise children, care for our home and garden. It’s not always easy and we have had to make a lot of financial trade offs but I swear, digging in my garden, working in my compost pile and creating beauty in my yard, has saved me a number of times over the years. Those and the great hugs I get from my kids.
The most difficult thing about living in today’s society, in my humble opinion, is many people are not able to do what they love. We have set the world up for our children to have a certain expectation of what’s considered a successful life. Accumulations of wealth and property, is still the benchmark considered, for the measure of success. As parents, we try to give our children the best education and we expose them to all sorts of after school enriched activities, so they can compete to get into the best Universities, obtain the best jobs, and all the while, we have forgotten to look at them as individuals. Hey, I’m guilty of it ALL!!! But I’m hoping, with some conscious awareness, like Maya says, I will do better now.
Thankfully, our new school curriculum is moving in that direction. Recently, in our Province teachers have been trained to move in the direction of “inquiry based learning,” which allows children to follow their interests and the teachers act as facilitators in guiding them. There isn’t any score card or level of attainment. The children are the judge on what is individually successful. Yes, we all have a long ways to go, but with any journey, it takes a vision and the goal to create a healthier, happier society.
And back to my gardening, growing tomatoes, and making salsa…well, gardening has been my therapy.
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| A cute quote…but seriously, if you need a mental health check up…GET professional help! |
Digging deep into the dirt, allowing some of my daily problems and concerns to be dug in and turned over, so I can contemplate my life and put my issues into perspective has been crucial for me, along with knowing the tiniest seeds I’m planting are growing into beautiful plants.
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| This is a heritage Brandywine tomato plant I put in the ground last May (plant your tomatoes deep is my advice) |
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| In this picture you can see my tomato plants next to the pool fence which works great as a stake. I have just added grass mulch which improves the soil as it decomposes, keeps the weeds down and keeps the soil moist |
Observing how graceful the changing seasons flow, also teaches me to look at the bigger picture in my life and know that this too shall pass when problems that may overwhelm me take hold.
Even when I’m stressed with house stuff, kid stuff, financial stuff, world stuff,… when I come back to the simple tomato harvest, picking, cleaning, chopping and cooking, it allows me to let go and realize how great a few jars of salsa feels to create. In the process of growing my tomatoes and peppers, my body received some exercise, some Vitamin D, and now will benefit from the Vitamin A, Vitamin C, potassium and lycopene that my spicy salsa provides.
If you have an abundance of tomatoes right now or want to buy some from your local farmer (I noticed in our local paper, farmers have U pick fields and the prices are great) and want to join me in contemplating mental health, while providing your families with a spicy salsa, check out how easy it is and yes, while it’s cheap to buy salsa….does anything compare to homemade?
Homemade Salsa for Canning
Ingredients
20-30 med to large tomatoes…if you can use the Italian Roma variety, they have less seeds
3 onions (I used my homegrown yellow onions…..but you can use 1 yellow, 1 red, 1 white)
3 sweet peppers and again, if you use one of each green, red and yellow, that is a nice variety
3 to 4 hot peppers
1/2 cup of lemon juice
3-4 minced garlic cloves
1 tbsp salt
1 tsp freshly ground pepper
2 tbsp of chopped cilantro or if you don’t like the taste of cilantro..some people, like my oldest son think cilantro is soapy…you can use parsley
Directions
1. Sterilize your canning jars, lids and rings. I put my jars in the dishwasher and time the cycle to end when I’m ready to fill the jars so they are still hot. The lids and rings I put in a saucepan, cover completely with water and boil for several minutes and then set aside to dry
Modern canning advice says you don’t have to sterilize the lids and rings if you are using a water canner for over 10 minutes…but I’m old fashion and still like the idea of sterilized everything. Here’s a link to Modern Canning advice.
2. Clean tomatoes and place them whole into a large pot of boiling water for a couple of minutes. The time really depends on how ripe they are. The riper your tomatoes, the quicker the skins will start to split. Remove and place them in a colander, when drained well, place into a large bowl. I found I had to do this process about three times before I was able to boil and loosen the skin of all my tomatoes.
3.Now the big job of removing the skin on all the tomatoes and cutting and chopping them into chunk size pieces. Place all chopped tomatoes into the same large pot you used to boil them in.
4. Cut the onions and sweet and hot peppers into a large bowl. (Just typing about it now makes my eyes water and I start to cough. Something I find helpful is putting my onions in the fridge...there is something about them getting cold that helps to reduce the watering of eyes.) Add the chopped cilantro. (Some people use a food processor but I like to therapy of cutting up everything with a knife.
5. Add the lemon juice, the garlic and the salt and pepper.
6. Now add the onions, peppers, lemon juice and spices in the large pot with the tomatoes and heat them up. Bring to a boil and then simmer until ready to put them into jars. Stir really well. At this point, I do a taste test to check the spice level. If you want it hotter, add more pepper, or garlic but keep in mind that the processing of canning will increase the heat and intensify the spice.
7. When the jars are done in the dishwasher, fill them with the salsa mixture, leaving 1/2 inch space at the top of the jar. Wipe the top edges of the jars before putting the lids on, finally screwing the rings on tight…but not too tight.
8. Place filled jars into the boiling water of the water bath canner, making sure the water covers all of the jars by a few inches. Cover and boil for 15 minutes.
9. Remove the jars from water bath canner and cool them on the counter.
10. Before storing the jars tighten the rings and make sure the lids have sealed by pressing down on the middle of the lid…if they don’t move, it’s all good.
So that has been my week.
Whew! Big stuff!
Now the Canadian Thanksgiving weekend is upon us and I can only think, “how grateful I am.” Grateful for my family, my friends, for a peaceful country to live in, but mostly for the freedom to express my thoughts and ideas. Also, I’m thankful for Canada’s health care system, as we can get help and all it takes is a visit to a physician for a referral to a mental health professional.
I hope you share with me in spreading Lucas’s story and ensure the loss of his life was not in vain.
I’m also thankful to you, my readers for coming to visit me here. Thank you!
And before I leave you, I wanted to share a song that the little kids like me to play when I pick them up from school….”Ain’t no Mountain High Enough,” by Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell.
I open up the sun roof on our van, and we crank the tunes….and we all sing really loud, “Ain’t no mountain high enough, ain’t no valley low enough, ain’t no river wide enough baby…to keep me from getting to you.” I hope they are taking in the words really well…and we are singing loud enough that their big brother away at University hears them and knows, we are there for him.
Ain’t no valley low, ain’t no river wide enough baby
If you need me call me no matter where you are,
No matter how far; don’t worry baby
Just call my name; I’ll be there in a hurry
You don’t have to worry,
Ain’t no valley low enough,
Ain’t no river wide enough
To keep me from getting to you babe
I told you you could always count on me darling
From that day on, I made a vow,
I’ll be there when you want me,
Some way, some how
Ain’t no valley low enough,
Ain’t no river wide enough
To keep me from getting to you babe
No wind, no rain
Or winters cold can stop me baby, na na baby
‘Cause you are my goal
If you’re ever in trouble;
I’ll be there on the double
Just send for me, oh baby, ha
Way down in my heart
Although we are miles apart
If you ever need a helping hand,
I’ll be there on the double
Just as fast as I can……..
Until we meet again, may you be well, happy and peaceful.
Blessings from Hope