The Healing Powers of Humour and Cinnamon Coffee Cake

(Note: I am not a Doctor, nor am I a mental health provider…the following is just a layman’s experience dealing with depression)

This new year, 2024, started painfully for me. Literally. As I mentioned in a prior post, I had a bad ski accident at the end of our Christmas holiday so for the month of January I was moving around gingerly. I wasn’t sleeping well and was only functioning because we live in the era of ibuprofen and acetaminophen. Needless to say, I wasn’t laughing much. The more pain I felt, the more depressed I got. It was a vicious cycle. By the time I started feeling better physically, February had arrived, but my mental state was bleak.

And what was worse…

You know if you’re a mom, your kids pick up on every emotional nuance you display. I wish they’d pick their socks up as quickly but the little creatures are finely attuned to whatever energy is pulsing through the house. Sadly, depression is contagious. In our house, there wasn’t much laughter in January. Everyone seemed to be dragging energetically. By the time I started feeling better physically, I had to pull my mental state out of the gutter. Thankfully I hadn’t gone down that rabbit hole too deeply and I was able to improve my mood in a few weeks, but by that time I had to pull everyone else out with me.

If being under the weather, ha! at this time of year resonates with you at all, pour yourself a cup of something warm and read on….

What do you call it when a snowman ignores you?

(Answer at the end of this blog post)

I thought I’d share a few tips and thoughts on this topic as this time of year can be difficult for so many people living in the Northern part of our planet. Our days are short, the nights long and it’s cold. If you have little kids, it can be even worse as it takes 15 minutes to just bundle them up to head outside, but strangely, that’s one of the first things I’d suggest. I know it’s hard, but just getting out and breathing some crisp winter air can do wonders. The Earth does heal us if we let her. If you can’t get out for a walk, at least stand outside and just breathe. Stay out long enough to look for the beauty in the world, even if it’s all dark and grey. Or white. Now that’s a magical colour! What are the sounds in the air? Are there any birds in the trees? Or is there only peaceful silence? That can heal us too. We all need peace and beauty in our lives.

Next, what’s helped me move out of the darkness of depression was making sure I stayed hydrated and started eating better. January can be a difficult month for lots of people when they may have put on a few extra pounds from all the treats on display during the holiday season in December. Making sure we focus on drinking more water and eating some healthy whole food can improve one’s mood tremendously.

Another depression killer, ha! was starting to count my blessings. This was tough at first but nothing elevates my mood several degrees better than being grateful for something. At first, it may have been only my afternoon tea time. It’s not an over night fix though. It’s something you need to work at. What I’d recommend is at the end of the day writing down three things that went well for you. At first it may be just getting out of bed and having a shower. Maybe one of those things can be things you did for someone else that helped to shift their mood. Nothing improves our feeling of worth more than helping others. And I don’t think this is just a mom thing. It’s a people thing. Helping others, helps us! But if you just can’t think of anything, there is always these tried and true basics:

1. I’m thankful I’m living on Earth and not Mars
2. I’m thankful for my health….and if you don’t have that, be thankful for, pick one; hearing, sight, smell, taste, ability to walk; hopefully one applies….if you count more than one you are rocking!!!
3. Family and friends, or a pet. Pets do wonders for our mental health. Look into their eyes and feel their fur…something magical happens.
4. And I’ll add this one, I’m thankful to still be breathing. If you feel you can’t add this one to your daily gratitude list because you are so low in spirits, it may be time to visit your Doctor or call the Emergency mental health line in your part of the world. In Canada it’s 9-8-8

I personally am thankful for my writing group. We meet every two weeks and I never leave them feeling worse than when I arrived. That’s something to be grateful for! In late January, one of our members gave us a writing prompt that pulled me out of my funky state of being. The prompt was for us to write a funny story. The weird thing is that I actually felt worse at first before I started feeling better. You see, I realized that I’m not a funny person. It made me more depressed as I racked my brain thinking of a funny event or story to share. Thankfully, I’m surrounded by people who look at the world with light humour filled eyes, so telling their story helped me to find my tiny funny bone. And you know what? Funny is as contagious as depression. Anyway, without further ado, I thought I’d share the story I wrote for my writing group with you now. It’s dedicated to my son Harrison, who never fails to lift my spirits. It’s dedicated to my writing bud, Jessica, who with her dead pan, extremely witty humour, and yes, often macabre way at looking at life, inspires me. I see you Jessie!

Here’s the story I wrote and shared recently with my writing group. May it lift your spirits and give you a few giggles, I hope….if not, stay to the end when I share my Cinnamon Coffee Cake recipe which is sure to get a smile, or your mouth watering. And the answer to the joke above.

Finding the Meaning for Life in Humour (#2 Version….YES, it took a few versions)

I am not funny. Nothing about me is funny at all. From my earliest memories I’ve been a deep thinker. Long before I heard Descartes’ phrase, “I think, therefore I am,” I’ve been a navel gazer.  A solemn individual if you will. I’d like to say the heavy grief from my Dad’s early death covered me in a gray shroud for most of my life, one in which prevented any light from entering. That would be true to an extent, but I still think if darkness hadn’t covered me from a young age, I’d still be searching for the reason for being here and the meaning of life. Superficial people irritate me. I’d like to shake them and say, don’t you see all the suffering on this earth? How can you live on the surface? But I don’t, because I realize we all process life differently and maybe some float on the surface in order to just keep breathing.

Also, I wonder if I’m not entirely bright enough to recognize the various types of humour. I wonder if it’s something that comes only after years of close observation. My husband David’s favourite part of the day, is spending an hour or two in the evening watching what I call, “Silly Sitcoms,” and popular, stand up comics. I hear him laughing away in the den. When I join him for a moment and listen, he seems to pick up on some sort of subliminal message the comedian is relaying. Mirth erupts in him, yet I remain stoic.

When I look back on my life, I can’t think of one funny story. Nope, nothing sticks out. When I ask my family if they have observed anything funny about me, or something that I can relay, my youngest daughter Victoria points out that it’s funny that I keep hiding the chocolate chip bag from them, but I can’t seem to ever remember where I’ve stowed it before I go to bake. That’s more pathetic than funny, And I’m sure everyone will be laughing after I’m long gone when they find chocolate chip bags hidden all over our house. I do have a few funny stories that my son Harrison has relayed over the last few years that stick out. He has inherited his dad’s funny bone. So if you are looking for something funny today,  I’ll share a few with you now. 

In his last year of school in Victoria, he was living right down town. To get out of his small apartment for some fresh air he used to go over to a nearby Starbucks for a coffee. One day as he came upon the Starbucks entrance, he spotted two workmen standing on the sidewalk. He overheard one workman telling the other one, “Okay, the only thing you have to do is make sure you don’t hit this light post when you back in.” Harrison didn’t think anything of it. He went in to get his coffee and when he came out, coffee in hand, he was surprised to find the two men still on the sidewalk but they were looking down at the back of the truck’s fender and one was scratching his head. Harrison overheard him tell the other man, “I don’t know how that happened!” Harrison said he chuckled all the way home.

Since graduating with a degree in Commerce, he’s been working in the Royal Bank of Canada’s head office in Toronto. He works long hours in the office and often doesn’t get home until late. One evening he put in an order with Uber eats. He left instructions for the food to be delivered to the apartment lobby. Harrison went for a quick walk and was standing in the deserted lobby when a delivery person walked in, carrying a bag from the restaurant Harrison had ordered from. 

He approached the man and said, “Hey, I’m Harrison, is that for me? The man mumbled something about having to make a call. Harrison watched the man pull out his phone and punch into his device. A moment later Harrison’s phone was ringing. “Harrison here,” he answered, looking directly at the delivery man, who at that point realized the ridiculous situation, although he didn’t laugh. He just handed over the bag of food and left. Harrison chuckled all the way up the elevator but when he told me that story, I wondered if that man was a relative of mine.

The last story I have to share, is one Harrison told us when he was traveling through the Philadelphia airport on his way home from a business trip to Chile. The security line was exceptionally long and Harrison wondered what was going on. As he got closer to the front of the line, someone ahead of him asked the security person what the hold up was and Harrison overheard this response. “We don’t have enough plastic bins for people’s personal belongings.” Harrison didn’t understand this. He was thinking to himself, “Isn’t this a closed loop system, on a circular conveyor belt? Where are all the bins? Who’s taking them?” After eons, he finally got through security and was heading to his gate when he saw security bins scattered all over the floor. They were catching drips of water from the ceiling. 

There were a few other incidents that happened in that airport as well that he found funny from a functional, efficiency standpoint, but he just chalked it up to people living in their own environment and not seeing the light.

Which gets me back to my situation. I wonder, if like them, I’m just living too deeply amidst the minutiae of life, which is preventing me from rising to the surface and observing what’s really going on. Maybe, the answers to the real meaning of life, have been floating up there all this time. 

The End

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I hope my story brought brought a smile. If so, that’s great. If not, then it’s time to make a few changes for the sake of your health. Your mental health is everything. I’m sharing the quote below because, no joke, this is something I’ve done and it didn’t make me feel better!

So try getting outside for a walk, eat healthy, stay hydrated. Count three things you are grateful for and if none of those things work, make an appointment with your Doctor and tell him/her how you’re feeling. You don’t have to be only physically unwell to visit your Doctor. This is something I’m learning. Our mental health is as important as our physical and within each, there is a link to wellness. Finding a friend to talk to can help until you can get in for some professional help. Any time you feel like it, come and visit me on my blog for some company. I’m working hard at producing a few giggles these days. At the very least, come for a piece of cinnamon coffee cake. At my last writing group gathering, I shared my cinnamon coffee cake with them and while we munched away, we laughed and laughed.

Here’s to the healing power of laughter!!! and to Coffee Cake too…

Hope’s Coffee Cake

Ingredients:

The topping;

1 cup brown sugar/1 cup all purpose flour/1 tsp ground cinnamon/pinch of salt/1/2 cup unsalted softened butter

optional; chopped walnuts or pecans and you can drizzle the top with a icing sugar glaze too

The Cinnamon layer:

1/4 sugar/1 tablespoon all purpose flour/1/2 tsp ground cinnamon

For the cake batter:

• 3 cups all-purpose flour
• 2 1/4 cups sugar
• 3/4 teaspoon baking powder
• 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1 cup softened unsalted butter
• 1 cup sour cream
• 1/4 cup whole milk
• 4 large eggs
• 1 tablespoon vanilla extract

Directions:

• Preheat the oven to 350°F and spray a 9 x 13-inch pan. (you can also use parchment paper to lift out cake easier)
• Make the streusel layer:
  In a small bowl, combine the flour, brown sugar, cinnamon, and salt. Use a fork to mash the butter into the mixture until completely combined and crumbly. Set aside.
• Make the cinnamon layer:
• In another small bowl, combine the sugar, flour, and cinnamon. Set side, as well.
• Begin making the batter:
• In the bowl of your mixer, add the flour, sugar, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. Stir until combined.
• Add the softened butter and beat on medium-low speed or mix for 2 to 3 minutes, or until all of the butter is mixed.
• Combine the wet ingredients and finish the batter:
• In a medium bowl, whisk together the sour cream, milk, eggs, and vanilla until combined. Add the mixture to the dry ingredients. Beat the batter on medium speed until you get a smooth batter. A few small lumps are totally fine.
• Prepare the cake:
• Spread half of the batter into the prepared pan. Sprinkle the cinnamon-sugar layer over the top of the batter in an even layer. Spread the remaining batter over the top. I do this with a big spoon and just drop lumps every few inches and then spread carefully.
• Bake the cake:
• Bake for 50 to 55 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean. Cool on a rack for 1 hour (or until the cake comes to room temperature) before serving. Can drizzle with icing sugar glaze if you wish

Serve with a dollop of laughter with your friends and family. Enjoy!!!

Answer to the snowman joke above.….did you guess it? (The Cold Shoulder!!!! ha! ha! ha!)

I want to thank you for visiting today.

Until we meet again, may joy and laughter fill your life.

and may you be well, happy and peaceful.

Blessings from Hope