What does the wisdom of Gandalf, blessing today and carrot muffins have in common? Well hang in there and I will try to tie them all together. I’m sorry that I haven’t been writing more on my blog. I have been rather depressed since Christmas. Ever since everyone went back to their own lives full of wonderful experiences and interesting activities. I’ve also been sad over the state of our world.
On a personal note:
Our oldest daughter, Alyssa, (also a passionate LOTR fan…for those of you who are not, that stands for the “Lord of the Rings” which are books written by J. R.R. Tolkien) is back living and working in Victoria as a teacher and a writer. (Check out her latest post on her blog, A.R. Reynolds)
Our oldest son, Clark is working at our local Science Center and patiently waiting for law schools to knock on our door. Fingers crossed that he will be returning to school in the fall; not that I’m in any hurry for him to leave home but I know the next chapter of his life is beckoning.
Our son Mitchell, who just turned twenty two yesterday, (Happy Birthday dearest son) is in his last year of Science at the University of Victoria, and later this Spring he will graduate with his bachelor’s degree. Who knows where he will go with his Science/Psychology degree but there is a need for mental health professionals in Canada ( in the world really) right now, so I’m sure he will find this an exciting and flourishing field to continue to study, or work in.
Our third son, Harrison, who just turned 19 before Christmas, is in his first year of University and he seems to be handling a full course load of Science/business courses. I never hear from him so I know he’s staying busy with school. When I run into his friends, some who have remained in our little town to attend our local University, they tell me that from the snap chats he sends out, “he’s having a very good time away from home!”
Hmmmm…..a mom letting go moment here. I’m happy you are enjoying University life Harry.
Grace, who just turned 15, is probably the busiest of us all. While maintaining straight A’s in school, she is also working on her grade 9 piano, her grade 7 voice, she has a voice festival coming up, sings in the school choir, and plays on the school basketball team. The later came TOTALLY out of left field, when she told us back in November, that she was going to try out for the junior girl’s team. (never having played before!!!) Shockingly, she is following in her older brother Harrison’s footsteps with adept ability. During their last tournament she won, “most valuable player,”and was given a t-shirt/Gatorade as a prize. She strongly played her post position, made several baskets, including two back to back free throws and assisted numerous times. Who knew? (Goes to show we all have unknown talents and gifts)
Our son William who is eight, is no couch potato either. He plays cello, and is involved in the group string orchestra at our local music school. He is also swimming in our local swim clubs “grassroots program.” Last night he came home smiling and waving an upcoming swim meet registration form. He also enjoys being a part of the chess club at school.
Finally there are our twin daughters, Kathryn and Victoria. For six year olds, they are busy in their own right, learning to play piano and violin. Next week they have been invited to join the beginner violin group at our music school.Although we didn’t register them for another round of swimming and skating lessons, which they were doing all fall, (me smiling as that was a bit much) we have been getting them out to skate at our new and improved outdoor skating rink. I think they like it even better than lessons as they can free skate, doing whatever they want while racing their Dad and older brother Will. (Next time I’m joining them)
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| Kathryn |
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| Victoria |
Then there is my husband David, who doesn’t share much about his work except to say, “more projects have been pouring in,” with a grin on his face. I guess that is why he heads out the door to get to the office for 7 am each morning
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| David, truly my better half |
So you see, everyone is busy with their own lives.
Then there is me.
I’ve kind of been floundering since the twins started grade one last September. I think I understand one aspect towards parents who choose home-schooling. It’s really a delight keeping them close and watching them learn and grow. I truly admire these families.I’ve been asked a few times lately if I home-school our children and I think I will write about our education choices in a future post and perhaps give you some links to tools and resources we use to support our children’s learning but for now suffice it to say—-
AFTER I waved goodbye to the little ones, who took the bus this morning, I decided that I HAD to break the monotony of my daily routine.
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| As you can see from the distant hillsides, we still have tons of snow |
OR I was going to go crazy!!!
INSTEAD of coming in and cleaning up the kitchen, which was a MESS from a whirlwind morning of cooking oatmeal, making a fruit smoothie, and making lunches, (yes I should have made them last night), picking up bathroom towels and pj’s off the floor, throwing my first load of laundry in for the day, unloading last nights dishes from the dishwasher, gathering up garbage from everyone’s bedroom, and making beds; that is just a snippet glimpse into my morning routine,
I chose to feed the cat, not really a choice since he was loudly meowing that he was hungry, AND I took the chickens their breakfasts. (those chickens eat better than most people in the world, just saying) After that, I disregarded the mess and made a BIG cup of black tea, with a splash of vanilla unsweetened almond milk, took a bowl of leftover oatmeal, and headed back to bed.
I never do this!!!
Take the gentle path.
~ George Herbert~
Nope!
That has not been my path………
My oldest sister B often says to me, “be gentle on yourself.” I don’t know if she meant for me to crawl back into bed after the kids left for school but I know when she says this, she means she wants me to take life easier.
That is not in my DNA!
For some reason, the mantra I hear lingering years after my Dad died, when I was five years old is:
“Work hard!”
But…..
I think there is great wisdom in my oldest sister’s words. Thanks B! I wished I listened to them more.
But today, I’m all ears.
I am here, laptop in hand, sipping comforting tea, eating oatmeal loaded with nuts, seeds and fruit, and cuddled under my cozy comforter. Ryuuki, our Siamese cat is doing his front paw kneading routine, getting ready to curl up for a good sleep. He looks at me with his big blue eyes and says, “it’s about time you joined me in the good life.”
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| Ryuuki is a good teacher how to live life gently. |
We should all listen to our big sisters, and our pets.
I’m pondering my depression. Looking at it as if it were a ball of darkness in my hands. Like the “palantir,” which was the crystal ball in J. R. R. Tolkien’s books, “Lord of the Rings.” Mine is black and heavy. As I gaze into the depths of the ball, instead of seeing a blazing evil eye, as the small hobbit, “Pippin,” in the Lord of the Rings saw when he picked it up, I see the United States president, Donald Trump telling the North Korean dictator, Kim Jong-un that he has a bigger nuclear button on his desk.
With their hateful words and actions, they draw us closer towards midnight on the doomsday clock. Thanks to these two leaders, (can they be called that???”) a panel of scientists and scholars said just yesterday that the world is as close as it has ever been to a so-called doomsday scenario. A nuclear war which will end life as we know it on earth. For some reason, I think about the Lord of the Rings trilogy set in J. R. R. Tolkien’s Middle Earth, when I read or hear any news about Trump and the Korean Dictator. At times, it’s so bizarre that it feels like a fictional nightmare. But this is really happening on our earth right now.
I try to look away but then my crystal ball shows me an image of my children. Small and sweet like the hobbits in the LOTR’s. William’s laughter is light and tinkling and his eyes shine with joy, and the little girls respond with giggles of mirth. Their images replace Trump and Kim Jong-un and the doomsday clock. I can see our children playing music together and hear the harmony flowing out of the ball and into the world.
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| Clark playing violin with his little sisters, Kate on the left and Tori on the right |
And I wonder, how can a depressed, middle age mom, help to change the world, when I don’t even have the energy to clean the house today. How can I shift the darkness that hovers over my heart, over our planet, and threatens to invade my home? As I asked these questions of myself, I thought of the words of Gandalf.
“It is the small everyday deeds of ordinary folks that keep the darkness at bay. Small acts of kindness and love.”
And that is where my small acts of kindness and love come in….and I start to tie in the whole blessing aspect of my post.
“Bless a thing and it will bless you. Curse it and it will curse you…if you bless a situation,it has no power to hurt you, and even if it is troublesome for a time, it will gradually fade out, if you sincerely bless it.” ~Emmet Fox~
Blessing the circumstances we are living with in the world, is our pathway to changing it. Accepting the situation and WHAT IS, doesn’t mean we are complacent towards it. No! But it is the first step in the path towards moving forward and changing our circumstance.
In my own personal life, things are changing. My children are growing up and moving out into the world. They don’t need me quite as much. That’s a good thing. That means David and I are raising strong independent people. This is a blessing. Lately, I’ve been thinking about getting back into the work force but when I think about trying to balance everything again; work and home life, I cringe.
Is that the right path for me”
After seeing two career opportunities that interested me recently, both of which I’m qualified for, I shared my thoughts with my husband. He looked at me for a long time, contemplating my words and my desire to move down a new path but after what felt like a long time, he said,
“You underestimate your value in our home.”
Huh?
He further went on to say that everything I did at home, enabled everyone else to accomplish great things.
Wow!
I do that!
Really?
As I was in the kitchen pouring a second cup of steaming tea just now, I dropped the job ads in the recycling bin. I must admit January is a slow month. I need more sunshine. Also, I know my garden will be calling to me in a short while. I have great plans for expanding our vegetable garden. Adding a few more chickens to our flock and maybe planting a mini grape vineyard. Once spring comes, David and I will be working on our second rock wall above the pool and getting it planted. In the meantime, we have to finish the attic renovation before Harrison returns in late April. And then there is always the opportunity to work at my gardening gig from late April to mid June. My boss did invite me back at the end of last season.
There is a lot to bless today.
I sit up a bit straighter in bed, that dark ball slips further from my fingertips. And yet, that heaviness holds on like a tight strap around my heart, squeezing any happiness I may feel.
I know I’m not the only one feeling this way.
Judging from all the protest marches occurring in the States, and various places around the world, I’m not alone in wanting positive change in the world.
But what can I do about it?
So many questions….
And then something I heard recently on the CBC radio hits me. I wish I could remember the name of the guest speaker, but I was driving at the time and I couldn’t write his name down. He was a spiritual teacher who said, there is power in sending a different message out into the world. One most people wouldn’t think of but has tremendous power.
Loving kindness
Hmmmm.
During that CBC radio segment, seeds were planted in my heart and I know that by taking the time to be gentle on myself today, it loosened the straps of darkness holding me hostage. Although, I’m personally not in a place to send loving kindness to men who move through the world as ego, power hungry lunatics, I AM willing to send them a blessing.
A blessing of kindness.
If I really want to be about helping our planet earth, then it starts from a place of accepting these men are in power, understanding that we are on the brink of a pending apocalyptic event, and fear and hatred is not an effective emotion right now. These feelings never solved anything.
Blessing others and sending loving kindness is the answer. And if enough of us take a moment to bless our earth and all that is happening within it, and especially those who vex us, I know this is the key to the positive change I want to see in the world.
Who knew that the most effective form of protest was a blessing.
This is where I need to be right now.
My family needs me at home…even if I am in bed writing this morning.
Maybe it’s the way out of my depression too.
There is GREAT wisdom in choosing to take a gentle path in life. Maybe more of us need to cuddle up in bed with our cat or puppy by our side, sipping hot comforting tea. I’m blessed to have this option. But most of us can incorporate some kindness towards ourselves into our day.
No matter what path we are on, we need to take gentle steps. Steps that aren’t fraught with rocks, easing ourselves towards more joy, more kindness, and definitely more love.
Bless today!
And what does all of this have to do with Carrot muffins you may ask. When we bless our day and those in it, we bless what is. We accept our circumstances and in doing so there is a exhale of surrender. We let go. And with that letting go moment, trust whooshes in. You know that saying that the Universe can’t abide a void. When we let go, trust flows into our life and goodness follows it.
And like the law of attraction, when we live in a state of goodness, we attract more of it into our lives.
Goodness comes!
And THAT is where the carrot muffins come in.
My Goodness!
Because after a morning of writing, sipping tea, and generally, being kind to me, I filled my cup up. I’m able to give back. I’m able to send blessings out to the world and particularly to two men that I feel need a whopping bowlful of it for how they have been behaving. And for my family, well, when my kids come home from school this afternoon, they are going to smell warm spices wafting out of our kitchen and find a large red plate loaded with carrot muffins waiting JUST for them.
Yes, as Mother Teresa said, “I can do no great things, only small things with great love.” And so today, I can write about being sad, about blessing my situation, about blessing those who vex us, and about moving in the direction towards change with an expectation for only goodness.When we send love out, we are really loving ourselves.
Because if I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times; “We ARE, all connected!”
Please join me in a sec in my kitchen and we can make some muffins. I need to get up now, bath and get my house whipped into shape. Gee, who knew I would have so much energy after a morning in bed! While we bake let’s listen to the following YouTube video. As I was writing this post and talking about the spiritual leader I heard on CBC earlier this month, I remembered an email I got from my sister C. (I know, I’m blessed to have THREE wise and gorgeous sisters) Anyway, I guess the Universe REALLY wanted me to get this message. The link to the YouTube video she sent is a guided loving meditation from Ajahn Sona, who I met many years ago during a weekend retreat at the Birken Monastery.
No matter what your beliefs or faith, when you come from a place of love, there is great healing.
The first time I listened to Ajahn Sona’s video and sang along with him, “All I ask of you is forever to remember me, as loving you,” I cried and cried. Tears just flowed. I was thinking about my mom, my dad, about my sisters and their families. I thought about each of our children and hoped that they ALL know, that if I said nothing else to them in this lifetime, that they hear THESE words, from me. It”s such a healing message. Then as I said these words to my loved ones, I was hearing them say these words back to me.
My sister C, I heard you gently singing them to me. Thank you!!!
And get ready to sing, and cry……if you can’t see the video below, click on the hyper-link.
“All I ask of you is forever to remember me as loving you.”
I know I wove in and out of various topics today in this post, but if you remember nothing more, remember my love for you and my intention to contribute to the world in a loving way. As always, I’d love to hear from you. If you are unable to comment directly on this blog, you can always send me a message on my Facebook page.
Love is where it’s at people~the rest is just filler.
And speaking of filler…..here is my carrot muffin recipe.Let’s bake!
Hope’s Homestead Carrot Muffins
Ingredients
2 eggs
1 cup of carrot/apple pulp (when I made my juice yesterday I saved the pulp but if you don’t have any pulp from left over juicing use 1 cup of applesauce instead)
1/2 cup applesauce
1/2 vegetable oil
1/2 cup white sugar
1 cup brown sugar
1 tsp vanilla
1/2 cup vanilla unsweetened almond milk
2 cups flour (I like to use 1 cup whole wheat/1 cup white flour…using just wheat makes it heavy)
1/2 cup oatmeal
1 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
2 cups of grated carrots
Topping Ingredients
1/2 cup brown sugar
1 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp nutmeg
1/4 allspice
1/2 cup chopped walnuts
Directions
In a medium bowl mix the 2 eggs, 1 cup of carrot/apple pulp and/or 1/2 cup applesauce, 1/2 cup oil, 1 tsp vanilla, 1/2 cup almond milk and 2 cups of grated carrots.
In a large bowl mix the 2 cups of flour, the 1/2 cup oatmeal, 1 cup of brown sugar, 1/2 cup of white sugar, 1 tsp baking powder, 1/2 tsp baking soda, 1/2 tsp salt and the spices. (1 tsp cinnamon, 1/2 tsp nutmeg, 1/4 tsp allspice)
Mix the wet ingredients into the dry ingredients but only until just combined. Over mixing will create a heavy muffin….and we want light muffins with nice texture
Place into greased muffin tins…..I fill to the top as I like big muffins. This recipe makes 18 nice size muffins.
Sprinkle the topping, sugar, spices and walnuts on top of each muffin.
Bake at 375 degrees for 15 minutes to 20 minutes…or until a toothpick comes out clean.
Cool slightly and then turn onto a cookie rack to cool….but only long enough to EAT!
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| A couple muffins for me to go along with my tea…while I edit this post |
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| And a plate waiting for the kids to come home |
As you munch on muffins, I hope you contemplate how you can take a gentle path. And as you move through your day, say your blessings.
Blessed be my blogging family!
Until we meet again, may you be well, peaceful and happy.
Hugs and much love from Hope