Merry Christmas!….it’s good to be back.
This year end blog post, is basically centered on the theme of Henry David Thoreau’s quote below.
~”Most of the luxuries and many of the so-called comforts of life are not only not indispensable, but positive hindrances to mankind”~
It’s timely is it not? After all, the weeks leading up to the holidays are consumer driven, as we purchase the non essentials in life, to bestow on those we love.
While there were many times I started writing on this theme, and I certainly talked to many people about it throughout the year, it took a recent event to help me find clarity on the subject.
Also, it was a tough year for me. In my often, ummm, can I say depressed state, the last thing I wanted to do was write a non inspiring post. After all, this is suppose to be where you can find hope. She was clearly absent.
Unwrapping the last days of this year, has allowed me to see the gem of wisdom that 2018 gave me. But first, before I show you how well it glitters, I’d like to travel back over the year, sharing how this unusual year unfolded for me.
Have you ever had one of those years, where almost everything you own, stopped working? Well, if I were to describe 2018, it would be the year of “experiencing possession hell.”
It literally started on New Years Day when David was taking the older kids home after Christmas. While driving over the mountains to the coast, a car flew by our van, and a rock was thrown up, hitting and smashing our sun roof. That was the first incident heralding a difficult year for us. The next item to crash was my computer.
I had really wanted to join my writing group in January, for what was meant to be a “diving deeper session,” but without my main writing tool, it was impossible to write. I have been limping along using the kid’s desk top computer, (which I’m writing on now) but it’s been agonizing to write in our computer niche, which is basically in the hall between all the children’s bedrooms, a thriving thoroughfare. Not in the least, conducive for writing.
Then all sorts of little things throughout the spring stopped working; our lawn mower and trimmer, David’s coffee maker, our toaster, the microwave to name only a few.
In June, we had a terrible wind and rain storm. I awoke in the dead of night, to hear William whisper urgently, “there is water coming into our house.” When I went to investigate, water was flooding down the stairwell. As it turned out, our sky light had blown off our roof and rain was pouring in, which damaged our wood floors, caused water stains on our drywall, and of course, the sky light was badly scratched. Of course, the roofers, who had just replaced our roof the year before, denied being responsible for “NOT” screwing our sky light down when they laid down the new shingles
This was also the month that we were finally having the air conditioner replaced, although we did know the summer before that this would be on our list. Still, it was a biggie and you know, it’s always such a pain getting contractors to quote and then actually do the job. We had started looking for someone to purchase it from in April and it had taken months to actually have it installed!
Finally, cool air was blowing in our house in time for our summer guests to arrive but then one morning, I woke up and there was no hot water. Yikes! Yes, our hot water tank needed to be replaced.
At this point, I threw up my hands and wondered what was next. What was next, ended up being new tires for our little car, (the back tire literally shredded to bits while I was driving with the kids to what was suppose to be a frugal camping experience, HA!) When we came back from that trip, our pool pump stopped pumping, and then, gee, while we are at it, we might as well replace the solar cover for the pool too, since it was falling apart.
Well, this went on and on, with one item after another breaking down. Somewhere along the way, we got our two University bound sons off to their respective schools, the van loaded down with various furniture pieces, their Dad had constructed for them throughout the summer. I thought things would let up, as we headed into fall but nope, and in fact, as I write this blog post, David just got the part for our garage door opener, and thankfully, it was the right one. He was able to take the whole thing apart and put the necessary part in himself. It’s handy, to have a handy-man in the house. What would we have done if he was not so, I don’t know.
What was the worst thing about this whole year you may ask? It was my depression. I was mentally broken. I can’t pin point when it started but with each thing that needed to be replaced or repaired, it took a piece of light out of me. And until recently, I felt disconnected with the world. When I look back at pictures of myself, I seem to be there but trust me, I was living in a fog of sadness.
But as life may have it, something happened to help me see my life in a different light. My dearest friend came for a visit in November. We don’t live close any longer, but thankfully, she still has family in our area and she often takes time to visits me when she does come to our little town. It was so good to see her and we caught up on each other’s lives in a few hours. You know you have a BEST friend when you can pick up exactly where you left off, even though you may not see each other for months.
This is for you T……
When I waved goodbye to her, I realized that she had brought me a huge gift. You see, her mom, and her younger sister, had both been recently diagnosed with cancer within months of each other. Throughout the fall, they had both been dealing with surgery and treatment for their disease. My dear friend was holding everything together for her family. Somehow, she has been caring for her immediate family, (as well as a family friend who was living with them) holding down a job, helping her oldest daughter to plan a wedding, spear heading many of her youngest daughter’s grade 12 grad events/fundraisers, while all the time coming up to the Okanagan to offer support and care for her extended family. When T’s navy blue car was finally out of sight, I walked back into my home, sighing deeply.
Something inside of me shifted.
A little piece of light shone.
When I look at the list of “THINGS,” that had broken in my life, I realized I was dealing with first world problems. Also, nothing can compare to when you have someone sick in your family.
It was all just stuff. Although it had been a really tough year on our pocket book, somehow David had earned the money to cover our expenses. Also, when I looked at my list; “sun roofs, sky lights, air conditioners, pool pumps,” etc, I realized how blessed we are!!! To even have these things in life is incredible. What really hit me was, “the more we have, the less focus we have on what is truly important.” Our family, our friends, our community, our world.
And when I look back on some of the highlights from our year, life was full of goodness, even if I was too blind at the time to recognize it. Here are a few moments from our 2018 year.
Guess what? My oldest had her ten year grad reunion last July. . Here she is visiting with our kitty Ryuuki before she heads off to one of the planned grad reunion events.
Then before we knew it, Clark was off to U of A, where he had been accepted into their law program. All thumbs up Clark!
Amidst all of those birthdays, it was time to decorate for Christmas….
As I wrap up 2018, I can look at it kindly and say, thank you. It was a year of immense lessons. When so many people in the world are starving, when many families are struggling to give their children a better life, when families are facing major health issues, or losing loved ones, how can I be depressed over our material wealth?
I gave myself a good kick in the pants, pulled up my socks and threw myself into the act of counting my blessings and giving to others. There is so much goodness in my life and this year, I basically slept through it all in a fog of depression. I vow to do better tomorrow, in the days ahead, and in the upcoming year.
I also want to take more time and reevaluate our material possessions. I read two interesting books this past fall, “Meet the Frugalwoods,” and “You can buy happiness, (and it’s cheap!).” Both books had me really thinking again about material possessions and simplicity. I know for me, when I choose to NOT buy into the consumer driven culture, when I’m creative, when I make things from scratch, etc, I’m more content and happier.
A good example, is our trip to the mountains once again to cut down our Christmas trees. (BTW, they are under the power lines and would be cut down anyway.) They are beautiful. No, they are not full and huge, like a cultured tree, or a fake one. Instead, they are organic looking, natural and real. Did I mention how delightfully fragrant they are too? Instead of buying a tree stand, David and I put our thinking caps on and filled a large bucket with small round rocks from our yard and filled it with water. Guess what? It works great and didn’t cost a thing.
Along the lines of simple living, I’m knitting our little girl scarves for Christmas and David has been in Santa’s workshop again this year making them a Barbie house. Our oldest daughter is also getting something special from the workshop, but as she often reads my blog, I will refrain from spoiling the surprise.
The point is though, that for me anyway, making things, if we have to have “things,” is more satisfying than earning the money and buying stuff. More stuff that will just break. And you know what brings me the most joy? Doing little things that help others. Although we didn’t have a lot extra in the budget this year, we were able to buy some baking from our school’s girls group, who were using the proceeds to purchase goats for third world families. We gave some gently used toys to our community’s local toy drive, (and a new one too) and all the kids dropped food into our school’s food bank bins. It’s not much, but it makes me smile and realize, I have so much.
So how was your 2018? What did it teach you about your life and how you are living it? Often, it’s the times in our life when we are down on our knees crying, that we learn the most about life. I don’t think we always need to suffer though to learn. We need to open our hearts, open our eyes and realize how blessed we are.
As the year closes, I hope you know that one of my blessings is you. I’m thankful to have a few people who make a cup of tea and come to read my posts.
Christmas is only a few days away and with it comes the season of light, love and hope. It’s hope that lit my way this year. Now if I can spread a bit of that around, my holiday will really be full of joy. Funny how that works hey?….when you give of yourself, the joy of giving floods back into your life.
What do you want for Christmas?
I hope your holiday is merry and bright and magic fills your heart. I thought I would end this post with one of my fav newer Christmas songs. “When Christmas Comes to Town,” from the Polar Express movie, is played, it WHOOSHES me back to when I was a little girl. A little girl whose father had just died and she was struggling to still believe in the unseen. Was Santa real? Where did her Dad go? I sometimes wonder if this material world is real.
I think it’s just an illusion to get me to look deeper.
Merry Christmas!
and happy New Year! It will undoubtedly be full of new experiences and lessons. (Also, in my case, my daily mantra will be, “All things are working in my life!)
Until we meet again, may you be well, happy and peaceful.
Blessings from Hope
(This blog post is dedicated to my dear friend T, her mom, and sister. You are not alone. Your struggles touch the world as we are all connected. “Be well.”)