What does a Caesar salad and living fully, have in common? Very little, unless you look at it from my perspective. A few events and experiences in the last week have inspired this blog post and finally this morning everything is formulating clearly in my mind.

If you aren’t interested in the connection, then scroll down to find my easy and delicious Caesar salad recipe. If you have a cup of tea nearby AND the time to immerse yourself in one of my novellas, then I invite you to read on.

Our oldest son “Clark,” which interestingly enough is old English and means scholar, likes to watch our National news whenever he emerges from his room. We usually only see Clark at meal time and on the rare occasion he wishes to be with his family, which is usually only at mealtime. Now, I don’t want to give you the idea that Clark is anti social or anti- family. Far from it. After all he chose to stay home and attend our local University, even though he had been accepted at an excellent University a distance from our home.

Clark brought home dry ice from his day at the science centre

He can be quite an extrovert. He can talk to anyone about anything, anytime of the day.  For only being 21 he is quite accomplished, having achieved his second Dan black belt in Tae Kwon Do, became an accredited lifeguard, as well as excelling in playing violin and sax in our local youth symphony and jazz band. When he isn’t studying Science at University, you can find him in our local gym lifting weights, creating music and playing games with friends or working at the Science Centre. He is known as the Science guy in the birthday party set, as he can make a mean cup of flubber and give you a wild ride on the gyro chair. When he does come home, he is pleasant, regales us with a few interesting tidbits from his day and then he heads to his room to recharge. I also think he squeezes out his sponge, so when he re-emerges he is capable of absorbing more knowledge.

When he does make that entrance, it usually coincides with opening the fridge and turning on the T.V. to our news station. I suppose this is one of his many sources for knowledge but personally, I find the news too disturbing. Terrorism, countries fighting and killing their neighbours, and even our  own federal government politicians squabbling like little children. It all seems to unnerve me and put a damper on my daily enthusiasm.

Clark appears to be unmoved by the events transpiring all over the world. He is able to watch with detachment but with interest as he forms his own ideas about the world he lives in and perhaps too, how he would like to help it evolve. His is the next generation to create change and if Clark is any indicator of how they will manage, it will certainly be with conscious intent. He lives fully in the moment and makes wherever he is a better place.

Another source of news comes from our local paper. The “Morning Star.” It brings a piece of community into our homes and reminds us how closely we are all connected. Even though it’s only a few dozen pages in length, at most, I usually don’t have much time for this, published three times a week paper. Thankfully, while the little girls played, I took the time last Wednesday to flip through the pages as I would have missed out on something that has impacted me. Maybe this is how Clark views his obsession of watching the global news.

When I turned to the obituary section, I got hit in the gut with shock and sadness over seeing a friend’s picture. I say friend, because whenever I saw ” Erin,” I always felt good. She was the best sort of friend. One who always makes you feel happy that you ran into her. I met her for the first time when her oldest child was in preschool with my 3rd oldest, Mitchell. She had a lovely laid back attitude and a quick, light laugh that filled the air with joy. I loved that she didn’t bat an eye when her little daughter wore a tiara to preschool every single day throughout the year. I used to be more controlling and would have encouraged our child to leave the head piece at home, so when I asked her about it she said, something like, “well I’m going to let her be a princess for as long as she wants.” I LOVED that about her. I aspire to be more like that.

Over the years, I would bump into Erin at our local music school, where we would discuss the benefits of music lessons and how to encourage practice without pushing our children. Then there were the times I saw her at soccer games, me yelling my head off but her with a relaxed, “whatever” attitude. She was always interested in our ever growing family and would always say, “I don’t know how you do it!” Which made me feel stronger somehow and even though things may have been difficult the morning I saw her, after her comment, I would dig deeper and find the best of myself to mother our brood.

I haven’t seen her in a number of years as although our children attended the same high school, once children become teens they aren’t always accompanied by their parents. It wasn’t until I was helping out at the grad decorating afternoon last June when I heard someone say, “did you hear about Erin?” And I said, “no, what are you talking about?” Over the years I have been so absorbed raising our family and have not kept my ear to the community gossip. I had heard our family was often the subject, with our larger size and us having children well into our 40’s. I preferred to distance myself from people who were in the “know.” But this had put me at a disadvantage as well, since I wasn’t aware when someone was having a hard time.

I had no idea she had been battling brain cancer and was in the final days of her fight. Throughout Mitchell’s graduation weekend, I kept thinking about Erin, her two children, her family and how they were doing. It impacted me. D said he saw her not looking so great at the grad picture gathering but I had missed her. Mitchell too had been affected by this news. He knew all about it of course because of social media/Facebook, but he hadn’t ever said anything to me until I asked him about it. I know he was thinking in his teen terms something to the effect,”by the grace of God go I,” in that his mother was physically well and his classmate, he had known since preschool, was losing her’s.

Over the summer, I was on my guard every time I opened the paper wondering if this would be the day I would hear about Erin leaving the earth. The summer came and went and she presumably fought on. Then on September 18th, as we had just heard  the teacher’s strike was over and our kids were going back to school, she lost her fight. She was going home. I was so sad when I saw her face on the obituary page. She shouldn’t be there. Heck, we are almost the same age. Her youngest still hasn’t even graduated from high school. Do you ever wonder about life? How things don’t seem fair. Beautiful, kind, generous people, leaving the world while evil persists in all sorts of individuals.

Of course if you have read my blog, you know about my husbands co- worker, whose young teen son was killed in a boating accident this past June. And then, our oldest daughter’s high school friend dying in May, from complications after a double lung transplant. She had fought CF with hope and optimism her whole life and would have turned 24 last June.

While all these events touched me, I was thinking, the one thing we have in common is that we are ALL going to die.  This used to be a joke in my husband’s family since his Dad sold cemetary property and planned funerals. He used to say, “none of us get out of here alive.” The other thing we have in common is we have a choice how we are going to live?

My 11 year old daughter Grace had a sleepover on Friday night. Early in the week she had come home from her first days at school a bit depressed since her good friend had moved to Alberta. When I suggested a back to school sleepover party on Friday night she perked right up. I knew she was excited about it because when I went into her room to collect the garbage from her wicker basket under her desk, I saw a piece of paper outlining fun ideas for her party. “Dinner, 2 hours at our local rec centre pool, movie/popcorn, games”…it just made me smile.

As I was thinking about my friend Erin letting her little girl be a princess when she was small, I thought about my Grace and how I wanted her to enjoy her princess years too. She is going to be leaving childhood pretty soon and becoming a teen and I wanted her to have some wonderful memories of this special time.

I decided to make a homemade pizza, which is often our Friday night dinner anyway, and also make a caesar salad which is Grace’s all time favourite. When I was at the grocery store though I forgot to pick up the dressing we usually purchase. The old me, would have called D to bring some home after work (using more gas to drive to the store) but the new me, trying to be frugal while being more sustainable, with a can do attitude, decided to make it from scratch. I Googled a bunch of recipes and came up with a creation for our evening’s salad. It absolutely amazes me how empowered I feel when I don’t need a product….cross out caesar dressing off my grocery list. I can now make it from SCRATCH.  I know weird but I get a great sense of satisfaction from little things in life, like THAT.

Grace and her friends, I was admiring all the girl’s long hair and of course, I was seeing their invisible princess tiaras too.

The pizzas turned out delicious (cheese being the top choice for the girls but wow..the vegetarian I made was superb, if I do say so myself) and the salad was sensational. I made a large bowl but every last bit of romaine was eaten. A great sign of success! Especially among tweens, who don’t always like their veggies. The sleepover was smashing too. The girls liked the dinner, the pool time, the movies, the popcorn/licorice. In morning, D got up early on Saturday to make them pancakes with fruit, syrup and whipped cream and I made them a fruit smoothie. One of the girls had to get up early to go to her gymnastics class and then she said her family were off for an afternoon hike at a mountain about a 2 hour drive from our hometown. This family is always living life with “gusto.” They always are doing something physically challenging.

The celebration of life service for my friend was later that afternoon. I didn’t attend. I thought about it but then felt a better place for me to remember her was in my garden. So while D puttered around the garage, I mowed the lawn, cultivated around my still growing herbs and turned the contents in our compost bin. Once living grass, leaves, vegetable and fruit peelings are now rich, dark fertile dirt. Full of potential for new living things to grow in next spring.

We all are going to die but we also have a choice how we are going to live.What things can we grow in our fertile lives. What do we want to create,  how we can be a service to those around us, how we can help those who are struggling all around the world. It’s a reality check that brings me daily back to how I want to live fully.

A while ago, I did a meditation challenge with Dr. Deepak Chopra and I wrote down something on his web site that touched me.

“Today, and everyday, I give that which I want to receive.” I nourish the Universe and the Universe nourishes me.”

Yes, sometimes it’s just about making a great ceasar salad and letting my daughter be a princess for a bit longer but mostly it’s living life with gusto. Giving all of me to the world. I have a lovely quote on a book mark I use for my soul filled books and as I absorb new ideas and thoughts, I close my book on this idea;

“If there is light in the soul…..there will be peace in the world.” ~Chinese proverb~

Today, what I can share with the world is my caesar salad recipe and my light.

Buddha said~”Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared.”

Today, I’m thinking of Erin. All the kind, encouraging things she said to me and all the laughs she shared with me. All the light she brought to the world. I hope she is at peace.

“Precious Lord, take my hand.
Lead me on. Let me stand.
I am tired. I am weak. I am worn.
Through the storm,
Through the night,
Lead me on to the light.
Take my hand, precious Lord
and lead me home.”

~African-American Spiritual~

Please join me in lighting the world and living fully while we are here, for my friend Erin, for all the people struggling, and for the people whom you have loved and hold close to your heart.

.

AND now, finally here is my caesar salad recipe…..for after all, we have to eat too. This is part of living life with gusto, my dear Italian friend Jane would wholeheartedly agree!

Here’s are the main ingredients you will need

You will also need croutons, bacon bits,

Grace’s Caesar Salad 

Ingredients

1 head of romaine lettuce
1 cup of homemade croutons
1/8 cup bacon bits (you can purchase vegan bacon bits too)
2 cups of croutons (easy to make)
1/4 cup of grated Parmesan cheese

And here is our Friday night, sleepover dinner. A dinner fit for princesses!