A few nights ago, I was packing up care packages for each of our older children, who are all living in Victoria, on Vancouver Island. Our two sons, Mitchell and Harrison, are at University and our oldest daughter, Alyssa, is working as a teacher and a writer.
I miss them.
I miss them terribly.
My heart is thrumming a longing beat, sitting outside the tight drum of my chest. I wonder if people I meet sense the deep ache inside of me? I’ve been really good ever since saying goodbye to them after Christmas, after all I stay busy with our five children still at home. But our family has always celebrated Valentine’s day in a special way and I miss knowing they won’t find chocolate outside of their bedroom door tomorrow.
So I pack up small boxes loaded with treats uniquely chosen for each of them. Things, even if they had extra money, they would not purchase. Chocolate for sure, and other small treasures. I know it’s not environmentally the best choice. My husband tells me he will send them a bit of money and each of them can pick up a treat but I know they won’t. I know that each of them lives close to their pocket book and the extra money will just go into paying their bills or buying their necessities.
As I place each item in the box, I add a note and share a back story on the things selected. It’s going to cost a small fortune in shipping. But I am visualizing their smiles as they open their box and the joy in their eyes, as they discover treats chosen just for them. Thinking about their heart filling up, takes the ache out of mine.
I think a person loves better after experiencing loss. I’ve lost many people in my life. My dad as a young child, my grandparents, friends, aunts, uncles, pets. I’ve lost babies too. And six years ago, at the end of this month, I lost my mom.
Losing those you love is not an easy experience. The grief can be overwhelming and can take you to the darkest places in your life. By the time, my mom passed away though, I had come to the belief that we are souls first, living an earthly existence. Having that belief makes it easier for me to say goodbye for I know she only left her body, but her spirit didn’t leave me. I can still feel the vibration of her love around me and that is something I want to share with our children.
Especially the ones who won’t be with me this Valentine’s day. I want to put a little love into their heart.
I hope it bubbles up and spills from their hearts and flows into all the people in their life and continues to spread throughout the world. And by the end of the day, the whole world is harmonizing with that humming feeling of love.
We will all being humming with, “Bhava” which is the sanskrit word for love as a process or as a feeling or state of being.
This past weekend was extra long because of our Provincial family day. The kids worked on making homemade Valentine’s day cards…notice the girl’s smiles…they are starting to lose teeth!
Most people do way more than we do at Valentine’s but here the kids are making cards and putting a sucker in each card. Between them they made 66 cards. In their teacher’s card they tapped a red ball point pen.
A happy family day celebration! We are sending love to all our family and friends on Valentine’s day!
If you’re not interested in listening to some of my thoughts, and just want to make some great banana muffins, then scroll down and I’ll meet you at the bottom of this page.
If you ARE interested in hearing my reasons for NOT home-schooling, then continue on.
Warning though, it’s a bit of a novella. You may want to get a big cup of tea.
Let’s chat.
If you’re in this parenting gig too, you may be able to relate to some of my thoughts on the topic. If you are trying to decide how you want to educate your children, this post may give you a glimpse into what has worked for us, is continuing to work for us, and why we chose to make the choices we did/do.
What prompted this whole post, was partly my last post in January. It feels so long ago now. I shared feelings of floundering, ever since our twins started grade one last fall. After almost twenty eight years of raising children, having the house empty was a first for me.
I’m afraid I’m not one of those parents that sings, “hallelujah,” when kids go back to school after the summer break.And on the last day of school in June, I’m one of the first parents to be standing outside the school, arms wide open, a big smile on my face, gleefully welcoming summer AND our children back home for two glorious months.
I’m waving at my dearest friend Tamara, who has stood next to me waiting for her kids too.
Choosing to send them to school is hard for me.
Every day.
This morning, when I went into William’s still dark bedroom at 7 am to rub his back and whisper, good morning, he told me that he hadn’t slept well last night. “Oh really,” I said containing my excitement. “Do you think, maybe, ….you need to stay home?” I asked, silently hoping he would agree. “No, I want to go,” he said, with a stretch and a yawn. “We are making some stuff for ground hog day.”
~Sigh~
“Okay, cool,” I said, feeling a bit deflated.
Then later, as the kids sat around the island, eating their fruit and oatmeal and I was warming up some baked beans for their lunch thermoses, Will said something totally out of the blue. “Mom, if you knew this was the last day that you had on earth, what would you do?”
WOW!
Where did that come from?
But looking at my son, his blonde curls messy from sleep, wearing his, “Happy New Year” pj’s with a dog blowing a horn on the front, I’m not surprised. He lives in a state of light and often asks deep questions. I looked into his questioning blue eyes and told him,
“If this was the last day I had on earth, I would want to spend it with my kids.”
That must have touched him, he got up, reached his arms around my neck and pulled me in close for one of his smacky kisses.
Oh YEAH!
I don’t like sending them to school.
I would rather spend every day of their childhood with them.
Right now, as we move forward raising our last four children, I’m reevaluating my life. I’m trying to figure out who I am at this stage in my life and decide how I want to spend my spare time when our children are at school. Part of me wants to return to work full time. After all, the kids are gone for almost seven hours every day, five days a week. I can only clean the house so much; and I’ve discovered that in this tale end of my life, scrubbing floors and dusting is not how I want to spend my time. But as I type this post, I realize that educating our children isn’t just about sending them off to school each day.
It’s about being there when they get home and continuing the learning….in all ways.
Another reason this subject came up, is that recently one of my favourite vlogging families uploaded a video that spurred my thoughts on the matter. Like a dog that needs a walk, my thoughts have been mulling around my brain, words trailing like a leash, anxious to be picked up and allowed to run.
PLUS, this blog isn’t just about becoming more sustainable, being environmentally aware, and earth friendly. It’s evolving into a place where I can submerge my thoughts to a deeper degree and plunge into the ground, reflecting on how, a mom like me can really help our planet. A light bulb recently exploded and the notion of educating our children is where it’s at. After all they are the next guardians on earth. Also, I like the idea of connecting with other moms.
Moms like me.
Darci Isabella, is such a mom.
She has a large family; like me. She grows her own food; like me. She juices and eats healthy; like me. She has chickens; like me. She is on a minimalist path; like me, She has a soulfull faith that guides her; like me. And she home-schools her children.
Not like me.
She is also, much funnier than me!!!
And can use power tools!
She recently uploaded a video titled, “Developing Positive Self Esteem,” but the seeds of this vlog, deal with her choice to home-school her children. As I watched it, I started thinking about why we chose NOT TO home-school. If you want to have a peak at the video, click on the hyper link….or click below.
Isn’t she the greatest!!!! I really love watching her videos. They are fun, upbeat, and EDUCATIONAL. Also, her children are lovely in every sense of the word and she shares them generously with the world.
Before I go further into my post, I have to say that I don’t want this to be a debate about home-schooling versus public education. Not at all. Each has it’s merits. Each family is unique, as are their children and their learning needs. Also, I realize that we all have different ideas and goals for our children. For instance, my mom just wanted her four daughters to just graduate from high school, since she had been unable to do so. Our over all goal, is to keep enough doors open, so our children can decide which one to enter when they become young adults. The big is that they be happy, well, and peaceful.
So our answers to the question…….
Are we going to home-school?
Are we going to use public school?
Are we going to use a private school?
will be different for each of us.
IT’S ALL GOOD!
In Darci’s case she shares a rather humiliating experience that happened to her as a teenager in public school. What made this event worse, was she felt that she didn’t have an adult to confide in.Then, she shared another experience when her first daughter was bullied in preschool and the teacher didn’t react in a proactive manner. How unfortunate. I’m sure, she had other reasons and experiences too but after that last one, she said she decided to home-school her daughter and her subsequent children. It worked for her.
And is continuing to work for her, as she has older children and younger ones; like me.
Watching her video, got me thinking about how our own life events/experiences influence us and how we choose the various paths we take in life. For instance, my father was killed in a truck accident when I was five years old. I’m terrified when my husband has to travel by vehicle on business. But I let go and trust. When our older children got to driving age, my instinct was to sell our vehicles (my mom did that when I turned 16) and prevent them from driving.
But again, I let go and trusted.
Do I like letting go?
No!
Was it scary?
Yes, absolutely!
But it’s part of this parenting gig.
I wasn’t going to let my fears dictate which path our children would take. Although if you were to ask our children, there have been several times where I have been overly protective with regards to them driving with other parents, other teens, etc and that fear raised it’s ugly head. Hey, we can’t be perfectly brave all the time.
Trusting and letting go starts the moment our babies are born and continues as our children learn to walk, talk, and head in the direction of an independent life away from us.
Isn’t that what we want for them?….an independent life?
But hey….before our kids took off driving, we made sure they had professional driving instructors prepare them for the road ahead.
And in a way, that’s why we are choosing NOT to home-school. We feel that public school provides them with the experts in every field of study, who will teach them everything they need so they don’t crash in life.
Just like Darci, our oldest daughter had a lot to do with the education choices we made. Alyssa, arrived in March 1990, and was born with a congenital brain abnormality. She had an agenesis of the corpus callosum. When we were released from the high risk maternity hospital in Vancouver, where she was born a month early, our pediatric neuro-surgeon, told us there were no studies with regards to our daughter’s potential. He planned to follow her case and see her in the first year, but the last words he said to me on discharge were:
“take her home and treat her like normal.”
WHAT?
I’ve written about this experience in another post, so I won’t go into detail, but you can imagine, with that diagnoses hanging over our heads, the last thing we did was take her home and treat her like we hadn’t heard…missing corpus callosum.
Hence, my foray into the world of science and all it knew AT THE TIME, regarding stimulating brains.
AND this was BEFORE internet!
In every way Alyssa developed beautifully as a baby, but not having children before meant we didn’t know what was normal development. I was always waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Alyssa often calls herself the”experimental child,” but isn’t every first child that? In our case, not only were we ignorant regarding normal baby/child development, we didn’t have a clue what to expect from our child. It was a whole new world for us, and scary at times.
We, therefore decided to try a bit of everything to stimulate her brain and expose her to all sorts of learning situations. We will never know for sure but I believe all the years of swimming, piano, and Irish Dancing, played a large role in rewiring her brain. All that movement between the right and left hands/arms and feet stimulated the right and left part of her brain.
Alyssa the summer before Kindergarten when she was five. She was developing normally in every way
By the time Alyssa was ready for kindergarten, she had been exposed to a multitude of activities and experiences. At times, I felt like we were overwhelming her. She was a gentle and peaceful little girl, who quietly went along with our game plan. From early on, I knew some of her favourite moments were when we curled up together in bed at night, reading about fairies and make believe lands.
Alyssa on her first day of kindergarten in Sept 1995
We thought the sun rose and set on her and she was brilliant. But that diagnoses, lingered above us always. To us, every decision we made was generated from a place of moving her forward and helping her to reach her full potential.
If I had been a trained teacher, I may have contemplated keeping her at home but I knew others, some with masters in their fields, were waiting at the school and ready to teach her. How could I not provide the best education for her in every area of study. Also, the area where we lived (we are still here) had/has an excellent elementary and high school, with high academic success. Keep in mind too, this was twenty two years ago, home schooling wasn’t as big as it is now.
So with the decision made, we said goodbye, let go and trusted and she entered public school.
Alyssa waiting for the school bus with her little brother Clark. It’s not always easy going to school!
And she didn’t look back.
She THRIVED!
In kindergarten she met her best friend. Even though those girls have moved to different parts of the world, they remain BEST friends to this day. I often think, had I not put her in school, she would have missed out on having Brianna in her life.
Sadly, Brianna and her family moved to Mexico when they were in grade 5 but they kept in touch over the years and in the summers when her parents would return for a visit, the girls picked up exactly where they left off. Two years ago, Brianna married and Alyssa was her maid of honour. Soon she will have her first baby and I know who will be a special Auntie to this wee one.
Sometimes our friends, especially our girl friends, are as close as a sister would be and for years, Alyssa only had brothers so her friends were really important to her.
From left to right…Brianna, Alyssa, Ameila, and Maureen….Alyssa needed her girl friends with no sisters for many years…now she has three sisters although they are way younger than her
And by the time her little brother Clark was ready to start school, we were convinced school was working well for our family so we registered him too for public school. Alyssa set the tone. Clark was bright lad, an early reader, curious about everything, and educators recognized this quickly. He was placed in the high potential learning program early on, where further stimuli was provided to challenge him.
We did not however leave the education solely in our school’s hands. We feel that they can provide a well rounded base for our children but we wanted them to be further stimulated.
When Alyssa, and her subsequent siblings came home from school, and it’s something we still do today with our youngest children; we have a snack, we chat about our day and then the children go and spend about another hour to an hour and a half, working on their music, their math and any homework they have from school.
If you want to see how Canada’s education ranks in the world, check out this National Post article which ranks Canada number 7 . Great! but in the area of math, we still need to work harder….or smarter.
Here are a few tools I use daily to have our children practice their math skills.
We use the IXL math site, and the Xtramath program to stay on top of their basic math skills.
Also, if we are going to be out after school and there may be any waiting time between activities, I make sure to provide age appropriate material. I often print off a few of these math sheets which the children whip off quickly from the K5 learning site.
I know, I know, you would think they would learn enough math during the day but they don’t. Even though math is everywhere from telling time first thing in the morning, to baking with mom, to estimating how much snow fell overnight, it’s something we need to keep working on. Practice, practice, practice, is what I have found in creating success in math for our children.
After dinner, it’s bath and then we enjoy reading with our children, one on one and then we read in group settings. The little kids and I just finished reading, “Little House on the Prairie,” and now I’m reading, “Little Women,” to the twins. David and William cuddle together and are currently enjoying reading the “Harry Potter,” books.
Grace followed in her siblings footsteps by loving books….Alyssa used to say, “she’s a genius!” of her baby sister
In the summer we always have a family book on the go. I remember reading “Lord of the Flies,” and “To Kill a Mockingbird,” with our elementary age children and was happily surprised to realize they understood the underlining meaning of each book. You can never underestimate children’s ability to discern complex issues. Sometimes they get it easier than we do as adults. We complicate things and our judgments get in the way.
Clark far left with his battle of the books team…he should be smiling BIG…’cause they were the district champs, Alyssa also participated in the Battle of the Books competition and her team won for the district two consecutive years
So yeah, math and reading, ARE huge in our house.
The other decision we made early on was to ask our children to pick one physical, and one fine art activity, outside of their school hours. Although they often did more than that, as they were passionate about several things and didn’t want to give anything up. For instance, Mitchell loved cello and guitar so he had lessons in both, as well as being involved in a guitar group and the music school’s string orchestra. As if this wasn’t enough, he was also on the rep soccer team. This wasn’t uncommon for any of our children. They all learned to balance and time manage from an early age and several of them have told me that learning to do well in school, while juggling extra curricular activities, conditioned them to be able to take on a full course load at University, as well as working part time. Alyssa worked on her ARCT in piano while doing a full course load at University.
Alyssa is all smiles after a piano festival…here is a certificate for first class honours
Alyssa danced all through her childhood starting with ballet, tap and then she Irish Danced for eight years. I will miss watching her ringlets bounce to the an Irish Reel.
Above she is with a few of her Irish dancing group at a community event
Alyssa on piano, Clark on violin and Mitchell on cello…later Harrison would join them as the second violinist in a few years…here they are playing at a school event. The song was “peaceful day”….but practicing this piece had been nothing but…still good memories!!!
Over the years the kids were in various skiing programs but I think they still loved skiing together the best…except the year Alyssa hit and tree with her head and had to be taken off the mountain in an ambulance!
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If you are wondering how we as parents juggled it all, financially anyway, we had the mind set that there was no do over. Our thought was that our children would have one childhood only to explore their interests and passions and figure out what they loved, and we would have to be creative paying for it all. It’s interesting how when you commit to something, all sorts of material assistance comes your way. I also became a master at time management and organization. Some years, we were literally flying from activity to activity and we made a lot of financial sacrifices. It wasn’t easy living on one income and yes, there was stress some days but when we reevaluated with our children at the beginning of each school year what their goals are, those were the choices we made.
Mitchell juggled playing cello and guitar, and all sorts of sports. Above he’s holding an award from a cello festival and below, he’s trying out a new guitar…I miss hearing him play both
Achieving success in these areas, built self confidence and strong positive self esteem, for all of us.
An unexpected bonus to these extra activities were that our children developed deep and lasting relationships with some of their teachers and coaches. These were valuable mentors in our children’s lives. Life lessons were taught every day. For instance, when our oldest daughter was preparing for a piano festival one spring and starting to get really nervous about it, her teacher said these words,
“Alyssa, you have worked hard on these pieces and you are ready to perform them. What you need to do now is just relax and let the music out.”
We have been fortunate.
Grace graduating from preschool above. YES, I did think this was a bit much but it’s something they do at this preschool. She will graduate next from high school in 2021.
I understand why some parents choose to home-school their children so they can protect them from what could be perceived as negative experiences, such as bullying or peer pressure. Maybe they would prefer their children also aren’t exposed to ideas and concepts being taught that they may not agree with. But at some point we need to let go don’t we? At some point we need to let our children figure out how to manage in the world and also decide what ideas resonate within.
I believe it’s these moments in life, these negative, not feel great at the time moments, that teach our children the most. I WANT them to experience these too. How else are our children going to learn to cope in the world? These moments provide a rich opportunity for them to think about how they are feeling, make choices on how they will react, and how they are going to solve the problem, whether it be a bullying situation, or a social issue as a teen, or learning to advocate for themselves with a teacher.
We experienced that last one with our son Mitchell when he was 10 and 11. He had a grade 5 teacher who had a notorious reputation for being a strict, control hungry bully. We would have preferred that he be placed in a different class but our thought process at the beginning of the year was, “well, in life we have to learn to get along with all sorts of people.” It certainly was a year of growth and it had an ending that was unexpected.
Mitchell had good self esteem going into grade five and he was a straight A student. His teacher told him that he didn’t give anyone straight A’s out of principal, no matter how hard they worked…and Mitchell worked hard. His teacher was unfair, not respectful of the children and ranted on for what felt like hours to Mitchell about insignificant issues. He wanted to get on with learning.
One day Mitchell had enough when his teacher again was harshly critical of a classmate and he finally spoke up. The teacher was shocked that anyone would challenge him and a power struggle ensued. Mr. P fired back using intimidation and threats, but Mitchell kept calling him on his negative actions pointing out inequity. It was a rough time and at one point Mitchell came home telling me he had had enough. He wanted to be home-schooled. Believe me, I thought about it but in the end I’m glad that we encouraged him to hang in there.
We tried to talk to the teacher but he just denied his actions and blamed it all on an unruly class. Not getting anywhere with Mr. P. we had no choice but to take our concerns to the Principal, who I’m sure was aware of the nature of this teacher. Although this teacher had been at our school for years, he did not return the following fall and we never heard officially if our complaint prompted his removal. Many parents thanked us for stepping forward but it was really Mitchell.
Our sweet boy was always quick to recognize inequity and stand up for what was right
The point of all of this is our son learned a valuable lesson from a difficult public school situation. He learned that he could stand up and speak his truth. He also demonstrated to his classmates how you can do so respectfully and in the end make a difference.
Would I have liked for Mitchell to have had a better teacher that year.
YES!
BUT it taught me an important lesson too. That negative situations teach us more than we think and we shouldn’t be fearful of them. I have a rock that Mitchell painted that year that has the words, “respect,” “kindness,” and “hope,” on them. It a door stop in the summer time and as I whoosh in and out with my kids in my glory months, I’m reminded about a little boy’s courage and perseverance for justice.
If he hadn’t gone to school, he wouldn’t have had that in his education pocketbook.
Who knows when he will cash in on that experience.
As I write this post now, our first string, as our basketball loving son, Harrison, likes to call our first four kids, are out the door. They have now graduated and have moved off to University and beyond.
Grace, William, Kathryn, and Victoria are still on the court.
Our oldest daughter, Alyssa, graduated in 2008. She now has a bachelor’s degree in English and in Education. She was our first teacher and taught us how to be parents. She is now a qualified teacher, world traveler, writer, photographer, pianist, and so much more. She’s brilliant! (you are my sunshine and daddy’s sweet feet)
Our oldest son, Clark, graduated in 2011. He now has a Bachelor of Science Degree and plans to attend law school in the fall. Clark was given my surname, which means, “scholar,”which I find interesting as he is always on the quest towards learning. As a little blonde headed lad, he picked up every stick, rock, and bug for observation. He now teaches at our local Science Centre and encourages kids to ask hard questions and find the answers. (he was my little monkey..always curious)
Mitchell, graduated in 2014 and will obtain his Bachelor’s of Science Degree, majoring in Psychology, later this spring. Mitchell has always been a happy, looking for fun kid; wanting to try out everything. He’s also been the kids who has gone to the emergency room more than any of our other kids from all his sport related injuries. When he was little he had a commanding presence, and moved through his life knowing exactly what he wanted. When he was three years old and I was telling him to do something, he looked up at me and said, “you aren’t the boss of me.” Thank you for teaching me that I was only a caretaker of your body, until you could head out into the world on your own. You also taught us a lot about “respect, kindness and hope.” (you will always be my “bear”)
And that brings me to the end of our first string. Harrison, who won the most sportsmanlike award in basketball in grade 12. He learned a lot about being a good sport being the middle of our pack of kids. As a young child he always wanted us to play board games with us but would cry desperately if he lost. In high school though he learned a lot about the value of winning and losing during his years playing on the high school basket ball team. Our kid’s high school is well known for their strong academics but let’s just say, if you develop character more when you lose, then Harrison and all his basketball teammates are abundant in character, for they lost just about every game they played….okay, maybe not every game but it sure felt like it at times. Harrison graduated in 2017 and is currently attending his first year of Science at University, heavy to the business courses since he plans to claim that as his major in year three. One other thing I want to tell you about Harrison is that a few years ago, we got a new cherry red “LG” washing machine that played a jaunty tune when the cycle ended. When I would ask Harrison how his day went at school he would say, “LG Mom!” which translated meant, “life’s good!” Yes l’lil Piggie, life is good with you in it.
Before I close, I did want to say that our parenting started with a strong foundation and the belief that one parent should stay home. Also, we adopted an attachment- parent type of lifestyle, ie: breastfeeding, allowing self weaning, co-sleeping, wearing our babies, keeping them close and listening to their cues.
William in a rare moment where he wasn’t attached to me in his sling. The words above his head couldn’t be more true. “To our children we give two things, one is roots, the other is wings”
We found that by the time our children were ready for preschool/kindergarten, they had a good sense of trust and confidence and were ready and happy to head off to school. It’s our belief that when you provide a strong base for kids and maintain it throughout their childhood, it gives them the trust and confidence to explore their world.
Now I have to say that when William was about to start school, four years ago,I did revisit the idea of home-schooling. Interestingly enough, it was my fear that prevented me from doing so. Public school had worked for all our other children and I didn’t know if I could provide him with everything that he needed to be ready for life. He was intensely curious and extremely social and we felt that keeping him at home would limit him. I admire the families who do choose to home-school, because they are brave and in a way they are taking the roadless traveled, which I have always admired. I know that this can inspire the next generation of children to forge new avenues in life. Times are changing and this world needs the next generation to be free thinking and open to new ideas and ways of working in the world.
My final thought on the matter is:
Whatever choice we make for our children, as long as it comes from a place of love, it is the right one. ~Lee Reynolds~
I’d like to dedicate the following YouTube video, called, “Light~Sleeping at Last,” to my eight beautiful kids.
“I’ll will always hold you close, but I will learn to let you go.”
And now, as if this blog wasn’t full enough, I want to share my banana muffin recipe with you, which in my opinion, is the perfect snack to go along with a fruit smoothie when the kids come home from school.
The children took some of their muffins to share (more on the side) to their violin group class last Monday
Here are Will, Kate and Tori trying out my Banana muffins and a fruit smoothie which are a perfect after school snack
Hope’s Banana Muffins
Ingredients
3 large mashed, (ripe) bananas 3/4 cup brown sugar 1 slightly beaten eggs 1/3 cup coconut oil or margarine…melted 1 tsp baking soda 1 tsp baking powder 1/2 tsp salt 1 cup flour 1/2 cup oatmeal 1/2 cup unsweetened coconut
(Topping: walnuts, coconut and brown sugar)
In a large bowl, mash bananas. Add the sugar and beaten egg. Add the melted coconut or margarine. Mix well
Set aside. In a medium bowl, add all the dry ingredients and mix them well. Now add the dry ingredients to the wet ingredients. Stir until only just combined….do not over mix.
Spray muffin tins and fill with mixture, 3/4 to the top.
Top with a sprinkling of walnuts, coconut and brown sugar
Place in preheated oven at 375 degree for 15 to 20 minutes. I like mine only until the toothpick comes out clean…the aroma in the kitchen as they are cooking is delectable!!!
Enjoy.
Thank you for coming to visit today.
Until we meet again, may you be well, happy and peaceful.
What does the wisdom of Gandalf, blessing today and carrot muffins have in common? Well hang in there and I will try to tie them all together. I’m sorry that I haven’t been writing more on my blog. I have been rather depressed since Christmas. Ever since everyone went back to their own lives full of wonderful experiences and interesting activities. I’ve also been sad over the state of our world.
On a personal note:
Our oldest daughter, Alyssa, (also a passionate LOTR fan…for those of you who are not, that stands for the “Lord of the Rings” which are books written by J. R.R. Tolkien) is back living and working in Victoria as a teacher and a writer. (Check out her latest post on her blog, A.R. Reynolds)
Our oldest son, Clark is working at our local Science Center and patiently waiting for law schools to knock on our door. Fingers crossed that he will be returning to school in the fall; not that I’m in any hurry for him to leave home but I know the next chapter of his life is beckoning.
Our son Mitchell, who just turned twenty two yesterday, (Happy Birthday dearest son) is in his last year of Science at the University of Victoria, and later this Spring he will graduate with his bachelor’s degree. Who knows where he will go with his Science/Psychology degree but there is a need for mental health professionals in Canada ( in the world really) right now, so I’m sure he will find this an exciting and flourishing field to continue to study, or work in.
Our third son, Harrison, who just turned 19 before Christmas, is in his first year of University and he seems to be handling a full course load of Science/business courses. I never hear from him so I know he’s staying busy with school. When I run into his friends, some who have remained in our little town to attend our local University, they tell me that from the snap chats he sends out, “he’s having a very good time away from home!”
Hmmmm…..a mom letting go moment here. I’m happy you are enjoying University life Harry.
Grace, who just turned 15, is probably the busiest of us all. While maintaining straight A’s in school, she is also working on her grade 9 piano, her grade 7 voice, she has a voice festival coming up, sings in the school choir, and plays on the school basketball team. The later came TOTALLY out of left field, when she told us back in November, that she was going to try out for the junior girl’s team. (never having played before!!!) Shockingly, she is following in her older brother Harrison’s footsteps with adept ability. During their last tournament she won, “most valuable player,”and was given a t-shirt/Gatorade as a prize. She strongly played her post position, made several baskets, including two back to back free throws and assisted numerous times. Who knew? (Goes to show we all have unknown talents and gifts)
Our son William who is eight, is no couch potato either. He plays cello, and is involved in the group string orchestra at our local music school. He is also swimming in our local swim clubs “grassroots program.” Last night he came home smiling and waving an upcoming swim meet registration form. He also enjoys being a part of the chess club at school.
Finally there are our twin daughters, Kathryn and Victoria. For six year olds, they are busy in their own right, learning to play piano and violin. Next week they have been invited to join the beginner violin group at our music school.Although we didn’t register them for another round of swimming and skating lessons, which they were doing all fall, (me smiling as that was a bit much) we have been getting them out to skate at our new and improved outdoor skating rink. I think they like it even better than lessons as they can free skate, doing whatever they want while racing their Dad and older brother Will. (Next time I’m joining them)
Kathryn
Victoria
Then there is my husband David, who doesn’t share much about his work except to say, “more projects have been pouring in,” with a grin on his face. I guess that is why he heads out the door to get to the office for 7 am each morning
David, truly my better half
So you see, everyone is busy with their own lives.
Then there is me.
I’ve kind of been floundering since the twins started grade one last September. I think I understand one aspect towards parents who choose home-schooling. It’s really a delight keeping them close and watching them learn and grow. I truly admire these families.I’ve been asked a few times lately if I home-school our children and I think I will write about our education choices in a future post and perhaps give you some links to tools and resources we use to support our children’s learning but for now suffice it to say—-
AFTER I waved goodbye to the little ones, who took the bus this morning, I decided that I HAD to break the monotony of my daily routine.
As you can see from the distant hillsides, we still have tons of snow
OR I was going to go crazy!!!
INSTEAD of coming in and cleaning up the kitchen, which was a MESS from a whirlwind morning of cooking oatmeal, making a fruit smoothie, and making lunches, (yes I should have made them last night), picking up bathroom towels and pj’s off the floor, throwing my first load of laundry in for the day, unloading last nights dishes from the dishwasher, gathering up garbage from everyone’s bedroom, and making beds; that is just a snippet glimpse into my morning routine,
I chose to feed the cat, not really a choice since he was loudly meowing that he was hungry, AND I took the chickens their breakfasts. (those chickens eat better than most people in the world, just saying) After that, I disregarded the mess and made a BIG cup of black tea, with a splash of vanilla unsweetened almond milk, took a bowl of leftover oatmeal, and headed back to bed.
I never do this!!!
Take the gentle path. ~ George Herbert~
Nope!
That has not been my path………
My oldest sister B often says to me, “be gentle on yourself.” I don’t know if she meant for me to crawl back into bed after the kids left for school but I know when she says this, she means she wants me to take life easier.
That is not in my DNA!
For some reason, the mantra I hear lingering years after my Dad died, when I was five years old is:
“Work hard!”
But…..
I think there is great wisdom in my oldest sister’s words. Thanks B! I wished I listened to them more.
But today, I’m all ears.
I am here, laptop in hand, sipping comforting tea, eating oatmeal loaded with nuts, seeds and fruit, and cuddled under my cozy comforter. Ryuuki, our Siamese cat is doing his front paw kneading routine, getting ready to curl up for a good sleep. He looks at me with his big blue eyes and says, “it’s about time you joined me in the good life.”
Ryuuki is a good teacher how to live life gently.
We should all listen to our big sisters, and our pets.
With their hateful words and actions, they draw us closer towards midnight on the doomsday clock. Thanks to these two leaders, (can they be called that???”) a panel of scientists and scholars said just yesterday that the world is as close as it has ever been to a so-called doomsday scenario. A nuclear war which will end life as we know it on earth. For some reason, I think about the Lord of the Rings trilogy set in J. R. R. Tolkien’s Middle Earth, when I read or hear any news about Trump and the Korean Dictator. At times, it’s so bizarre that it feels like a fictional nightmare. But this is really happening on our earth right now.
I try to look away but then my crystal ball shows me an image of my children. Small and sweet like the hobbits in the LOTR’s. William’s laughter is light and tinkling and his eyes shine with joy, and the little girls respond with giggles of mirth. Their images replace Trump and Kim Jong-un and the doomsday clock. I can see our children playing music together and hear the harmony flowing out of the ball and into the world.
Clark playing violin with his little sisters, Kate on the left and Tori on the right
And I wonder, how can a depressed, middle age mom, help to change the world, when I don’t even have the energy to clean the house today. How can I shift the darkness that hovers over my heart, over our planet, and threatens to invade my home? As I asked these questions of myself, I thought of the words of Gandalf.
“It is the small everyday deeds of ordinary folks that keep the darkness at bay. Small acts of kindness and love.”
And that is where my small acts of kindness and love come in….and I start to tie in the whole blessing aspect of my post.
“Bless a thing and it will bless you. Curse it and it will curse you…if you bless a situation,it has no power to hurt you, and even if it is troublesome for a time, it will gradually fade out, if you sincerely bless it.” ~Emmet Fox~
Blessing the circumstances we are living with in the world, is our pathway to changing it. Accepting the situation and WHAT IS, doesn’t mean we are complacent towards it. No! But it is the first step in the path towards moving forward and changing our circumstance.
In my own personal life, things are changing. My children are growing up and moving out into the world. They don’t need me quite as much. That’s a good thing. That means David and I are raising strong independent people. This is a blessing. Lately, I’ve been thinking about getting back into the work force but when I think about trying to balance everything again; work and home life, I cringe.
Is that the right path for me”
After seeing two career opportunities that interested me recently, both of which I’m qualified for, I shared my thoughts with my husband. He looked at me for a long time, contemplating my words and my desire to move down a new path but after what felt like a long time, he said,
“You underestimate your value in our home.”
Huh?
He further went on to say that everything I did at home, enabled everyone else to accomplish great things.
Wow!
I do that!
Really?
As I was in the kitchen pouring a second cup of steaming tea just now, I dropped the job ads in the recycling bin. I must admit January is a slow month. I need more sunshine. Also, I know my garden will be calling to me in a short while. I have great plans for expanding our vegetable garden. Adding a few more chickens to our flock and maybe planting a mini grape vineyard. Once spring comes, David and I will be working on our second rock wall above the pool and getting it planted. In the meantime, we have to finish the attic renovation before Harrison returns in late April. And then there is always the opportunity to work at my gardening gig from late April to mid June. My boss did invite me back at the end of last season.
There is a lot to bless today.
I sit up a bit straighter in bed, that dark ball slips further from my fingertips. And yet, that heaviness holds on like a tight strap around my heart, squeezing any happiness I may feel.
I know I’m not the only one feeling this way.
Judging from all the protest marches occurring in the States, and various places around the world, I’m not alone in wanting positive change in the world.
But what can I do about it?
So many questions….
And then something I heard recently on the CBC radio hits me. I wish I could remember the name of the guest speaker, but I was driving at the time and I couldn’t write his name down. He was a spiritual teacher who said, there is power in sending a different message out into the world. One most people wouldn’t think of but has tremendous power.
Loving kindness
Hmmmm.
During that CBC radio segment, seeds were planted in my heart and I know that by taking the time to be gentle on myself today, it loosened the straps of darkness holding me hostage. Although, I’m personally not in a place to send loving kindness to men who move through the world as ego, power hungry lunatics, I AM willing to send them a blessing.
A blessing of kindness.
If I really want to be about helping our planet earth, then it starts from a place of accepting these men are in power, understanding that we are on the brink of a pending apocalyptic event, and fear and hatred is not an effective emotion right now. These feelings never solved anything.
Blessing others and sending loving kindness is the answer. And if enough of us take a moment to bless our earth and all that is happening within it, and especially those who vex us, I know this is the key to the positive change I want to see in the world.
Who knew that the most effective form of protest was a blessing.
This is where I need to be right now.
My family needs me at home…even if I am in bed writing this morning.
Maybe it’s the way out of my depression too.
There is GREAT wisdom in choosing to take a gentle path in life. Maybe more of us need to cuddle up in bed with our cat or puppy by our side, sipping hot comforting tea. I’m blessed to have this option. But most of us can incorporate some kindness towards ourselves into our day.
No matter what path we are on, we need to take gentle steps. Steps that aren’t fraught with rocks, easing ourselves towards more joy, more kindness, and definitely more love.
Bless today!
And what does all of this have to do with Carrot muffins you may ask. When we bless our day and those in it, we bless what is. We accept our circumstances and in doing so there is a exhale of surrender. We let go. And with that letting go moment, trust whooshes in. You know that saying that the Universe can’t abide a void. When we let go, trust flows into our life and goodness follows it.
And like the law of attraction, when we live in a state of goodness, we attract more of it into our lives.
Goodness comes!
And THAT is where the carrot muffins come in.
My Goodness!
Because after a morning of writing, sipping tea, and generally, being kind to me, I filled my cup up. I’m able to give back. I’m able to send blessings out to the world and particularly to two men that I feel need a whopping bowlful of it for how they have been behaving. And for my family, well, when my kids come home from school this afternoon, they are going to smell warm spices wafting out of our kitchen and find a large red plate loaded with carrot muffins waiting JUST for them.
Yes, as Mother Teresa said, “I can do no great things, only small things with great love.” And so today, I can write about being sad, about blessing my situation, about blessing those who vex us, and about moving in the direction towards change with an expectation for only goodness.When we send love out, we are really loving ourselves.
Because if I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times; “We ARE, all connected!”
Please join me in a sec in my kitchen and we can make some muffins. I need to get up now, bath and get my house whipped into shape. Gee, who knew I would have so much energy after a morning in bed! While we bake let’s listen to the following YouTube video. As I was writing this post and talking about the spiritual leader I heard on CBC earlier this month, I remembered an email I got from my sister C. (I know, I’m blessed to have THREE wise and gorgeous sisters) Anyway, I guess the Universe REALLY wanted me to get this message. The link to the YouTube video she sent is a guided loving meditation from Ajahn Sona, who I met many years ago during a weekend retreat at the Birken Monastery.
No matter what your beliefs or faith, when you come from a place of love, there is great healing.
The first time I listened to Ajahn Sona’s video and sang along with him, “All I ask of you is forever to remember me, as loving you,” I cried and cried. Tears just flowed. I was thinking about my mom, my dad, about my sisters and their families. I thought about each of our children and hoped that they ALL know, that if I said nothing else to them in this lifetime, that they hear THESE words, from me. It”s such a healing message. Then as I said these words to my loved ones, I was hearing them say these words back to me.
My sister C, I heard you gently singing them to me. Thank you!!!
And get ready to sing, and cry……if you can’t see the video below, click on the hyper-link.
I know I wove in and out of various topics today in this post, but if you remember nothing more, remember my love for you and my intention to contribute to the world in a loving way. As always, I’d love to hear from you. If you are unable to comment directly on this blog, you can always send me a message on my Facebook page.
Love is where it’s at people~the rest is just filler.
And speaking of filler…..here is my carrot muffin recipe.Let’s bake!
Hope’s Homestead Carrot Muffins
Ingredients
2 eggs
1 cup of carrot/apple pulp (when I made my juice yesterday I saved the pulp but if you don’t have any pulp from left over juicing use 1 cup of applesauce instead)
1/2 cup applesauce
1/2 vegetable oil
1/2 cup white sugar
1 cup brown sugar
1 tsp vanilla
1/2 cup vanilla unsweetened almond milk
2 cups flour (I like to use 1 cup whole wheat/1 cup white flour…using just wheat makes it heavy)
1/2 cup oatmeal
1 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
2 cups of grated carrots
Topping Ingredients
1/2 cup brown sugar
1 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp nutmeg
1/4 allspice
1/2 cup chopped walnuts
Directions
In a medium bowl mix the 2 eggs, 1 cup of carrot/apple pulp and/or 1/2 cup applesauce, 1/2 cup oil, 1 tsp vanilla, 1/2 cup almond milk and 2 cups of grated carrots.
In a large bowl mix the 2 cups of flour, the 1/2 cup oatmeal, 1 cup of brown sugar, 1/2 cup of white sugar, 1 tsp baking powder, 1/2 tsp baking soda, 1/2 tsp salt and the spices. (1 tsp cinnamon, 1/2 tsp nutmeg, 1/4 tsp allspice)
Mix the wet ingredients into the dry ingredients but only until just combined. Over mixing will create a heavy muffin….and we want light muffins with nice texture
Place into greased muffin tins…..I fill to the top as I like big muffins. This recipe makes 18 nice size muffins.
Sprinkle the topping, sugar, spices and walnuts on top of each muffin.
Bake at 375 degrees for 15 minutes to 20 minutes…or until a toothpick comes out clean.
Cool slightly and then turn onto a cookie rack to cool….but only long enough to EAT!
A couple muffins for me to go along with my tea…while I edit this post
And a plate waiting for the kids to come home
As you munch on muffins, I hope you contemplate how you can take a gentle path. And as you move through your day, say your blessings.
Blessed be my blogging family!
Until we meet again, may you be well, peaceful and happy.
“New Year’s Day. A fresh start. A new chapter in life waiting to be written. New questions to be asked, embraced and loved. Answers to be discovered and then lived in this transformative year of delight and self-discovery. Today, carve out a quiet interlude for yourself in which to dream, pen in hand. Only dreams give birth to change.” ~Sarah Ban Breathnach~
Happy New Year!
It’s taking me a bit of time to get rolling this year. Our holiday celebrations took a toll on me. I thought I was doing amazing. The house was sparkling, (and decluttered!!!) the tree and Christmas decorations were up, most of my baking was done, and all the presents were wrapped and hidden safely away from curious little ones asking questions like, “is Santa real?” and “how does he get through the glass that covers our gas fireplace?”
I was pretty proud of myself. We got this Grand Fir and the huge poinsettia that’s in the living room with points from the Super Store. Little things like that really helped so we could stretch our dollars at Christmas time.
Then on the Thursday before Christmas, during our twin daughter’s violin recital, I started to feel hot and dizzy. That was the beginning. Even though I pushed through the few next days, buying a horde of groceries on Friday and then on Saturday doing all the final things to ready our house for our returning, out of town children, I knew some kind of virus was taken me hostage.
Victoria before the December recital
Kathryn a bit before the recital…the recital when I started to feel ill…..but the concert was GREAT!
And sure enough, as Christmas loomed, a roaring headache took hold, my body was feverish and I started to cough. I had contracted a respiratory flu virus. I think I could even trace the moment it flew into my mouth. The weeks before Christmas, our three youngest took turns being sick and one evening, as I was reading with Victoria, she turned to me and coughed right in my face. In slow motion, I could feel the invisible virus laughing and jeering at me. I think I may have staved off the illness too as my immune system has been really strong but in December I was burning the candle pretty low, and it pushed myself beyond even my limits.
And those limits are far.
I have built a strong endurance muscle over the years. I think a lot of women with large families have this muscle. It’s called, “if you don’t do it, it won’t get done.”
Since I have three Christmas babies, (Clark born on Dec 20th, Harrison born on the 19th, and Grace was born on Dec 5th. She was actually due on the 18th. Can you imagine having children’s birthday’s on the 18th, 19th, and 20th and then doing Christmas!!! Thankfully she arrived a few weeks early. Suffice it to say, I have had a few holiday seasons were I was nursing a newborn, throwing birthday parties, caring for older children, buying and wrapping presents and then stuffing and cooking the turkey; WITHOUT ANY HELP..
Yeah so my limits and ability to get through difficult times are tremendous.
But this year, that virus really took the edge off things.
Being sick while trying to push through teaches valuable lessons. That there are times in life when you have to really listen to your body, slow down and do just what needs doing.And sometimes you have to ask for help.
Hmmmm, imagine that….asking for help.
There is a certain sense of strength that comes after pushing through a tough time and finding yourself on the other side. But being able to ask for help teaches us to be humble enough to realize that we can’t always do it all.
And it’s okay.
Somehow I made it through the holidays. On Dec 23rd, I had to ask my oldest son to cook the rib roast and pull together dinner and he did an amazing job. On Dec 24th, Alyssa and Grace iced the dozens of gingerbread and sugar cookies I had made. Even Will trudged through the deep snow and fed the chickens a few times.
As Alyssa was combing through her books and belongings and deciding what to take back to her new home, she tossed me a book that she had already read.
And while I have not read this book…yet…. I thought it was pretty remarkable that our oldest daughter, who is just in her 20’s, has already contemplated something that I have taken a lifetime to learn. Maybe we do build our own endurance muscles when we do it ourselves. I know Alyssa certainly has since she picked herself up and flew off to London to teach for two years without hardly knowing a soul. She had to move several times, schlepping her suitcases onto buses and trains and got herself all over London on various teaching assignments.
There are times in our life when we push our limits and build our muscles and there are times when we hit a wall and have to ask for help. She learned that when she was over on the other side of the world she could rely on herself but she also knew that having a support system of friends in place was crucial if she needed to ask for her. I remember in one instance, her apartment flooded and she needed to find a place to stay and her friends were there for her.
Anyway, aren’t our children sometimes our BEST teachers?
The holidays glittered in so many ways.
We made wonderful memories. We had a lot of laughs. We had some delicious food and drinks. With our children growing older, I realize that they can help and have strong muscles too. If you never ask, you will never receive and so part of the joy of this holiday was receiving. Our older ones were more than happy to help me and even our younger ones, built a bit of muscle too. We realized that being a family means helping each other, especially when times are tough.
When mom is sick.
William is learning to play chess at school and got a chess set for Christmas….not this one….his new one is in a lovely wooden box and actually has other games included with it.
On Christmas night the kid’s put on a Christmas concert for us. William literally lights our family up with joy….I’m so glad that we pursued having our last four children. It wasn’t easy, and we certainly didn’t have support of our family and friends. Our society also doesn’t value large families and certainly having them later in life is frowned upon. But when you are writing your own story, you need to listen from within and follow your heart. JOY COMES…and in our case, it came in the form of a beautiful boy named Will. And before him we were given a piece of Grace when our daughter Grace Eliabeth arrived in time for Christmas 2002. Then in 2011 we were given a miracle and a reminder that hope is the key when Kathryn Mira and Victoria Hope were born. So Grace, Joy, Miracle and Hope are present each holiday now.
This is our son Harrison’s 1st plate of food on Christmas…..hey, where’s the ambrosia? Each one of the kids were in charge of a certain part of dinner….it was a family affair.
That was the real magic in the air this year….along with my barking cough.
Alyssa took some wonderful pictures with the old Canon camera we gave her many Christmases ago…….and here are just a few of our Christmas memories.
Kathryn and Victoria are 6 this holiday and always have each other’s back. They are the BEST of friends
Grace just turned 15 and has been one busy girl this year. She is working on her grade 9 RCM piano level, working on her grade 7 in voice, sings in the school choir, andt completed her bronze cross in swimming. For some reason she didn’t think she was busy enough so she signed up for Junior girls basketball team. As I type this she is leaving for a tournament out of town.She laughs when she hears about what most teenagers are flipping out about….boys, or social stuff. The typical teenage drama doesn’t faze her. She recently told me that she thinks focusing on her extra curricular activities and getting straight A’s in school is keeping it real.
Alyssa and Grace are almost 13 years apart, like my oldest sister and I, and like B and I, they too are the best of friends. They share many of the same interests. Piano, swimming, and over Christmas they enjoyed just hanging out, baking, icing cookies, and they even spent a bit of time in our Hobbit’s hollow crawl space where they caught up on a few of their fav Netflix shows….”Stranger Things,” being one of them.
Harrison was happy to be home and eat food this Christmas. He says the food at the University is not always the greatest….and he really missed his friends as well and spent a lot of time catching up and, ahem….partying…but hey, he just turned 19 he’s legal to drink now. One of the gifts he got for his birthday before Christmas was a small bar fridge for his residence room. Hopefully now he can get a few healthy snacks to supplement those cafeteria meals.
Mitchell is going to be finishing his Science (Psychology major) degree in a few months. I found it rather funny that considering he works part time at the downtown Victoria, “Serious Coffee,” that he wasn’t sick of the stuff….but over Christmas he could often be found with a mug in his hand. He’s such a cool guy and so fun to be with. He tells the greatest stories too and has a very interesting perspective on life….an old soul for sure!
Our oldest son Clark just turned 25 before Christmas and really enjoyed hanging out with the family and seeing friends over the holidays.He can always be counted on to shovel the drive=way, help out with the little ones and amazingly….he learned to make a wicked rib roast dinner…the BEST I’ve ever tasted and I’m not much of a beef eater.
The little kids love hanging out with their big brother. Clark helps the little girls with their violin, and he sometimes reads in animated voices to William…..I loved hearing him read Harry Potter to him before Christmas. The BEST is when he comes home with treats after a day that he has worked at the Science Centre. The one sad thing about having a large family is often the older kids are out of the door while the little ones are growing up but it’s been nice that Clark could attend University in the Okanagan and continue to share in his little siblings daily life. What a great bond and many memories they have shared together. After Clark’s personal pictures were taken, I asked the kids if they wanted a picture with their big bro and they flew to be at his side with big smiles on their faces.
Alyssa told me that when she returned to Victoria after Christmas, a remarkable thing happened. It felt like she was going home. After years of traveling back and forth to University, and then her two years teaching and adventuring in the U.K. she is happy to settle down and find a cool groove where she can teach and write….and yes travel. Sometimes you have to leave home and experience elsewhere to realize REAL home feels like to you. We are so glad you found your place by the sea Alyse….and now we can visit!!!
Honestly, I felt like death warmed over in this picture but somehow David and I pulled off another Christmas with our family
And I give you the Reynolds family Christmas 2017….thanks for pulling the pictures together Alyssa!
My husband David was his usual super dad self. He drove to the coast and back on the 23rd, picking up the kids from the Vancouver Island ferry terminal. He swung by Ikea to pick up a new mattress for the attic we have been renovating. Then to top things off, over the Christmas holiday, he made our oldest daughter a few furniture pieces for her new digs by the ocean in Victoria. And finally, he took the kids back on New Year’s day. Driving them home all the way to Vancouver Island in one day. Getting them food at Costco the next day and returning back to the Okanagan in time to return to work on Jan 3rd!
Alyssa was given an espresso machine and coffee maker for Christmas but of course now David had to make her a beverage table for her new appliances. He used this cool grey barn wood for the top and the lower shelf and painted the legs etc all black….it was so amazing! I WANT ONE! (what a trooper ’cause the garage was FREEZING!!!)
Alyssa took a ton of books back with her and of course, if you give a mouse a cookie…she needs a bookcase to go with all those books…here is her new bookcase in calla lilly white with a beadboard backing…very old school and perfect for her blue, white and grey decor at her oceanside place in Victoria
Okay and if the beverage table and the bookcase weren’t enough, our birch tree is dying so David used some of the old wood to make her a lamp for her bedroom. This birch tree was planted when Alyssa was just a little girl so there is some history there and a nice piece to take back to Victoria…..I’m going to get David to make more of these lamps for the other kids….I think it’s neat for them to have something off the our property….and a memory from Lakelin Reach, our homestead
AMAZING Man!
And woodwork talent must run in the family since William, Kathryn and Victoria, made these cute barn board snow men for their Christmas gifts for us….these are keepers!!! Thank you to their wonderful school teachers. They are so blessed to have the BEST teachers in the world.
And just so we don’t forget, Christmas 2017 was very snowy. Thanks to our three strong sons, they kept the driveway clear
So Alyssa, our oldest is back to her high school English gig in Victoria, our son’s Mitchell and Harrison are back to the University of Victoria, and all the younger ones are back to school. Clark our oldest son did his second LSAT before Christmas and he just found out that he did extremely well. He received a 166, which is in the 93rd percentile, so Whoo hoo! a little celebration happy dance happening here. I know he would tell me to knock on wood, but hopefully he will be accepted to law school next fall, and as his best friend who is already in his 2nd year of law said, he would be absolutely shocked if he didn’t get in with that kind of score. Time will tell but that is exciting news for the new year. Maybe all those debates we had will finally pay off! Great work Clark!
So life is humming along here to a degree. Although if I’m being truly honest, I’m a bit bummed. Today my writing group started a new workshop session and I will not be attending.
BUMMER!
I knew it might me iffy, since despite being really careful and choosing the best, most useful gifts for our children at Christmas, we did go a bit overboard. Then there was the expense of bringing them all home and getting them back with food in their cupboards.
And to top it off, during the trip to he Island, even though David was driving extremely carefully in the snowy, winter conditions, a car flew by them and a large rock flew up and shattered our sun roof on our van. Have you ever heard of such a thing? Well, thank heavens no one was hurt and the impact didn’t startle David to lose control of the van and crash, but well, in the end that was an expense we hadn’t counted on. Interestingly enough the deductible we have to pay is exactly the same amount as my writing workshop fee.
Isn’t it interesting how that works out!
How life gives you choices and you have to pick a path.
Hence, I’m at home writing, instead of sequestered with my writing mentor and buds this morning.
BUMMER!
I was really looking forward to digging deeper with my group and getting some meaningful writing accomplished in the next three months. As I was straightening up the house after the kids went to school this morning, I was kind of depressed that I wasn’t getting ready to head off to join the group. How in the heck am I going to get my book finished if I don’t have the guidance and support of my group of cohorts.
And then I gave myself a kick in the butt.
“No pessimist ever discovered the secrets of the stars, or sailed to an uncharted land, or opened a new heaven to the human spirit.” ~Helen Keller~
Or wrote a book!
And with that quote in mind, I realized that as marvelous as my writing group is, as inspiring as my mentor L is, nothing can prevent me from writing what is often bursting from my soul. Unless I allow depression and pessimism to take hold.
This is a new year, a new chapter in my life and I can write whatever I want in my book. And damn, by the rich smell of my life’s compost, this will be a fertile year. Not just for my writing, but for us finishing up the attic renovation, the second wall above the pool, and more garden space built in the back forty.
“When you lay the seeds of your dreams in the rich hummus of optimism, abundance grows.” ~Lee Reynolds~
We are due to have another dump of snow in the next day or so and while we are still hibernating indoors to a large degree. This is a good time to get some words written, some borscht soup made, and print out the goals I want to accomplish this year.
How about you? Have you written the first few lines of your new chapter?
This is my latest mantra. A mantra that my Traditional Chinese Medical doctor used to say to me before my acupuncture sessions years ago, when I was trying to till the fertile soil of my body so we could conceive another baby…..as it turns out….our William….. And that mantra is:
“This is a new day!”
How do you want to live it?
Maybe reading a book, or making my Pumpkin Roll cake below. If you are spending a lot of time tucked under a quilt like me this winter, I’d love to share a whimsical novel I read over the holidays. If you enjoy a bit of fantasy, you are a homesteading fan, and love children or yearn for them, (and if you are a reader of my blog, I imagine some of that interests you) then you probably will enjoy this beautifully, lyrical book.
I hope you love it as much as I did. And now for my sister B’s recipe for: Auntie Bonnie’s Pumpkin Roll Cake
She gave this to me years ago and my kids love it. It’s super easy too so I don’t know why we don’t make it more often. Okay without further ado, here it is.
Ingredients 3 eggs 1 cup of granulated sugar 2/3 of a cup of canned pumpkin 1 tsp lemon juice 3/4 cups all purpose flour 1 tsp baking powder 2 tsp cinnamon 1 tsp ginger 1 tsp nutmeg 1/2 tsp salt Filling Ingredients 6 ounces of cream cheese 1 cup powdered icing sugar 4 tbsp of butter 1/2 tsp vanilla Instructions Beat 3 eggs on high speed of mixer for 5 minutes; gradually beat in 1 cup of granulated sugar. Stir 2/3 cup canned pumpkin and 1 tsp lemon juice. Stir together 3/4 cup of flour, 1 tsp baking powder, 2 tsp cinnamon, 1 tsp ginger, 1 tsp nutmeg, and 1/2 tsp salt. Fold into pumpkin mixture Spread on greased and floured 15x10x1 inch pan. Top with 1 cup of finely chopped walnuts Bake at 375 F degrees for 15 minutes. Turn onto a towel that is sprinkled with powdered sugar. Starting at the narrow end, roll the towel and cake together; Cool Unroll. for filling combine 1 cup of powdered sugar, 6 ounces of creamed cheese, 4 tbsp of butter, or margarine, and 1/2 tsp vanilla; beat until smooth. Spread evenly over the cake; Roll; chill; slice and serve…..makes enough for a large family of 10….US! Perfect!
I whipped this up while I was still feeling very under the weather but boy was it good!
This is a lovely, light dessert, absolutely perfect after a winter dinner….or even after a light soup, salad and bun dinner. The spices are yummy and so warming. Absolutely perfect to take and share during a winter potluck.
Enjoy!!!
As the new year unfolds, I hope you open to the idea of writing the first pages of your 2018 book with optimism and joy. Let it be one that you can look back, turn the pages and smile.
Write it well.
And remember, today is a new day and anything is possible.
If you can’t see the link above, check out the Celine Dion song, “A New Day.” I remember hearing that this song meant a lot to her as she went through a lot of pain and struggle to have her first son. When he finally born, it felt like a new day had come. I can relate as you know, that was a mantra that I used when we were trying to conceive and it gave me hope daily that each day holds new possibilities in our life.
Until we meet again, may you be well, happy and peaceful.
Our valley has once again been covered in a sparkling, blanket of white. Driving my kids to school this morning, I uttered the words I have said several times in the last two days. “Isn’t it breathtaking?”
It’s so stunningly, beautiful, it makes me cry.
As I write this post, it’s snowing again lightly. You can’t even see the lake below our house. Magical!
Although winter has it’s draw backs in many cases; the biting cold and it took us longer to get going yesterday morning, as both David and I had to clear the drive way, but what it brings to my life is well worth it.
We are forced to slow down a bit more, take our time as we move out into the world. In that pace, a beacon of light shines into my soul and insights often occur. They are light houses, guiding me safely on my journey. Inspiring me to keep going.
As the snow lightly fell as I was shoveling yesterday, I was thinking how each of us is like a precious snowflake; unique and stunningly beautiful. We have the ability to change the world by the choices we make every day. And yet, many of us squander that time. We rush around with our to do lists running through our heads like a chiming mantra.
Do we feel joy?
Do we feel peace?
Do we feel hope?
and most important of all…..
Do we feel love?
I can tell you the answer to that, at least from my perspective, and that is a resounding, “NO!”
While this is a magical time of year in so many ways, many of us are driven by the lists running in our heads. We are stressed and burnt out. We get sick easier, as we are not sleeping long enough to get a good rest. We are generally feeling unwell. It’s like a vicious circle that keeps us down.
One of my sons, dealing with University exams and deadlines, was recently finding the stress debilitating. When he would call me in a panic, I would simply remind him to fill his lungs deeply and slow down to get grounded.
Stop and
BREATHE!
Are exams life and death?
Let’s put things in perspective here.
We have a choice how we want to feel.
We have a choice how we impact the world around us too.
The other day when I was walking around the grocery store, list in hand, trying to get out as fast as I could so I could pick up the kids from school, I saw a neighbour in the produce department. I think she saw me too out of the corner of her eye and she quickly moved on…. probably with a similar list in hand. Just as well, I thought as I moved into the bread section, as I can get out of here more quickly.
Then we literally ran into each other in the dairy section. We had to STOP and talk to each other. I’m so glad too as that short little, sweet interlude, catching up on each other’s lives; each other’s Christmas holiday happenings,propelled me forward, reminding me why we are on this planet together.
We are here to support each other and make life more pleasant. I left the store with a smile on my face and I hope she felt some warmth too.
We can make a difference in each other’s lives by caring about each other, by smiling and giving a hug, by wishing each other all the best in life, not just at this holiday time, but ALL year through.
My kids get this. They don’t move through their days with lists in their heads or their hands. Nope…but if there was a list running through their little brains, its would be for them to experience
fun,
fun
and
more FUN!
And they are naturally kind too. They don’t need to slow down because they are already at a perfect, in sync pace with the world. They live in the moment. They breathe deeply. They laugh from the belly, and they hug without restraint.
Huh!
I can take a few lessons from them….oh and dogs and cats are good at teaching life lessons too.
So I hope that you are able to take a moment this holiday season.
STOP!
be still,
listen to the silence
and
BREATHE!
Chat with a neighbour, hug a child, sit with a pet.
Listen to the bells of silence,
They are ringing with magic.
Let it resonate deep into your soul.
Let the beauty of the season make you weep.
Rejoice.
This life is so precious.
You are so precious!
And speaking of magic…..I want to share my whipped shortbread with you. Yes, they are magic in a little cookie. I got this recipe from an dear, dear, co-worker, Elaine, years ago. She gave it to me when I was in my twenties and I’ve been making it every year since.
Now it is part of our Christmas tradition. Each time I make it, I think of Elaine and smile.
If you don’t have a great shortbread recipe, let this be part of your tradition too. Plus……it’s so easy!
Last night, I stayed up late making these cookies and watching, “It’s a Wonderful Life.” “Yawn!”, but it was worth it. This movie is also a yearly tradition. It reminds me how deeply each of us touch each other. Instead of giving gift cards to our children’s teachers this year, we decided to give them a piece of our Christmas tradition….a tin of these cookies and some tea and a little snowflake ornament, reminding them how unique they are.
I hope you try making these cookies and years to come, and as you make them, you will think of Hope and smile.
Hope’s Whipped Shortbread Cookies
Ingredients
1 lb of unsalted butter
3 cups of flour
1/2 cup cornstarch
1 cup icing sugar
1 tsp vanilla
Opt: package of Toblerone chocolate
Christmas sprinkles or glazed cherries
Directions
Cream butter, add remaining ingredients and beat until fluffy. Roll into balls, press down with a fork.
Decorate with little chunks of Toblerone chocolate and Christmas sprinkles. You can also grate the Toblerone and add it to the cookie dough. A classic for this cookie, is decorating them with red and green glazed cherries.
Bake on an ungreased pan at 325 degrees F for 10 to 12 minutes
This morning I was getting the tins ready…glade I stayed up late and did my baking!
I
Magic is in the air.
Can you feel it?
Merry Christmas my dear blogging family.
You are a precious snowflake.
Until we meet again, may you be well, happy and peaceful.
Oh the joy of season with the twinkling lights and carols playing, fills me with happy anticipation. I’ve always had a quiet faith in the magic of this season and this year is no different. But with only three weeks until Christmas, I’m also feeling a bit stressed.
My husband, David and I have decided that this year, the holiday season will be different. Even though we have eight children, we are on a minimalist path. Oh, I know, it’s a bit of an oxymoron, to have a large family and be minimalists but it wasn’t always that way.
In the beginning, our four older children were raised in a very consumer driven household and they have been used to having most of their wishes and dreams wrapped up in fancy paper and put under a glittering tree. Over the years though, as our younger children arrived, we have become more concerned about the state of our planet. Even though, yes, we are guilty of over populating the world, we now hope to set an example and teach our children to be conscious consumers; walking the earth as gently as possible.
Still, their Christmas wish lists are spread out before me and I struggle to know what would be the best gifts to give them this holiday. Some of the lists were emailed from University, with detailed pictures of tangible items desired. Although there’s a post script at the bottom, relaying extreme appreciation for their parent paid, post- secondary education. Then at the other end of our family spectrum, we have pencil written lists that begin with, “Dear Santa, I hope you are well.” Do I want to burst these innocent bubbles of magical expectation?
Victoria holding up a Christmas card that says BELIEVE….you can see the window seat behind her and our view of the lake and mountains
“Oh,” what will we give them this year?” I ponder, as I fill myred tea pot with boiling water to steep some Earl Grey tea. I look around my cozy kitchen with the old school charm.David renovated it himself a few years ago and I love it. He took off all the cabinet fronts and stained them a calla lily white and then brushed on a tea stain, so they look old and worn. Perfect to weather our large family!
My favourite part of the kitchen is the window seat, which frames the lake view below our house. I take my big tea cup and curl up on the red checked cushion and look out the window. Kalamalka Lake is a slate blue grey this morning and the hills surrounding it are covered in white, as if Mother Nature took icing sugar and sprinkled it liberally while we slept.
Looking out at the new snow, takes me drifting back to a Christmas over 50 years ago.
It was1963 and one of the last Christmas’s my Dad was alive. A year and a half later he was killed in a truck accident. That holiday, in our sleepy, little town of Hope, B.C. which was guarded by tall, forested mountains, we received a huge dump of snow. What a magical appearance it was to wake up and find a sparkling world of peaceful white, beyond my frosted bedroom window.
I don’t know what day of the week it was. I had just turned four years old. My days and years blended into one another, like mom’s endless laundry blowing stiffly in the winter wind on our backyard clothesline. Dad probably had worked that day. I’m sure he was tired after a full day driving truck for the Esso oil company but after dinner on the night of that big snowfall, with a glimmer in his grayish green eyes, he suggested we go and play in the snow. My sister J, eight years old at the time, whooped with joy and was the first out the door, having perfected the art of winter dressing. My older sister’s C and B who were both teenagers, stole furtive glances at each other, to see who would proclaim they were too grown up for such childish play. Surprisingly, they started layering on sweaters, coats and hats while jabbing each other playfully. Perhaps they sensed this moment would ring in our memories for years to come.
My mom bundled me into my red, one piece snow suit, asking again, if I wanted to use the bathroom. I shook my head, impatient to get outside and she sighed. She put on my wool hat and tied the bow then wrapped a red plaid scarf tightly around my neck. I could barely breathe. The final touch was stuffing my hands into the mittens that were tied to the ends of my sleeves. I waddled outside like a penguin, barely able to walk.
My Dad was artfully throwing snow balls at my sisters, who were laughingly, dodging them, as they busily worked together making a snow man. By the time I came outside, the bottom half of him was already built and his lower half was not just one big ball, but a large bottom with a wide lap to sit upon.
The air was biting cold. The sky was ink black and looking up, it felt like we were covered by a heavy quilt of quiet stillness that went on forever. The snow was wet and perfect for packing. Our snowman grew quickly into a giant. I looked at our little white clapboard house to see mom moving around, through the glowing kitchen window. Occasionally, she would peek out and I would wave my snow covered mitten and she would wave back. My Dad and sister’s voices were muffled and seem to come from far away and yet my vision was crystal clear. Everything was sharp and in focus.
Me with our magical giant snowman
Mom brought out shriveled apples for our snow man’s eyes and walnuts for his mouth. Completing his look she reached up high to stick a black top hat on his head. We stood around our snowy creation and mom, wearing only her indoor clothes and an apron said, “brrrrr,” as she snapped a picture of us. In the picture, I was nestled between our snowman’s knees, surrounded by my sisters and my Dad. Although the picture was in black and white, the colours are vivid in my memory.
Dad had never smiled so brightly.
Me with my three older sisters and my Dad in Hope, B.C. over 50 years ago
We piled into the house, with mom clucking over the fact that her grey, linoleum kitchen floor had more snow on it than our yard. With red cheeks and good cheer, we sipped the hot cocoa and nibbled the cinnamon, sugared toast, waiting for us on the kitchen table. Out of the radio, strains of Bing Crosby crooning, “White Christmas,” flowed into our warm kitchen, with the white cabinets and red checked curtains. Oh, nothing had ever tasted better or sounded so perfect, than sitting in our little home in Hope that night, surrounded by my family.
My dad left a legacy. Even though we didn’t have much in terms of material possessions,it was the magical moments of simple living that allowed the notes of our days, to create the music of our life. These moments played a rhythm that rooted us deeply as a family. Now that I’m a parent, it’s my turn to make these musical moments for our children.
Thank you mom and dad for bringing simple, magical moments into my life
I am consciously aware that we only have so much time with our children and then we are gone. Whatever imprint we want to leave on them, whatever wisdom we want to share, the moments are ticking by.
Coming back to this time, I sip the last of my tea and look at my children’s Christmas wish lists laid out on the kitchen table. With a smile I wash my tea cup and start to hum, “I’m dreaming of a white Christmas.”
I know exactly what I want to give this year.
I hope you enjoyed that little piece I recently wrote for my writing group. I regret not finding more time to write on my blog this fall. But there are times in life when I just need to live the experiences ….do you know what I mean? I think it was Rainer Maria Rilke who said,
“be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.”
So that has been what I have been doing…living everything and not stopping to ask anything.
But oh! I love this season and want to share that joy with you. I hope with only three weeks until Christmas you take some time to truly enjoy the magic of the season. Let it seep into your soul and let the simple moments of life bring you the greatest happiness.
Speaking of simple moments; I have to share my recipe for snow topped almond cookies. With vanilla extract being so expensive, I have been baking with more almond extract. I forgot how much I love it. I hope you enjoy it too. When you frost these cookies with a white glaze, you can sprinkle them with red and green sparkles….or with toasted almonds to make them even more festive.
Come into my old school kitchen and let us whip up a batch to share with our family and friends.
This snowman was given to me by my mom, who loved Christmas and Christmas music…he plays the piano and sings
Snow topped Almond Cookies
Ingredients
1/2 cup margarine (I find the texture better when I use 1/2 margarine and 1/2 butter)
1/2 cup butter
3/4 cup sugar
1 tsp almond extract
2 cups flour
1/2 tsp baking powder
1/4 tsp salt
In a medium size bowl, cream butter/margarine and sugar. Add almond extract and mix well. In a separate bowl, mix the flour, baking powder and salt. Slowly add the dry ingredients to the butter mixture and combine well. Now scoop up teaspoon size cookie dough and place it on an ungreased cookie sheet.
Place in hot oven and cook for 8 minutes. Cool on cookie sheet. Glaze with icing sugar mixture and top with toasted almond slices and if making at Christmas time, add some sprinkles of your choice to make them look even more festive.
I made these for my writing group and took them in on our last day together…hope to see you all next year!
Now make a cup of tea and sit in your favourite place and munch on a few cookies. Don’t you think it’s the simple things that make us happiest in life? As you listen to the youtube video below, “Bing Crosby, singing; White Christmas,” think about how you can create some magic this holiday season. Sledding or skating with the family?….or cuddled together watching a Christmas movie? Whatever it is, I hope peace, joy and love settles into your heart and stays for the whole year through.
From my family to yours……may the light and love of Christmas find you this season!
In the front row are from Left to right, Victoria, William and Kathryn/ in the middle are Alyssa, me and Grace and in the back are David, Harrison, Mitchell and Clark…and our cat Ryuuki
This blog post is dedicated to my Mom and Dad……and to our daughter Grace Elizabeth, who was born 15 years ago today. What a Christmas blessing you are!
Until we meet again, may you be well, happy and peaceful.
After a difficult summer, where we endured smoke filled skies, from all the forest fires raging in our province, I was reluctant to greet Autumn. I hadn’t had enough summer. So I dragged my feet, as the new season emerged. Slowly, ever so slowly, I greeted the brisk mornings, fresh with the sweet smell of apples ripening on the trees. Ever so slowly, I greeted the changing colour of leaves, rich in jeweled hues of red, orange and yellows. I sadly said goodbye to my garden; pulling up tomatoes plants still heavy with green fruit. cutting back my raspberry canes, and was even gifted with one, perfectly red, delicious strawberry. A final farewell from the passing season.
When our oldest son Clark came into the kitchen late one afternoon, gratefully sniffing an aromatic stew, and saying how happy he was to greet warm and hearty fall meals once again, and our youngest three, started chatting excitedly about what they wanted to be for Halloween, I felt a tiny bubble of joy come to the surface, over the arrival of the autumn season.
I really must share the recipe for this stew…..it was delicious and although it was meat filled, you could exchange that for vegan sausages and lots of pumpkin seeds….read more about that later in this post
I had a few days where time flew, as I raked leaves with abandoned delight. I pruned shrubs and swept walkways, I stashed away our summer furniture and patio umbrellas, starting to anticipate the long, cold days of winter. I was looking forward to spending the early parts of November continuing on this theme and believe me, there was still lots to do; plant garlic, do some trench composting, pull the last of the spinach, kale, leeks and lastly winterize our chicken coop.
Then two days after Halloween, as I was sitting with my writing group in the historic 100 year old, former home of the artist, Sveva Caetani, it started to really snow. It had started on my drive over but it really started to dump as we all shared our writing. Warmly, sequestered inside this old home that had viewed many winters, I felt encircled and safe. Glancing outside the windows, framed in rich wood, I was swept away by the beauty and timelessness of it all. That was, until I went out and tried to drive in it.
A picture of Caetani house BEFORE, all that white stuff started to magically fall
Apparently, I wasn’t the only one to greet winter unprepared; as our city snow plows and sanding trucks were nowhere to be seen. They didn’t make their appearance until the wee hours of the next morning. I did make it home from writing group, although the roads were horrendous. I was hardly able to drive up the hill into our snow laddened cul-de-sac, I decided it would be prudent to just stay put. I spent the better part of the rest of the afternoon, calling our piano teacher, cello teacher, violin teacher, and emailing a swimming coach; to let them know, our children would have to miss their lessons due to the dire weather situation.
BUMMER!
That’s my latest new word and the other day, when I heard our little Victoria say it, after she was majorly disappointed about something, I had to laugh. It also made me aware that I had better come up with a more appropriate adjective. At least one that sounds more fitting coming out of a six year old. When I think of language, it does define a person. And when I think of the word, “bummer,” I have a vision of a woman with wavy hair to her waist, wearing a long peasant type skirt, serviceable ankle boots, a thick, knitted sweater and a wool hat to match or not, but homemade for sure, all wrapped up in a thick wool shawl. That’s the image I aspire to portray, but until my hair grows longer and I find some funky clothes, alas, I must search for a new word to describe my annoyance of the season.
By the way…..anyone want to teach me to knit this winter?
The miracle of knitting is turning a simple ball of wool into something remarkable…kind of like the seasons of our life
Anyway, the point of it all, is that I was annoyed about the arrival of fall coming and now, just as I was getting into the season of being thankful, November has arrived, dressed in a heavy, white wool coat, looking a lot like winter.
DRAT!
But then, maybe there is a lesson to be learned from all of this. Ha! That’s me for sure;” Hope.” I’d like to believe that this word defines me better than all others. I’d like to believe I radiate, maybe not always, but for the most part, a childlike sense of faith in the goodness of this world.
I’m always trying to glean something positive from my emotions. My negative ones hold the most promise for enlightenment. And as one of my writing buds said to me recently, if we don’t have darkness, there can be no light. Yes, this is so true. The world is full of contrast and it’s up to us to decide what colour we want to paint our life with.
As reluctant as I was to welcome the season of fall into my heart, I realize, I’m doing it again. Not accepting the change of season with grace and ease. Always trying to make things harder for myself with a touch of angst. When William and the little girls came home from school last Friday night all excited about the abundant snow and the endless weekend ahead, they asked with expectant shining eyes, if they could go sledding. I growled, “NOOOOOO, too cold.” And yes, it was something like 14 below freezing that night and I wasn’t looking forward driving to our sledding hill, but the bigger reason was that I didn’t want to embrace the season fully.
I didn’t want to open my door in greeting, even a crack.
Every morning for the past five days, I wake hoping I have dreamed it all. I stumble into my bathroom with cold feet, “brrrrr” and hope, I will see fall colours and blue sky…… but nope.
It’s a frosty world of blue, grey and white.
I guess I am coming around to accepting winter weather is here, early November or not, I captured this image last night from our lower deck
My husband David, says, I better get use to it ’cause winter weather is here to stay for the next 4 to 5 months.
After driving the kids to school this morning, all bundled up in snow pants, coats, hats, and mittens, which took FOREVER to put on, I returned home and decided that THIS morning I would get into the spirit of the early winter weather by making myself a cup of steaming, “London Fog.” Our oldest daughter Alyssa, who spent two years teaching and adventuring in London recently, introduced me to this Earl Grey tea concoction. Recently, my husband David took me out on one of our date nights and and we stopped at Starbucks for a treat,…..you guessed what my selection was; a London fog. Of course it was delicious there but it’s really easy to make at home and you know that’s what this blog is all about…..doing things I love in a sustainable way.
Here’s a link to one of my new fav blogs; Kara Newman’s, “the Tasting Table,” where she helps us make a London Fog:
To accompany that aromatic tea, I also made a steaming, hot bowl of oatmeal, loaded with almonds, walnuts, sunflower seeds, cranberries, and PUMPKIN seeds. (more about that later) and sprinkled with my homemade pumpkin spice mix. If you want to read my blog post about making pumpkin spice latte’s…interestingly written this time last year, click here to read my Simple Pleasures post where I share my pumpkin spice mix recipe. Oh how the weather was different then.
My London Fog, made from Early Grey tea, steaming almond milk and vanilla…and oatmeal loaded with pumpkin seeds and other healthy additions…perfect for a snowy Autumn morning
Now back to this year’s blog post…..
Time is a funny thing. If we take too long processing the changing seasons of life, our life is over before we know it. I don’t want to live like that; dragging my butt into one season after the next. I want to be excited, like my children who were thrilled with the prospect of snow arriving. They still remember how to live in the moment, excited and grateful for all the beauty and gifts of each season. And like the word,”Bummer,” which Victoria recently adopted, my children have influenced me.
My children have been my best TEACHER’S in life. I am going to learn this lesson well and allow it to translate into other areas of my life. Instead of warming up to any occasion and carefully dipping my toe in, I plan to enthusiastically take a run and dive in with abandoned glee. As I come to the surface, I will ask my friend, “the changing season,” what do you have planned for us this year?”
So cheers!….lifting my red mug full of my homemade London Fog. Here’s to another winter season!
And before I close I wanted to share a bit of what I learned recently about the power of Pumpkin Seeds.We were blessed with a lot of pumpkins this year. We grew four small ones in garden. Then around, Oct 9th, my hubbie’s birthday, we took the little kids to our local pumpkin patch and got four more. Then as if we didn’t have enough, our twins went on a field trip with their grade one class to a local farm orchard and selected two more pumpkins. We were abundantly wealthy in Pumpkins!
David’s birthday where I made him a chocolate zucchini cake with the last of my fresh zucchini’s from the garden
Children of the corn…..at our Anne’s Road Pumpkin Patch
Oh I’m wishing upon the GREAT Pumpkin said William with his sisters, Kate and Tori
When David and the kids were carving them last week, for Halloween, (was it just a week ago?) I made sure that they set aside enough seeds to replenish my seed supply for planting next spring but also, I wanted some to roast. I knew the seeds were a good source of zinc but after a bit of research, I found out even more and I thought, what a good blog post to share with you.
The night before Halloween the kids drew up pictures and David carved their pumpkins
Kathryn, Victoria and William, all dressed up on Halloween morning….ready for the School’s yearly costume parade
Our front door with corn stalks from our garden, a homemade spider over head, wisps of spider web, and pumpkins….we had pumpkins all down our drive way too….we also play scary music coming from our garage. Sadly, we only got 19 kids this year!
My princess, Darth Vadar, and our Witch, heading out with their dad for an evening of trick or treating…it’s a bit rainy tonight and our spider leg’s are really moving….scary~~~
Groovy Grace heading off with her Elf fairy friend….this may be the last season of trick or treating for her…BUMMER!!!
All I learned about pumpkin seeds……
Did you know that those little kernels are loaded with way more than zinc? They are particularly beneficial to vegetarians and vegans, as they are packed with protein as well. Further, the seeds are an excellent source of vitamins and essential omega 3-6-9’s as well and have an unparalleled payload of minerals. A quarter cup of the nutty kernel has 73 per cent of the recommended daily amount of manganese, 47.7 percent for magnesium, 16.8 per cent for zinc and 15.7 per cent for iron. There is compelling research as well, that this little green seed, may help you side step Alzheimer’s,(something we should all be concerned about as we age) cardiovascular disease, cancer, diabetes, depression, (something that happens to me in the winter) immune dysfunction and osteoporosis. Do I have to say more?
Well if you insist, this little seed boasts a dizzying array of carotenoids, polyphenols, and plant sterols that have been shown to have anti-cancer, anti-inflammatory and anti-viral properties.
WOW!
So if you already threw out all your pumpkin seeds after carving your jack-o-lanterns, you can always pick them up at your nearest bulk store and toss them in your salads, in your oatmeal, like I do, or even throw them on top of your winter casseroles and toss them in your stews. Who needs meat!
If you did save them,…yahoo!…. let’s roast some and have a stash in our pantry. It’s easy to roast pumpkin seeds.
How to Roast Pumpkin seeds:
Simply, remove them from the pumpkin and let them dry on a cotton dish towel. Pat them dry and remove any lingering pulp off of them. Then spread them evenly on a baking sheet to let them dry for about 48 hours. Once they are dry they are ready to roast. Simply pop them into a pre-heated 200 degree F. oven for 15 to 20 minutes. Watch carefully that they don’t burn. When you pull them out you can sprinkle them with some sea salt, or some garlic powder, or cumin…great if you are using them for snacking. Since I put these seeds into everything, I wait to season them depending on what I use them for. In my oatmeal today, I sprinkled my homemade pumpkin spice on top and it was so yummy.
Tasted like the best of fall and WINTER!!!
So my dear family and friends, that’s the latest from the homestead. As we travel through the last days of fall, I hope you relish each day wherever you are in the world and whatever weather you are experiencing. Mother Nature is always filled with delight and goodness. Sometimes we just need to look under the snow.
I know I was reluctant to greet this season, since I felt I hadn’t experience enough summer….
But like any good friend who you haven’t seen for a long time, you connect immediately and pick up where you left off.
Hello fall.
I’m so happy to see you again!
So much of the season makes me smile but lately the bounty of the harvest from our garden brings me the most JOY! I feel abundantly blessed when basket after basket of food comes into my kitchen, ready to be processed and stored away for the upcoming long, cold winter.
Even though I’ve had a garden for years now, I feel abundantly blessed every time I go outside. There is something so deeply fulfilling about growing your own food and feeding your family
I remember when I was just a small child, before my Dad died, living in our little, white clapboard house in Hope, my parents would drive up to Orchard country in early September and bring home boxes of peaches, pears, plums, and apples. Our small kitchen, always the heart of our home, with mom presiding in front of the sink, would be bustling with food preparation and canning. As the shelves of our pantry slowly filled, one jar after another with delicious peaches, pears, plums and applesauce to name a few, I felt safely wrapped in an envelope of abundance and gratitude.
We really didn’t have much and were far from well off but having those shelves full of food and living in a loving family was EVERYTHING I needed.
In the old days, if you wanted to eat vegetables or have fruit in the winter, you had to put them up. Canning was the number one choice, since no power was needed to maintain the food’s freshness…just a good ‘ole pantry like we had or even better; a cold room. Nowadays we have the choice of canning, drying, freezing, storing or buying in a grocery store as needed.
Even if you aren’t able to grow your own food, you can buy large quantities at low prices and either store them or process them. When I was at my local Super Store yesterday they were selling 10 pounds of beets, carrots and 20 pounds of potatoes for around $3.50 dollars each and if you had a cold storage area, you could easily store them and save some serious cash.
Victoria loves to collect our eggs, today we have a whopper of a basket considering we just have four hens
At a recent SENS (Sustainable Environment Network Systems) group meeting in my area, several experts on harvesting, processing and storing food gave mini talks. I was quite interested in the mini root cellar. Even those who have a tiny bit of yard can use this method. Simply find a large bin with a good fitting lid (an old camping cooler works great) and then dig a hole and put the bin in the hole. Cover it with leaves and voila, a modern day root cellar, which will store potatoes, carrots, beets, onions, squash, etc. If you are like me though, you may need to dig a few holes and have several boxes because our squash crop alone would fill up a box. (and I recently gave a bunch away to family who don’t have gardens)
No root cellar….no problem, just dig and hole, find a container that seals well and put some leaves on top
Here’s Kate, harvesting a spaghetti squash to take for show and tell. She said many children in her class had never seen one so her teacher roasted it in the kitchen and they all got to taste it. In our day and age, many children don’t know how food is grown or even what it tastes like fresh YUM!
We planted fruit trees in our backyard eight years ago this fall and this was the first year we had what I call a BUMPER crop of apples on our two trees; a honey crisp and a spartan. If I had thinned them a bit more, I would have grown even more usable apples…ah a note to self for next year.
Still, it was enough to keep me busy most nights making apple sauce, apple crisp, apple pies, and recently, I tried drying the apples. Soaking them in water with a bit of lemon juice helped to keep them from going brown. The kids love them!
Victoria and Kathryn digging up potatoes, we planted them near the lavender this year with lots of bees and we had a great crop of nice size potatoes, of course last fall I dug in a lot of dried leaves and grass clippings into this area and that seems to have lightened the soil so big ones could grow.
Will was so proud of the corn he grew. Although he only had a 4×4 foot box to grow it in, we had at least 5 good feeds from that crop of corn. Next year will even be better since this was the first year we did it in the box and of course there is cardboard at the bottom which will have decomposed next season. We will also rotate it to the far box.
Even Harrison brought food in from the garden this summer…I had to laugh when I took this picture since the purple cabbage he just picked for coleslaw one night is the size of a basketball and he’s wearing one of his team basketball shirts in this picture. I’m going to miss watching him play this winter…but to each season in life there is a gift.
“to every season there is a gift”
I put the dried apples in a large canning jar in our pantry and the kids help themselves when they want a snack. When I see them sitting at our kitchen island, with the pantry door open and the jar of dried apples in their lap, it takes me right back to my childhood, when I felt safe and comforted with our full pantry.
The kids coming in from the garden for some hummus on bagels and a large bowl of veggies…behind Victoria is our pantry cupboard where I keep jars of dried apples, nuts, and baking supplies. Maybe it will be part of their childhood memory one day.
What are your happiest childhood memories? Do they have anything to do with food?
We have had so many apples this fall that one day, we came home to find a large brown, paper bag at our front door that said, “Chinese” food on the outside. The kids got so excited, after all, who doesn’t like take out? But then they all groaned when they saw it was just a big bag of apples. (If they only knew in most parts of the world this would be a real treat but not so much here in apple country) Thanks Auntie J….it was nice to have another variety of apples to try and even if the kids weren’t thrilled with more of the fresh stuff, I was and I knew exactly what to do with that bag of apples.
Our eight year old Honey Crisp apple tree
Next year I have to thin them so I get more usable apples, still they are great for apple sauce and drying
Soaking the cut and peeled apples for 5 minutes in water and a bit of lemon juice keeps them from going brown
Dried apples are my new kid’s favourite snack, sweet and chewy!
So while harvesting is in full swing around here. We are also mindful of the memories we are creating for ourselves and our children. One thing we have started back up again is Friday family fun night. (Sorry Harry but you used to win all the time anyway!) It’s one night of the week where we actually don’t have anything going on. I thought it would be the perfect night to get the kids involved making a meal together. After dinner we can play a few board games or card games. Maybe work on a puzzle together. It’s been a big hit so far and the kids start talking about what we will make for dinner and what game we will play early in the week so I know it’s something they look forward to.
Grace helping to make pizza on family fun night
Grace taught me how to make stuffed crust pizza..it’s easy, just mozzarella cheese, oregano, basil and garlic!
If you are one of those families still ordering pizza…get on board; homemade pizza RULES! Check out a post where I share our easy pizza recipe and pile your favourites on top.
Our new fall schedule, busy with everything that interests us and something for everyone
And while making memories with our children are a highlight for David and I, as we know how fast little ones grow, we also know that partners can lose each other while raising a family. This fall, we have made a point of having a dedicated, Saturday Date night.
So far we have only managed a few evenings staying home with popcorn, licorice and Netflix, except for one night we went to our new Starbuck’s coffee shop in town and chatted, while sipping on a pumpkin spice latte! It was absolutely yummy. Also, did you know that if you bring your OWN CUP, they will fill it to the top with your beverage of choice and it’s actually, 10 cents cheaper than if you use one of their paper cups. I love it!
(If you want to make your own pumpkin spice lattes this fall, check out my blog post; Simple Pleasures)
This weekend is Thanksgiving in my part of the world. I have so much to be thankful for this year.
Let me list a few of them off, although they aren’t in any particular order….I’m thankful for…..
1. Peace: I live in Canada….living in a country that is peaceful is not something I take for granted.
2. Health: Being healthy and having a healthy family but knowing our health care is excellent if we need it is huge
3. Education: From our youngest who are in elementary school to our oldest who are in University or beyond, we feel fortunate to have access to wonderful education in our country
4. Clean water and food: Abundance of both….we are so blessed.
5. A Home: Seeing others less fortunate reminds me of simply having somewhere safe to put my head is everything…..let’s help others less fortunate!
6. Warm Clothes and Shoes.…at this time of year when the days are colder, I’m so grateful and I’m happy to declutter and share what we aren’t using with others. Makes me smile when I can share
7. Hope: Having hope and moving in the direction of creating a world where EVERYONE can have the things I have listed above, keeps me saying, “thank you!”
My husband David will be out of town on work for much of the weekend (thankful for his job) but he will return in time for us to celebrate his birthday on Monday. And so I will end this blog, saying, “Happy Birthday David!”
David in September…little picnic in the park
And this following song, “Harvest Moon,” by Neil Young, is dedicated to you. On our next date night, let’s dance under the light of the moon. “I’m still in love with you on this harvest moon.”
Thank you for coming to visit today. I hope you are harvesting food and memories in your home too.
But MOST of all, let HOPE be harvested from your heart. Let’s gather together and be grateful for what we have and share our bounty with others. I’m holding my vision of a brighter world for all.
Until we connect again, may you be well, happy and peaceful.
~The most powerful weapon in the Universe is Love~
Every day there is something horrendous happening on our planet. If it’s not from natural disasters, like the forest fires in my area, it’s hurricanes in the Caribbean, or earthquakes in Mexico, and if it’s not that, it’s man made atrocities, which are even more tragic, since those can be prevented.
And while the only thing we can do to avoid some of the natural disasters, are to move in the direction of green environmental practices, which hopefully will restore our earth’s balance, unfortunately, there is little we can do to assist in situations like what the Muslim’s of the Rakhine state, are experiencing in Myanmar right now. These are crimes against humanity and it makes my heart ache and eyes fill with tears.
I am not rich, nor do I have any fame, but I know that as a soul, on an earthly experience, I am limitless and so lately I’ve been praying for an answer as to how I can help the world. I am a mom, and I like to think that I’m a writer too and while this tiny blog isn’t much, right now it’s the only voice I have.
I feel compelled to write, but what do I say?
And then, after I said goodbye to the kids this morning I decided to take some time for me and sit. Just sit and breathe. It’s been so hard to meditate lately. It seems like there is always something more pressing to do; laundry, making meals, cleaning bathrooms, harvesting food and processing food from our garden, but today, something was drawing me to my mat.
Our kids, Victoria, William, and Kathryn waiting for the bus….I miss them but they love school!
I sat for a bit but could not focus on my breath so I found my lap top, plugged it in near my burgundy meditation cushions and googled, “meditating with Deepak.” And that is when I was given the answer to my prayer; Dr.Deepak Chopra reached out and used HIS gifts for connection and touched me.
“Thank you Deepak!”
As Deepak says in the following meditation, we CAN make a difference in the world because we are all inexplicably woven together and connected, (I guess that is why I’ve been crying so much lately) and any love we give to others, or ourselves, ripples out into the world.
Hitting myself on the forehead!!!
With that insight, or rather that reminder, ’cause I KNOW THIS STUFF, but like reminding our kids to be kind and share, (something they know intrinsically and usually do everyday) I had to be reminded that we DO touch each other and we CAN help each other as a result.
I CAN make a difference in the world today.
How, you may ask?
Well, it’s so simple it makes me cry again for the ease of it.
It doesn’t take any money, hardly any effort, and only a glimpse of time. It does take awareness though and an intention.
An intention to…………………. Love the World.
It’s as simple as this; to love the world, you simple love yourself.
Yes, that’s right.
You just need to love yourself and how hard can that be?
You’d think it would be easy because most of us think about US, first? It’s a survival thing isn’t it?
Well, obviously it’s very hard for many of us because if we were more loving to ourselves, and felt like we were worthy of that love, there wouldn’t be the wars, the crimes against humanity, the throwing of hateful tweets, out via our social media; there would just be harmony.
If you stop and think about our world leaders, who are the ones bringing peace and who are the ones who are creating havoc? I’ve been shaking my head all year watching Donald Trump and trying to figure out his intention when he says something hurtful or tweets something inappropriate. And also the leader of North Korea, Kim Jong-un. What is going on in these men’s brains? I’m trying to think logically but maybe that is the problem….
and as a mom, I just want to pull their heads together and whisper, “be kind, be loving.”
Do you think they were truly loved and accepted as babies, as children, as young people growing up, or did they have something to prove to their mentors, their parents, and their support system? I may be wrong, and I’m certainly no psychologist but often when my children strike out at others, it’s because they aren’t feeling good about themselves. Often, when I just draw them close for a hug and a soft talk, I can feel their shoulders ease and they smile out into the world again.
My gut says it’s that simple and yet, why do we human beings continue to not choose that path?
Why is there so much suffering? Is this just the human condition?
I know that I have felt not worthy of love many times in my life. Often that is why I’m running around trying to make my life appear perfect so others will think I’m more lovable and I’m also trying to impress them with my ability to juggle all the balls.. Ha! I’m a terrible juggler, but I’m pretty good at watching them drop and finally getting some insights.
I’m conscious of it but instead of sitting on my mat this week, I flew around doing everything but…..hey, I know I’m preaching to the choir here, why else would you be reading this blog, but really, this is one of the reasons I haven’t been blogging much this year. I’m trying to figure all this stuff out….and then I remember, oh right. You don’t have to figure it all out. Hope…..you just need to love yourself, experience the journey, and love those around you.
It’s that easy!
If you can relate at all, to some of my rambling thoughts and my solution to helping our earth, then please join me this week doing two things:
1. Join me in being free of judgement. (let’s call ourselves minimalist in this regard) For today, let no judgements form in your head…or touch your heart. (If you are like me this will be hard to do but the peace that comes is HUGE!) When a judgement comes, observe it and let it go…because you know we aren’t just judging others…oh no, we are judging ourselves. Ouch!
AND number 2…..
2. Take 15 minutes and sit on your mat. (If you don’t have one, find a comfy cushion and a special place that you can call your own) Let Deepak come into your home and open up our heart chakra. Connect with your sacred breathe and repeat the heart mantra, “YUM.”
When we fill ourselves with love, the energy moves out into the world
When I heard the mantra Deepak suggested, to open our heart chakra, I had to laugh because that is a word I say around here a lot! Especially this time of year; when I’m out in my garden and biting into a crisp, delicious apple straight off the tree, or finding a ripe cherry tomato waiting just for me. Yum is my most used words with all the harvesting going on so maybe that is why my heart chakra has been so open and I’ve been more sensitive to all the events in the world. BUT now, I am going to send it within and I KNOW, it will ripple out into the world.
Yum! yum! yum!
The last thing we can do is pray. I know it sounds so insignificant but I believe in the power of prayer. It works daily in my life…after all I wouldn’t have been reminded of this simple lesson today.
And now my dear blogging family, let’s meditate. Find a comfy pillow, or sit in a chair with your feet touching the ground, palms up on your knees and click play on your computer. Here’s the link to Deepak’s meditation, “Loving the World.”
Ahhhh….that’s better. And with a smile and a wave for my little people will be home soon, I say goodbye. Thanks for connecting with me today! I can feel that connection moving out into the world and touching the whole planet.
Until we meet again, may you be well, happy and peaceful.
Namaste,
Hope
P.S. And in case you wonder about my judgements in this post, I’m letting them go…they are an observation and no more. We are all in the process and our on our own journey!…even if we are together in the big scheme of things….hugs to you all!
“Whoever hath a seed time of grace pass over his soul, shall have his harvest also of joy.”
~William Gurnall~
I won’t lie, the first day of fall was not a joyful one for me. It’s not that I don’t love the autumn season, for I do. Ah, the cooler days with the fresh smell of apples ripening in the air, the crunch of leaves under my feet and the scarlet reds, brilliant yellow and oranges, are normally a welcoming delight for me.
It’s just that this year, I didn’t feel like I’d had enough summer.
Forest fires burned relentlessly, throughout our province, without any sign of abatement due to the hot and dry weather we experienced. For most of July and August I would wake early to the acrid smell of smoke, drifting through my slightly opened bedroom doors. I knew before even rising, from the dim light filtering through the curtains, that instead of crystal blue skies, I would find a grey and white blanket heavy above me, choking me from the beauty of summer, making me feel like I was swimming under water, unable to catch my breath.
Grace sitting on a picnic table during our camping trip…you can see the haze of smoke hovering over the lake
And what made it even worse was being imprisoned with our young children, in fear of damaging their lungs due to the poor air –quality, we spent our days pent up inside our often blistering house. The air conditioner, which we had installed after the staggering hot summer of 1998, the summer I had been pregnant with our now 18 year old son, decided to work intermittently this summer.
Usually on the hottest of days it would decide to freeze up and we would be left sweltering, like hostages in the worst of prisons. Purchasing a new one was out of the question, since we were about to send that same 18 year old off to University and like some rich parents (we’re not!) of entitled kids, (he’s not) we had agreed to pay for his school expenses.
One night in summer I woke to the smell of burning wood and when I glanced outside, the moon was full and almost orange from all the smoke in the air
So on those days when the fine particles in the smoke were most toxic, the kids and I spent hours inside playing every board game in the house, reading countless books until our eyes were red and sore and figuring out which puzzles had the most missing pieces. Occasionally, feeling trapped and isolated, I would turn on the television and catch a bit of National news, and that’s when a heavier oppression hit me; our interior region was making National headlines.
News stories, showing forest fires ablaze and people fleeing their homes for safer ground, not knowing if they would have a home to return to drifted into our family room, like the smoke in the air around us. Compounding my depression over the conditions we were living under, a thick layer of guilt grimly covered me.
We were having a good summer compared to them.
Then if I clicked the remote just five channels over to capture images rolling from CNN, real fear encompassed me. Concerns that, “Rocket Man,” whom the United States President, Donald Trump, called the dictator, Kim Jong-un, of North Korea, would catapult one of his intercontinental ballistic missiles, this one armed with nuclear weapons, and our world would erupt into war, ending life as we know it.
Well, let’s just say life period.
So yeah, summer wasn’t great and I’m not greeting fall with higher expectations, since fall leads to
winter, when our valley is immersed in inversion type weather systems, where we are permanently
trapped under dark cloud and experience bitterly cold days.
I’m not ready for that yet! I didn’t get enough sun yet to keep me going through our darkest months.
Wait though, our eight year old son William, and his six year old twin sisters, Kathryn and Victoria,
have all come running into the house now and are excitedly calling my name. “Mommy, Mommy,
you won’t guess what we found in the raspberry patch?” Pardon me as I put down the lid of my
laptop and see what they want.
Sliding my reading glasses down my nose, I peer at their animated faces and see that my curly,
blonde headed Will is holding something cupped in his hands. The little girls, are glued next to him,
as if they are all one unit, holding this single item up for perusal. “Remember how you thought there
was a squash growing under the raspberries?” Will said, and I answered “yeah?” “Well,” they all
chimed in together, “it wasn’t a squash.” And then they extended a perfectly round, luminous, orb,
circled with tiny rivers of green towards me.
Suddenly, looking at our children’s shining, exuberant faces, and then down at the round and glowing
cantaloupe they were holding, I was reminded of the goodness of earth and the abundant lessons
always springing forth; from the ground and from the innocent joy of our children.
Behind the children and to the right, you can see the cantaloupe plant..which I thought was a squash, growing out under the newly planted raspberries….the seed must have been in the compost mixture I used to top up the raised bed….unexpected gifts from the earth and answers to a prayer to bring hope to dim season
Maybe this fall is going to be better than expected
Please join me in saying goodbye to summer, as we sip the last of the ice tea and make some cheese
enchiladas. If you want an easy meal, this is it! At this time of year, I’m really busy roasting and
freezing tomatoes, making apple sauce, blanching and freezing the last of the beans so this quick and
easy type dinner, fits the bill perfectly. Also, as you may know from reading my blog, our
son Harrison recently left for University. While I’ve been sad to see him go, since he was a meat lover
and would often groan when I would make a veggie dish, it’s nice to be able to make something
more of us love without the negative vibes. Sorry Harry….but something good comes from every
season in life. (we miss you in every other way!)
Our vegetable loving Victoria next to her garden…the bees love her zinnias!
I hope you too are looking forward to fall and the goodness that comes from each season.
Now let’s make some enchiladas…….
(Years ago, I was an accredited La Leche League leader and this recipe was found in one of their books, “Whole Foods for the Whole Family.”)
Cheese Enchiladas
Ingredients
Sauce:
3 tbsp of oil
1 to 2 tbsp of chili powder
2 tbsp of flour
2 cups water
1 tbsp vinegar
1 tsp garlic powder
1/2 tsp oregano
1/2 tsp sea salt
Bean Filling:
2 cups cooked pinto beans
1/4 cup chopped green onions
1 cup cottage cheese
1/2 cup chopped green bell pepper
1/4 cup chopped almonds
1/2 cup wheat germ
1/2 cup chopped black olives
Tortillas
8 flour (see recipe below to make from scratch)
2 tbsp oil
Toppings
1 cup shredded cheddar cheese
1 cup plain yogurt
2 tbsp chopped onion
Directions:
If you really want to stretch your budget, use dried beans. To make 2 cups of cooked pinto beans you need 3/4 of a cup of dried beans. This little bag for $2.00 has enough dried beans for MANY meals!
Combine sauce ingredients in saucepan; mix well. Bring to a boil; reduce heat. Simmer for 5 minutes
Combine filling ingredients in bowl, mashing beans and mixing well. Fry tortillas briefly in oil in
skillet. spoon filling onto tortillas; roll to enclose filling. Place seam side down in shallow baking
dish. Pour sauce over enchiladas; top with 1 cup shredded cheese. Bake at 350 degrees for 20
minutes, spooning sauce over top occasionally. Serve with topping of yogurt and onion. May
substitute shredded sharp cheese for cottage cheese, sunflower seeds fro almonds or green olives for
black olives. Or if you wish omit olives, wheat germ, yogurt, or onion.
This is a quick, nutritious, and EASY meal, not to mention inexpensive for a crowd. Make the sauce
and filling ahead of time and you can make it easily when your family gathers. Put some rice on,
add some tortillas chips and you have a delicious meal for those you love.
The last watermelon of summer, and a smattering of summer corn, all adds to this change of season meal…well this is a meal for all season but boy did it taste good sitting outside on the last of summer
Will and his corn. While this crop would probably do better directly in the ground, we still harvested many ears of corn from this little 4×4 crop space…plus we now have seeds to try it again next year
If you want to take it to another level of being sustainable, make your own flour tortillas. (also from the recipe book above)
Flour Tortillas or Chapathis
Ingredients
4 cups whole wheat flour
1 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon baking powder (opt)
1/4 to 1/2 cup butter or oil
1 cup warm water
Directions:
Combine dry ingredients in bowl. Work in butter or oil…this is optional as well. Add enough water
soft, pliable dough. Knead lightly on floured surface.Divide into 6 balls, let rest, covered for 15- 20
minutes. Roll into thin circles, between sheets of floured, waxed paper. Bake in ungreased, heavy
skillet, or griddle, until brown specks appear on cooking side. Cook over and cook on the other side.
These store well in fridge or freezer. Makes 16 servings.
Sadie and I… aka Sweet Girl at the end of summer
“You carry Mother Earth within you. She is not outside of you. Mother Earth is not just your
environment. In that insight of inter-being, it is possible to have real communication with the
earth, which is the highest form of prayer.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh~
Thank you for coming to visit me today.
Until we meet again, may you be well, happy and peaceful.
“I blinked and you were gone, around the corner and out of my vision”
The rain dropped meditatively against the windshield and dim light shone through the cab of the truckI was driving. The roar of the engine was white noise and the bouncing seat a gentle cradle, as I rumbled along the highway, and although I was acutely aware of all of my senses, I felt as if I were floating on a fluffy grey cloud.The air was oxygen rich with the dampness, accentuating the rich smell of oil permeating the truck’s cab. I turned the large black steering wheel to meet the curves in the road, allowing it to ground me to earth and my rhythmic heart beat.
Thumping steadily, the windshield wipers relaxed me into a deeper peaceful state and I drifted along, casually noticing how brilliant the green foliage was blurring by my side window, a sharp contrast to the grey of the day. Suddenly large buckets of rain started thundering overhead, and although I turned the wipers on high, they did nothing to clear my vision of the road.Panicked, I geared down but it was too late, a millisecond later I knew I was about to hit something dark and ominous. A horrendous crash filled my brain and then everything went black.
I awoke totally disoriented, trying to catch my breath and assess my surroundings. “Where was I?” reverberated through my brain as I sat up and opened my eyes. Early morning light filtered through my bedroom venetians, centering me and I collapsed against my nest of pillows. Oh! it was only a dream.Picking up my cell phone from my bedside table, I saw it was 6:28 a.m. and the date was September 14, 2017.
I sighed and laid back, pulling the comforter up to my chin thinking gratefully that I still had another half an hour before I had to get up and get the kids ready for school. My husband David was still sleeping quietly, laying on the bitter edge of our queen size bed.I always tease him about sleeping on the edge, and he says, “yep, that’s my life, living on the edge.” Breathing deeply and sighing a second time, I closed my eyes and furrowed my brow, trying to remember the last vestiges of my fleeting dream. Who was I in that dream because it felt like I was there and yet, I was looking through someone else’s eyes? What a weird sensation and the more I tried to capture the images, they floated even farther away, like a balloon let loose in the wind, drifting steadily upward.
Then I remembered that today was the anniversary of my Dad’s death.
September 14, 1965.
I’ll never know what happened to him. They say that it had been a hot and dry summer in Hope that year and on the day of his death it had rained cats and dogs. The speculation was that the #1 Highway that went through the Fraser Canyon, wherehe had been delivering oil in his Esso company truck, was probably slick, and despite his excellent driving skills, the conditions had been extremely dangerous. The thought was that he was coming too fast towards the American-Creek bridge and when he tried to slow down, his truck hydroplaned into the side of it, flipping the cab of the truck forward and that action, caused a neck injury. We will never know. The first people to the accident were fearful of the truck exploding, so hastily they moved my unconscious Dad out of the collapsed cab, and in doing so, damaged his spinal cord further, cutting off his airways.
He died on the side of the road.
“I blinked and you were gone, around the corner and out of my vision”
My dad Marvyn and my mom Ethel…wearing their matching winter shirts
For years I lived in the shadow of grief, feeling orphaned and alone. Sympathy shrouded me as friends and family whispered, “oh poor Debbie, five is too young to lose a Dad.” I’m older now than he was when he died at age forty five and I understand that the end of his road was the beginning of mine. I guess that is why I write this blog. That is why I have been working on putting my story into memoir form.
Life is precious!
We never know when our road will end. With that knowledge, I scribble away. I write here on my blog, I keep journals, I make lists, I write outlines for potential books, and I’ve been involved in a writing group for over a year now, composing little vingettes from my life, in hopes that finally, FINALLY, I will put all the pieces of the puzzle together into a semblance of something worthy of a lifetime.
Having this blog has been fun, as it’s my way to pass on favourite recipes and little stories about my family; my thoughts and ideas about our changing world and how becoming sustainable will help to heal our planet. I want to hold up a candle of peace as well, for our children and their children to follow. Our oldest children will remember most of the stories but our youngest, our last four, may not, so this is a piece of me for them. After all, who am I kidding, I’m more than half way through my life (if I live to be a centurion) and my path will end. As my husband’s dad, Ron Reynolds, who was in the cemetery business, used to say with a cynical grin,
“none of us get out of here alive!”
Some days, my brain is so full of marbles rolling around, that I wonder if anything coherent is being churned out but I continue to write. I write for my Dad too. Yes he drove truck for a living but he was so much more. He was a true Renaissance man. A man of honour and integrity. He was hardworking and would do anything for his family. I can remember going to bed at night to the sweet, woodsy aroma of his pipe tobacco in the air and hearing him tapping away on his black, Underwood typewriter, in the small alcove above my room. After his death, we found love poems he had written for my mom, for his children and other deeply moving pieces. Other nights, I would fall asleep to the gentle, hypnotic melodies lilting into my room, while he played his violin or the accordion, both of which were self taught.
Literature and music weren’t his only passions. In the last years, he enjoyed shooting family movies on his Kodak 8 mm camera and piecing those memories together. My favourite times, were family movie night, when we would sit in our darkened living room and laugh over his latest film. He was a man’s man. He loved sports and was a dedicated hockey coach. In the last year of his life we found countless letters he had written to encourage our little town to build an ice rink and after his death we heard that those words were instrumental in making it a reality. He had also coached soccer with his brother Al. Their team had won a very prestigious title in the Fraser valley, highly coveted in those days. Then there were my floating memories of being a young child and hearing my Dad yelling louder than anyone at my older sister’s basketball games. He was so proud of his athletic girls. He was a ladies man too and I know with his good looks and ease on the dance floor, that he left many women envying my mom, who was the love of his life.
My young parents…before us
For years I felt fearful that I’d never get my story written, so much of it has been wrapped up with the end of my Dad’s life, but in the last ten years his whispers have grown stronger. He has been encouraging me from the other side of the curtain to follow my bliss and get my writing going. Just as he was yelling support to my sisters at their sporting activities, he is now telling me to pick the pieces up and write.
This will be the gift I leave for my children; for my Dad’s grandchildren and beyond,
because you know, the road goes ever on.
This blog post is in memory of my Dad, “Marvyn Derwent CLark (April 1920- Sept 14, 1965)
Click on the hyper-link “Don Messer’s final song, “Til we meet again,” if you can’t see it above.
Until we meet again, may you be well, happy and peaceful.
I’ve had him for eighteen years. You’d think that would be enough, but it’s not. And yet, I’m ever so mindful that I have been blessed. I am a blessed, beyond measure mom. I’m blessed, because I know there are women out there, who would have given anything for just one day holding their baby.
There are women out there, who will never know the joy of watching their baby take his first step, say mama for the first time, watch him turn back with a smile and a wave as he heads off to kindergarten and finally say, “I love you,” as he leans down for a hug and a kiss before heading off to University.
And so with that awareness and with tears in my eyes, I say goodbye. Not just for me but for those women who will never even have the chance to say, “hello.” It’s a knowledge that fills me up with abundant gratitude and humbleness, it spills out of my heart with vast appreciation for all I’ve been given, so that on days like this, I remember, it could have been different.
I could have been that other woman.
Also, Harrison was a baby that almost wasn’t.
I was in my late 30’s when he was born. Very late. In fact, I turned 39 a month before he was born and in those days, well even in these days, there is this belief that once you hit 40, it’s game over as far as fertility goes. He made it in what most would call under the wire since most couples choose to have their families before they hit that “Four oh” number.
Another reason Harrison was almost not on earth was because well, I had a husband who was content and happy with our three children. We had our lovely daughter Alyssa Rae, and our son Clark Douglas (named after my dad and David’s grandfather) and even had a “bonus,” baby, “Mitchell David,” who was born when I was thirty six. (David was 37)
When I watched our three kids have their snacks around the colourful, little Tykes picnic table in our kitchen, it always felt like someone was missing. I couldn’t explain this to anyone, but it felt like a deep void in our family. Our best friends at the time, all felt that a two child family was perfect and they often referred to our family of five as BIG, and they were in awe as to how we managed it.
Also, my in laws felt we had pushed the limits when we had had three children. Certainly, my mother in law didn’t understand why I would give up my career and have a third baby. She shook her head and said, “if we had had a choice, we would have only had two children.” Hmmm, I often wondered how their daughter and son, who were number 3 and 4 felt about THAT! Maybe they didn’t even know that these were her feelings, or did they? Even my mom, who loved babies, felt like I had my hands full with our three and when I tried to share my dream of having one more baby, she didn’t understand, even though I was HER number four baby.
But life has a way of flowing and finding it’s natural progression and like a river, whose destiny is to meet the ocean, Harrison glimpsed an opening and quietly slipped through the curtain to find his way under my heart.
He was meant to be.
That was a tough pregnancy for me emotionally, since most of my support system didn’t understand my desire for another baby. They were all perplexed as to why we would have one more. Also, David spent most of those nine months very quiet. At first, he was concerned that with us being older, there would be health issues for the baby or myself but even after the amnio results assured us that our little one was perfect, he remained detached from me. I suppose in hindsight, he was trying to come to terms with having a larger family, one bigger than he had ever dreamed of, and of course, now that he was the main breadwinner, he was probably feeling stressed.
The moment Harrison was born though, two weeks early just before Christmas in 1998, it felt like he had always been with us. He was the sweetest baby and made these soft mewing noises as he settled into my arms. And if David had any misgivings of having another baby, they vanished when holding his son for the first time for he realized that he looked, EXACTLY like him.
Harrison Drew, finally in my arms. I knew this baby was meant to be!
The most peaceful, yet powerful thing is watching your strong husband sleep with your tiny baby..David and Harrison
Harrison with his classic pooh bear. I used to sing a little song to him, “Harrison Drew, Winnie the Pooh, what a sweet, sweet little babe.”
In retrospect, little Harrison Drew’s babyhood and childhood flew by. When you have many children, the focus is always moving and although it lingers on which ever child needs the most attention in the moment, or which ever child is shining the brightest, Harrison always found a way to lighten our household with his quick wit and brilliant humour and we paused to admire this lovely child as he grew. He was strong minded as well, so in that regard he was an easy child to raise because we knew exactly what he liked and did not like….and his stubbornness meant we couldn’t sway him.
When Harrison arrived, he just completed our family nicely….four was our number for a long while
I’ll never forget picking him up from preschool one time and he looked up at me and complained, “they made me do a craft today!” he wailed. And over his head, me with questioning eyes found his teacher Jennifer laughing. She explained that, “well, yes, we had him make a finger puppet today so he could participate when we read a special book at story time.” I looked at his big blue eyes (they are now more green like mine) with their long lashes and had to laugh. Yes, this little boy knew exactly what he wanted in life and it was not doing crafts!
In this picture you can see that colourful picnic table in our kitchen…it always felt like someone was missing until Harrison arrived. Here are Harrison and Mitchell with Harrison’s new birthday gift…fire engine
But he moved through his childhood with a determination of knowing what he wanted and that made it easy. When David picked him up from ski lessons another time, the ski instructor said, “your son doesn’t want to follow the group or me for that matter,” so David pulled him out of formal lessons and just had Harrison ski with him and his older brothers. Those boys were thrilled to teach their little brother how to find the best jumps and it was always a competition to go fast and see who had the highest air time. And even though his older brother received his second Dan is Tae know do at age 16, Harrison was happy with his black belt that he got when he was 12 and said, he was done with marital arts.
And when summer came, even though he had older siblings who were lifeguards and swim instructors, when I asked him if he wanted to finish his Red Cross program, (he only had one more level to complete) he said, “save the money, because I can swim well enough.” He was always questioning the value of things, both in time and in money.
When it came to music, after playing violin for six years he knew definitively that he wanted to study percussion, even though my heart was set on him continuing to play the strings with his older brothers. He would tap on everything he could get his hands on until we switched him over to drum lessons which he took most of high school. And he knew soccer and basketball would be the only sports for him, even though he tried volleyball one season and said, “nope, not his sport.” I think he would have really loved to have played Rugby too, but he was aware of the physical risks involved …thank heavens he listened to that brain injury rant of mine!
He always had a thing for athletic shoes!…wearing his big brother’s shoes!
And when it came time for him to decide which University to attend, it was no contest. He knew he wanted to take business and the University of Victoria, which is his older sister’s Alma mater, and where his older brother Mitchell currently attends, was the best choice for him. Even though, there is a perfectly great University just down the road from our home, he was going to go away to attend school.
Some of our best family memories were on Vancouver Island…why am I surprised that he wants to attend University there?
Harrison on his graduation day, June 2017
I’ve known for 18 years that this day would come. I’ve known all summer that it was almost upon my doorstep. Why is it always so hard to say goodbye when the time comes? This summer, as I would drive him to work, or on the return journey home, or when he and I were just hanging out in the family room, drinking some ice tea and chatting, I would tell him everything in my heart.
I asked Harrison to go and get a cabbage from the garden for coleslaw one night and he came up holding it like it was a basketball….had to take a picture of that ’cause this is another thing I will miss…watching him shine on the court
Things like;
How to live life fully, experiencing everything and being your best self, but being mindful of others along the path. To appreciate the gift of a post secondary education and to not squander the opportunity by wasting time and fooling around. Work first, play second. Be kind, be respectful, be polite. Respect and honour women and elders. Use everything you have to leave this world a better place and take care of our planet for the generations to come.
always with love…
I’ve been lecturing all summer and in hindsight, I wished I had been loving more, but I have always felt like I had to be the tough parent. You know the strict one. I play the bad cop often and my husband plays the good cop. That makes me mad sometimes, ’cause I want my kids to love me the best, but it’s okay in the end. As long as they grow to live up to their potential, and if that means that I’m the one who rants on and on and pushes them further, and my husband stands by as a quiet supporter, often moving us quickly from a hard subject with a witty retort or joke, well so be it. I hope when Harrison has some time away from the family and takes a moment to reflect on how he was parented, he knows, I always had his back and I was the one who wanted him long before he came to earth.
One thing I did this past summer, to keep our connection strong, was make sure he had a few treats. When I picked him up from his job at the Home Depot and then his landscaping job, I always had some frosty ice tea waiting in the car for him. On several occasions I made some yummy blueberry muffins (see a later post) and there was ALWAYS thick slices of zucchini bread for his lunch time snack. He recently informed me that he doesn’t really like cookies any longer but there is one that he still enjoys and before he left I made sure to make a big batch of……
my peanut butter flax seed cookies.
If there is one cookie Harrison enjoys…it’s one with peanut butter in it…the flax is a nice nutty touch
I know a lot of people are allergic to peanuts (so sorry!) but thankfully, none of our children have been and that is a good thing because we all love peanut butter in our house. I know our kids really love to be able to have peanut butter cookies and sandwiches all summer long since they can’t have them during the school year.
So if you are like us and love a really good peanut butter cookie, you will love this one and hey, it’s pretty healthy too, well relatively healthy anyway. And maybe if there is someone in your life that you have to say goodbye to, make some cookies, and as you are hugging them, slip them into their backpack with a note that says, “you are LOVED!”
Not a great picture as the sun was sprinkling it’s light, but this was Harrison and I saying goodbye at 8 am this morning
Instead of goodbye, I think I will just say, “see you soon, I love you!!!” David and Harrison off to University…kind of a tradition now for my husband to take our kids to school….while I stay home and cry while writing a blog post pouring it all out!
I hope you join me in the kitchen to make these soft, chewy cookies. and while we mix, we can listen to this song. Maybe you will cry with me as I sing “How to say goodbye,” by Michael W. Smith.
This song is dedicated to my sweet son Harrison.
Shine on!
If you have a child who is still at home, yes we have to provide a strong foundation for them to grow, and if you are like me, maybe a lecture or two along the way, but a plateful of cookies now and then is another way to remind them they are loved. Although we are moving more and more towards eating less sugar, I think my cookie jar will always be full as long as I have children at home
Love them while you have a chance to…’cause saying goodbye reminds me they are with us for only a blink of an eye.
If we have to say goodbye, let us unwrap this time, and see it for the gift it is; a lesson in living more fully and awake.
Hope’s Peanut butter Flax seed Cookies
Ingredients
1/2 cup of butter
1 cup brown sugar
1 egg
1 tsp vanilla
1/2 cup creamy peanut butter…we use the organic peanut butter from Costco
11/4 cups all purpose flour….can use half whole wheat for a healthier cookie
1/2 cup ground flax seed
1 tsp baking soda
dash of salt
Directions
Preheat oven to 375 degrees
In a large bowl mix butter and sugar until creamy. Add the egg and vanilla.
Add peanut butter until well combined
In a separate bowl, add all the remaining ingredients.
Stir dry ingredients into the butter mixture and mix well.
Spoon tablespoon and roll into balls. USING A Fork (Harrison likes flattened cookies) flatten cookies using a criss cross pattern. I like to sprinkle a bit more flax on top of each cookie…a single whole peanut is a nice touch too.
Bake in oven for 10 minutes.
Makes 24 cookies…of course I double the above for our family….these cookies go fast!!!
Thank you for visiting today. Please come back soon. It’s been a funny summer for me but this fall I hope to spend more time talking about moving towards a simpler life…minimalist posts, more posts on raising children and more time out in the garden. Come back again…
And until we meet again, may you be well, happy and peaceful.
My husband David and I are building a wall. It’s in our back yard, behind the house we built twenty five years ago. Our house sits on a third of an acre, on a sloping hillside property above Kalamalka Lake, which National Geographic has claimed to be one of the ten most beautiful lakes in the world. Over a hundred years ago, this land was the spring and summer home for the Salish Peoples of the British Columbia Interior. They hunted, fished and gathered berries and grew crops on this hillside.
When our rural community of Coldstream was settled, mostly by British ruling immigrants one hundred years ago, our land was heavily planted with fruit orchards. Then as the area grew, and the demand for housing with it, the trees were systematically taken down and our subdivision was developed. Our home used to be on the highest road on the hillside and our cul- de- sac was the coveted place to live. Since then, the whole mountain has been consumed with construction and we now rest smack in the middle of a hoard of large homes.
A view of Kalamalka Lake from our upper deck
We have many walls on our property. We built most of them using large river bed rocks. The first spring we were in our house we had a dump truck load of river bed rocks delivered to our front yard. Later that same day, our builder called to say they wanted to come and form our drive-way the next day. Isn’t it funny that we had lived with a dirt drive way for 4 months and the day we have a ton of rocks delivered, our builder suddenly wants to form and pave our drive way? Some would call it, Murphy’s law but I just call it life and another lesson in letting go.
David with baby Clark and Alyssa looking at the hill in our front yard that we have to retain
The day of the rock delivery and our builder’s announcement, David came home from work and grimly started moving rock. We had waited four months to have our drive way put in and there was no way we were going to ask for an extension, since our builder was now side tracked building other homes, and we didn’t know when he would put some of his crew back to come and finish our home. I joined David in the yard, after tucking our two children into bed. It felt like they would never settle. Our three year old daughter Alyssa kept asking me to read, “just one more book,” and it took forever for our four month old son, Clark to finally drift to sleep at the breast. I had moved him from side to side to side until at last, with warm milk trickling from the side of his mouth, he pulled away from the breast with a contented smile and heavy lids. I put him down gently into his crib and grabbed my work gloves. David asked, “is he all tanked up?” and I replied, “yes, I’m all yours for at least four more hours.”
David had already moved a sizeable chunk of rocks and I knew he was getting punchy as he started to sing the “working on the chain gang,” song over and over. The sky grew dark and I turned on all the lights at the front of our house so we could see what we were doing. I started to sing the chain gang song with David and we laughed with exhaustion as the stars twinkled over head. The larger rocks we rolled to the new location in our front yard but for most of them, we picked them up and carried them over to the growing pile, then dropped them. This made a huge crack sound as they hit the rocks below and I’m sure, to our new neighbours, it must have sounded like a gun going off every few minutes. Finally, just before midnight we moved our last rock and baby Clark was waking to ask for a fill up.
“Lakelin Reach” before the drive way or side walk was formed….you can see the pool steps in the garage so the pool wasn’t even put in at this stage…oh the trim on the windows was not painted yet….the house has changed a lot in the last 25 years..see updated picture below
As it turned out, our builder decided that they couldn’t form the drive way the next day and if memory serves, they didn’t come for several more weeks. Another lesson in surrender and for some, it would have created the belief that contractors are unreliable. For me it created the belief that David and I working together can do anything.
David, Alyssa and Clark in front of the rock walls we built in our front yard
Sorry, picture crooked but yep, that’s me with the kids in the front yard….wow the plants have really grown since then….see below for a recent picture
Those rocks were the first of several deliveries that arrived, allowing us the material to build walls and terraces throughout our yard, in the effort to create flatter living areas in our outside spaces. David got very good at looking at a pile of rocks and remembering the size and quality of each and like a jig saw puzzle, he put each piece exactly where it belonged.
I was never so happy to see the last rock placed on that final wall 19 years ago and Baby Clark was over 6 years old and two little brothers had joined our family. I often wonder if our rock wall building obsession, in his formative years created a love for rocks in him. For years, I had to ruthlessly check his jean pockets for rocks before putting them in the wash. Last year, he graduated with a Science degree in Earth and Environmental studies; basically it’s the undergrad to becoming a geologist. Isn’t it true that we often come back to what we were raised with and what we learned to know well?
The walls we are building now, are to replace two landscape tie walls, each 50 feet wide and 3 feet high, that have rotted over the last 25 years. They were built above our pool to retain two terraced beds. At the time of construction, we just wanted to create two useful walls and in my wildest dreams I never thought we would live in our house long enough to have to replace them. Life is endlessly interesting and I never fail to be surprised with how things unfold! This time though, we are taking it slow, as we know this will be the last walls we build. David and I are getting older and we realize this is not just a wall, but a piece of the legacy we leave on our property.
In this picture you can see our pool to the left and the landscape retaining walls above…Alyssa playing with her plastic farm animals while David builds a rock wall to the right of the pool area
Three years later, our second son Mitchell was born in 1996 and in the rear of this picture you can see the landscape retaining wall and one of the rock walls built with rocks found from our own property as we were landscaping it….we are in fact on a mountain side so there were lots of rocks
We haven’t had a shipment of rocks delivered this time since there really isn’t a place to dump them and besides, we want to carefully select the rocks for our new walls. This summer we have been methodically taking down the landscape tie wall, section by section and moving the rotting remains to the dump in our family van. Then several times a week, when we have a spare evening, we take a drive into the nearby mountains to search for rocks.
The river bed rocks are just on the side of logging roads up in the mountains. Picking them ourselves gives us exactly the size and shape of rocks we want. If we were to have a ton delivered, even if we had somewhere to put them, we would receive round rocks, really large rocks and then some too small to work with as well. Picking them ourselves is hard work but we get what we want…and the price is right!
Thankfully, we have found a large mother lode of them off an old logging road where it looks like there once was a creek running through the area. As we lift our carefully selected rocks that have been settled into the ground for eons, it almost feels like a sacred ritual. David and I compete to see who lifts the biggest rock, or finds the nicest looking one. We smile at each other as we pass, hefting large boulders into the back of our van.
These rocks silent but heavy, with memory of days long past, are
relics reminding us of our impermanence on this earth.
Our van holds just enough rocks to build a 3 to 6 foot wide wall, 3 feet high…here are just a few we found one evening
As this is the type of work that is physically intense, but one in which the mind is free, I’ve been reflecting on our building material and on other types of walls; the walls we build inside ourselves. The walls that are built by our belief system, many formed when we are children, others through life experiences as we grow. Walls laden heavy with what we believe to be true, walls weighted with judgement regarding how we should maneuver through our life.
Years ago, I took a three part course called, “The Pursuit of Excellence.” The second part of the course was called, “The Wall,” and it took place on Orcas Island, near Seattle Washington. It was there, during some very effective self discovery exercises and out of my comfort zone experiences, that I discovered I had built many walls in my short 29 years of living. In fact, many were preventing me from experiencing a life rich and full. Those walls dictated what I felt I could or could not do in my life. During that pivotal long weekend course, I kicked down walls built on fear and shifted instead into a landscape full of endless possibilities.
So similar to the foundations we provided for our son Clark to learn to love rocks, I learned as a young adult while on Orcas Island to break down my walls and let go of my belief systems that were preventing me from living my best life. If I couldn’t knock those walls down, at least I could jump over them and see the possibilities on the other side. I also connected deeply with other strangers whom I met at that long weekend training session and realized we basically all want the same things on this planet; to be happy, to be loved, to live in peace, to make connections with others and to live a meaningful life.
As I lift these boulders and drop them at the base of what will be our new wall, I think about the family who may live in our house in a hundred years from now. Will they wonder about the Reynolds family who built this house, the family who raised eight children on this property? Perhaps they will find little plastic farm animals that our children often play with as we are building our rock walls.
The world is changing but not fast enough for me.
The beginning of our new walls…we are almost half way across. We plan to put a set of steps up the middle so you can easily go up to the hot tub from the pool
The wall from another angle….I can’t wait to have herbs, perennials, and maybe some watermelon growing in the beds above the pool…this area gets all day sun so is perfect for growing flowers of all kinds…bringing the bees and butterflies to our yard is important for our edible garden
Twenty five years ago we built this house….you can hardly see it from the road any longer with all the plants that have grown in our rock wall terraced beds
Seriously I need to get the pruning shears out soon but here is the last rock wall we built 19 years ago…in the corner is a little pond with fountain spray…this is the bottom of our drive way
This is the same area, 25 years later, of the picture of the hillside I showed you above…these two terraced rock wall beds give us lovely privacy in our front yard and the bonus of having a drive way that goes down…the kid’s balls don’t go out onto the road…they are safe…that is unless they don’s sled down our drive way in the winter time….although it’s been done!
There are more walls that need to be taken down……
Last Friday, there was a protest by white nationalists in Charlottesville, Virginia, a quiet college town. They were carrying torches and chanting horrific racist remarks and at the end of it all, a young woman was dead and many more injured.
And for what I keep asking myself? It’s the same old wall that holds up the belief that if you don’t look like me, if you don’t believe what I believe, then you must be eradicated from this earth. When is this fear and hatred going to end on this planet? I often think it’s strange that we don’t see the Indigenous people’s marching against the invasion of immigrants to North America. They certainly have more right to do so than these white nationalist, who seem to think they were the first ones to come to this land.
Anyway, here I am, trying to remain impartial and only observe and yet, judgement creeps into my consciousness at every turn.
WHAT HOPE DOES THIS WORLD HAVE?
I lift my quiet watchers of the world and place them on our land, hoping that in a hundred years from now things will be different. Hoping, some of the barriers that are preventing this earth from being a place of peace will have been broken down. People will finally realize that we are all connected on this planet and when hatred and violence occurs, like a pebble being thrown into a pond, the ripples reverberate out to the farthest shore and touch us all.
With that same knowledge I believe peaceful thoughts do the same and so, with that in mind I head out to our backyard and recite my prayer,
“May all beings be well, happy and peaceful.”
The rocks are watching.
As I say goodbye to you today, I’m singing, “What’s Going On,” with Marvin Gaye. Please join me, and let’s keep taking down walls of racism and hatred and build a world full of peace and love.
Until we meet again, may you be well, happy and peaceful.
“Use for yourself little, but give to others much.” —Albert Einstein
Isn’t free will an interesting concept? At its core level it can be a freeing experience, empowering even, but here is where the oxymoron lies, for some of us, having limitless choices creates stress and anxiety. I deeply appreciate knowing this is a first world problem and I don’t take this liberty for granted, but more and more, I am choosing less and less.
I want a simpler way of living.
Our recent camping experience demonstrated that a minimalist approach in life makes me happier. We have been camping for years now and while we always take tents, our van is usually loaded with all sorts of extras that this year I vetoed. This year choosing to take less meant we packed up laser fast. What used to take several days to organize and pack, literally took one afternoon with David and I dividing and conquering the tasks. What took the most time this year was pausing to say, “no.” No to the board games and toys the children never play with, no to the extra pillows and the daily change of clean “ironed” clothes we don’t really need. No to unnecessary toiletries. I didn’t even take a tube of lip gloss!
What made it even easier was a seasonal forecast for dry, hot weather. This summer our Province has experienced a record high amount of forest fires and although that has been really tragic and sad for those who have lost their homes or have been evacuated from their properties for weeks, for those of us outside the fire areas, there has been a lot of smoke to contend with. Often really poor air quality and some days it can be depressing seeing only grey and white in the air when you know blue is just beyond all the smoke. It did make packing for our camping holiday easier, knowing it would continue to be hot; a few swim suits, a pair of shorts, a t shirt, some pj’s and we called it good.
Also, when I packed our food, the option of having S’mores was gone since camp fires were prohibited and I was hoping that our minimalist camping would transfer over to a simpler diet as well. The day before we left I picked green beans from the garden and gathered cucumbers and tomatoes which would all be great with our lunch and dinners and on our way out of town we bought some corn and various fresh fruit for the kids to snack on. I packed some quinoa and rice, some cans of organic lentil soup and the kid’s favourite Annie’s macaroni and cheese in a box which was a real treat and easy for me to prepare.
Thankfully, none of our children are allergic to peanuts, so bringing some peanut butter, jam and bread filled the lunch bill and breakfasts….well, David went crazy when he was at Costco buying supplies and got the kids little boxes of those cereals that they always wanted to try. Thankfully, I packed a bag of old fashion oatmeal with ground flax seed, nuts and dried fruit and after the first morning eating those sugary cereals, several of the children asked for some of my oatmeal on the following mornings.
Having choices is good! The contrast teaches what you don’t and do want in life.
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Another huge benefit was the camp set up which was a breeze. In no time our tents were up, our sleeping bags rolled out, giving us lots of time to swim, play on the beach, float around on the one luxury we did bring; an inflatable boat and when we weren’t at the beach the kids played card games and we all had brought books to read. Each evening when it was cooler we went out for a hike and explored the area.
Our camp was simple and easy
One evening on our way to the nature trail, we strolled through the campground and while Victoria was counting beloved dogs, Kathryn stopped every time a chipmunk crossed our path, and William was looking for just the right walking stick, David and I were rather surprised and shocked to see most of the camp sites filled with large, fancy recreational vehicles with awnings and large bump out rooms, and toys of all kinds littered throughout the camp sites. Some had motor boats on trailers behind their large trucks. It occurred to me then that our choice of camping equipment ran towards the line of simplicity, compared to almost everyone else. Some of the trailers and motor homes were the size or larger of the tiny houses that are so popular now…..and in fact, if we didn’t have 6 children living at home right now, that would be my FULL TIME residence of choice.
Starting out on our nature trail hike…this is the main road but quickly it veers off into the trees
I have to say, it was a bit of a culture shock. Instead of listening to the noises of the forest, sounds from T.V’s. and music from stereos drifted out from the campsites. As we walked by one site you could hear the beep of a microwave and smells of spicy butter chicken wafted onto our pathway. As the evening got darker, fire light could be seen flickering through the trees and it occurred to us that many had overcome the camp fire ban by bringing large propane fueled, campfire bowls. As if this wasn’t enough, what really popped my socks were a few campers had strung colourful, LED lights and patio lanterns around their camp site. And another had circled their whole camp site with stick in the ground, solar landscape lighting. You would think they were settling in for the long haul.
.
Now, I know this sounds rather judgemental but really it is just an observation on choices. Will I have less or more in my life? What makes me happy? Almost 95% of the campers chose to bring all the comforts of home along with them and we chose to bring the least amount. They obviously wanted the outdoor experience but with the luxuries of home; and we had chosen to experience a bit of a contrast from our day to day life. Also, judging by some of their set ups, I’m sure camping is their regular summer experience, whereas we only occasionally go out into the woods. And who knows, maybe their house at home is not very luxurious. Maybe they live in a very basic home and THIS is their luxury. If that is the case, they are experiencing contrast. Something I noticed as we drove home and through the country side is that there were very modest homes with large recreational vehicles in their side yard. Hmmmmmm! This is their choice in life.
And as long as they are happy…I am too.
Life is endlessly interesting to me!
What did take a tiny bit of joy out of our camping experience though was not waking up to the sounds of the forest, with the morning wind blowing through the trees and the birds chattering away to one another, but to the loud humming of generators being fired up each morning. It broke my peace but gave me another thing to observe and let go.
One night we had a wonderful outdoor experience as we woke to a rustling noise in our recycling bag, out by our picnic table. I heard it first and thought maybe it was a BEAR! I woke David and he sleepily told me to go out and see. “I’m not going out there,” I said as I passed him the flash light. He grunted and sleepily crawled out of our our low tent. I watched from the door way as he slowly and cautiously walked towards the noise, wearing only his underwear, (I giggle now as it was kind of a funny sight) and then the flash light shone a spot light on a large skunk coming out of the bag and David later told me that it gave him a look that said, “WHAT?” and then waddled away into the forest. David picked up the bag, which was rich with a skunky odor and took it to the recycling bin, which we should have done the night before but we were lazy. Then he washed his hands in the tap by the washrooms and came back under the light of the moon. The kids slept through the whole thing and the next morning listened to the story with regret that they hadn’t seen another wild creature.
Well the whole point of this post is not to bash those who choose a different camping experience (and thank heavens we all want something different in life) but to note the difference in various life choices.The contrast if you will. The bottom line is: did I have a great camping experience with my family? YES! It was amazing. Our best EVER!, especially since it didn’t take a lot of effort to plan or unpack from and it certainly didn’t cost us anything since we had invested in our two tents years ago along with our sleeping bags.
Here’s a glimpse into some of our camping memories:
Sometimes all you need is a log….Kathryn found her’s
Victoria posing for the camera before crashing into the lake….thank heavens the girls are good swimmers this year!
David and Will returning from their long voyage….Will swam in beside the boat…check out how smoky it is…camp fires burning in the interior of our Province but really impacted our air quality
We grabbed a few pool toys before we left home and the kids enjoyed just floating
William and Grace just talking at the camp fire…albeit no camp fires this summer
Grace snaps a photo of us sitting on a log…our nature trail hike
Most teenagers would hate no showers for days but Grace was a good sport about roughing it
The kids were excited about the fungus they found on this tree….reminded them of the fungus we found on the trees on Vancouver Island last summer
Our kids can find ice cream miles away…this floating store rented boats, sold fishing tackle AND ice cream!!!
So now that we are back from holidays I’ve been reflecting on the stuff we surround ourselves with….
Less stuff, more life is my motto!
While we were gone, our older son’s who had to work, held down the fort and cared for our cat and the chickens…Ryuuki our Siamese is so happy that we are home. Watching cats will give you a clue to living the good life….they nap a lot!
Other than having a great camping holiday, the interesting spin off when we returned was recognizing the contrast between a simple outdoor life and returning to a house full of stuff. Upon returning, after a great night’s sleep in my comfy bed, I was tempted to throw myself into a massive declutter project, I resisted. Instead, we are focusing on building a rock wall in our backyard. (I’ll write about that in my next post) Also, I want to just enjoy the beautiful weather and the few weeks I have with the kids at home. We are not a homeschooling family, although we certainly have not taken the summer off and working with our children on their reading, writing, math, music, drawing, painting, and doing summer activities, like tennis and swimming has filled up our days. Grace is currently doing her Bronze Cross course at our recreation center, I’ve been doing yoga classes whenever I have some free time (bringing Grace too) and William starts cello camp next week. Our days are full! All the more reason to surround ourselves with less…
Less time maintaining and cleaning everything, less stress worrying about things breaking and having to replace them (with a family of 8 kids, something is always breaking or falling apart) Less time making choices, and of course that means…less stress in life. More time and energy to do what we love. Also, this year I would really like to make little differences in the community and how can I do that if I’m always cleaning or organizing what we own?
So as soon as the kids are back in school, I’m throwing myself into my decluttering project.
Besides, it’s been awhile since I did a thorough cleaning and decluttering job, and well things accumulate even if you are careful with what you are bringing into the house. .
If you are walking a similar path as I, or are interested in letting go of some of your stuff for a richer life, you may be interested in a book that I’ve been reading since returning home. It’s Joshua Becker’s new book called, “The More of Less” (Finding the life you want under everything you own)
It talks about how Joshua got on the minimalist path to begin with, like his first book, but gives more wise advice how to get off the materialist path and back into really living fully
Don’t carry what you don’t need, in your pocket, in your home, in your heart
There were certainly more of these little guys everywhere than less….but the little kids were so happy to see them popping up and smiling for the camera
Before I close I wanted to link Joshua Becker’s Youtube video titled, “The More of Less.” Check it out and maybe like me, once summer fades away, you will join me in moving room to room in your home and make some choices on what you want to surround yourself with. Isn’t life about living and not accumulating?
Until we meet again, may you be well, happy and peaceful.
We are off on our summer camping holiday tomorrow but before I go, I wanted to write a quick post to share something with my blogging friends and family.
Tomorrow will be David and my 35th wedding anniversary.
Yes, on July 31, 1982 we started our life together.
Crazy young kids at age 23 (him) and me (22)
I can remember feeling so excited by what life would have to offer us
We fit from the beginning and I just knew we were meant to be life partners
I can hardly believe it.
I know this sounds silly, but I don’t even feel 35 years old and certainly don’t feel as if I have been married that long. But oh, time is an interesting thing and it marches on, even though we feel timeless.
Ever since I attended my 30th grad reunion recently, I’ve been very conscious of THIS moment in time. It’s precious. I awake feeling joyous, so happy I want to cry. Have you ever had that experience? I luxuriate with David next to me. He’s been working really hard lately and is getting up so early to go to work that we never even have 15 minutes to be awake, lying still next to each other. It’s always, go, go, go, around here. This morning, surprisingly no little people could be heard, so I curled up against David, who was still moving in and out of sleep, and realized we still fit together perfectly after all these years. Laying my head against his chest, I could hear, the “thump, thump,”of his heart.
That beat and his breath moving in and out of his body are fragile and reminds me that life in our human form is not infinite. We only have a short time in reality to live our life and make our memories. But what are memories, but an opportunity for us to linger back to another time and often, isn’t it odd, when we look back they appear even more golden? This thought occurred to me recently and became more profound when I had some insights into my past after leaving my hometown for my high school reunion.
David at Goat River in Creston, at my recent Grad reunion
It’s too bad that we often look back with rose coloured glasses at our past and aren’t able to wear them in the moment. I want NOW, to be tinted with roses. I guess that is one of the reasons that I’ve taken the time to get back into my yoga practice and my meditation this summer; because I want to be excruciatingly conscious of this moment being perfect and light filled. But it’s not always rosy. I get frustrated and angry and sometimes the smallest thing can really irk me.
But that’s okay. That’s part of life too and recently at the end of one of my yoga classes, the teacher reminded me of a lovely affirmation, “I am perfect, just as I am!”
Thinking about it now makes me smile and bow my head.
Right now, as I type this post, David is off buying groceries and whatever camping supplies we need for our trip. I’ve been rallying the troops to gather up tents, sleeping bags, foam mattresses, etc. When I went to feed the chickens
though I got side tracked in the garden and realized in shock that my beans REALLY needed to be picked.Like now! And although I had a million things to do inside the house, I knew if I didn’t take the time now to pick the beans, they would be too woody when we returned and thereby useless to process.
One of my blue lake bush bean patches…thank heavens I had the knowledge to do some successive planting
So using the large bucket I had taken full of water/apple cider vinegar for the chickens, I started to pick beans. At first I was pulling them off aggressively, trying to get the chore done quickly and get back to my list, but then I brushed next to one of my lavender plants and a whiff of the fresh, woodsy scent filled my nostrils and took me back in time.
My grandma Clark was picking beans next to me. She was wearing one of her pastel, floral cotton dresses, which was covered by a light weight apron with deep side pockets, which I knew often had a stick of Wriggly’s peppermint gum inside. She was bent over with a stainless steel colander next to her and was picking beans with a light, easy rhythm.
She smiled over at me, her nose crinkling.
Up until I’d stepped into the garden, it had been a bit of a hectic morning. So much for the precious moment lying next to David listening to his heart beat. David had left and I was in charge of gathering everything for our trip….plus making some zucchini bread, some cookies, feeding the cat, the chickens, watering the gardens, my potted flower plants, plus I wanted to whip through the house and leave it nice and clean. The children were trying to help but it was a bit like herding chickens getting them to stay focused on whatever task was in front of them. Then they started hauling way too much out of their bedrooms and I had to reinforce that this was a MINIMALIST camping trip. Food, Tents, Swim suits and PJ’s, a deck of playing cards, a few books,(we love to read when camping) and yes, I said, “you can bring ONE stuffed lovie.”
So when I headed into the garden patch I was feeling a bit frazzled. Oh, so much to do and I really wanted to have everything pulled together before David returned. My to do list was rolling in my head like a whirling dervish. Breathing the lavender slowed me down and yes, it’s so true that it is a calming herb.
I need it EVERYWHERE!
Then Grandma said in her perfectly enunciated English, “Was it not just a few hours ago that you were feeling very happy and at peace? What happened?” as she continued her slow methodical picking of beans.
I looked over to where she had been picking and she had vanished but her question remained. I thought of her and how she had lived her life?. What were her stressful, hectic moments like and how did she react to them as she lived with my grandfather and they raised my Dad and his 3 siblings? I think I understood why she filled satchels with lavender for the linen closet and enjoyed chewing peppermint gum.
In those days there were no modern conveniences and certainly no technology to make life easier. Maybe moving at a slower pace had allowed them to be more aware of the simple things in life being very precious. Like lying next to your husband on a Sunday morning or guiding a bunch of children through some tasks. I would have loved to have had more time with her but she died when I was only seven and I will never have a first hand experience of asking her about her life. She has been gone for 50 years now but she lives on in my memory, and in my love of gardening. She left a legacy, hopefully I can pass that on to our children.
And then it all circled back to David and our time together. I’m living golden moments now and don’t need time to make them shinier. I know this is it and when he comes back from all the gathering supplies, I’m going to give him and hug, a kiss and tell him how much I love him.
And after gathering all the beans, (and thank heavens for successive planting as they aren’t all ready at the same time, whew!)
A bucket full of beans and eggs….looks like we are having beans for dinner AND I’m blanching beans for the freezer…so thankful for the food in our garden!
I got the kids to stop all their chores and come out to the garden to enjoy a bit of this glorious summer morning. They skipped around their gardens and admired their zinnias starting to bloom, and Will realized that the corn is finally taller than him. Grandma was back with me and together we watched the kids dance around the yard, smiling, breathing. The moment was brilliant as I was extremely conscious that we are planting seeds for the future and some day, our children will pull them out of their pocket, (maybe with a stick of peppermint gum) and scatter them around the next generation of people on earth.
Wow, Will’s corn is taller than him, when did that happen?
Kate and I are happy to see that her beans are NOT ready to pick yet…still lots of flowers
Victoria’s zinnia’s are starting to flower and are so beautiful….but the quail are into her lettuce, oh no! despite the hardware cloth barrier…what to do?
The girls smell their flowers
Oh, David is back and here I am typing….I must go but before I do, I want to say in writing,
In June, the day of our son Harrison’s graduation, David and I…married almost 35 years!
“Happy Anniversary David! I’m so grateful to have lived a lifetime with you and I pray to have many more golden moments with you. Thank you for all our shining memories and our beautiful children. This lifetime reflection with you, and raising our children has given me a mirror unto my soul.
Until we meet again, may you be well, happy and peaceful. (and I hope you too take a moment to say, “I love you,” to your special people in your life. We never know when our time together will end.
Welcome to my homestead! Gates are a big things around here lately. They keep things in and they allow others to move through them with ease. I hope your summer’s gate is opening gently.
Gates allow us to enter an new experience…sometimes that experience is AHHHH! the chickens got out!
I don’t know about you, but summer is flying by in my part of the world. Before August arrives though, I thought I would give you an update on what’s been going on around here and also share what may be around the corner. If you dropped in for a piece of my Broccoli and Three Cheese Quiche, scroll down to the bottom of the page, but I hope you come back for a longer visit next time.
If you can stay….
Come, let me pour you some sun ice tea and join me for a visit.
After this picture was taken, David secured our wobbly front yard chairs, finally ’cause we have been eating outside a lot this summer and these are my fav chairs to sit in, the arm rest holds a glass of ice tea perfectly!
Well, back to the visit,
I have to ask you,
do you like chickens?
We love our chickens!
Sadie, (always in the middle of all the pictures) and Clara and Annie check out some lavender which I put in their nest boxes
“Sadie, (aka, Sweet Girl), Cocoa, Clara and Annie,” are a huge part of our family, much to the dismay of our Siamese Cat, “Ryukki.” Ever since they moved into our back forty last year, he doesn’t meander as often into the back garden. No, now he seems to prefers sitting on the deck, perusing their activities from above, like a king on his cushion. When he does venture passed their coop, he haughtily holds up his head, his tail flicking, as he ignores their existence.
But, just like us, I think he finds them intriguing.
And while we love our chickens, the challenge with chickens is that they don’t co-habit well with a garden. At least in an orderly fashion.
Oh no!
Their favourite activities are digging holes and having dirt baths, scratching up worms but in the process preventing seeds from germinating, and then there is the bathroom issue, ahem, they go WHEREVER they want.
Our girls digging along our cedar hedge. In the summer time they love sleeping under these bushes
No chickens are not ideal if you are wanting a well groomed garden and certainly not a good idea if for instance you enjoy walking barefoot in your yard.
The other thing about chickens are once you get them, it’s a bit like that book I read to my kids, “If you give a mouse a cookie, he will want milk to go with it,” etc.
Once we finally decided to get chickens, we had to have a brooder box, a little water font, a small feeder, then a coop, then a larger run, a bigger feeder, then a water font, and then it’s winter and they need a heated water font, and a heat lamp, well, you get the idea.
Who would have thought that they are high maintenance critters.
ALSO,
If you have chickens, and a garden, you may need a fence, or a larger run for them.
All through winter as I kept my chickens alive in our back forty, despite our very cold, often 20 and 30 below weather, I thought about the challenges they pose as I trudged through the snow with their fresh water and food. What to do about my love of chickens and my love for a garden?
So this spring before we planted the veggie garden, I knew we had to do something to keep everyone happy. Especially after reading the book below last winter I knew we had to set things up differently.
(The book above, “Free -Range Chicken Gardens,” by Jesse Bloom, is an informative book with beautiful photos. Reading it last winter made me think chickens and gardens go together harmoniously, but setting both up takes some planning.)
You see, I wanted to let them have some freedom and exercise but knew they would mostly need to be “cooped” up so I finally came up with a plan to add an extension to their current roomy coopy cottage.
The only other big problem was that I started working at my gardening gig the day after Earth day (April 23rd) and our family was extremely busy with various family commitments and activities. Then the kids got sick, which I wrote about a few posts back, “layering faith.” Add to that, I also wanted to build additional raised beds and get my little kids involved in gardening this year.
After David and the boys ripped up the plants above the pool this spring, since the retaining wall is falling apart and has to be rebuilt, he got working on building new raised garden beds. While he did this, I prepared the garden spaces I did have, I moved my strawberries to two of the new raised garden beds and then I planted my garden.
DAvid putting his new chainsaw to good use
Some of the stumps weighed several hundred pounds
And this project is NEXT now that the chickens have their new run
The little kids and their garden beds
Sadie likes to get into every photo…it’s uncanny how she creeps into pictures!
Early July, the raised beds are just starting to grow
The whole time we were out doing projects in the yard our girls/chicks were looking out through their hardware cloth walls and saying, “Bok, Bok, Bok.” I would let them out for short stints to run around the yard, nibble grass and dig where they were allowed. I always had the garden hose, with a dynamite spray head on hand if they got into my newly planted garden.
I let my green onions return for the 2nd year and as you can see in the foreground they are turning to seed….I love collecting seeds. This is a picture of the garden next to the pool in early July…things are just coming up
Did you know chickens are smart! They knew exactly where they were allowed to roam and quickly caught on that mom’s garden beds were OFF LIMITS. And yet, they could be found glancing at me to see if the rules had changed as they tried to casually wander, “pluck, pluck, pluck,” into garden territory, only to be shocked and offended when a spray of water hit them. I would be standing there, garden hose in hand, yelling in my mom voice, “No chickens in the garden!” They are just like my kids, I don’t know how many times I’ve told them to close the gate after themselves so the chickens don’t get out! and they always act like they never heard this request before as we are madly chasing the chickens around our side and front yard.
Finally, most of the projects were completed and David bought some framing lumber, some hardware cloth and got down to framing. But it was slow going. (THE cool thing is that Harrison, our 18 year old has been working at Home Depot so we are there a lot dropping him off and picking him up)
The plan was to build another 6′ by 6′ run at the end of their current coop and you would think, no big deal.
I didn’t think it would take long but it took forever to find a few free days to get the framing done.
This spring….
We had birthday parties.
On May 20th the twins turned 6 years old
And we had concerts….
Victoria and Kathryn playing at their year end concert
The theme for the Country Fair was Fiesta so Will wore a Canadian flag and a Sombrero…since we are celebrating Canada’s 150 year old birthday this year…and well a Sombrero says…party like nothing else…the little girls had Mardi Gras beads and fancy glasses for their Fiesta costume…Grace went as a teenager…enough said
And then there was the Country Fair at our cool historic music school. Will played cello, the little girls played piano and Grace sang beautifully with her choir.
Then there were…..
Visits from family. Auntie B and Uncle J…and puppy, Dugan. Wish you were closer~
Soccer games, this is Harrison’s last year playing with the North Okanagan soccer group
And more soccer….
Victoria hamming it up for the camera
All the little kids played soccer this year.
Oh, then there was a graduation. Our son Harrison completed grade 12 and is off to University in September.
Alyssa and Mitchell (our older kids on the Island) sent their best wishes and our oldest son Clark was working on this day but the rest of the gang was here, David and I with Harrison,Grace, Will, Kate and Tori
Congratulations Harrison!
And as if this weren’t enough, we had more birthday parties….William turned eight!
And wanted to go and climb some walls for his birthday experience
Oh and then there was the year end ballet recital….
Victoria and Kathryn danced to the song, “It’s a Small World.” (Year two of dance)
Then there were the final year end school activities….
At the beach…I relented and bought them a ice drink with vanilla ice cream in it
Bittersweet…the year end wrap up for the kindergarten class. Welcome Summer! When they return to school they will be big grade one kids
And around this time was also Grace’s grade 8, RCM piano exam, my gardening gig wrap up, somewhere in all there was Mother’s day and Father’s day and at the beginning of July, my grad reunion back in my hometown of Creston and FINALLY, a BIG 150 birthday celebration for Canada.
Happy 150th Birthday Canada….our flag on our deck
.
It was a activity rich spring and early summer, hence my lack of blogging. I find it hard to live life fully, and blog about it. I would REALLY like to meet real life bloggers who are actively writing. I would ask, “Where in the heck do you find time to write?”…and then live the life you are blogging about?”
Did I mention that during this entire time I was also writing with a group of lovely women at the historic old Caetani house…which is a mecca for the arts?
Yep! but hold your breath for my memoir or first novel.
FIRST…..
We need to build a chicken run.
Throughout all the activities and projects we had on the go, our beautiful chickens were patient.
Of course they ARE spoiled chickens, even if they are mostly cooped up. I bring them treats from the garden; kale, lettuce, swiss chard, spinach, lemon balm, and now that we are into berry season they are eating luscious strawberries and raspberries. Then every night they get a bedtime snack which varies but their fav is sunflower, pumpkin seeds, and Cocoa LOVES raisins.
When David and I returned from Creston, and my grad reunion, he finally got down to business. Once he starts rolling with a project, he puts every waking hour into it and recently he was able to attach their addition, which he mostly built and painted in the garage.
It would have been easier had our property been level but everything is on a slope and he had to build up the area with landscape ties before securing the addition.
Okay, drum roll please…..
And here is how it turned out….
Here is their new addition…the roof is a lovely lattice work top which allows the sun to shine on our chickens….and offers a bit of shade too (the wood parts are white washed so they are protected and the top was a sage green stain)
Now they have extra space and yes I wish I had pictures of their expression when they checked out the expanded real estate. Did you know chickens can smile? “Bok, Bok, Bok.” In the mornings I find them enjoying the first rays of the sun and digging their beloved holes in the dirt.
One of my raspberry bushes hedges is beside them and then I’m also growing some pumpkins next to their run.
Here’s a peek through the plum trees at the new run. In time the trees with give them more shade which will be lovely on a hot day
Well, now that the run is built, our next project is to take down the old landscape tie walls above the pool. Since we have chosen to build a river bed rock retaining walls, like many of the other walls throughout our yard, it’s going to be a big project. When it’s done, I can see herbs, perennials, and vegetables all growing lushly. I even have a day dream of watermelon and cantaloupe growing in this bed, since it gets full sun and there is good irrigation. Wouldn’t it be cool to be down at the pool and have guests over and ask them if they wanted some watermelon and then just going and picking one off the vine?
I will keep you in the loop on our progress. It’s going to take the rest of the season to accomplish this wall and probably well into fall too.
But getting back to summer and chickens. We have been really lucky to have such great layers and what to do with all those nutritious eggs? Well, vegetable quiche of course.
Every day we usually get 3 or 4 eggs which is not tons…but keeps us in eggs for baking and the occasional quiche
I have made several quiche over the last few months and they are delicious. The texture is beautiful and I find the combination of broccoli and cheese perfect. Who doesn’t like cheese with broccoli? Also, they are such an easy thing to make the night before and you can easily warm them up for dinner the next day. Perfect for summer. Just add a salad, some fruit and you have a wonderful meal. But here is my warning. Don’t expect……
ANY
leftovers!
Wahhhhhhh!
But it’s all good, since everyone is smiling before dinner and it’s a light meal when it’s boiling hot outside, like today and you want something but nothing too heavy.
The only thing a bit time consuming is making homemade pie crust but I have found a no fail, always flaky recipe for pie crust.
Come on….
Want to join me in the kitchen and we will make some pastry? I use the Tenderflake lard and the recipe is on the box.
It’s perfect every time!
Pastry for two pies (You can always freeze one of the quiche if you want to as well)
Ingredients
2 3/4 cups of all purpose flour
1 tsp salt
1/2 pound of Tenderflake lard
1 egg, stirred slightly
1/2 tbsp of vinegar
A bit under 1/2 cup of cold water
Directions
1. Mix the flour and salt
2. Cut the lard in with a pastry blender until the shortening is pea size pieces
3. Crack an egg in a measuring cup, stir, add the vinegar
4. Add cold water to make 1/2 cup
5. Stir the liquid into the flour mixture, but mix until the dough is forming a ball, don’t over mix
6. Take ball and break into 2 portions. Cover and refrigerate 1 hour
7 Pull it out and let sit at room temperature for 10 minutes, being mindful not to use too much
flour, sprinkle it on a flat surface and roll the dough evenly. When rolled out transfer to your pie
pie plates
Broccoli and Three Cheese Quiche
Ingredients (double for 2 pies)
2 tbsp of olive oil
2 cloves minced garlic
1 chopped onion
3 – 4 cups of broccoli
4 eggs
1 cup of half and half or whole milk
1/2 cup of Parmesan cheese
1/2 cup grated cheddar cheese
1/2 cup grated mozzarella cheese
1 tbsp of dried dill
Salt and pepper to taste
Directions
Saute garlic and onions in oil in a frying pan. Add broccoli, salt and pepper and cook for a few minutes
While broccoli is cooking, stir eggs and half and half together in a bowl
Once broccoli is lightly tender, place it in the bottom of your prepared unbaked pie crust.
Add the egg and half and half mixture to the broccoli, then sprinkle with the cheese. I put the cheddar down first, then the mozzarella, and finally the Parmesan on the very top….add then sprinkle the dill and you are ready to bake in a preheated oven at 350 degrees for 45 to 50 minutes.
Ta Da!
That was easy hey? And it’s a good thing as it gets eaten in a blink of an eye around here.
Dig in!
Well that wraps up my update. Before you go, want to hear an old song that I remember being played on the radio when I was a child? Warning, it may linger with you…. It reminds me of long days, warm sun and lemonade. I hope you enjoy listening to “A Theme from a Summer’s Place by Percy Faith.” Click the hyper-link if you can click below.
Until we meet again, may you be well, peaceful and happy.
Have you heard of the toys called, “Fidget Spinners?” If you are not in the kid realm, I’ll clue you in. “Fidget spinners” are small, ball-bearing devices that the user can rotate between his or her fingers. The momentum of the toy provides a pleasing sensory experience Originally the spinners were marketed as an aide for individuals with anxiety, autism or ADHD, which is basically everyone. I don’t know about you, but few people I know are free from anxiety these days.
What a GREAT marketing strategy~!
My son William, who just turned 8 years old at the end of June, desperately wanted a spinner. “ALL,” the kids at school have them he said, and besides he thought they looked so cool. I resisted buying him one for the longest time. Ever since our last BIG garage sale two years ago, when we did a mass de-clutter, and I started on a more minimalist path, I’ve been REALLY trying to be mindful of what we purchase.
Another thing that influenced me/us, was that we had walked this path with our older children. I remember the Bay blade craze and the mad scramble one Christmas for one type of Lego, Bionicle figure. I knew that it was only a matter of weeks that this toy too would start collecting dust in the corner of a closet and I would be the one to unearth it and in time, decide it’s value and where it was to go after my son stopped playing with it.
What made me cave was my son William. When his birthday drew near we had a conversation about what he wanted to do on his special day and what he would really like for a gift. He looked at me with his clear blue eyes, his blonde curls circling his sweet face and he said, “mom, whatever you get me, I will love.”
Ahhhhhhhhh!
That was it, I was going to make his dreams come true. I was going to find him a fidget spinner.
William’s face as he unwrapped his fidget spinner (and we bought him the fidget cube too) was ecstatic For the next two weeks, that red, spinning toy was always at the end of his finger. I would try to talk with him and he would be totally absorbed in the activity of flicking his finger so his spinner would move faster.
We choose experiences over a big party with friends and he wanted to go climbing walls with his sisters
Our son is always reaching new heights
After the climbing party, it was a dip in the pool,
And now for his strawberry shortbread birthday cake…Will LOVES strawberries!!!
“This was the BEST day EVER!!!” said Will at the end of his 8th birthday
One night I came into his bedroom after he had been tucked away for the night and a brilliant spinning rainbow filled light was floating in the dark. Rats, I knew we shouldn’t have bought the one with a LED light inside so not only was he obsessed during the day, the fidget spinner was keeping him from sleeping at night.
Now for some children this toy may be fine but I found it was a distraction in our home and instead of helping him focus, he seemed more scattered. and even restless, moving his body, as he spun. When we were talking to him, he would be flicking his spinner and there would be no eye contact. Also, I found he was getting annoyed more often, especially if he was directed to do something and he had to put the spinner down.
I decided to sit down and have a talk with him. He was surprised to hear that I thought the spinner had negative effects on him. Reluctantly, he agreed to take a break from it for awhile. He put it in one of the drawers in his room and agreed to spend more time playing his cello, reading, playing basketball, board games and card games with his sisters, swimming in the pool, riding bikes and his new scooter, which was the other gift we gave him for his birthday.
Shortly after that, we picked up a wonderful book at the library that we had read last winter but I never acted on it. It always surprises me how things and people are put on our path,exactly when they are needed. “Peaceful Piggy”, by Kerry Lee Mclean, is a lovely story about little pigs who find life sometimes too busy and stressful. When the little piggies starts to sit and focus on their breathing, they suddenly find they are more relaxed and feel calmer.
They are smiling.
The kids loved the book and also wanted to try the experiment suggested at the end of the book. We got a big pickle jar and filled it with water. We watched how clear and clean it was in the jar.
Looking at the clear water, I got them to think of it as their mind, during a quiet moment.
Then I had them add a bit of sand from their sandbox. Each tiny grain is one of our thoughts. Some are happy, some are sad, some are exciting, and some are dark and angry thoughts. They all effect how we feel.
Then we put a lid on the jar and shook it up and watched everything swirling around faster and faster. I told them that this was their mind in a hurry. It doesn’t look too good; muddy and cloudy. Then we let everything settle to the bottom of the jar. This is our mind during meditation.
We watched the thoughts settle to the bottom, leaving the jar, (our mind) look lighter and clearer. I told them that when we settle our thoughts during meditation, all the yucky parts of our day fall to the bottom and we can move through our days with clearer thinking and feeling lighter. Feeling lighter helps us move through our days more peacefully and we are able to flow through our challenging times and adjust to life’s changes easier.
After that exercise, we practiced meditating together. It was fun. We lit a candle and I put a soft CD on and rang a little bell. I asked the kids to focus on their breath, in and out, slowly, s l o w l y. When thoughts come to the surface I suggested the kids shift them out of the way by saying a mantra; the one I suggested is “So Hum,” which means “I am,” in Sanskrit.
At the end of the session, I had the children join together in making a wish and at the count of three, blow out the candle together. The next day after lunch they asked, “is it time to meditate?”
Since then there have been wonderful spin offs, no pun intended after talking about the fidget spinner, but when my children have a frustrating moment, or get angry about something, all I have to do is say, “So Hum,” and they stop and take a deep, slow breathe. When they slow down they are able to look at the situation and how they are reacting to it. What an amazing gift! Also, the look on William’s face AFTER his first meditation sessions, relaxed and serene was the answer I had been looking for.
Now I don’t want to bash the fidget spinner, used for short sessions, it’s fun and teaches kids about physics etc, but what I discovered was that instead of us filling our kids lives with a kaleidoscope of spinning activities, maybe just sitting and breathing is one of the best activities we can encourage them to do this summer.
Be still,
And know,
I AM.
I think teaching children that they are powerful beings, (So hum) is sustainable and that is really what this blog is about.(Helping Our Planet Earth) I want my kids to feel like they have total control over how they view their world and their choices they make on their path.
The quote I started this blog post with is, “If every eight year old is taught meditation in the world, we will eliminate violence from the world within one generation.” ~Dalai Lama~
Well I have an eight year old, AND my greatest wish FOR HIM, is that there is peace in the world.
While I want my children well educated, and to develop talents and gifts that will build their self confidence, I think the most important thing I could ever give them is a light illuminating a path to themselves. The bread crumbs to their soul is their breath. So I don’t know about you, but that fidget spinner is staying in the drawer this summer, and the kids and the kids and I am going to be still together and breathe.
The benefits of meditation for children are HUGE. And this quote from an article called, “Five Reasons Children need to meditate.” says it all. “Did you know that regular practice of meditation has several beneficial effects on our children’s emotional, mental and intellectual development? Yes, it helps children tune into themselves, sleep better and develop better social interactions.”
What is funny to me about this is, if it cost something, maybe we would put more value in it. If we had to stand in line to get it, we would desire it more and if it was hard to find, we would all want it. But, the amazing thing is it is free for all of us. It’s easy, obtainable, and something we all have access to. I don’t know about you, but I want THAT for my kids;
Peace of mind, peace in the world.
Thankfully summer is the perfect time to introduce such a practice.
Want to join us?
If you would like to listen to the “Peaceful Piggy,” story I found a Youtube video which I have linked below. If you have a little one in your life, watch it with them and ask them to sit with you for a few minutes, focus on their breath and find a mantra that works for you. .
Until we meet again, may you be well, happy and be a peaceful piggy too.
Have you ever lived in a place, or has there ever been a time in your life when you felt totally grounded? You know that feeling of belonging, when everything is humming YOUR tune? Everyone is supportive, and even if there are those who aren’t singing your song, you are strong enough to carry the main chorus line and belt out the words, even if you are a bit off key?
Isn’t it a great place to be?
It’s feels like coming home.
It’s like knowing this was the place you were meant to be.
I recently was fortunate to be able to return to what I call my home town. It wasn’t a place where I was born, nor was it a place where I lived for many years. And in the scope of my life, I was only there for a brief moment in time. Those five years, from when I was twelve to almost eighteen, were long enough for me to know I had found my place in the world.
After my father was killed in a company truck accident on the Hope/Princeton highway when I was five years old, life as I knew it was shattered. The next year my mother moved my next oldest sister and I to the nearby, larger community of Chilliwack. We left behind my other two older sisters. One was finishing high school and the oldest, was starting her banking career with the Bank of Montreal in Hope.
My memories of our time in Chilliwack were dark and lonely. I felt lost and was desperately trying to find my footing in the world. Nothing about my new community or the people in it made me feel safe or secure. I tried to fit in by joining our church choir and making some neighbourhood friends, but it never felt like home. Thankfully, that depressing time of my childhood ended six years later, when my mom married my step dad, “Bud,” (John Ray Finch who was a Customs Officer) and we started our new life together in the small town of Creston, where Bud had been transferred with the Federal Government.
Creston, is a small, quaint town (at the time the population was well under 5,000 people) located in the South Eastern corner of British Columbia in the Kootenay region, nestled between the towering Purcell and Selkirk mountain ranges. When we moved there, I’m sure there were only a few traffic lights through main street and everyone stopped to visit at the downtown post office to catch up on the latest happenings. It was the kind of place that when you moved into a neighbourhood in the morning, by dinner time, most of the town folk knew your story better than you did yourself.
The thing I loved about it best, was when there was a tragedy, the whole town came together to deal with whatever crisis was afoot. This coming together was the strong backbone of Creston. Early in it’s history, as the town’s economy grew, the criminal element arrived, but in October 1925, when two men attempted to rob the Imperial Bank of Canada, the entire community, including school children, banded together to capture the robbers and half of the stolen money.
Capturing a bit of the farm land as we drove into town….see the blue flax flowers next to the cement barrier
That kind of strong community caring was the heart of Creston then and now.
When a new baby was born, the whole town rejoiced and when one of Creston’s own passed away, the whole town grieved. It was a place where everyone was connected (many were related!) and each person made a difference in the lives of others.
What made everything even more perfect, at least for me, was the historic old character home we purchased at the top of the hill on 11th Avenue. As soon as I walked around the beautifully landscaped 1/2 acre property, with curving driveway, I knew I had found my place in the world. Swinging high on the large wooden swing, centered between two tall elm trees at the back of the property, it felt like the house was welcoming me home.
The house had been built around 1910 and retained the charm of formality and distinction of the era. After having shared a small house with my mom and older sister J in Chilliwack, I happily settled into this grand house and luxuriated in my huge upstairs bedroom that had views out to the garden from two sides. My mom decorated my room in cool floral purple and greens, popular in the 70’s and. I covered my walls with posters that would light up above my glowing black light. My favourite poster was one of the cartoonist’s, Charles Schulz’s dog, “Snoopy,” dancing with his nose in the air, surrounded by flowers and the sentiment under his feet was, “Feeling Groovy.”
This idyllic time in my life was shared by my contented, newlywed parents, who settled easily into this small town life and quickly became a piece of the fabric, in the old fashion quilt that made up Creston. Our home was always a social hub full of friends and visiting family, who shared in our joy and laughter. My step dad Bud used to look at me with twinkling eyes, wiggling his ears and say, “making memories,” when we were in the midst of a fun occasion.
Sadly, after 5 brief years, my step dad decided to apply for a position in the Okanagan Valley, (he had commuted to the border at Kingsgate crossing for us to live in Creston all that time and was tired of spending so much time on the road) and we sold our beautiful old home.Mom and I cried as we were packing as she too knew it had been a healing gift in our lives. My parents moved and started the next chapter of their lives with an empty nest and I stayed back in Creston to complete the latter half of grade 12. After that, since there were few opportunities for work, I moved with my girl friend Karen in her little Volkswagon bug, and we planned to seek our fortune in Calgary. It was there, that I met my husband David, and well, that is a total other story all together.
David and I have lived in many locations since then but I have never found a community or experienced a time in my life when I felt like I was living in a Norman Rockwell painting. Or at least that was my perspective, BEFORE returning to Creston. Deciding to attend my 40th grad reunion was mixed with varying emotions. The main one was that we still have young children and had to make arrangements for their care but we also had many big family events leading right up to the first long weekend in July and I didn’t know if I was going to be up to leaving the family.
Our son Harrison graduated from his high school in mid June and then there were year end music concerts, a grade 8 piano exam for our fourteen year old daughter Grace Elizabeth, a ballet recital for our youngest daughters, Kathryn and Victoria and our youngest son, William, turned eight years old on June 25th, the weekend before the reunion. Life was really busy right up until the end of the month. Add to all of this, my cool gardening gig didn’t end until mid month and I had a ton to do in my own garden….notice I haven’t blogged for ages! I went back and forth whether I would attend, then one day my husband David said, “Lee, you are going to regret it if you don’t go so contact them and tell them your coming.” With that support I made a commitment to attend the reunion.
You never know when you are going to walk through another door/gate, what you will find and what insights will be yours.
This is a picture of the gate house at the back of our old home in Creston….a wrought iron fence circles the whole property now with big stone pillars.
So with tearful goodbyes from our little ones, we headed out early on June 30th for Creston. As soon as we arrived in my little hometown and I saw the two large, now paint faded grain elevators, I knew I was home. Memories of poignant times and the people I shared those experiences with came flooding back to me as we slowly drove down main street, almost as if no time had transpired since I had left 40 years earlier.
David and I spent a bit of time driving around town seeing the new sights but really not much had changed. I was thrilled to find the Ramada hotel where we had booked was new and modern. It was on the outskirts of town where we used to board our horses and while looking out the hotel window I was thinking back to a time that I would come home from school, grab my leather bridle and putting it over my shoulder, would ride my bike out to our horse’s pasture. I’d give my big Thouroughbred/Quarter horse a handful of oats and jump on her bare back and we would head up the mountain or out along the flats.
David and I settled easily into the large hotel room with pillows turned at fancy angles and the toilet paper’s edges folded neatly. This was a nice change from our last experience at the Hacienda motel back in 1987 for our class’s ten year reunion. We freshened up for the Friday night meet and greet, which was at Jimmy’s pub downtown Creston. My palms were sweaty and I was nervous as I moved into the dimly lit banquet room and I was shocked to discover that I hardly recognized anyone. When did we get so OLD! But I guess after 30 years a lot of life had occurred for many of us. Thankfully I spotted Cheryl, who was on the grad committee. She was checking in everyone and giving the grads their name tags, which believe me, WE NEEDED! She had been so lovely welcoming me to come to the reunion even though I had missed the registration deadline by months!
Cheryl and Cindy on the Friday night meet and greet..one of the things we chatted about were “kids these days!”
David and I mulled around the room, nervously eyeing name tags but what worked best for me was looking into my classmates eyes, since I believe eyes are the windows to the soul and the soul is ageless. We had a few meaningful conversations and big hugs when I found my peeps but it had been such a long day so David and I left the pub by 10:30 and headed back to the hotel with my head reeling over the fact that I probably have aged as much as my classmates. Having young children keeps one too busy to think about aging but it was hitting me in the face….I was 57! Huh…when had that happened!
After a good sleep in the cool hotel room, it felt strange waking up on my own accord and not being slammed by three little bodies all asking whether it was a pancake or waffle Saturday. I was missing the little ones, and the big ones already but I knew I was going to be back in the throes of everyday life soon, so we got up, had breakfast and headed to Creston’s Saturday Farmer’s Market.
David picked up a freshly roasted coffee and a few fragrant baked cinnamon buns. We strolled along looking at the various vendors wares and finally stopped to admire an artist’s tent. We were fortunate to be able to have a chat with the very talented and personable, Bruce Paterson. Since the bell was just being rung for the 9 am start, we had caught Bruce still setting up and as he did, I walked around his tent while he shared a bit of his background and history. Before we left I chose one of his etchings of Creston’s famous grain elevators which you can see in the background of the picture above.
Here is the etching I picked up from Bruce’s tent….looks like a photo hey?
After that we drove up 11 Ave, to my old house on top of the hill. I had tears in my eyes as we drove around the side and the front which still has a no through road in front of it. It was still so private. David stopped the car and turned off the engine and I went down memory lane seeing my mom cutting flowers to put in her favourite crystal vase on our antique dining room table. She went in the house and my gaze went to my step dad Bud who was peacefully weeding our vegetable garden. I hadn’t realized that coming home was going to open a window of grief for my step dad who died 32 years ago, and for my mom who passed away just five years ago. She would have loved to have seen our old home again. It felt good to know someone must love the house as much as we did, since the house and grounds were well cared for.
My bedroom was the upstairs one on the left of the house with a view over the front and side yard
It was nice to see that the owners had retained the driveway that wrapped around the house
The little playhouse beside the raised beds was the scene for some great sleepover parties in the summer
This is the view from the side of the yard from 11th Ave….the trees have grown tall and broad
Mom would have loved this lush clematis and flowers in the front yard
The tall elm trees that used to ring the drive way are long gone due to the Dutch Elm disease but it’s nice to see that other trees were planted. I love the gate house…makes it feel like a manor
Still reeling from memories, we drove down to Goat River where I used to ride my horse Blondie on a hot summer’s day. My horse friends would join me and we would swim with our horses and spend the entire day cooling off in the deep pools and slow moving river. Relaxing on a log, David and I ate our cinnamon buns and drank our tea/coffee. My beautiful Palomino has been gone for years now but she lived again in my memories while visiting the river.
David scouring the river side beach, looking for small boulders for my garden
David and I at Goat River…isn’t this what teens do now….selfie shots?
Then we headed into town and grabbed sandwiches and drinks and headed up to Kootenay Lake where as a teen, I used to congregate with the rest of my class. While I couldn’t find our old beach turn off at, “Twin Bays,”instead we drove far up the lake and found a great Provincial park We ate our lunch beside a creek, which was tree-lined and dappled by the sun shining through the branches.
After that we found a almost deserted beach and spent most of the afternoon talking about our childhoods and I shared many more Creston memories with David. Everywhere I went the memories kept flooding back. Being on that beach reminded me of a time that I went across the lake with some friends and we spent the weekend camping in our own summer commune. We played music using a generator, roasted hot dogs and marshmallows and for the first time I started to feel what it would be like to be an adult since I had recently graduated and my days were my own.
David at a beach on Kootenay lake…do you think those rocks in the foreground are too big to bring back to the Okanagan?
David and I stop at a tourist spot up at Kootenay Lake
When we returned to town, we toured around the countryside and inhaled the farm and agriculture life, which is still the main force in the area’s economy. For instance, the area produces the largest crop of cherries in the Northern hemisphere, which surprised me since I thought the area I live in, (the Okanagan Valley) was leading the cherry production. It was nice to see quaint Organic farms and cottage- like industries established all over the rural area. Obviously people had discovered the charm of Creston and with some creativity, were creating a sustainable lifestyle. It made me smile to see Creston thriving.
We returned to our hotel rather tired after a hot day touring but more than that, surprisingly there was a lot of emotion swirling around my head. It was nice to walk into our air-conditioned hotel room and after having a warm bath, we slipped under the white sheets and had a late afternoon siesta. When was the last time we napped? It felt like pure luxury! Waking up rather late and a bit groggy, we hurriedly dressed for the evening event and headed for the Creston Golf and Country Club. It was a lovely venue along another beautiful country road, even if the mosquitos were bad but hey, where can you go this summer to escape their invasion?
I was hungry after a day of touring around, so it was really nice to be seated in an area that was first up to eat. The food was delicious but I was more interested in hearing about everyone’s lives who were seated at our table. We talked about our communities, children, grand children, work life, retired life, and of course high school memories.
As the evening unfolded it was lovely to catch up with my classmates. It was interesting discovering where they now called home, whether they had found a partner in life, if they had had families, what they had chosen to do for a living and what their dreams were now. I looked into the beautiful, expressive eyes of one of my dear friends and asked, “Loren, are you happy?” and her smile said it all before she nodded and said, “oh yeah.”
That is all I truly wished for my classmates; for them to be happy; for them to have come home to themselves.
Our grad coordinating committee were amazing!…here playing a few trivial games during dinner….Cheryl and Ellen are those types of people who like great wine, just get better with time. Thanks for all your hard work!
“Loren, are you happy?” I asked. “Oh yeah!” she said with a huge smile while nodding her head. (Loren with partner Randall)
Alanna, it was lovely to “BEE” with you again. Seriously, you have inspired me to take a course on bee keeping for my homestead
Karen, next time we will play golf with you at the lovely Creston Golf course….I may need a few years to improve my drive
(From l to r…Bev, Jo Ellen, Loren and me…aka Hope/Lee/Debbie) I’ve known these wonderful people since grade 7….I’ll never forget when Loren asked if I wanted some of her recess snack in grade 7….you know you have found good people when they are willing to share their food!
My husband David (on the left) actually pretended jokingly that he was a fellow grad…he had convinced a few people he actually was in the class of 77 with us in Creston…such a joker! (Randall and Dave…my grad friend’s partners)
|”When twilight drops her curtain down and pins it with a star, know you have a friend somewhere, though she may wander far”…..twilight with the girls
Terry Mah and his beautiful wife, Wince Chau-Mah…life’s good!
It was lovely chatting with Debbie and her husband Gary over dinner.
Cheryl and Shirley with their beautiful smiles and sweet spirits
On the long Sunday drive back to the Okanagan, I reflected on my experience going home and realized that I hadn’t ever really left Creston. I carried a piece of Creston deep inside of me and it had been there ever since I left.You see, while I was there, it healed that little girl who was floundering to find her place in the world. It gave me a sense of belonging; gave me the courage and strength to head out on my own and create a life of my own design, with the belief that no matter where I went, I would find goodness.
Along my life’s journey I discovered that home is inside each of us and as we move through the world with a secure, loving feeling, we can help others feel that they belong too. Small town caring can change the WHOLE world and make it a better place. Who knew?
~Sometimes you find yourself in the middle of nowhere; and sometimes in the middle of nowhere you find yourself.~
Isn’t it good to be home?
Wilgress lake
On the drive back to the Okanagan, returning to our family, we stopped at the most peaceful spot; Wilgress Lake. There were two white resin chairs on the dock just calling our name. While watching the iridescent wings of the dragon flies flit around, I reflected on how great life was; there was always something incredible around the next corner. All you have to do is LET GO and sometimes you have to say, “goodbye” knowing you take a piece of everything with you.
You are always home!
Before you close, I hope you join me in listening to a song that reminds me of Creston. This is dedicated to my old hometown and the people in it. My heart says, “thank you!”
Thanks for coming to visit today. I’m sorry I’ve been in ex-communicado. In the last month, A LOT of stuff has been going on at the homestead.
Of course, Easter came and went. The kids above, William, Victoria and Kathryn with their eggs they decorated and my classic bunny cake in the fore ground….this was coconut though so it was even yummier than usual. (I will do a blog post about my coconut cake baking of late)
Then,
A month ago, on Earth day, I started working at my gardening gig.
I love it!
I love being around the plants, the people and the staff who work there.
It’s a perfect fit for me since I’m a green ambivert. I get a real high being and talking with people, especially about growing plants and helping them select flowers and veggies for their garden. It takes me into a BLISSFUL state.
You know you have found your calling when time flies and you are in BLISS.
But I also love when we have time at the garden centre to meditatively maintain the plants and the crowds have slowed down. Making the garden centre look great is also a blissful process.
These cute planters are made by one of my co-workers…she’s very creative and they were perfect for Mother’s Day!
Yes, all was well at first but ya know, when you are running the ship all year round and you take a bit of a leave, the balance shifts and the ship starts to list. When at I’m at work, the house work isn’t kept up, groceries aren’t purchased, healthy meals aren’t produced AND eaten. Then we are scrambling to take kids to school or pick them up at the end of the day and take them to their activities or in our older kids cases; THEIR jobs.
Yes JOBS.
Now it feels like our whole family is working outside the house. So grateful for the work!
Of course, like Murphy’s law the week that I start working, our oldest son Clark, who has been working part time at his Science centre job since finishing his degree last June, also gets another job. And this landscaping gig is full time and GREAT. Also, it will provide the financial boost he needs to start law school, which hopefully he will start in the fall. Fingers crossed, still waiting to hear if the ONLY law school he applied at will accept him. A whole other story! But hey, I’m holding the vision and having faith… that everything will work out there.
Anyway we are happy and excited to see more money roll in but of course my number 1 helper for driving little kids around and pitching in around the house and yard is GONE now 7 days a week. Yep, he’s been working now over 21 days straight since he has kept his weekend job going as well.
Clark helping dispose of all the stumps and roots from the plants we dug up in our beds….some were 200 hundred pounds….here are only a few
Oh, and yes, then there is also our 18 year old son, Harrison, who will graduate from high school soon and decided he needed to start looking for a job a bit before summer and beat the hordes of kids who will all be looking for summer employment. Thankfully, the first place he applied at hired him but interestingly enough his job started just a bit before I started working too. OF course! His dad is thrilled though since his part time job is at Home Depot. This massive store has to be my husband David’s favourite place to shop.There is something about being around tools, lumber and all that hardware that puts a smile on his face.
So we were happy for Harrison, even though now that he is working, it adds another twist tp our already busy schedule. But since he will be off to University soon, and can use the money from his job to offset school expenses we will be thankful. With the gain there is a loss and in this case my lawn mower, and number two cook and bottle washer in the kitchen has left the building to carry lumber and plant material to people’s cars. BOO!
So with everyone working, and our usual busy list of kid activities and school affairs, the ship was listing badly and although we weren’t drowning, I had my eyes on the lifeboats.
Then the storm came.
It was three weeks ago when I woke up out of the dead of night to hear a seal barking. Odd. Was that in my dream? As I came more fully awake, I realized it was coming from the twins room. I grabbed my robe and went to investigate. I found our tiny Kate,one of our 5 year old twins sitting up in bed barking with a terrible croupy cough.
Oh, I have heard that before. Funny none of our older children ever had it but when our 6th little one was a toddler he had several very scary croupy sessions. One night we flew him to the emergency room extremely worried we would lose him as he was turning blue trying to catch his breath. I kept thinking that I had worked so hard to finally bring him to earth and then we lose him at 18 months….. but in all the in and out of the car and the cold night air flowing, by the time we got to the hospital, while he was still coughing his colour was better.
Kate turned to me with panic in her eyes and I knew it was critical. I swooped her out of her upper loft bed, wrapped a big comforter around her and flew out our master bedroom door to our back deck and into the cold night air. Please let her breathe, was what I was thinking. As I held her close, her little body wracked with a loud barking cough. I could hear tiny gasps of breath wheezing through so I told her to take little breaths. “Little breaths Katie, little breaths.” The night air hit me like a freight train and I shivered as I held her close, pulling the comforter around her shoulders and neck. I was praying and praying that the coughing would ease and she would be able to breathe easier.
If you have ever experienced such a moment with your child, you know you pray with all your being. In my case, I was just thinking, let her live and I will be a better mom. It’s scary out there in the dark night air and not knowing if this will be enough to open up her airways. Thankfully, after what felt like hours and was really only about 1/2 hour her coughing eased but I kept her out for another 1/2 hour more until the coughing was just intermittent. Finally, I stood up with her bundled in my arms and took her to my bed. My husband hadn’t woken up at all but he has been known to sleep through all of our 8 babies crying, even the twins, so I wasn’t surprised.
I got the vaporizer set up beside my side of the bed and putting Kate on the outside of our bed, I had her face in the flow of cool air. I crawled in beside her and held her close. Somehow we drifted off to sleep. When she woke up, while she was extremely tired, the worst was over.
Or I thought!
Although she recovered, a few days later William came home coughing from school and for about a week he was under the weather but he pushed through school for a few days and then seemed to recover over the weekend. Then he returned to school but while at his first day of swimming lessons with his class, he crashed and that day his fever spiked. When I picked him up after school at the end of the day he was laying in the school office’s sick room, burning up with a fever. He kept saying to me, “I had to push through” I felt so bad because he was one sick little boy.
For two days I nursed him with Tylenol and fluids but when he didn’t improve we took him to the Dr. It was then that we discovered that his virus had turned into a bacterial infection and he was promptly put on antibiotics. Also, they wanted a chest X-ray. The next morning, I got my sick little boy dressed and I took him down to the X-ray clinic only to find out their power was out and we would have to come back.
Do you ever feel like the world is against you? Well, this was one of those times. Everything felt like it was ready to collapse. Later that day I roused him again and finally we got his x-ray done but you know your child who has TONS of energy normally, is really sick when he is quiet and listless.
Of course William wasn’t the only one sick at this point. Grace, our 14 year old was battling what we discovered was the same virus which by the weekend had worsened and when we took her to the Dr. we found out she had a throat infection and was also put on antibiotics….and William’s x-rays confirmed our worst fear; pneumonia!
I still find it interesting that Will’s infection manifested in his lungs and Grace’s in her throat. Sadly, she had been chosen to sing for a voice scholarship at our music school and she could hardly talk, let alone sing so she missed that opportunity. Why do things like this always happen?
The other kids also had varying ills; sore throats, runny noses, tired, and over all we were all falling apart.
Oh, on top of all that, did I mention that my husband David had to go out of to work for a few days AND our washing machine decided to stop working. Yes! Don’t you love it when things really fall apart?
Because that is when your faith is really TESTED!
Thankfully, my employers were so understanding and even though it’s their busy season my boss kept saying to me, “babies come first.” I was able to focus on nursing my children, making sure they took their medication, they were hydrated and once they turned the corner which was days, I was able to ease them back into eating food. Mostly smoothies at first and I made a chicken and noodle soup with ginger and on another day a minestrone.
I must have traveled from the kitchen to their rooms about 50 times a day but by the end of the week they were able to get out of bed and lay on the couch in the family room.
When I wasn’t nursing sick kids, I was sterilizing our house. I went around and washed down door handles and bathrooms and I scrubbed our house with sudsy soapy water with vinegar…everywhere. When the kids finally were feeling better, I was exhausted but I went to work for the weekend as David was able to take over. Our washing machine was still broken though, so we had to take loads of wash to the laundry mat….oh that weekend was fun.
Minestrone recipe coming soon….it was sooooo good!!!
Although I felt like I was fighting something, there is power in having a purpose, and also being out in the fresh air, albeit mostly cold as it’s been such a rainy and wet spring, (I think this has been part of the problem as we need to all dry up!!!) that kept me going.
So while I did have to put my family in their life jackets and we got in the life boats for awhile, we
never drowned.
William starting to mend and was very hungry….check out the quote on his shirt…empowering our children with their own mantras and building layers of faith is an important way to give them life long tools
There was even a day at the end of the week when the kids were watching movies in the family room that I was finally able to get out and fill my two, newly made raised beds with the LASAGNA gardening method. David had built one and then another 4×8 raised garden beds and it was my job to fill them.
It’s really a fun way of creating lovely garden soil for your plants and instead of just bringing in a truck load of top soil, it’s a lot easier and more in line with how Mother Nature makes rich hummus.
I started by laying a thick layer of newspaper in the bottom of the bed to cover the grass and then I laid large pieces of heavy cardboard on top of that. I made sure to water each layer as I went. On top of the cardboard I put about 6 inches of chicken bedding. The last time I had cleaned out the chicken house was at the end of November. All winter we used the deep litter method; where you just keep laying down a fresh bed of pine shavings and the chickens dig that in with their manure.
After laying down the newspaper and cardboard I watered it really well…note nearby hose…
Time to really clean out the chicken run and coop…here is Sadie in the run, she loves to get underfoot and get a pet
I thought I would be cleaning out their chicken house long before May but it had been so cold that I kept putting it off, plus the bedding helps to keep the chicken’s warm. Cleaning the run and coop was perfectly timed with building the raised bed as this dirt/ pine shavings/ chicken manure, although not composted, was good fill for next to the cardboard.
After that layer, I mowed our lawn which was really long with all the rain and I added the lawn clippings on top of the chicken run material. Then I added the dry leaves I had kept from last fall and after the leaves, I added another layer of newspaper, just ’cause I had it and I wanted to bring the worms to the surface…..since they love wet newspaper. To top off the bed I had some aged compost and finally I added a few bags of organic dirt since I would be planting right in this bed.
You can see some of the layers in this picture
Although the ideal time to make a lasagna bed is in the fall, you can do it any time as long as you make sure you are planting in aged compost or soil as I did this spring.
Once my beds were ready, it was time to dig up my old strawberry bed that was getting old and needed to be refurbished. Plus, with my cedars growing tall beside the old strawberry beds, they really needed more sunshine so moving them to an all day sun location will allow the strawberries to produce sweeter and more abundantly. So I dug up the newer plants in the bed, (which were created from the runners from the mother plant) and moved them all over to the raised garden beds.
I was able to get 32 plants in each bed so with two raised beds we now have 64 strawberry plants. Although we will be taking off the blossoms this year to allow the energy to go into the plant, next year we should be able to get .5 to 1 lb of strawberries from every foot of garden…which means 32 to 64 pounds of strawberries next year. So worth the effort to make these beds!
As I was layering in all the garden waste, and planting the beautiful strawberry plants on top, I was thinking about life. Being out in the garden always gets me reflecting on my life and how I walk my path.
I was thinking about the last few weeks and how I have had to draw on my layers of faith that I have been laying down my whole life.
From my childhood, I learned many Bible stories and how to love God. I learned how Jesus came to earth to be able to experience this human condition (really tough at times even in 1st World countries) and how God so loved us that he was willing to let Jesus die on the cross for us. (If you are turned off by words of God or Jesus, hang in there ’cause I’m making my point…this for my daughter Alyssa and others who may feel the same)
On the days when I think I can’t go on, what keeps me going is a bible verse I found as a child on a bookmark in my mom’s Bible. It read,
“I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me.”
Philippians 4:13 of the New King James Version
Surely, as a young widow of 40 with 4 daughters to watch over, my mom had to use that verse daily to get her through the first few years after my dad died and I have found great comfort and inspiration in using it as well. On my darkest days, I recite it with each breath. Just as my little Katie was gasping for air when she had croup, I breathe it into my soul and it sustains me.
But for me, my faith is multi layered and I often think of my Buddhist teachings as well; reciting more wise words;
“What you think, you become. What you feel, you attract. What you imagine, you create.”
Knowing that my mind is powerful, when I stay present and focus in on what I’m thinking, what I’m experiencing, what I believe and what I want to achieve, it moves me forward with intent. I am grateful that I learned early in my life that I am not alone, that God always walks with me, and I have been given powerful tools to create a rich and meaningful life.
But the inspiration does not end there.
Oh no!
I think of Mother Teresa and her endless compassion when I parent my children and her loving words come to mind,
“We can do no great things, only small things with great love.”
When I recite those words, I think of the peace that emanated from Mother Teresa and how her kind, love and compassion still vibrates on this earth. Those vibrations touch me and fill me up.
Then there is my admiration for Mahatma Gandhi and his humanitarian heart. He was the one who said,
“Religions are different roads converging to the same point. What does it matter that we take different roads, so long as we reach the same goal …”
Throughout history and even now there are wars being fought against people’s varying religions and beliefs. Each person thinking that their way of looking at the world is right and just. I think this is one reason I have layered my faith because there isn’t just one right faith. (in my humble opinion anyway)
I think this is also the reason a few of my older children have chosen to turn away from religion as they see so much contradiction in the world. How can people who claim they are religious, hurt others, or make judgement calls. They just don’t get it…and I see their point of view but it’s sad ’cause having faith is a powerful tool in life but we don’t have to use it against each other. We need it to lift us up.
Why can’t we all just come together and make one big lasagna, full of delicious ingredients, creating a diverse and fertile soil for everyone to thrive in. Anything to get us through our days and to keep us connected with each other. Anything to bring peace to this earth. Let peace, hope, faith, and love be the layers we need to build humanity’s soil.
In the last month, with sick kids, a broken washing machine, and everything else, it all adds weight to our boat, somehow I was able to get through it all and I can only say that it was my faith that pulled me through.
Somehow I’m able to reach down to my gut and my heart grows immensely, like the Grinch’s heart once he realized the true meaning of Christmas, it expands and I become a super person with endless power, knowing ANYTHING is possible.
In the end, AND IN THE END,…...all shall be well.
And while we are all still feeling like we are fighting a virus, I hope the worst is over. I hope the sun shines soon, that we all warm up, that the floods that are plaguing many parts of our country abate. That the people in power leading our countries wake up and realize that we aren’t playing a game, the only people who win in the end are the ones who, like the Grinch realize it’s all about sharing and being loving.
I have to hope and pray, and hold the vision that I have the power to change the world. At least in my little part of it anyway. For now in my homestead the kids are healing, the washer has been repaired (albeit is leaking…another issue for another day) summer is only around the corner. To keep me going though, something I have dreamed of for several years has come into my life.
I worked late on Mother’s Day, so when I came home the kids had already eaten their dinner and were in their jammies. When they heard my car drive up they yelled, “mommy!!!!” I settled in the living room and while I ate my dinner, Grace played a mini concert for me on the piano and then the kids brought me in a huge big gift wrapped box in paper they had decorated with flowers and hearts. Each child had taken a side and were thrilled to show me their creations. It was too pretty to rip through but they really wanted me to open the gift so finally I tore through the paper and found……drum roll please…..
A VITAMIX!!!!!!!
Finally, one of my long held dreams has come true. Oh, I know, it’s a material thing but if you put me in a tiny house tomorrow with only a few items, this would be one of the only things I would want in my kitchen.
Plus the side benefit is that we get to make smoothies and rather than juicing and losing all the good pulp fibre…we can eat it.
The next morning after I returned from driving the kids to school, I speedily ready through the quick start instructions and figured out how to make a green smoothie…. which I promptly did.
Yum, yum, yum!
When the kids came home I had a berry/banana/yogurt smoothie ready for them…….with a ton of spinach too and they didn’t even notice it!
So in the end, some valuable lessons were learned this spring. That anything is possible if you hold onto your faith. That dreams come true, and that sometimes you have to ask for some help. Not an easy thing for me. The circle of people outside of my immediate family were there for me; .my employers, my co-workers, the kid’s teachers, our family Doctor, my sisters.
All shall be well!
And before I close my blog I wanted to share a song by George Harrison, “Give me love, give me peace on earth.” The lyrics from this song lift me up, “give me hope, help me cope, with this heavy load, trying to touch and reach you with heart and soul.”
I’m grateful for faith!
And if you watch that video…hang in there and watch the subsequent one that follows, another fav of mine, I cry when I hear George singing, “My Sweet Lord.”
I hope your life is good right now. That your days are easy, that the sun is shining and you are well, but if you feeling like you are drowning, you are not alone. Be gentle on yourself, eat well, get rest when you can, count what blessings you have in your life, connect with others and layer a little faith into your days.
All shall be well!
Until we meet again, may you be well, happy and peaceful.
Have you been joining Deepak, Oprah and me in the 21 day, “Hope in Uncertain Times.” meditation series? If so, I’m so HAPPY! You are probably heightened to how the feelings of hope sustains you in your life. I can’t imagine life without it. Doing this meditation series has inspired me to write a little piece on “Hope and Me.” (And then share my banana bread recipe with you)
Maybe it will get you thinking about times in your life when hope kept you going.
I grew up in the 60’s and 70’s; a time when peace marches were common, and a book called, “Silent Spring,” by Rachel Carson, ignited the environmental movement like nothing since , “Henry David Thoreau’s book “Walden’s Pond,” which had been published over 100 years earlier. Suddenly, like a tidal wave changing an idyllic landscape after World War two, protests erupted all over the world regarding social issues, environmental concerns and race equality. What lay grounded beneath us all, was a thread of hope that if we all pulled together, we could evoke change.
“Those who contemplate the beauty of the earth find reserves of strength that will ensure as long as life lasts. There is something infinitely healing in the repeated refrains of nature – the assurance that dawn comes after night, and spring after winter.” ~Rachel Carson, “Silent Spring”
John Lennon’s song, “Imagine,” was a powerful song for that era, “I hope someday you join us and the world will live as one.”
Has a lot changed since then?
Is there still hope in the world?
If you asked my son who has a degree in Environmental Science, you would think all hope is lost. I think David Suzuki shares his opinion and yet, without hope, what remains? We need to keep believing that what we do makes a difference on this earth.
Is there any other way to live?
“We stand now where two roads diverge. But unlike the roads in Robert Frost‘s familiar poem, they are not equally fair. The road we have long been traveling is deceptively easy, a smooth superhighway on which we progress with great speed, but at its end lies disaster. The other fork of the road — the one less traveled by — offers our last, our only chance to reach a destination that assures the preservation of the earth.” ~Rachel Carson, “Silent Spring.”
There was a time in my life that felt hopeless but as long as there is life, there is hope. At least we can keep moving in the direction of being conscious of our choices and deciding how we want to live our life. With hope, or without.
So, without further ado, here is my piece called, “Hope and Me.” It’s a jig saw memoir piece and if you linger afterwards, what goes really well with a little bit of hope? well of course a steaming cup of hot tea and a slice of banana bread still warm from the oven!.
Using a well- known quote of Oprah’s, “what I know for sure,” is that, hope sustains us. Somehow, lying, quietly under the surface of my childhood, the seeds of hope survived. A childhood filled with neglect and loneliness. After my father was killed in an Esso truck accident in 1965, when I was five years old, my mother, also left this earth. Oh sure, she was present physically. But my memory of her is as an empty shell, moving gently with the tide of our days. After Dad died, I also lost my safe and comfortable life.
Adding to the grief, a year later we left the only hometown I had known, ironically called, Hope. We also left two of my older sisters; one who was finishing high school and the other who had just started her banking career. My mom, older sister J and I moved to a nearby city called Chilliwack, which was named for the indigenous tribe who originally settled there and in their language it meant, “quieter waters.” I’m sure mom wanted us to make a fresh start in a city that didn’t know our sorrow, on the shores of a bubbling brook, instead of a river flooded with pain and pity. But a black cloud followed us wherever we went, always threatening to rain tears.
The dark oppressive worry of money hovered overhead as well, and when most children are ignorant of the weight of money, I was acutely aware of its lack. I will never forget when our hot water tank burst and we desperately needed to have it replaced but there was no money for that. My mother’s worried brow covered me in a heavy coat of anxiety. I can remember going to school wondering if others could smell poverty on my skin. Then one night my mom left my sister J and I, to go to bingo with my Auntie Geordie, who was also a struggling single mom. The next morning I found mom humming in the kitchen. She had won the exact amount needed to replace the hot water tank at bingo.
Mom used all her energy to keep the roof over our head, working hard at her hotel front desk clerk position. She often worked the shift that started at 4 pm so she wasn’t there for long when I came home from school and I didn’t see her in the mornings either, since she was sleeping after working the night shift. When she was home, not knowing any other way to engage with her, I would act out or be whiny. It must have been like fingernails on a mother’s chalkboard back. She would put up with it to a point and then suddenly without warning, she’d fly out of her carefully, controlled shell and yell, “Debbie, go to your room and don’t come out until you’re going to be happy.”
As a result, I spent most of my childhood in my bedroom. I would draw pictures of perfect families; starting with a tall Dad and then a bit smaller mom and finally, I would draw children, lots of children; boys and girls and babies, lots of babies. In many of my drawings, looking back at them years later, for my mom saved just about everything, I noticed there was often an angel floating above the families. Was I even conscious of drawing one hovering above at the time?
I remember on several occasions, being sent to my room rather violently, my mom grabbing a piece of my hair and hurtling me towards my bedroom door, which prompted intense feelings of anger and sadness. Feeling unwanted, I would write long, drawn out goodbye letters, hoping my mom would feel remorseful about pulling my hair once she discovered me gone. Then I would stuff my pillowcase with books, my favourite Suzy Q doll and a small, shabby pink blanket. I would escape through my open window and crawl over to the hydrangea bush in our front yard.
It was there, in the shelter and shade of that large shrub, that I would sit on my blanket, with Suzy Q by my side and we would be swept away to other worlds reading books. The ground smelled earthy and comforting and when the hydrangea was in bloom, with its large blue lacy like blossoms, I could spend hours under such graceful beauty. Eventually though, hunger would win out and I would crawl back through my window and notice my goodbye note undisturbed.
No one has missed me at all.
And such was my childhood. Books helped me escape my loneliness. Sara from, “The Little Princess,” Mary from “The Secret Garden,” and my all- time favourite, “Anne with an e, from Green Gables,” became my closest confidants. Anne said, “Kindred spirits are not so scarce as I used to think. It’s splendid to find out there are so many of them in the world.” And reading outside in the garden restored my soul, so I could endure life. I hoped that like the delicate hydrangea bush that sheltered me, that my life would one day blossom beautifully.
As I pen this childhood memory, a lifetime has elapsed allowing me to draw on many experiences. In hindsight yes, my childhood was sad and lonely but it’s always been during the darkest moments in my life that I have grown the most. Losing my dad, taught me more about life than a lifetime with him in it. And spending my darkest days under the hydrangea bush inspired a love of gardening. When I’m sad all I have to do is go out into nature and I can find my way home again.
If I had one of those childhood drawings to show you today, you would see that I am the smiling mom in the picture and beside me is a strong and tall man. My husband David is my oak tree, his branches reach out wide, sheltering me from life’s wind and rain. Above his deep roots, I blossom and thrive and together we provide a safe home for our family to grow. He is dad to our 8 incredible, deeply loved children.
They were with me when I was small, little seeds of hope just waiting underground, lying dormant until the sun warmed the earth. They sustained me.
And my mom you ask, who knew, she was with me always, in the only way that she could be and hope sustained her too. And since she has been gone for 5 years now, I’d like to believe she is the angel watching over me.
What I know for sure is that hope sustains us and I wouldn’t want to live any other way.
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..The End
Well, that is one of my life pieces and someday, who knows, maybe I can put the whole picture together. Writing this blog has been not just a way to inspire others to look at ways they can live their life more mindfully, but I hope when I share intimate stories like the one above, it also gets others thinking about the dark days in their life and despite it all their roots burrowed deeper, looking for the nourishment of hope, allowing them to blossom into the person they are today…. beautifully.
And what else sustains us? Good comfort food. For me, banana bread has always been right up there on that comfort list. How about you? And recently I made loaf after loaf of it and it was consumed as fast as it was on the cooling racks, so I think I’m not alone in my feelings about it.
The base recipe I use is from my, “Pillsbury Complete Book of Baking.” Although I have tried many banana bread recipes, I keep coming back to this one. It always gives me THE PERFECT TEXTURE, that I love in banana bread. A good tip for making great bread is to wait until you have REALLY ripe bananas for great texture and taste. Not always easy in our house as we eat our bananas as fast as they come in but occasionally they do get a few brown speckles on them.
Banana Bread (Note: I double the recipe below and make two loafs as it goes FAST!!!)
Ingredients
3/4 cup sugar
1/2 cup margarine or butter (or sometimes I use coconut oil)
2 eggs
1 cup (2 ripe bananas) mashed bananas
1/3 cup milk (I use almond milk but coconut milk would be great too)
1 tsp vanilla (since I double the recipe, I use 1 tsp vanilla and 1 tsp coconut extract)
2 cups all purpose flour
1/2 cup chopped nuts if desired…I use walnuts and you can throw a handful of coconut in as well
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
Directions
Heat oven to 350 degrees F. Grease bottom only of 9×5 or 8×4 inch loaf pans. In large bowl, beat sugar and margarine/butter or coconut oil until light an fluffy. Beat in eggs. Add bananas, milk and vanilla. Blend well. In small bowl, combine flour, nuts baking soda, and salt. Mix well. Add to banana mixture; stir just until dry ingredients are moistened. Pour into greased pan.
Bake at 350 F for 50 to 60 minutes or until toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean. Cool for 5 minutes then remove from pan. Cool completely, then wrap tightly and store in refrigerator.
Yields 1 loaf…16 slices.
(For a variation you can add 1 cup applesauce instead of bananas,and add 3/4 tsp cinnamon with the flour)
These were the first loaves I made recently
I can deal with anything when I have a cup of tea and a slice of banana bread, how ’bout you?
I made so many loaves that when I made the loaves in this picture, I hardly had any flour left. I only had enough for 2 cups but since I was doubling my recipe, I put 2 cups of oatmeal in the food processor and made 2 cups of oat flour and although it was still delicious…the loaf didn’t rise as high.
And for a peak into the homestead;
What’s been happening around here lately?
Lots of juicing
Lots of drinking said juice…almost forgot to snap a picture of this drink…it was so good and almost gone when I remembered to share it with you…the ginger, apples and carrots make it ZING!
The little kids have been building bridges with spaghetti at the Science Centre…I know, William Einstein!
More bridges..this time with marshmallows…Victoria Einstein!
A future structural engineer for sure…less marshmallows, more angles for strength, Kathryn Einstein!
And then the real work of late:
David starting to chain saw our 25 year old plants. If you are wanting to know what the best chain saw is for your homestead, check out this article from Mother Earth News
We are ripping out 25 year old plants from the beds above our pool since the landscape tie wall has deteriorated. Last week, David was chain sawing all the plants and those who were able, (the older boys and I) were hauling them down to our lower lawn area. Since then, we had a wonderful company in to chip the whole works and now this week it’s been all about digging up the roots and monster stumps.
Even though our son Harrison had started working at Home Depot part time, he also came out to help every chance he had. The weather has been cloudy, cold and rainy for much of April (In the picture above you can see the wall collapsing.)
Wish I couldn’t have kept all chippings from this pile…it would make great mulch for our new beds
Every thing is up, except the stumps…now the real work begins
Our oldest son Clark has been an amazing helper with regards to this project. (I’m thankful he’s been going to the gym and lifting weights all winter long!) The next step is taking down the old wall and rebuilding a new one. Then comes the fun part….replanting. This time though we will be planting herbs, some flowers and LOTS of food. I’m probably the only one planting edibles around my pool in our subdivision but it just makes sense if we are going to water anything, that it will be food. Since this area gets hot, hot sun all summer long, I think we will try to grow watermelon, cantalopes and maybe some grapes up the deck support posts.
My sister J came for a visit today, (waving Hi J…you always make my day) and asked what I will use to amend the soil since it’s currently not great. I’m going to use the “Back to Eden” gardening method and plan to mulch it heavily with wood chips, amending the soil only around each hole I dig for my plants. The cedar will eventually decompose and thereby improving the soil. Click on the hyperlink above if you want to watch the Back to Eden film.
The next project is also building some raised garden beds in our lower lawn area. The goal is to lose the grass and increase the garden space.We plan to also build 4×4 raised bed for each of the little people. One of our twin daughters, 5 year old Victoria, recently told us that when she grows up she wants to be a farmer so she can feed children all over the world. She heard that children go hungry all over the world and she doesn’t understand how that is possible. The solution seems so simple to her; just grow more food. Seems simple to me too. If we all did our part, even in our small backyards, no one would go hungry again.
What are you growing in your back forty this year?
Thanks for coming to visit. I hope something you have read here lifts you up, brightens your day and keeps you focused on your dreams. I told my sister J that I would REALLY like to write happier, more light filled posts and my next one will be that. In my next post, check out the amazing coconut cake I made recently in honour of my sister J’s birthday.
Now that is something to be happy about! Sisters and cake. Oh, there is so much good in the world!
Until we meet again, may hope sustain you, and may you be well, happy and peaceful.
Welcome to my homestead. After writing about Grandma Hulda and sharing our family’s recipe for old fashion pinwheel date cookies I thought I would share another great recipe and such a classic; Chocolate Chip cookies!
Oh don’t you just love a freshly baked, still warm from the oven, chocolate chip cookie? It takes me back to my teenage years. I know you would think it would take me back to a younger time in my childhood but after my dad died when I was 6, I don’t remember my mom doing any baking for years. In fact, I was the one who would bake in our home, so hungry was I for baked goods. When I was around age 9 or 10, I started baking Biscuit dough from a box and I would stuff the center with mincemeat. Whenever we had guests I would make those but I cringe now wondering how good they really were. At the time I thought I was such an amazing cook. Ha!
When I was 12 my mom remarried a man named, Bud (John Ray Finch) who had been a custom’s officer in Campbell River on Vancouver Island. My mom met Bud at the Empress Hotel in Chilliwack, where she worked as a front desk clerk. Leaving my sister J behind to finish school, the three of us created a new family and moved to Creston, B.C, in the Kooteneys and started a new chapter in our life.
It was there in our large 100 year old, historic home on the hill that my mom started to bake again. I can remember coming home in the fall, my cheeks flush with cold and the smell of pinwheel cookies, or chocolate cookies, would rise up to meet me when I opened the back door leading to our homey kitchen.
I’d like to believe that I’m creating those same sorts of memories for our children and this blog is also another legacy to capture some of our family stories and our favourite recipes.
In my recent blog post I wrote about my grandmother’s Hulda’s life as a way to inspire those of us who live in more modern times but in the last 6 months as there is such political unrest in the States since the recent election of their new president and also power struggles throughout the world, I thought it is very timely that two of my favourite people in the world (Oprah Winfrey and Dr. Deepak Chopra) are providing a free meditation series called, “Hope in Uncertain Times.”
I laughed out loud when I saw the title of their new meditation challenge for it is aptly named and something I can totally relate to.
This is the invitation I received from the Chopra Centre in my email, since I have done other meditations challenges in the past.
Uncertainty can be scary, and with fear comes defensiveness, judgment, and “us vs. them” thinking. Fear tempts us to give up our power to others who only appear strong, whether that’s your boss, your partner or other leaders. But true strength lies within.
Starting April 10, you’ll learn to take back your power and discover the inner resources to find love, peace, and connection in even the most difficult situations with Hope in Uncertain Times.
If you have not participated in one of these events, (it starts on April 10, 2017) I encourage you to pencil this date on your calendar and register as it could change your life. At the very least it will help you align yourself with your true essence and help you create the life that you want. When I have invited a few of my friends in the past, some have said, oh, I don’t have even 15 minutes in my day to do something like meditate but that seems so backwards to me.
If we want to be more productive in our lives, we don’t just work until we drop. No we have to eat properly, to rest appropriately, which will give us the energy we need to do our jobs. Well, meditation is really the same, although it’s our soul’s alignment and when we are in harmony with our inner power then we can do ANYTHING….and you know in my small way, that is what Hope’s Homestead is really about. Yes, I want to inspire others to live a more sustainable life, to realize that living more simply is really living more fully, but more than anything I want that to come from a place of spirit.
This is the true homestead.
My hope is that it will touch millions and millions of people. If we are all hummming, or rather, ommmming, with a single thread of Hope as we move more deeply into the year 2017, imagine what we can accomplish. Fear will be banished and love replaced and when we live in a state of love, that is where miracles happen.
So please join me now in registering for this series. It’s absolutely free, no strings attached and I believe it’s a Win/Win for everyone who takes just 15 minutes out of their day to connect.
1-1/4 cups sugar 1-1/4 cups firmly packed brown sugar 1-1/2 cups margarine or butter, softened 2 tsp vanilla (I play around with this…1 tsp vanilla and 1 tsp almond extract or coconut extract) 3 eggs 4-1/4 cups of all purpose flour (I play with this too, sometimes add some oatmeal, ground flax seed) 2 tsp baking powder 1/2 tsp salt 2 cups of chocolate chips 1 cup of nuts or coconut, or dried cranberries…this is the fun part of the recipe and makes it different each time you make it. Also, the 2 cups of chocolate chips can be played with using white and dark chocolate Directions Heat oven to 375 F degrees. In a large bowl beat the margarine or butter until creamy and then slowly add the sugars until light and fluffy.
Add the vanilla and eggs, blend well. In a separate bowl, add the flour, baking soda and salt. Mix well. Slowly add the dry ingredients to the butter mixture, again, mixing until well combined.
The final step is adding the chocolate chips and the 1 cup of nuts or whatever you have decided to include. Mix all until well combined. Drop dough by rounded tablespoon 2 inches apart onto an ungreased cookie sheet.
Bake at 375 F for 10 minutes or until lightly golden brown. This makes a large batch of cookies. I often make a few dozen big and then a few dozen small for our little people but I probably get 5 to 6 dozen depending on the size of cookie I make Note: When the dough can also be frozen if you just want to make a dozen at a time…that way you will always have some freshly baked cookies on hand but in my house….yeah, the whole batch go in about 2 days!!! ….and my kids are just hoping and trusting that our cookie jar will ALWAYS be full. A final tip from my kitchen, I don’t know about your part of the world but nuts are extremely expensive in mine, so I always keep a basket of dried nuts in their shells for the kids to crack and for me to use when baking. Yes, it takes a bit of effort to crack a cup of nuts but somehow it feels so much more satisfying and you know it’s also meditative cracking nut after nut and watching a mound of nuts form in your measuring jar. Also, this is a good way to have a combination of nuts in your cookies….I’m sorry if you are allergic to nuts like my niece T is….I’m sure you can find some other yummy addition it that is your situation.
When I put these cookies on my mom’s old Forget Me Not China, it feels like we are having tea together again like our old days in Creston, B.C. (Her friends gave her this china when she left Creston btw)
Well that wraps another blog post. I’m so glad you came to visit and I hope you will be joining me on April 10th meditating on the thoughts of Hope In Uncertain Times
If you are unsure, join me in one of Deepak and Oprah’s past meditations from their “Perfect Health,” 21 day series….”Meditate it Forward”
Pass it on…….
Thank you as always, for coming to visit. Wishing you MUCH love, lots of peace…and Hope always!
Until we meet again, may you be well, happy and peaceful.
My maternal grandmother died 30 years ago in 1987, and yet as I did some research and started to write this piece, it felt like she was across the room, moving rhythmically in her rocking chair and sharing her story in her sing songy, Swedish voice that I loved.
If you want to make a cup of tea and join me, pick a comfy chair and I will tell you a bit of her story, a peek into the past, a glimpse of what women 100 years ago experienced.. While daily, we move through our lives, mostly unconscious of their impact, the hardship they endured are etched in our bones forever more.
Hulda Adeline, was born on September 24, 1892 to Matilda (Koping) and August Snickars, (trade Carpenter) in Malox, Vaasa, Finland. She was their first child. Before she was even born, her father left their home to search for a better life in North America, and 6 years later her mother left her with an Aunt and followed her husband to the new country.
In 1904, when Hulda was only 12 years old she boarded a ship which took her on a long voyage across the Atlantic ocean and then traveled slowly by train across the United States, until she reached California to join her parent.
I can’t even imagine how determined and brave she must have been to take that trip. How scared and worried she may have been, not knowing for sure if she would be reunited with her family. The fact that my grandmother spoke Swedish and probably not a lot of English must have made that trip even more daunting.
She did find her family in Albion, California and promptly started working in a nearby hotel to help support their growing family.
Hulda Adeline Snickars~ 15 years old in 1907~
Her mother and father had 4 more children (Rose, Christine, Franz and another boy,) and then her father died. Her mother remarried a man with the last name of Nygard and they had one more child. A daughter, whom they called Violet but everyone called her Babe. Aunt Babe died a few years ago and was the last of that generation of strong and resourceful women.
Grandma met her husband in Albion, CA. August (Gus) Victor Herrling was born in 1882 in Canada. His father, Charles August Herrling (b 1826) had emigrated from the state of Hungary/Austria in the mid 1800’s and settled a homestead which is now called, “Herrling’s Island.” If you are ever traveling past Hope B.C. on highway number 1, you will see the sign for Herrling Island, across the Fraser River.
While on the homestead, his father had married an indigenous woman, Mary Dora, and had two children. Sadly, she died in childbirth with their child, so common during that time. I don’t know if their third child survived. The two children were raised by their grandparents and Charles then remarried another indigenous woman in 1876. With Mary Caroline Ling, great grandpa Herrling had 8 children and my grandfather Gus,was one of these children.
In 1915 Gus and Hulda married in Elk, California. While in California they had 6 children, Henry (1916), Charles (1918), Stanley (1920) and then they had two more children but I don’t’ know in what order. Harold died at age 2 from an infection and Patricia Anne only lived to 3 months and I think there was talk of her having heart issues.
Then in 1926 my mother, Ethel May was born in Oakland, California. I now understand why she was raised a bit like a princess with three older brothers watching over her and parents who hovered, probably scared that she too would die. She was followed by two more siblings. Richard (Dick) in 1929 and finally after emigrating to Canada from the States their last child, Rose Marie was born in 1932. Grandma was 40 when her last baby was born.
Hulda’s first husband and my grandfather, August Victor Herrling (Gus)
Gus and Hulda bought a farm in the Abbotsford area but during the depression years they moved to Campbell River where Gus and the older boys worked in the logging camp to earn a living and keep food on the table. The Herrling’s were a kind and generous family and even though times were tough, they always made a place for others at their table. In the late 30’s they returned to the Abbotsford area. Sadly, Gus was kicked by a horse and died of his injuries in 1946.
In those days it was hard for women to survive without a husband as being a single working woman/mom was not the norm, nor were there jobs to provide a decent living for women on their own and so in 1948, Hulda remarried Carl Brosch. They moved to Coquitlam and then finally together they bought another piece of land in the Abbotsford area. There is now a large mall complex on their land.
My grandmother Hulda and her second husband Carl.
Grandma Hulda lived at this location with Carl for many years. I can remember visiting them on their property and recognizing the value of growing your own food, having a compost pile, right in the garden. She taught me the gift of simplicity and using what you have. She would give me an old Sears Robuck Catalogue and a pair of scissors and I would make whole families and play with them for hours.
I loved when she would tell stories and act them out using animated expressions and actions. At the end of our visit, as the day darkened and the dinner had been cleared away, I would fall into a deep sleep with my head resting against her heart, listening to the vibration of her voice as she continues to visit with my mom in the kitchen.She didn’t have much money in her lifetime but when she came to visit us in Hope, I can remember her bringing little treats; orange crush pop and candies. Although I have decluttered a lot of my childhood memorabilia, even my precious Suzy and Cindy dolls are long gone, I kept one of the last birthday cards she gave me with a kitten and her written words, “love gram!”
When grandma was in her early 80’s she and Carl had a car accident and after that she started to age rapidly. In her last 10 years she deteriorated suffering from dementia and was in the Riverview Extended care home/hospital in Coquitlam, B.C.. In the last couple of years of her life she was in the Mission Hospital. The nurses apparently loved her and even though she was unresponsive, she still touched souls with her sweet nature.
Why did I tell you that story?
Well, for one, I don’t want the memory of this incredible woman, my grandmother Hulda to be lost. But another reason is to lift you up. If she could have lived almost 100 years, endured living through two world wars, one great depression, survived the loss of her first husband and two babies, and still retain her faith and hope, then we can do anything. We have more resources as women now. We live in a time when education and careers are possible. We live in a time when we are not pressured to marry or have children.There is a social safety net in Canada and government funded health care. We have come a long way since Grandma was born.
It’s true that the current state of the world is unstable with certain world leaders and ideologies in power but we women now have the right to vote. We are strong and powerful and most important of all, in most families, we still rock the cradle and can impact the next generation.We can teach our children to follow their hearts, listen from within and trust in goodness prevailing.By example, we can teach our children to be honest, live with integrity, take ownership for their choices, be respectful of others, work hard, have faith, but probably the biggest legacy is to be accepting and loving to all of our fellow humans, no matter their station, race, gender, religion, or colour.
But we still have far to go for not all women in the world are living in peace and freedom.
People, like Grandma Hulda endured so much so their children and grandchildren could have a better life and now it’s our turn to hold that space of respect and pass on the lessons of strength to the next generation on this earth. In 100 years from now, I’m holding the vision that there is peace on earth, (everywhere) that no one goes hungry and everyone is contributing to the world by using their own unique talents and gifts for the betterment of our earth. When you look back at everything Hulda experienced and how the world has changed, I don’t think my vision for the world is too grand. It’s possible….with Hope, anything is possible.
Well, that’s my blog story for today but before I go I wanted to share my family’s recipe for Pinwheel Date Cookies. I think it’s timely as this is a recipe passed down from my mother and I’d like to think it came from Hulda, although I will never know.
The appearance of this cookie has a yummy circle of dates going around and around. Just like a meditative medicine wheel. With each step around the wheel we become more grounded,—perhaps as we munch on our cookies, with each bite we will lay down strength and hope from generations passed. The swirling path of dates reminds us that life is sweet and history doesn’t have to repeat itself.
With conscious thought, we can choose a different path for a healthier world where the strongest vibration is love. Let that be my grandma Hulda’s legacy….and now mine.
Old Fashion Pinwheel Date Cookie Recipe
Ingredients
Filling
3/4 cup finely chopped dates 1/4 sugar 1/3 cup water 2 tbsp finely chopped nuts (we use walnuts)
Cookies
1 cup firmly packed brown sugar 1/2 cup margarine or butter–softened 1 egg 1 1/2 cups all purpose flour 1 1/2 tsp baking powder 1/4 tsp salt
Directions In a small saucepan, combine dates, sugar and water. Bring to boil. Reduce heat; cover and simmer 5 minutes or until thick. Stir in nuts. Cool. In large bowl, beat brown sugar, margarine and egg until light and fluffy.Stir in flour, baking powder, and salt; mix at low speed until dough forms. Cover with tea towel or parchment paper, refrigerate 1 hour for easier handling. On lightly floured surface, roll dough into 16×8 inch rectangle; carefully spread with date filling. Starting with 16 inch side, roll up jelly-roll fashion; cut in half to form two 8 inch rolls. Wrap each roll in a tea towel; refrigerate at least 2 hours. Heat oven to 375 degree F. Cut dough into 1/4 inch slices. Place 2 inches apart on lightly sprayed cookie sheet. Bake at 375 degrees for 8 to 10 minutes or until lightly golden brown. Immediately remove from cookie sheet and cool completely on cookie racks. Makes about 3 dozen cookies (We love these cookies so I double the recipe and freeze a container full of them) (Note, if you like the taste of orange, you can replace the water with orange juice and use some zest….also add a bit of cinnamon to the dry ingredients for a lovely addition)
I like to dust some icing sugar over the tops of the cookies when they are still warm from the oven
Thanks for visiting today. I hope something you read lifts you up and helps you on your journey and at the very least, you have added a new cookie recipe to your recipe box. As you know, I think life is more bearable with a jar full of cookies.
Until we meet again, may you be well, happy and peaceful.
My dear blogging friends and family, are you getting tired of winter yet?
I sure am!
To me this time of year always feels like my 8th month of pregnancy, when I just wanted to meet my baby and have my body back. Although a part of me wanted to enjoy the last days of my precious pregnancy, I was getting tired of getting up several times a night to use the bathroom and of course, overall I felt uncomfortable.
People don’t like being in a state of uncomfortable.
Just like pregnancy, winter is starting to feel too long. I’m tired of bundling myself and our little people up every time we go outside and dealing with slush and mud is getting unbearable.
Yuck!
I just want winter to be over and to get on with life; start my garden, hang out with our chickens, plant some flowers, grow some food and feel the warmth of the sun on my face. But these transition times are really important in our lives and I GUESS that is why I am thankful that I live in a part of the world where there are distinct seasons.
Four seasons in a year, teach us a lot. Each season is an opportunity to look at our life and how we are walking our path. How we feel about life when it’s uncomfortable.
“In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer.” ~Albert Camus~
It’s in those uncomfortable moments and in between season, when we come into our own, build the energy we need so that when the next season starts or stage of our life begins, we are transformed and ready to fly.
While I’m waiting for the last of the snow to melt, I remind myself that, “this too shall pass,” and I start moving energy because…..
This is the season for space clearing!
If you have wondered why I haven’t posted much lately, it’s because I have been upending drawers and emptying closets to rid myself of what is no longer useful or appreciated in our home. After I have cleared out a room of clutter and cleaned it really well, my body literally vibrates with a higher energy.
And that propels me forward to the next space.
And you know, it’s in that place, when we are humming with joy that we are able to create ANYTHING we desire. I think that when Jesus said, “the kingdom of God is within you,” he was referring to our potential to be ultimate creators. We just need to be believe the power to do so is inside of ourselves.
And so with that I wanted to share a story I wrote about my own experience a few years ago. No matter what you are desiring to create in your life, a new job, tickets to travel, a love partner, or a baby, like I was dreaming of a few years ago, it can be yours. I hope you find the following story inspiring.
And join me in moving the clutter, clearing your space and creating the life you always dreamed of.
Here’s my story…..
Stepping on My Own Feet
Each spring I do the same dance, although the tune is always different. This year, as I sweep through the house, going room by room, clearing out the insidious accumulation of stuff which stealthy, creeps into our home, I’m singing the tune, “less stuff, more life.”
This is a dance I know well and a song I have sung before. As a daughter of a depression era mother, I was raised, suffocated by stuff. Oh, sure it was organized chaos, but each drawer and closet was brimming full with things we may need someday. I wasn’t choked so much by our possessions but by the fear that someday,
THERE MAY BE A LACK.
As an adult, I threw down the gauntlet in the face of such fear and challenged life, dancing surefooted and believing whatever I desired would appear. Somewhere along life’s path, perhaps when my husband and I were trying to have our last child, I faltered. It was also during this time, that I allowed material possessions to move surreptitiously into our home.
It was an easy thing with a household full of children. First there were the discarded baby items, and then once school started, our children arrived home, proudly carrying precious pieces of art stuffed in their backpacks. Rock collections were discovered in jean pockets and buckets of stinky shells, and drift wood returned home with us after our summer holidays at the sea.
Oh and one can’t forget the countless boxes of pricey Gap and Gymboree clothing our children had grown out of, or the mountains of toys, too numerous for our little ones to play with each day. Over the years, everything was relegated to our Hobbit’s hallow crawl space or spread innocently, stuffed into closets and drawers.
One day, while surfing the web for fertility inspiration, I stumbled across an article on Feng Shui. Feng Shui is an ancient Chinese art that teaches how to balance energies in any given space to increase good fortune and improve the flow of desired manifestation. Did I ever need to read this! Somewhere along my path I had become my mother’s daughter. I was drowning in a sea of household crap and it felt like I was moving through mud to reach my dreams.
Suddenly, my latest obsession shifted from trying to conceive, to studying the art of Feng shui. The first step was clearing clutter. Starting with our bottom heavy crawl space and moving upward, each day I chose a new room to methodically clear and clean.
That spring, 9 years ago we had the mother of all garage sales and who knew it would feel so good to let others happily take what was clogging up my life. After that, I systematically went room by room, balancing the elements of wood, fire, water and metal.
Finally, one blue skyed Saturday afternoon my husband took the kids to the park and I did a space clearing ceremony. I know it sounds new agey and thinking back I’m glad no one came to the door that day as I was dressed all in white and wearing flowers in my hair. What would they have thought! With a Balinese bell in one hand and a stick of smoldering sage and a large feather in the other hand, I swayed around our house in a circular fashion, while softly chanting, “May our home be filled with peace, love, joy and abundant blessings flow with ease.”
When the kids came home with flushed cheeks from playing at the park they asked, “what smells so funny?” As I write this, don’t think the irony is lost on me but since this is the pivotal part of my story, I must continue.
I didn’t wait long to share my latest foray into moving energy with my Tradition Chinese Doctor. Dr. B had been treating me weekly with acupuncture sessions in the pursuit of building my chi energy and boosting my fertility. At the end of our session, Dr. B. looked intently at me with her calm, deep brown eyes and gently said, “Lee, you have to let go.” As tears filled my eyes, the spoken truth of her words hit my gut with a thud and reverberated around my brain until it felt swollen with emotional punches. I wanted to yell, ”not yet,” but I knew, if I didn’t surrender the dream of another baby that I had been holding tightly since my last miscarriage two years earlier, I would drown in dark quick sand, taking my family with me.
When I got home, I went to sit on our front step in one of the brown wicker chairs. Spring was turning to summer. An earthly, scent of freshly mown grass was in the air and my newly planted flower pots at the front of our house were starting to bloom in brilliant pinks, deep purples and bright yellows. We would be eating luscious sweet strawberries from the garden soon and best of all, my delightful children would be all mine for 2 glorious months. With a sigh, I stood and reached up, allowing my hands to flow through the wind chimes at our front door. A heavenly sound of tinkling angel laughter filled the air.
Today, I’m in the midst of unearthing our kitchen desk drawer and I’m thinking about that time in my life when I got off track and was focusing on the lack in my life and not the abundance. I’m always surrounded by enough. In fact, right now I’m sitting on our wood floor covered by pens, papers, orphaned keys and multiple staplers. Our vacu-flo hose is lying nearby, like a snake, ready to suck up the dust and debris lying heavily at the bottom of the drawer.
This is a dance I do each spring but this year the tune is different. This year I move to the rhythm of MLS listings. I’m looking for acreage in the county. A place our family can grow more vegetables, build our chicken flock, maybe even get a rooster and certainly a big dog. I’m dreaming of my white farmhouse kitchen with a big butcher block island when the garage door suddenly opens and my blonde, curly haired, 7 year old son William pops his head in the door and pleads, “MOOOOM, are you coming out to play?”
I look at the stuff strewn around me and know it’s not going anywhere. Hey, and maybe Will and his 5 year old twin sisters will help me organize the drawer when we come in. For some reason, my younger kids love to help me de-clutter.
The End
Although it’s not the end…after I got off my own feet, look what manifested in my life….
When I got off my own feet, these beautiful babies danced into my life
Victoria Hope on the left and Kathryn Mira is on the right..early days while still in the hospital
Our little girls LOVE to read, Kathryn is on the left, Victoria is on the right
Here is Princess Kate
Our beautiful Victoria (Tori)
It was a long first year with twins but it’s all smiles in the end
Out to explore and have an adventure…isn’t that what life is all about?
From left to right, Victoria, William and Kathryn
There was a time when having these last three was a dream outside my reach…the power is within each of us to create the life of our dreams.
That’s a story I wrote recently for my writing group. The theme was a time in our life when we were stuck. Now looking back, I was never stuck. Only my perception was stuck. I was abundantly wealthy with children at the time and our next children, although waiting patiently on the other side, were within my reach all along. So ironic. All I had to do was let go, trust, breathe, and be JOY filled.
This reminds me of Dorothy from the Wizard of OZ, when she clicked the heels of her ruby red slippers and said, “there’s no place like home.” We have the ability to create whatever we want and we are ALWAYS, always home!
But when you want something so bad, it’s just not a human experience to relax, to trust, to enjoy. We click our ruby red slippers so hard that the glitter wears off. Oh for most of us, we need to push and worry, and live in a state of angst and unrest, (speaking personally here and in general) until we give up saying, “it probably wasn’t meant to be anyway! And the secret all along is to put our dreams down and let the Universe bring them to us. You may be surprised to see how fast they show up when you are vibrating in a state of appreciation and joy. AND TRUST…that’s the biggie.
Years ago, I thought I had started my blog to stay in touch with our daughter who had moved to London for 2 years. Now she is back in Canada, but still away and now teaching in Victoria but lately I have been thinking, yes, I like her to hear what’s going on in my head and at home but ya know, it’s more for me. If you are a writer, or an artist, or a cook, or a parent, you know this about creating something….the keys to living our best life are constantly flowing through our creative medium of choice and when we stop typing, or put down the paintbrush, this aha, realization floods through us.
As I write this post, yes I realize that I’m doing the whole dance again but this time looking for acreages on MLS, are dance steps I know well. All I have to do is get off my own feet and allow the music to take me…and the Universe will do all the rest.
Isn’t life endlessly fascinating and magical?
Hey…but space clearing is valuable; you get rid of things that you are no longer needing and sharing them with others, well that’s HUGE. They may even be thinking of the very thing that you are letting go this very moment! WOW! When you are conscious of the river flowing that is when you see the wonder of it all.
Now before I close, if you are new to this whole space clearing idea, I’m not going to just share my story and then not give you some road maps to follow…we love manuals and road maps in life don’t we? So here are the books that inspired me, but remember, just like what the good witch Glinda who told Dorothy, “you had the power all along my dear.”
The books that inspired me to move my energy are:
Clear your Clutter with Feng Shui by Karen Kingston, was the first book I read that inspired me to rid our house of useless crap….and create a space where harmony flowed.
And the other book by Karen Kingston that took everything to another level and gave me ideas for the space clearing ceremony where I was wearing white, and had flowers in my hair…it is;
So if you are stuck, or even thinking you are okay but wanting a bit more energy and want the things you desire to flow to you with ease, think about clearing the clutter and creating a beautiful space where you can manifest your best life.
The power is inside of you!
Well, I’m off to do some more de-cluttering and also have a cup of green tea with ginger. I find that when I space clear and things start to flow, it also inspires me to cleanse my body as well. I hope to write more about that in the next little while and also share some pics of some of my projects.
Until we connect again, may you be well, happy and peaceful.
Happy Shrove Tuesday, dear blog friends and family!
Did you know that Shrove Tuesday is also called Mardi Gras?
And Mardi Gras is french for FAT TUESDAY???? I love learning new things. I always thought Mardi Gras was just a big party down in New Orleans (well it is) but it also refers to the practice of the last night of eating rich, fatty foods before the ritual fasting of the Lenten season, which begins on Ash Wednesday.
And that’s tomorrow. So today is Fat Tuesday or celebration day and in many parts of the world it’s also Shrove Tuesday.
Now here is something I also did not know, The expression “Shrove Tuesday” comes from the word shrive, which means to absolve. Shrove Tuesday is observed by many Christians, including Anglicans, Lutherans, Methodists and Roman Catholics, who make a special point of self examination, of considering what wrongs they need to repent, and what amendments of life or area of spiritual growth they especially need to ask God’s help in dealing with.
It’s funny but when I was a child and attending church regularly,…and even as an adult? I don’t REALLY remember much ado in our Anglican derived services about Shrove Tuesdays and we certainly didn’t eat pancakes in celebration of such a day.
In my memory anyway….where are my sisters for their recollection?
Also, I have never been into gorging myself in anticipation of a great fast…but you know I really like the idea of the whole absolution thing….and preparing for a new season.
Something speaks to my deepest core about letting go….sometimes I feel it’s what my life’s journey is all about.
So today, my family and I are starting a new tradition and are celebrating Shrove Tuesday. We are feasting and celebrating and for dinner? Pancakes of course.
We are a big pancake family anyway. Every single Sunday since our children were tiny, my husband David gets up early, lets me sleep in, (do I love this man!!!) and makes our ever growing crew pancakes. He could now be blindfolded in the kitchen on Sunday morning and pull together a whopping plate of PERFECT, light and fluffy pancakes. Did I mention they are also golden brown?
NO matter how much I practice making pancakes they never turn out like his….mind you, he doesn’t leave the pan for a moment. He hovers over his griddle like the pancakes are his precious offspring. When I make them, they are not golden…more like dark brown!!! of course when I’m making them, I’m flying around, throwing a load of laundry in, unloading the dishwasher, and yeah…maybe treating them like my precious offspring. I’m always multi tasking to stay on top of everything and while I’m trying to attend to my pancakes, I’m usually making something to go with them at the same time….like a bowl of fruit salad and so yeah, they don’t turn out as great as his. (thankfully, our kids are beautifully GOLDEN!)
But anyway, I GOT SIDETRACKED….and that is why my pancakes don’t turn out like his!
We often eat pancakes during the week as well; if we are out and busy in the afternoons with music, dance, sports, or the other multiple activities our kids participate in. I will come home with a car load of hungry kids and unless I have made a casserole or a pot of soup or a big salad, all made, sitting in the fridge, the cry goes out for pancakes…..and while sometimes I do make them, we wait for Dad to come home, pull on his apron, and whip them up for us. A bonus for the kids AND me.
(who doesn’t like a night off from cooking?….and I’m happy to do the clean up!)
This morning as David was heading out the door he said, “we are on for pancakes right?” and as we were all hustling to get dressed and ready for the day, we gave all gave him the resounding thumbs up!!!
Yeah!
After the kids were all off to school….and even our oldest son is out of the house today as he’s working all week at the Science Centre….another YEAH!
I came home and was inspired to actually make myself more than my green drink and an apple.
Yep! that’s me most mornings…..BUT
This morning, I decided to try out a really cool, never thought about before, pancakes recipe that I stumbled over this weekend. I found a cool channel on Youtube, “Minimalist Mama of 10,” when I was googling large families, and minimalism. I know such a contradiction of terms but being on this road-less traveled, I’m constantly on the look out for my people. Yes, I know, I know, I live with “my” people but in many ways not really. While yes, they are living with me and I birthed 8 of them, they don’t all endorse my beliefs and philosophies….it’s more like they humour me.
A lot!
Thankfully….
They have come along on the backyard chicken road with me ’cause I think they were getting sick and tired of me spending all my time mooning over chicken coop plans on the internet and always having my nose in a book on chicken care.
They finally said, okay to chickens in our backyard. It felt like forever too. Have you ever wanted something so bad you could taste it but other people got in the way of your dream?
The cool thing is now our little ones have feathered pets and the big ones are loving our omega rich, organic eggs they get to eat….and they know the chickens are treated REALLY well! And then there is my veggie garden. Who doesn’t mind getting all that fresh produce from the garden, and the green smoothies and juices that I make for them, ’cause, yes, they all like being healthy and fit. But boy they scatter like the wind, when I start talking about double digging our garden, or turning over the compost bins. Well, except the little ones who are always in for playing in the dirt….maybe little people are MY PEOPLE!
For the most part they all agree in our constant move towards living a minimalist life and they all agree that they love the feeling they get after their bedroom has been combed through and organized. Almost as if a breath of fresh air has been whooshed into their space.
And it has.
Don’t you love new energy?
They also know deep down that the steps we are taking to walk a lighter path on the earth and help to heal our planet does make a difference. If we all join in we can clean up our home and keep it healthy. We are after all…..ALL family, living in the same house/planet.
And so today, we will enjoy a big plate of pancakes and think about all the experiences we have had this past winter, and tomorrow, we will start to cleanse, and fast, taking time to reflect and be conscious as we prepare for a new season of wonder and growth, TRUSTING IN THE MAGIC OF NEW BEGINNINGS.
Truth be told, when oldest daughter left to start teaching in Victoria at the end of January, I have started to de-clutter drawer by drawer, closet by closet. I didn’t wait for spring but that is an inner drive of mine to always be moving the energy in our home. Slowly, I’m letting go of what doesn’t serve our family any longer and giving it to others who may be in need. It feels good and with each space that gets cleared, new energy rushes in to give me even more energy to do the things I love.
Spend time with my people! in my house and outside of it….and you are included in that part because taking time to write my posts and connecting with you is important to me.
My greatest wish is that something I write will inspire you and help you on your path.
As the season of Lent is almost upon us, it’s a time to make a clean sweep and banish everything that is not working or assisting us and creating space for the experiences and life we desire.
I hope you join me in trying these pancakes this morning. Thanks Darci, my new Youtube friend, from the “Minimalist Mama of 10,” while our family doesn’t have any digestive issues with grains, (that we know of) it’s always nice to have a new pancake recipe for our family to try.
Here’s the recipe I got from Darci and her Youtube channel:
2 eggs
1 banana
Coconut oil or butter to spread on cooktop
Directions
1. Blend eggs and banana until frothy
2. Pour batter onto hot cooktop…..(brush on some coconut oil or butter on the griddle first)
3. Flip and when both sides are cooked….serve with syrup and fruit
This recipe was enough for two people
Okay, and while this first batch of mine was not golden, it was absolutely delish…loved the fruit and greek yogurt too!….now I have energy to do some fun stuff today….happy Shrove Tuesday!
Enjoy!!!
And if you need some inspiration to start banishing what isn’t working in your life and creating new energy and space for what you desire, check out this great book that I’ve been reading…or re-reading as is the case here.
The author Denny Sargent doesn’t miss a beat and covers each aspect of our lives when he wrote, “Clean Sweep.” He gets us to analyze each aspect of our life:
Body/Environment
Heart/Emotions
Mind/thoughts
Spiritual/Supernatural
As we look at each category, we can decide what we need to let go and what we want more of and slowly, with new daily practices we can create the life we want. I like starting with the body and our environment because when you start eating healthier, by cutting out sugars and processed foods, it will give you the energy to tackle your environment next. And when you have an environment that you love to be in, you have more energy to bring those you love closer.
This season of Lent….
Look at your living space, decide which items you want to surround yourself with. What do you love…what brings you joy? Everything else goes. In one of Darci’s (Minimalist Mama of 10) she talks about having a dream to move into a small log cabin somewhere rural. Now I can agree….only not on the cabin….I hate to dust….but a tiny house is something on my list…hopefully in the woods…but hey, we have a big family, so sometimes dreams have to wait, but we do what we can with what we have. And that is to be grateful, to live in a state of joy and in AWE for all that surrounds us.
Okay…here’s the book that I’ve been reading and maybe you will find it useful on your path.
And now a link to the YouTube video where Darci, “Minimalist Mama of 10” and her family makes the above pancakes….check her out, ’cause she is so funny and her family are lovely and inspiring.
If you can’t see the above, click on this hyper link to Darci’s video making grain less pancakes…love it!
It’s later…..after dinner and here are a few of our Shrove Tuesday pictures from our pancake dinner…..
My husband David making his golden pancakes….and yes, this is as big as he smiles
….note how light it is at 5:30!
While David was making his classic pancakes….I was trying my hand at Banana chocolate chip pancakes
The griddle pan for our newish stove works great!!!…so now we can have two griddles going for our big family
Guess which pancakes are mine?….yep…theo ones on the right….David’s are the golden ones on the left! Both were yummy though
The little girls still sit at their little table next to us….soon we are going to have to build a bigger table!…or kids are going to have to move out
About to say Grace…..From left to right..Harrison, Clark, David, Grace, and Will…I sit next to the little girls when I’m not behind the camera saying cheese
Will thought this Shrove Pancake dinner was the BEST ever…of course whipping cream and fruit doesn’t hurt!
Clark spent his day bringing in a new dinosaur exhibit to our Science Centre but he was happy to come home to pancakes, fruit and eggs
David’s classic pancake recipe for 8 people
Ingredients 2-1/2 cups of flour
1 tbsp of sugar
Pinch of salt
6 tsp of baking powder
2-1/2 cups of milk
2 eggs
1 tsp vanilla
6 tbsp of vegetable oil
Combine the dry ingredients first in a large bowl. Set aside. In a medium bowl, beat the eggs, slowly adding the milk, vanilla and vegetable oil. Slowly add the wet ingredients to dry but don’t over mix, just mix ’til lumpy is what David says.
Put large spoonfuls on hot griddle and cook until golden brown. Serve hot with maple syrup…fruit and whipping cream…or Greek yogurt is you have it…yum!
Before I wave a final goodbye, this post is dedicated to my beautiful mom, Ethel May, who passed away 5 years ago today. As Darci says, “See you on the flip side!” Love you always!
Thank you for visiting today…..
Until we meet again, may you be well, happy and peaceful.
Two weeks ago today, I said good bye again to our oldest daughter. For those of you who have grown up children, you may understand how hard this is. For those of you still sharing your child’s early years, hold fast and treasure every moment.
For me this is tough.
I don’t process things easily.
Never have.
Having my older children move out into the world is like having a piece of my heart walking outside my body. It hurts. It makes me sad.
It feels like when I was a child and had carefully constructed a house from the red plastic blocks that came in a long round tube. I placed my tiny, Plasticine constructed family all together and just as I was about to play, I would be called away for dinner, or to do something for my mother. Often, upon returning, sometimes a day later and all ready to play, I found my block house collapsed and the dolls were spread all over the floor.
Nothing ever stayed perfect.
Some of you may know that this January I started writing again with Lorna Tureski at the Caetani house. Once a week, our Oak Table group meets, we share our writing and Lorna introduces new ideas and concepts to inspire us for our next week’s assignment.
This week we were to write a portrait study of someone; a family member, a friend, an acquaintance. All I could think about was my daughter who had said goodbye two weeks ago. One minute she was here and I was hoping she would remain for a few more months as she completed editing her novel. Then, suddenly life changed, opportunity knocked and she was swept away on the wind of her own life. Her own dreams.
When I think about her childhood, it flew almost as fast as her grown up time back at home.
The following is a capsule of of our daughter Alyssa and a tiny bit of me, her mom.
Another Goodbye
After years of piano training, her long capable fingers, deftly folded her clothes into the red suitcase I’d bought her before she’d moved to London. Her golden curls covered her face, but I knew she was pressing her lips together as she often did when she was concentrating. Her body had grown so thin this winter with her strict vegan diet and countless pots of tea, and yet despite her delicacy, I knew a strong woman was emerging from her winter’s cocoon.
It had been almost 27 years since I counted each of her tiny fingers for the first time. During a late term prenatal ultrasound, dilated ventricles in her brain were detected and my doctor arranged to have specialists in Vancouver consult on our case. After my husband and I saw multiple doctors at Grace Hospital, the paediatric neuro-surgeon recommended labour be induced a month early, in order for immediate surgery be performed so our baby didn’t suffer further damage to her brain.
The dark delivery room was full of doctors and nurses with only a bright light shining a pathway for our baby to enter the world. As she made her appearance, a hush fell over the room and only slight movement occurred. Finally, Dr. Farquharson, our OB-GYN, passed a wisp of a baby to the paediatrician who broke the silence and joyfully exclaimed, “she’s a keeper!” As I heard our baby’s cry pierce my fears, I exhaled the breath I had been holding since hearing, “there are congenital abnormalities in your baby’s brain.”
Our daughter whom we named, Alyssa Rae, had a rare congenital brain abnormality. The band of white matter connecting the two hemispheres of her brain, called the corpus callosum was missing. In March of 1990, there wasn’t much written on this prognosis. After extensive testing and monitoring, four days after delivery we were being released although the neuro surgeon wanted to periodically follow her progress. On discharge Dr. F said, “ take her home and treat her like normal.” Wearing a pink bunny suit, complete with tail and ears, we bundled our 5 pound baby into her new car seat and we slipped out of the hospital, fearing alarms would sound since we felt we had stolen precious treasure of uncharted worth.
After such a diagnosis, the last thing we were going to do was treat her like normal. Between feedings, I flew into a flurry reading everything I could regarding stimulating a baby’s brain. When she was a newborn, I had various stations of physical therapy set up, encouraging her to move her body in different play settings. We did water therapy daily and tummy time, where she was surrounded with bright coloured toys of different textures. Each afternoon, I tucked her into her blue, pin-striped, cotton snugli and we went out to explore the world. She looked up to me listening aptly as I told her stories of everything on our path, until the rhythm of my stride lulled her into a relaxed state. Her eyes grew heavier and heavier and finally she drifted into a deep, peaceful sleep.
When she was alert, we were swept away, riding in her blue, plushy rocking chair and together we read baskets full of books. Everything from nursery rhymes, to the classics,like, Beatrix Potter’s Peter Rabbit and Margaret Wise Brown’s, “Goodnight Moon.” All the while, complex voicing of compositions by Bach, Vivaldi and Teleman, were constantly flowing out of our stereo speakers, in hopes that these Baroque pieces were threading new neuron connections in her brain. As she grew, we registered her in skating, skiing, dancing, swimming, flute and piano lessons to name just a few.
Her brain must have rewired itself,as there are now studies that indicate children born with an absent corpus callosum often have physical and mental delays. Socially, children with this abnormality appear to have autistic tendencies. Despite all this, Alyssa grew to be a bright child and although we were always waiting for something major to manifest, other than not being brilliant at math, she excelled in school. She became an accomplished pianist completing her grade 10 Royal Conservatory accreditation, she played flute in the school band and in our local youth symphony and she competed and won awards for her Irish dancing. In her late teens she became a lifeguard and although she was never one of those rah, rah, loud and outgoing types,, she quietly made sure everyone was safe on her watch. Socially, she always had friends although she told me later in life, she never found “her people.,”
When she left home the first time at 18, it was to attend the University of Victoria, where she received her BA in English and her B Ed. The second time I said goodbye, was when she decided to accept a teaching position in London. The summer before she left, she reread a beloved book, Mark Haddon’s book, “The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time.” It’s a story of a 15 year boy, Christopher, who is gifted with a superbly logical brain and processes everything analytically and without emotion.
The book is refreshing, as it’s written from Christopher’s unique perspective. The opening takes us right into the drama when Christopher discovers his neighbours dog is murdered next door. Underneath the investigation of this crime, is the fact that Christopher’s mother had also died when he was young. In his quest for answers to the dog’s killer and to discover more about his mother, he feels compelled to leave home, a huge feat for one dealing with his autistic challenges and yet he finally takes a train to London to solve the mystery.
Tightly hugging Alyssa at the airport, as she was about to leave for London, I thought about how similar she was in many ways to Christopher. She was never overly emotional growing up. There was no high drama in the teen years, like a few of her diva like friends displayed. She was quiet and thoughtful, as if she was looking at the world from a distance. A gentle soul in many ways, and yet, here she was, going off on a great adventure to the other side of the world where she didn’t know a soul. She once told me, “Mom, I want to be the heroine in my own story.”
And now, two years later she had returned after successfully teaching and living in London. She had finally met her people and realized she wasn’t the only quirky, introvert in the world, who loved fantasy and geeky, comic conventions. On her travels through most of Europe, exploring and photographing the historic places she had read about as a child, she had found her place in the world, but it had all taken a toll on her.
Returning exhilarated but exhausted, her dad and I had encouraged her to take some time off; to write the novel that had been calling to her for years. She had dreamed of another world, full of characters and adventures of their own and we wanted to give her the space to finally tell that story. Our house was busy though, with 6 younger children still at home, it was never a quiet refuge for a writer. By Christmas time, she finally completed her 1st draft. As we rang in the New Year, I could feel a vibration of discord under the waves of our day to day family life and I knew it was just a matter of time before she left again..
One Friday afternoon in late January she popped her head in my bedroom door and excitedly said, “Mom, I got an job offer in Victoria and they want me to start on Monday.”
Her red suitcases were packed, bedding was stuffed into Rubbermaid boxes and homemaking supplies were all piled at the door. Alyssa picked up and cuddled our Siamese cat, Ryuuki, rubbing her face in his soft fur, drinking in her love of cats, and then she indulged her younger brothers and sisters, who all scrambled around, hugging her waist one more time.
When her dad started to take boxes and suitcases out to the car, I swooped in and held her in my arms for a long time, inhaling the clean scent of her hair. Finally knowing eventually I had to let go, I moved away from her and looked into her clear blue eyes and quoted Christopher’s words from the book we both loved,
”And I know I can do this because I went to London on my own, and because I solved the mystery….and I was brave and I wrote a book and that means I can do anything.”
She nodded and smiled. Tears started to flood my eyes as I knew that was our final code for goodbye again. Before I knew it, she was settled into the front passenger seat of our compact, red Honda Fit and her Dad was heading up our steep driveway, taking her away.
I was blowing kisses and waving madly. I raced to the back of our house, hoping to catch one last glimpse. The lake below our house was a still, grey mirror, reflecting the heavy laden clouds above. Suddenly, a shot of red flew down the road below our house and a waving hand could be seen from the window of the car.
First day teaching at her new school back in Canada
And to all those who venture away from home, may the light of the evening star shine upon you and guide you on your way….until you are called home once again.
Until we meet again, may you be well, happy and peaceful.
