Education

Banana Muffins ~ and Why We Don’t Homeschool ~

/ Lee Reynolds / 2 Comments

Welcome February and welcome you.

“Kids and Education”

That’s what this post is about.

If you’re not interested in listening to some of my thoughts, and just want to make some great banana muffins, then scroll down and I’ll meet you at the bottom of this page.

If you ARE interested in hearing my reasons for NOT home-schooling, then continue on.

Warning though, it’s a bit of a novella. You may want to get a big cup of tea.

Let’s chat.

If you’re in this parenting gig too,  you may be able to relate to some of my thoughts on the topic. If you are trying to decide how you want to educate your children, this post may give you a glimpse into what has worked for us, is continuing to work for us, and why we chose to make the choices we did/do.

What prompted this whole post, was partly my last post in January. It feels so long ago now. I shared feelings of floundering, ever since our twins started grade one last fall. After almost twenty eight years of raising children, having the house empty was a first for me.

I’m afraid I’m not one of those parents that sings, “hallelujah,” when kids go back to school after the summer break.And on the last day of school in June, I’m one of the first parents to be standing outside the school, arms wide open, a big smile on my face, gleefully welcoming summer AND our children back home for two glorious months.

I’m waving at my dearest friend Tamara, who has stood next to me waiting for her kids too.

Choosing to send them to school is hard for me.

Every day.

This morning, when I went into William’s still dark bedroom at 7 am to rub his back and whisper, good morning, he told me that he hadn’t slept well last night. “Oh really,” I said containing my excitement. “Do you think, maybe, ….you need to stay home?” I asked, silently hoping he would agree. “No, I want to go,” he said, with a stretch and a yawn. “We are making some stuff for ground hog day.”

~Sigh~

“Okay, cool,” I said, feeling a bit deflated.

Then later, as the kids sat around the island, eating their fruit and oatmeal and I was warming up some baked beans for their lunch thermoses, Will said something totally out of the blue. “Mom, if you knew this was the last day that you had on earth, what would you do?”

WOW!

Where did that come from?

But looking at my son, his blonde curls messy from sleep, wearing his, “Happy New Year” pj’s with a dog blowing a horn on the front, I’m not surprised. He lives in a state of light and often asks deep questions.  I looked into his questioning blue eyes and told him,

“If this was the last day I had on earth, I would want to spend it with my kids.”

That must have touched him, he got up, reached his arms around my neck and pulled me in close for one of his smacky kisses.

Oh YEAH!

I don’t like sending them to school.

I would rather spend every day of their childhood with them.

Right now, as we move forward raising our last four children, I’m reevaluating my life. I’m trying to figure out who I am at this stage in my life and decide how I want to spend my spare time when our children are at school. Part of me wants to return to work full time. After all, the kids are gone for almost seven hours every day, five days a week. I can only clean the house so much; and I’ve discovered that in this tale end of my life, scrubbing floors and dusting is not how I want to spend my time. But as I type this post, I realize that educating our children isn’t just about sending them off to school each day.

 It’s about being there when they get home and continuing the learning….in all ways.
  
Another reason this subject came up, is that recently one of my favourite vlogging families uploaded a video that spurred my thoughts on the matter. Like a dog that needs a walk, my thoughts have been mulling around my brain, words trailing like a leash, anxious to be picked up and allowed to run.

PLUS, this blog isn’t just about becoming more sustainable, being environmentally aware, and earth friendly. It’s evolving into a place where I can submerge my thoughts to a deeper degree and plunge into the ground, reflecting on how, a mom like me can really help our planet. A light bulb recently exploded and the notion of educating our children is where it’s at. After all they are the next guardians on earth. Also, I like the idea of connecting with other moms.

Moms like me.

Darci Isabella, is such a mom.

She has a large family; like me. She grows her own food; like me. She juices and eats healthy; like me. She has chickens; like me. She is on a minimalist path; like me,  She has a soulfull faith that guides her; like me. And she home-schools her children.

Not like me.

She is also, much funnier than me!!!

And can use power tools!

She recently uploaded a video titled, “Developing Positive Self Esteem,” but the seeds of  this vlog, deal with her choice to home-school her children. As I watched it, I started thinking about why we chose NOT TO home-school. If you want to have a peak at the video, click on the hyper link….or click below.

Here is the YouTube video that prompted this post: Darci Isabella’s video titled, “Developing Positive Self Esteem.:

Isn’t she the greatest!!!! I really love watching her videos. They are fun, upbeat, and EDUCATIONAL. Also, her children are lovely in every sense of the word and she shares them generously with the world.

Before I go further into my post, I have to say that I don’t want this to be a debate about home-schooling versus public education. Not at all. Each has it’s merits. Each family is unique, as are their children and their learning needs. Also, I realize that we all have different ideas and goals for our children. For instance, my mom just wanted her four daughters to just graduate from high school, since she had been unable to do so.  Our over all goal, is to keep enough doors open, so our children can decide which one to enter when they become young adults. The big is that they be happy, well, and peaceful.

So our answers to the question…….

Are we going to home-school?

Are we going to use public school?

Are we going to use a private school? 

will be different for each of us.

IT’S ALL GOOD!

In Darci’s case she shares a rather humiliating experience that happened to her as a teenager in public school. What made this event worse, was she felt that she didn’t have an adult to confide in.Then, she shared another experience when her first daughter was bullied in preschool and the teacher didn’t react in a proactive manner. How unfortunate. I’m sure, she had other reasons and experiences too but after that last one, she said she decided to home-school her daughter and her subsequent children. It worked for her.

And is continuing to work for her, as she has older children and younger ones; like me.

Watching her video, got me thinking about how our own life events/experiences influence us and how we choose the various paths we take in life. For instance, my father was killed in a truck accident when I was five years old. I’m terrified when my husband has to travel by vehicle on business. But I let go and trust. When our older children got to driving age, my instinct was to sell our vehicles (my mom did that when I turned 16) and prevent them from driving.

But again, I let go and trusted.

Do I like letting go?

No!

Was it scary?

Yes, absolutely!

But it’s part of this parenting gig.

I wasn’t going to let my fears dictate which path our children would take. Although if you were to ask our children, there have been several times where I have been overly protective with regards to them driving with other parents, other teens, etc and that fear raised it’s ugly head. Hey, we can’t be perfectly brave all the time.

Trusting and letting go starts the moment our babies are born and continues as our children learn to walk, talk, and head in the direction of an independent life away from us.

Isn’t that what we want for them?….an independent life?

But hey….before our kids took off driving, we made sure they had professional driving instructors prepare them for the road ahead.

And in a way, that’s why we are choosing NOT to home-school. We feel that public school provides them with the experts in every field of study, who will teach them everything they need so they don’t crash in life.

Just like Darci, our oldest daughter had a lot to do with the education choices we made. Alyssa, arrived in March 1990, and was born with a congenital brain abnormality. She had an agenesis of the corpus callosum. When we were released from the high risk maternity hospital in Vancouver, where she was born a month early, our pediatric neuro-surgeon, told us there were no studies with regards to our daughter’s potential. He planned to follow her case and see her in the first year,  but the last words he said to me on discharge were:

“take her home and treat her like normal.”

WHAT?

I’ve written about this experience in another post, so I won’t go into detail, but you can imagine, with that diagnoses hanging over our heads, the last thing we did was take her home and treat her like we hadn’t heard…missing corpus callosum.

Hence, my foray into the world of science and all it knew AT THE TIME, regarding stimulating brains.

AND this was BEFORE internet!

In every way Alyssa developed beautifully as a baby, but not having children before meant we didn’t know what was normal development. I was always waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Alyssa often calls herself the”experimental child,” but isn’t every first child that? In our case, not only were we ignorant regarding normal baby/child development, we didn’t have a clue what to expect from our child. It was a whole new world for us, and scary at times.

We, therefore decided to try a bit of everything to stimulate her brain and expose her to all sorts of learning situations. We will never know for sure but I believe all the years of swimming, piano, and Irish Dancing, played a large role in rewiring her brain. All that movement between the right and left hands/arms and feet stimulated the right and left part of her brain.

Alyssa the summer before Kindergarten when she was five. She was developing normally in every way

By the time Alyssa was ready for kindergarten, she had been exposed to a multitude of activities and experiences. At times, I felt like we were overwhelming her. She was a gentle and peaceful little girl, who quietly went along with our game plan. From early on, I knew some of her favourite moments were when we curled up together in bed at night, reading  about fairies and make believe lands.

 

Alyssa on her first day of kindergarten in Sept 1995

We thought the sun rose and set on her and she was brilliant. But that diagnoses, lingered above us always. To us, every decision we made was generated from a place of moving her forward and helping her to reach her full potential.

If I had been a trained teacher, I may have contemplated keeping her at home but I knew others, some with masters in their fields, were waiting at the school and ready to teach her. How could I not provide the best education for her in every area of study. Also, the area where we lived (we are still here)  had/has an excellent elementary and high school, with high academic success. Keep in mind too, this was twenty two years ago, home schooling wasn’t as big as it is now.

So with the decision made, we said goodbye, let go and trusted and she entered public school.

 

Alyssa waiting for the school bus with her little brother Clark. It’s not always easy going to school!

And she didn’t look back.

She THRIVED!

In kindergarten she met her best friend. Even though those girls have moved to different parts of the world, they remain BEST friends to this day. I often think, had I not put her in school, she would have missed out on having Brianna in her life.

Sadly, Brianna and her family moved to Mexico when they were in grade 5 but they kept in touch over the years and in the summers when her parents would return for a visit, the girls picked up exactly where they left off. Two years ago, Brianna married and Alyssa was her maid of honour. Soon she will have her first baby and I know who will be a special Auntie to this wee one.

Sometimes our friends, especially our girl friends, are as close as a sister would be and for years, Alyssa only had brothers so her friends were really important to her.

From left to right…Brianna, Alyssa, Ameila, and Maureen….Alyssa needed her girl friends with no sisters for many years…now she has three sisters although they are way younger than her

And by the time her little brother Clark was ready to start school, we were convinced school was working well for our family so we registered him too for public school. Alyssa set the tone. Clark was bright lad, an early reader, curious about everything, and educators recognized this quickly. He was placed in the high potential learning program early on, where further stimuli was provided to challenge him.

We did not however leave the education solely in our school’s hands. We feel that they can provide a well rounded base for our children but we wanted them to be further stimulated.

When Alyssa, and her subsequent siblings came home from school, and it’s something we still do today with our youngest children; we have a snack, we chat about our day and then the children go and spend about another hour to an hour and a half, working on their music, their math and any homework they have from school.

If you want to see how Canada’s education ranks in the world, check out this National Post article which ranks Canada number 7 . Great! but in the area of math, we still need to work harder….or smarter.

Here are a few tools I use daily to have our children practice their math skills.

We use the IXL math site, and the Xtramath program to stay on top of their basic math skills.

Also, if we are going to be out after school and there may be any waiting time between activities, I make sure to provide age appropriate material. I often print off a few of these math sheets which the children whip off quickly from the K5 learning site.   

I know, I know, you would think they would learn enough math during the day but they don’t. Even though math is everywhere from telling time first thing in the morning, to baking with mom, to estimating how much snow fell overnight, it’s something we need to keep working on. Practice, practice, practice, is what I have found in creating success in math for our children.

After dinner, it’s bath and then we enjoy reading with our children, one on one and then we read in group settings. The little kids and I just finished reading, “Little House on the Prairie,” and now I’m reading, “Little Women,” to the twins. David and William cuddle together and are currently enjoying reading the “Harry Potter,” books.

Grace followed in her siblings footsteps by loving books….Alyssa used to say, “she’s a genius!” of her baby sister

In the summer we always have a family book on the go. I remember reading “Lord of the Flies,” and “To Kill a Mockingbird,” with our elementary age children and was happily surprised to realize they understood the underlining meaning of each book. You can never underestimate children’s ability to  discern complex issues. Sometimes they get it easier than we do as adults. We complicate things and our judgments get in the way.

Clark far left with his battle of the books team…he should be smiling BIG…’cause they were the district champs, Alyssa also participated in the Battle of the Books competition and her team won for the district two consecutive years

So yeah, math and reading, ARE huge in our house.

The other decision we made early on was to ask our children to pick one physical, and one fine art activity, outside of their school hours. Although they often did more than that, as they were passionate about several things and didn’t want to give anything up. For instance, Mitchell loved cello and guitar so he had lessons in both, as well as being involved in a guitar group and the music school’s string orchestra. As if this wasn’t enough, he was also on the rep soccer team. This wasn’t uncommon for any of our children. They all learned to balance and time manage from an early age and several of them have told me that learning to do well in school, while juggling extra curricular activities, conditioned them to be able to take on a full course load at University, as well as working part time. Alyssa worked on her ARCT in piano while doing a full course load at University.

Alyssa is all smiles after a piano festival…here is a certificate for first class honours

Alyssa danced all through her childhood starting with ballet, tap and then she Irish Danced for eight years. I will miss watching her ringlets bounce to the an Irish Reel.

Above she is with a few of her Irish dancing group at a community event
Alyssa on piano, Clark on violin and Mitchell on cello…later Harrison would join them as the second violinist in a few years…here they are playing at a school event. The song was “peaceful day”….but practicing this piece had been nothing but…still good memories!!!
Over the years the kids were in various skiing programs but I think they still loved skiing together the best…except the year Alyssa hit and tree with her head and had to be taken off the mountain in an ambulance!
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If you are wondering how we as parents juggled it all, financially anyway, we had the mind set that there was no do over. Our thought was that our children would have one childhood only to explore their interests and passions and figure out what they loved, and we would have to be creative paying for it all. It’s interesting how when you commit to something, all sorts of material assistance comes your way. I also became a master at time management and organization. Some years, we were literally flying from activity to activity and we made a lot of financial sacrifices. It wasn’t easy living on one income and yes, there was stress some days but when we reevaluated with our children at the beginning of each school year what their goals are, those were the choices we made.

 

Mitchell juggled playing cello and guitar, and all sorts of sports. Above he’s holding an award from a cello festival and below, he’s trying out a new guitar…I miss hearing him play both

 

Achieving success in these areas, built self confidence and  strong positive self esteem, for all of us.

An unexpected bonus to these extra activities were that our children developed deep and lasting relationships with some of their teachers and coaches. These were valuable mentors in our children’s lives. Life lessons were taught every day. For instance, when our oldest daughter was preparing for a piano festival one spring and starting to get really nervous about it, her teacher said these words,

“Alyssa, you have worked hard on these pieces and you are ready to perform them. What you need to do now is just relax and let the music out.”

We have been fortunate.

Grace graduating from preschool above. YES, I did think this was a bit much but it’s something they do at this preschool. She will graduate next from high school in 2021.

I understand why some parents choose to home-school their children so they can protect them from what could be perceived as negative experiences, such as bullying or peer pressure. Maybe they would prefer their children also aren’t exposed to ideas and concepts being taught that they may not agree with. But at some point we need to let go don’t we? At some point we need to let our children figure out how to manage in the world and also decide what ideas resonate within.

I believe it’s these moments in life, these negative, not feel great at the time moments, that teach our children the most. I WANT them to experience these too. How else are our children going to learn to cope in the world? These moments provide a rich opportunity for them to think about how they are feeling, make choices on how they will react, and how they are going to solve the problem, whether it be a bullying situation, or a social issue as a teen, or learning to advocate for themselves with a teacher.

We experienced that last one with our son Mitchell when he was 10 and 11. He had a grade 5 teacher who had a notorious reputation for being a strict, control hungry bully. We would have preferred that he be placed in a different class but our thought process at the beginning of the year was, “well, in life we have to learn to get along with all sorts of people.” It certainly was a year of growth and it had an ending that was unexpected.

Mitchell had good self esteem going into grade five and he was a straight A student. His teacher told him that he didn’t give anyone straight A’s out of principal, no matter how hard they worked…and Mitchell worked hard. His teacher was unfair, not respectful of the children and ranted on for what felt like hours to Mitchell about insignificant issues. He wanted to get on with learning.

One day Mitchell had enough when his teacher again was harshly critical of a classmate and he finally spoke up. The teacher was shocked that anyone would challenge him and a power struggle ensued. Mr. P fired back using intimidation and threats, but Mitchell kept calling him on his negative actions pointing out inequity. It was a rough time and at one point Mitchell came home telling me he had had enough. He wanted to be home-schooled. Believe me, I thought about it but in the end I’m glad that we encouraged him to hang in there.

We tried to talk to the teacher but he just denied his actions and blamed it all on an unruly class. Not getting anywhere with Mr. P. we had no choice but to take our concerns to the Principal, who I’m sure was aware of the nature of this teacher. Although this teacher had been at our school for years, he did not return the following fall and we never heard officially if our complaint prompted his removal. Many parents thanked us for stepping forward but it was really Mitchell.

Our sweet boy was always quick to recognize inequity and stand up for what was right

The point of all of this is our son learned a valuable lesson from a difficult public school situation. He learned that he could stand up and speak his truth. He also demonstrated to his classmates how you can do so respectfully and in the end make a difference.

Would I have liked for Mitchell to have had a better teacher that year.

YES!

BUT it taught me an important lesson too. That negative situations teach us more than we think and we shouldn’t be fearful of them. I have a rock that Mitchell painted that year that has the words, “respect,” “kindness,” and “hope,” on them. It a door stop in the summer time and as I whoosh in and out with my kids in my glory months, I’m reminded about a little boy’s courage and perseverance for justice.

If he hadn’t gone to school, he wouldn’t have had that in his education pocketbook.

Who knows when he will cash in on that experience.

As I write this post now, our first string, as our basketball loving son, Harrison, likes to call our first four kids, are out the door. They have now graduated and have moved off to University and beyond.

Grace, William, Kathryn, and Victoria are still on the court.

Our oldest daughter, Alyssa, graduated in 2008. She now has a bachelor’s degree in English and in Education. She was our first teacher and taught us how to be parents. She is now a qualified teacher, world traveler, writer, photographer, pianist, and so much more. She’s brilliant! (you are my sunshine and daddy’s sweet feet)

Our oldest son, Clark, graduated in 2011. He now has a Bachelor of Science Degree and plans to attend law school in the fall. Clark was given my surname, which means, “scholar,”which I find interesting as he is always on the quest towards learning. As a little blonde headed lad, he picked up every stick, rock, and bug for observation. He now teaches at our local Science Centre and encourages kids to ask hard questions and find the answers. (he was my little monkey..always curious)

Mitchell, graduated in 2014 and will obtain his Bachelor’s of Science Degree, majoring in Psychology, later this spring. Mitchell has always been a happy, looking for fun kid; wanting to try out everything. He’s also been the kids who has gone to the emergency room more than any of our other kids from all his sport related injuries. When he was little he had a commanding presence, and moved through his life knowing exactly what he wanted. When he was three years old and I was telling him to do something, he looked up at me and said, “you aren’t the boss of me.” Thank you for teaching me that I was only a caretaker of your body, until you could head out into the world on your own. You also taught us a lot about “respect, kindness and hope.” (you will always be my “bear”)

And that brings me to the end of our first string. Harrison, who won the most sportsmanlike award in basketball in grade 12. He learned a lot about being a good sport being the middle of our pack of kids. As a young child he always wanted us to play board games with us but would cry desperately if he lost. In high school though he learned a lot about the value of winning and losing during his years playing on the high school basket ball team. Our kid’s high school is well known for their strong academics but let’s just say, if you develop character more when you lose, then Harrison and all his basketball teammates are abundant in character, for they lost just about every game they played….okay, maybe not every game but it sure felt like it at times. Harrison graduated in 2017 and is currently attending his first year of Science at University, heavy to the business courses since he plans to claim that as his major in year three. One other thing I want to tell you about Harrison is that a few years ago, we got a new cherry red “LG” washing machine that played a jaunty tune when the cycle ended. When I would ask Harrison how his day went at school he would say, “LG Mom!” which translated meant, “life’s good!” Yes l’lil Piggie, life is good with you in it.

Before I close, I did want to say that our parenting started with a strong foundation and the belief that one parent should stay home. Also, we adopted an attachment- parent type of lifestyle, ie: breastfeeding, allowing self weaning, co-sleeping, wearing our babies, keeping them close and listening to their cues.

William in a rare moment  where he wasn’t attached to me in his sling. The words above his head couldn’t be more true. “To our children we give two things, one is roots, the other is wings”

We found that by the time our children were ready for preschool/kindergarten, they had a good sense of trust and confidence and were ready and happy to head off to school. It’s our belief that when you provide a strong base for kids and maintain it throughout their childhood, it gives them the trust and confidence to explore their world.

Now I have to say that when William was about to start school, four years ago,I did revisit the idea of home-schooling. Interestingly enough, it was my fear that prevented me from doing so. Public school had worked for all our other children and I didn’t know if I could provide him with everything that he needed to be ready for life. He was intensely curious and extremely social and we felt that keeping him at home would limit him. I admire the families who do choose to home-school, because they are brave and in a way they are taking the roadless traveled, which I have always admired. I know that this can inspire the next generation of children to forge new avenues in life. Times are changing and this world needs the next generation to be free thinking and open to new ideas and ways of working in the world.

My final thought on the matter is:

Whatever choice we make for our children, as long as it comes from a place of love, it is the right one. ~Lee Reynolds~

I’d like to dedicate the following YouTube video, called, “Light~Sleeping at Last,” to my eight beautiful kids. 

         “I’ll will always hold you close, but I will learn to let you go.”

 

 

And now, as if this blog wasn’t full enough, I want to share my banana muffin recipe with you, which in my opinion, is the perfect snack to go along with a fruit smoothie when the kids come home from school.

The children took some of their muffins to share (more on the side) to their violin group class last Monday

 

Here are Will, Kate and Tori trying out my Banana muffins and a fruit smoothie which are a perfect after school snack

Hope’s Banana Muffins

Ingredients

3 large mashed, (ripe) bananas
3/4 cup brown sugar
1 slightly beaten eggs
1/3 cup coconut oil or margarine…melted
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
1 cup flour 
1/2 cup oatmeal
1/2 cup unsweetened coconut 

(Topping: walnuts, coconut and brown sugar)

In a large bowl, mash bananas. Add the sugar and beaten egg. Add the melted coconut or margarine. Mix well

Set aside.

In a medium bowl,  add all the dry ingredients and mix them well.

Now add the dry ingredients to the wet ingredients. Stir until only just combined….do not over mix.


Spray muffin tins and fill with mixture,  3/4 to the top. 

Top with a sprinkling of walnuts, coconut and brown sugar

Place in preheated oven at 375 degree for 15 to 20 minutes. I like mine only until the toothpick comes out clean…the aroma in the kitchen as they are cooking is delectable!!!

Enjoy.

Thank you for coming to visit today.

Until we meet again, may you be well, happy and peaceful.

Blessings from Hope

Goodbye Again

/ Lee Reynolds / 1 Comment


Two weeks ago today, I said good bye again to our oldest daughter. For those of you who have grown up children, you may understand how hard this is. For those of you still sharing your child’s early years, hold fast and treasure every moment. 

For me this is tough.

I don’t process things easily.
Never have.
Having my older children move out into the world is like having a piece of my heart walking outside my body. It hurts. It makes me sad.

It feels like when I was a child and had carefully constructed a house from the red plastic blocks that came in a long round tube. I placed my tiny, Plasticine constructed family all together and just as I was about to play, I would be called away for dinner, or to do something for my mother. Often, upon returning, sometimes a day later and all ready to play, I found my block house collapsed and the dolls were spread  all over the floor.

Nothing ever stayed perfect. 

Some of you may know that this January I started writing again with Lorna Tureski at the Caetani house. Once a week, our Oak Table group meets, we share our writing and Lorna introduces new ideas and concepts to inspire us for our next week’s assignment.

This week we were to write a portrait study of someone; a family member, a friend, an acquaintance. All I could think about was my daughter who had said goodbye two weeks ago. One minute she was here and I was hoping she would remain for a few more months as she completed editing her novel. Then, suddenly life changed, opportunity knocked and she was swept away on the wind of her own life. Her own dreams.

When I think about her childhood, it flew almost as fast as her grown up time back at home.

The following is a capsule of  of our daughter Alyssa and a tiny bit of me, her mom.
                                                             Another Goodbye

 

After years of piano training, her long capable fingers, deftly folded her clothes into the red suitcase I’d bought her before she’d moved to London. Her golden curls covered her face, but I knew she was pressing her lips together as she often did when she was concentrating. Her body had grown so thin this winter with her strict vegan diet and countless pots of tea, and yet despite her delicacy, I knew a strong woman was emerging from her winter’s cocoon.

 

It had been almost 27 years since I counted each of her tiny fingers for the first time. During a late term prenatal ultrasound, dilated ventricles in her brain were detected and my doctor arranged to have specialists in Vancouver consult on our case. After my husband and I saw multiple doctors at  Grace Hospital, the paediatric neuro-surgeon recommended labour be induced a month early, in order for immediate surgery be performed so our baby didn’t suffer further damage to her brain.

 

The dark delivery room was full of doctors and nurses with only a bright light shining a pathway for our baby to enter the world. As she made her appearance, a hush fell over the room and only slight movement occurred. Finally, Dr. Farquharson, our OB-GYN, passed a wisp of a baby to the paediatrician who broke the silence and joyfully exclaimed, “she’s a keeper!” As I heard our baby’s cry pierce my fears, I exhaled the breath I had been holding since hearing, “there are congenital abnormalities in your baby’s brain.”

 

Our daughter whom we named, Alyssa Rae, had a rare congenital brain abnormality. The band of white matter connecting the two hemispheres of her brain, called the corpus callosum was missing.  In March of 1990, there wasn’t much written on this prognosis. After extensive testing and monitoring, four days after delivery we were being released although the neuro surgeon wanted to periodically follow her progress. On discharge Dr. F said, “ take her home and treat her like normal.” Wearing a pink bunny suit, complete with tail and ears, we bundled our 5 pound baby into her new car seat and we slipped out of the hospital, fearing alarms would sound since we felt we had stolen  precious treasure of uncharted worth.

 

 

After such a diagnosis, the last thing we were going to do was treat her like normal. Between feedings,  I flew into a flurry reading everything I could regarding stimulating a baby’s brain.  When she was a newborn, I had various stations of physical therapy set up, encouraging her to move her body in different play settings. We did water therapy daily and tummy time, where she was surrounded with bright coloured toys of different textures. Each afternoon, I tucked her into her blue, pin-striped, cotton snugli  and we went out to explore the world. She looked up to me listening aptly as I told her stories of everything on our path, until the rhythm of my stride lulled her into a relaxed state. Her eyes grew heavier and heavier and finally she drifted into a deep, peaceful sleep. 
When she was alert, we were swept away, riding in her blue, plushy  rocking chair and together we read baskets full of books. Everything from nursery rhymes, to the classics,like, Beatrix Potter’s Peter Rabbit  and Margaret Wise Brown’s, “Goodnight Moon.” All the while, complex voicing of compositions by Bach, Vivaldi and Teleman, were constantly flowing out of our stereo speakers, in hopes that these Baroque pieces were threading new neuron connections in her brain. As she grew, we registered her in skating, skiing, dancing, swimming, flute and piano lessons to name just a few. 

 

Her brain must have rewired itself,as there are now studies that indicate children born with an absent corpus callosum often have physical and mental delays. Socially, children with this abnormality appear to have autistic tendencies. Despite all this, Alyssa grew to be a bright child and although we were always waiting for something major to manifest, other than not being brilliant at math, she excelled in school. She became an accomplished pianist completing her grade 10 Royal Conservatory accreditation, she played flute in the school band and in our local youth symphony and she competed and won awards for her Irish dancing. In her late teens she became a lifeguard and although she was never one of those rah, rah, loud and outgoing types,, she quietly made sure everyone was safe on her watch. Socially, she always had friends although she told me later in life, she never found “her people.,”

 

 When she left home the first time at 18, it was to attend the University of Victoria, where she received her BA in English and her B Ed. The second time I said goodbye, was when she decided to accept a teaching position in London. The summer before she left, she reread a beloved book, Mark Haddon’s book, “The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time.” It’s a story of a 15 year boy, Christopher, who is gifted with a superbly logical brain and processes everything analytically and without emotion.

 

 

The book is refreshing, as it’s written from Christopher’s unique perspective. The opening takes us right into the drama when Christopher discovers his neighbours dog is murdered next door. Underneath the investigation of this crime, is the fact that Christopher’s mother had also died when he was young. In his quest for answers to the dog’s killer and to discover more about his mother, he feels compelled to leave home,  a huge feat for one dealing with his autistic challenges and yet he finally takes a train to London to solve the mystery.

 

Tightly hugging Alyssa at the airport, as she was about to leave for London, I thought about how similar she was in many ways to Christopher. She was never overly emotional growing up. There was no high drama in the teen years, like a few of her diva like friends displayed. She was quiet and thoughtful, as if she was looking at the world from a distance. A gentle soul in many ways, and yet, here she was, going off on a great adventure to the other side of the world where she didn’t know a soul. She once told me, “Mom, I want to be the heroine in my own story.”

 

And now, two years later she had returned  after successfully teaching and living in London. She had finally met her people and realized she wasn’t the only quirky, introvert in the world, who loved fantasy and geeky, comic conventions. On her travels through most of Europe, exploring and photographing the historic places she had read about as a child, she had found her place in the world, but it had all taken a toll on her. 
Returning exhilarated but exhausted, her dad and I had encouraged her to take some time off; to write the novel that had been calling to her for years. She had dreamed of another world, full of characters and adventures of their own and we wanted to give her the space to finally tell that story. Our house was busy though, with 6 younger children still at home, it was never a quiet refuge for a writer. By Christmas time, she finally completed her 1st draft. As we rang in the New Year, I could feel a vibration of discord under the waves of our day to day family life and I knew it was just a matter of time before she left again..

 

 One Friday afternoon in late January she popped her head in my bedroom door and excitedly said, “Mom, I got an job offer in Victoria and they want me to start on Monday.”

 

Her red suitcases were packed, bedding was stuffed into Rubbermaid boxes and homemaking supplies were all piled at the door. Alyssa picked up and cuddled our Siamese cat, Ryuuki, rubbing her face in his soft fur, drinking in her love of cats, and then she indulged her younger brothers and sisters, who all scrambled around, hugging her waist one more time.
 
When her dad started to take boxes and suitcases out to the car, I swooped in and held her in my arms for a long time, inhaling the clean scent of her hair. Finally knowing eventually I had to let go, I moved away from her and looked into her clear blue eyes and quoted Christopher’s words from the book we both loved,
 ”And I know I can do this because I went to London on my own, and because I solved the mystery….and I was brave and I wrote a book and that means I can do anything.”

 

She nodded and smiled. Tears started to flood my eyes as I knew that was our final code for goodbye again. Before I knew it, she was settled into the front passenger seat of our compact, red Honda Fit and her Dad was heading up our steep driveway, taking her away.

 I was blowing kisses and waving madly. I raced to the back of our house, hoping to catch one last glimpse. The lake below our house was a still, grey mirror, reflecting the heavy laden clouds above. Suddenly, a shot of red flew down the road below our house and a waving hand could be seen from the window of the car. 

 

First day teaching at her new school back in Canada

 

 

“May it Be,” my sweet girl.

And to all those who venture away from home, may the light of the evening star shine upon you and guide you on your way….until you are called home once again.

Until we meet again, may you be well, happy and peaceful.

Blessings from Hope

 

 

 

 

Oatmeal Raisin Cookies~Whisper Powerful Words

/ Lee Reynolds

Lately, my blog is turning into a reflective parenting place, where I have been discussing raising children more than talking about what is going on in in the back 40. But you know, it’s that time of year….still really cold and snowy in our little valley.

Another cold snap hit our area and so, staying warm, and baking in the kitchen is how I spend much of my time

In a few weeks I will be starting to chat about starting seeds and I also want to share with you what it’s been like to have chickens this first winter, for now, I wanted to share thoughts on growing children.

As I’ve evolved as a parent, I now see that our own nuclear families are really a world inside of themselves. When I tell my children to be kind and loving to their brothers and sisters, what I’m really saying is to be loving and kind to everyone and so, how we raise our children, and what we tell them, affects the whole planet. As our older children move out and start their own lives, I see how impactful what our children believe, has on the whole world.

When we are in the midst of diapers and starting to lay the foundation for how our children think of themselves, I don’t know if we give much thought to the messages our children are hearing. Often, we are just so busy keeping everyone fed, in clean clothes and all the bills paid. Often, how our children come to think of themselves, is how WE treat ourselves, how we treat others and the everyday words we use as we maneuver through our own lives. Much of that time is spent in an unconscious state and we are not aware of the impact on our actions and words.

This morning I was inspired to write this post from a video I saw on my Facebook page. It was a video message from Chen Miller, who is a special needs educator living in Israel. She tells a story of coming into a classroom and seeing a little boy sitting in the middle of the room with big eyes. He was cursing, spitting and screaming. She came closer to him and whispered, “I know you have a big heart, I know that you are clever, I know that you are a good boy.”

This went on for a few weeks, him screaming and her whispering positive affirmations into his ear. He told her that he was “disturbed”. Everyone had said so; his parents, his teachers etc and yet, she continued to tell him, “I know you have a big heart, I know that you are clever and I know that you are a good boy.” Finally he settled down and accepted her as his teacher.

Near the end of the school year he asked her how she knew children were good. And that is when she shared her secret with him. That by the Fifth grade she could not write, that she did not understand numbers. She thought she was stupid and yet, here she was finally a teacher. Here she was now capable of changing the system, the same system that wanted to give up on her when she was a child. That is how she knew.

WOW!

This story had me thinking about how we raise our children and while I know, just telling our children some positive affirmations isn’t enough as each of our children comes into the world pre-loaded with their own personality and set of challenges, we can still plant seeds when they are tiny babies and continue to whisper those words throughout their childhood.

I used to sing while I changed my babies diapers or when I was bathing them. Silly little songs using their names to rhyme with words of how sweet they were, how smart and brilliant they were, how beautiful they were. How MUCH they were loved. As they grew, and they headed out into the world, I would remind them to “let their light shine.” That little song I learned in church when I was a child had stuck and so I would hold my finger up to my children which they knew was my code word for, “let your light shine.”

In an era of knowing labeling is dangerous, we as a society continue to do it. It’s all over social media, our advertisements on television and magazines, and sadly, most of all, it’s coming out of some of the world’s elected representatives, in our political states of office.

How can our children’s seeds grow strong and healthy, if they go out in the world and are bombarded by toxic chemicals of judgement. You know what I’m talking about. We in North America, register our children in all sorts of activities from such an early age, so they aren’t left behind, so they can get into the best schools, so they can achieve a high level of education and ultimately, have the best paying careers. We have their hair cut in cute styles and buy them fashionable clothing because we want them to be popular in school and accepted by their peers.

And even if you aren’t actually saying anything to your child, what do you think the message is that they are hearing? I know a few of mine have heard the message that they aren’t good enough. That they aren’t smart enough. That they aren’t pretty or hansom enough. It just breaks my heart….and yet there is always hope.

We as parents and teachers, as citizens of the world, are capable of altering the course of this earth by what we whisper into each other’s ears. As Chen Miller transformed that little boy with the big eyes, we too can transform the world.

I’d love to share the video with you now and after you watch it, I hope you can join me in the kitchen where I’m making some Spicy Oatmeal Raisin cookies. It you read my last blog post called, “The Empty Cookie Jar,” you will know in the end, I always keep the cookie jar full and even though I may be kind of a control freak, making sure my kids have warm footwear, etc I always try to encourage them to believe they are capable of anything and learn how to fill their own cookie jar.

Here’s Chen Miller’s video. (if you can’t see it below, click on the hyper link) I hope you enjoy it and it inspires you too to reaffirm with love, kindness and inspiration. Let’s all keep that cookie jar filled with light.

What a remarkable story and teacher hey?

And now, can you join me in the kitchen? I’ll make you a cup of  spicy chai tea and we can chat while I make some Oatmeal Raisin Cookies. Do you like raisins? If not, we can use alternatives…cranberries are great and a little bit of orange peel in the mix is a lovely combination with the spices.

Oh, what about dried apricots and pecans? Once you have a firm base, let your imagination be your guide to what you will fill your cookies with. PLAY around with it and maybe let’s call it our infinite possibility cookie recipe….kind of like us!!!

Spicy Oatmeal Raisin Cookies

Ingredients

1-1/2 cups of butter or margarine  (I like to use half butter and half margarine)
1 cup of white sugar
1 cup of brown sugar
3 eggs
2 tsp vanilla
3 cups of flour
3 cups of quick oatmeal
2 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt
2 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp nutmeg
1/2 tsp cloves
1/2 tsp ginger
1 cup of raisins
1/2 cup walnuts
(opt) grated orange peel

(Remember: the raisins, walnuts can easily be replaced with cranberries and almonds, or any kind of fruit….finely cut dried apricots and pecans would be delish too…use your imagination….’cause you are BRILLIANT!!!)

Directions

1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. 
2. In a large bowl, combine the butter and margarine until creamed. Gradually add the white and brown sugar until well combined.

 

 Add the eggs, one at a time, and then the vanilla. Mix until light and fluffy.
3. Sift together the flour, baking soda, salt and all the spices.
4. Slowly add the dry mixture to the butter mixture, beating until well combined.
5. Finally add the oatmeal, raisins and nuts…..or any combinations of add on you have chosen.

6. Scoop the dough, 1 large tablespoon, onto a cookie sheet about 2 inches apart.
7. Gently press them down with a fork
8. Bake in preheated oven for 10 to 12 minutes….I bake until just golden brown as I like my cookies chewy….the longer you bake…well, the crunchier they are going to be.

 Once done, allow the cookies to cool on the sheet for a few minutes, as this will allow them to set up nicely before you put them on your cooling racks. Once well cooled, fill up your jar.

Also, play around with the amount of flour/oats….my recipe is the perfect combination that we like as the cookies come out firm, but are chewy from the cookie jar…but play around with the dry ingredients until you get it to the texture you like.

Also, this makes a big batch…fills my jar and a freezer container or some to share with those who may need a winter affirmation of love and kindness.

Are you ready for a cup of tea and to try these cookies filled with endless possibilities?

And before I say goodbye today, here is a lovey affirmation to say to yourself. One of the most powerful lessons I have learned while raising my own children, is to connect with my inner child and heal those recorded messages that have directed and dictated most of my life. While raising my own children, I’ve been able to erase those false recordings and replaced them with two simple words that I say to myself everyday.

I am

 

Let your light shine!

Thank you for coming for a visit today.

Until we meet again, may you be well, happy and peaceful

Blessings from Hope

We Learned It All In Kindergarten

/ Lee Reynolds
Will contemplating life above the world

As I was helping Will get ready for kindergarten this morning, he was sharing a lot of his wisdom with me. He was telling me about what some of the kids in kindergarten believe regarding where they go after they die. When they have time to talk about such deep stuff in kindergarten, I don’t know. He seemed to have a good handle on their thoughts and ideas.

I asked him what he believed and he said, that was easy. After his earth body stops working, he will go back to be part of the Universe with all the stars and planets. He said he was looking forward to flying around the milk-way again. (I didn’t even know he knew about the milky-way!) As I was combing his curly hair at the time, he turned his face up towards me and gave me a brilliant smile. In that second, I knew it was simple and he understood it all.

Christmas day 2014…Will had three wishes for Christmas…the first was a telescope…maybe to go home for a bit each night

I was thinking…..”maybe I have all the answers too”

Later, this morning as I was catching up on my email and face book messages, I came across a you tube video by my Wild Divine group (an online meditation support group) based on Robert Fulghum’s poem called, “We learned it all in kindergarten.” I watched the video and was rather stunned at the coincidence of having this conversation with my little 5 year old and then watching and listening to this lovely message. Right away I wanted to share it with you.

I think the part I liked best about the video/poem were the words, “stick together and hold hands.” When I think about what I really want to do on my blog it is just that; make connections, inspire, and spread good messages like this one. We do have it all inside of us. It was there WAY before we came to earth but it is reinforced in many ways during our kindergarten year. Why we lose that wisdom I don’t know, except I think maybe we wouldn’t learn as much on this earth school if we lived our lives constantly remembering this simple message. (although the world would be a better place if we remembered)

Will summed it up casually as he was brushing his teeth. He was all foamed up and through his mouth full of toothpaste I heard it clearly, “it’s all about love Mom.” Yeah, right kiddo. Of course, it’s that simple.

And so as I have been talking all about minimalism lately, I thought this message was probably the MOST important thing to remember…to impart. It’s all about love. Love.

                               LOVE 

                 What a simple message!

Will grabbed his backpack and his coat and told me that it’s okay that his friends all have their own ideas and thoughts about what happens after they die. We all have our own beliefs and create our own reality, but what REALLY matters is being loving while we are here. 

As I drove my little wise man to kindergarten this morning I thought deeply about his words, his shining smile. I thought if these kinds of ideas were in our world leader’s thought process, we would be healing our planet and living in peace.

Then when I saw this video, I knew I had to pass it along, because if each of us remembers what we knew when we came to earth…or even what we learned in Kindergarten, we can change the world sticking together and holding hands.

~We are the ones, we have been waiting for~Alice Walker
                    

 

Here is the video that I just found by Wild Divine called, “Keep it Simple.”  
(Click on the hyper-link above if you can’t see the video below)

Based on the poem by Robert Fulghum called, “We learned it all in Kindergarten.”

I hope you like it and it inspires you to look inside today, maybe when you are eating your cookies this afternoon, before you take a nap.

Before Will came to earth I used to sit on this rock and meditate. Letting go and trusting that good things were flowing into my life. I had no idea that a wise teacher would be coming in the form of a little boy.

Until we meet again, may you be well, happy and peaceful.

Blessings from Hope 

Hummus~Growing Healthy Children

/ Lee Reynolds

Hi! Come on in and let’s talk about hummus and growing healthy children.

As you may know from reading my blog, I’m currently homeschooling but perhaps for not much longer since it looks like the Province and the Teachers may have struck a deal. Only a vote away will tell whether I’m a home-school mama much longer.

It’s been a lot of fun. Overwhelming at times managing different age groups and certainly challenging to stay a step ahead of everyone but rewarding to see the kids light up as they learn. I’ve decided to shift my perspective with regards to education. Yes, the teachers have our children for 6 to 61/2 hours everyday, but they are all mine after school and on the weekends. We can continue working on things  they have shown an interest in and continue our homeschooling in that fashion. So while the school bus may be coming next week, (Will is excited about that) I will look at the time they are gone as prep time for when they come home.

In the meantime, we have been working on all the major subjects with our older children but with the little ones, we have been practicing following a simple set of instructions and accomplishing small projects. Sitting still and keeping their hands on their own work is a journey unto itself but we are making progress. I try to have some baroque music on while they work, to stimulate their brains.

Of course we are doing lots of reading and sounding out words while remembering our sight words. We count all the time, from the moment they wake up from how many buckets it will take to rinse the shampoo out of their hair, to how many apple pieces are on the plate and calculating how many each child receives.

I found a great web site I wanted to share with my blog friends, who have young children and want to print off simple sheets for their little ones to colour, perhaps cut out and paste.There are also many activities and even a Whiz kid math program if you have older children. (This is a U.K. site…waving Hi to my oldest daughter Alyssa teaching in the U.K.)

Here is the cool web site, “Activity Village”     I have found and these are the sheets that I have printed off for the kids. Every day we do a new letter and when completed we put it their own individual books to look at throughout the day.

I found these under printable alphabet sheets….on the Activity Village web site

And while the kids are happily colouring, cutting out and pasting their pictures, I like to take a few moments and make one of our favourite snacks. Hummus.

A few of my friends have asked how we encourage our children to eat their vegetables since their children won’t touch anything in the veggie category. This is so simple that I don’t know why other parents haven’t figured it out. “We” are the ones who do the shopping and prepare the food. If the kids want to stay alive, and they do believe me, they will eat anything you put in front of them, EVENTUALLY!

    Having your children help you in the garden, growing food inspires them to try all sorts of vegetables.

There have been studies done on healthy eating showing children who have been given a wide range of vegetables from early age develop a desire to eat those same foods later into what would normally be their picky years. Plus, here is another benefit; they achieve higher IQ’s.

Now I have to tell you we have had our fair share of picky eaters out of our 8 children. It was frustrating at times but we just kept offering them healthy choices and encouraged them to try a little bit of everything. Sure, there was a time when they resisted foods that mixed together, like soups and casseroles but those same (older children) are food cultured now.

So be persistent and positive with your little ones and I hope you try my hummus recipe

.Here’s what you need to make hummus.

Do you have chick peas, garlic, olive oil, tahini and lemon juice?..you have the makings for hummus

Hope’s Hummus recipe

1- 19 ounce chick peas drained and rinsed
2 tbsp tahini
1 or 2 garlic cloves….I prefer my hummus really garlicky
2 tbsp of virgin olive oil….maybe more if you like your hummus really smooth
4 tbsp of fresh lemon juice

Now, for the easy peasy instructions. Into your food processor, put your chick peas, tahini, garlic and lemon juice and mix it really well, then slowly add your olive oil until the hummus is the texture you desire.

Well that’s it…now decide what you want to eat your hummus with. Today I cut up some vegetables and served them for snack time. My oldest daughter likes to put her hummus on a piece of celery and put a line of raisins in a row…yes she is 24 but some of us never truly grow up.

The old ants on a log is great with hummus

The cool thing about making it today is I have some hummus for the twins preschool snack tomorrow
.BONUS!

 

Come and get it!

 

Dig in girls

 

Will has loved hummus since he was a toddler

And on the topic of growing healthy children, if our children are going to watch T.V. or videos, I like the message they are receiving to continue with the theme we are trying to teach at home. Like the following as it just emphasizes my thoughts about junk food.

My kids are obsessed with The Berenstain Bears books and videos lately. Check out this one below however note if you are using an Apple product, you may not be able to view it…check out the link below.
 
D and I have been reading these books and watching Berenstain Bear videos with our little ones for over 20 years now. They never get old
I hope you enjoy the hummus recipe. A great source of protein and lovely as a snack with veggies.  And as far as growing healthy children, whether we have them ourselves or not, we can all contribute to raising the next generation of healthy children.  I believe that statement Hilary Clinton made about it taking a village to raise children.
It does.
I’m glad my village is close to getting our kids back into the classrooms.
Until we meet again, may you be well, happy and peaceful.
Blessings from Hope

Homeschooling Adventure

/ Lee Reynolds

What is that saying? Watch what you wish for, or it just might come true.

Well my wish has come true. Yes, I have been wishing for a farm for a few years now. I want space where we can grow enough food for our family to be sustainable. Land for animals to roam and enjoy life. Real farm animals that can provide things like eggs, milk, cheese. I have even day dreamed of homeschooling our children and wondered how they would develop if we allowed their innate curiosity and inquisitive minds to take the lead in their learning.

Our Siamese cat, Ryuki thinks, “he’s animal enough!”

It looks like my second wish is coming true and I’m currently homeschooling our young ‘uns. I hadn’t quite pictured how this would unfold or even come about. It wasn’t like this was my BIG wish either. But still, I had sent it out into the Universe and here it is. This is the cool part about putting your wish out there…wherever “there” is. Once you send it out, the vibration of that dream is picked up but you have NO CONTROL over when it comes to pass, or how it will transpire.

Case in point, I had no idea that the teachers would go on an extended strike with the Province in order for my wish to come true this September.WOW!

But no matter how things manifest, my dream has come true. I’m a homeschooling mama! Albeit without the farm, without the cool farm animals. (Although Ryuki, our Siamese cat…picture above would say, he is animal enough!) I know it’s coming. If you don’t know me by now, here is my daily mantra….”trust and let go.”

So yeah! We are on day 2 of our homeschooling foray and I’m EXHAUSTED!

I have to start reading some homeschooling blogs to figure how in the heck they do it. This is the hardest thing I have ever done. It’s right up there with keeping our newborn twins alive in the first year of their life, while taking care of the 6 older ones, without any outside help.

After that I thought I could do anything. And while yes, I am a warrior, this homeschooling gig has it’s limits. I’m on day 2 and like my daughter said this morning when she woke up, “do we have to still do this?”

First of all, just getting up at 7 am, after having had a summer of sleeping a bit later (like 8 am with our three little ones) has been really hard. Of course it doesn’t help that I often stay up into the wee hours to read or write. But, gesh a mama has to have a life. Getting up an hour earlier is a killer. Do you think regular homeschoolers sleep in?

Then the other issue is, while I’m homeschooling, I’m not attending to any of my chores, like working in the garden, cleaning the house, doing my laundry, AND my little work crew are not assisting with any jobs either. Thank heavens, it’s rained off and on the last two days so I haven’t been stressed about watering the garden, harvesting or collecting seeds.

 

Dill seed is just one of the herbs I want to save

While the rain and cooler weather has been a good thing in that the kids feel like fall is coming and returning to structured learning is part of the package, I cringe to think of the weather changing back to a warmer trend since they will probably want to have friends over to our swimming hole.

Anyway, that is my rant of the day and right now I’m not too thrilled with our Provincial government because they just don’t get how tough teaching our kids is. One of the big issues on the table is class size and classroom support because in any given class there can be a 1/3 of the students that have various learning challenges.

 

Grace working on a math worksheet but she also likes the IXL web site for math

 

Practicing flute and piano

 

Grace looking up flute music on the computer..which makes homeschooling so easy

 

Harrison plays drums, ukelele and violin…I know a weird combination right?

After spending two days with my crew, who are all like little sponges and as far as I know not even dyslexic, this is a huge task. So right now, I’m on the side of the teachers but if they stay out for much longer, yeah, yawn!, I may be swayed to side with the government.

The biggest part of homeschooling is keeping the little ones busy and occupied.

 

What I love about homeschooling though is you can drop everything and just paint.

 

 

I like the level one readers as they learn their sight words easily
Also, the Leap Pad  Explorer has been a great tool for introducing math and reading to young ones
Another side benefit to homeschooling is all the great bonding that happens

Enough said about all that, you know what I’m doing, so if I’m not writing regularly, it’s ’cause I’m SPENT at the end of the day, when I normally have some time/energy to hit the keyboard.

What I REALLY wanted to talk about was my initial title, “Watch what you Wish For,” and all that THAT, entails.

If you have read much of my blog, or know me in person, you will know that I fell in love with a piece of property that is about 30 minutes from our current homestead. The house was absolutely PERFECT for us. A large Cape Cod style home with bedrooms for everyone, or space to renovate to create that. The interior was decorated in my favourite colours and the flow of the house was well suited for our family and their various ages and genders.

The property was perfect too. Almost 18 acres, some in pasture, some in woods, some garden space. They even had the kind of chickens that I wanted already living in the back yard! The thing that resonated with my heart was the fact that this was an established Christmas tree farm. An environmentally friendly farm at that. Could it get any better than that!

Now if you don’t already know me, I have to tell you that Christmas is MY fav season. I love Christmas trees most of all. We have four Christmas trees in our house every holiday season. We have one in our Hobbit’s Hollow play room/media room, (sometime soon I’m going to tell you about our Hobbit’s Hollow and creating unusual space) then two fancier ones on the main floor. The kids even have one, in the hall, outside of their bedrooms.

The first time we toured the farm, I walked amongst the trees, stretched my arms to touch their branches and smelled the forest filled scent, I knew I had found my new home. For some strange reason I thought the house would just wait for us, until we could prepare our house for sale, list it and then sell it. Well it had been on the market almost a year when we first toured it and it was not cheap so we thought it may not move as fast and my husband thought also they may be more motivated to sell once we finally made an offer. Everything seemed right about it and things for the longest time seemed to be falling into place for us to move in that direction.

The week, we were going to list our house, was a week full of trials and tribulations. Something always seemed to be going wrong. Our older children were extra needy with their commitments to their various summer jobs, the fitness gym and their social life. So while we drove them around to fulfill their commitments and desires, it just made it harder to complete that last bit of painting, repairs, final de-cluttering projects etc. around our house. Also, D,  my hard working husband, found out he had to go out of town for a few days which added more stress to the whole mix. I felt like I was doing it all but hey, it was my dream to sell and move
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On top of all that, our neighbour, who has lived across the street from us for 17 years, and has never asked us to help her with anything, came over and asked if we could care for her plants and yard while she was gone for a week. I just smiled and said yes but gesh, could the Universe throw anything more our way. I was having enough problems keeping my yard looking great during our heat wave and now I had her yard to care for as well. Yikes!

As it turned out, her outside potted plants were all over the place and in little pots which meant they dried out really fast in our Okanagan heat. Also, although she had an “automatic” sprinkler system, the automatic part was that you had to turn on and off the zones manually. It was taking an hour and a half every day to water her plants and yard. More than I could afford, but what could I do?

On top of all that, several of our children didn’t want to move at all and were putting up protests as the listing date got closer and closer. Almost daily, I would hear a complaints from each one but at different times asking, why do we have to do this.  Then I would have to stop and address their individual concerns, explaining my case for moving and how it would benefit our whole family.  It’s tough to convince kids, who have lived in the same house their whole life, that moving away from neighbourhood friends is a good thing. I felt like I was hitting a wall each day during that time.

As the week progressed, I was becoming more stressed. I wasn’t eating properly, I was hardly drinking water as I ran around taking care of our neighbours yard and our own. (I won’t get into my kidney stone condition too much here but suffice it to say that drinking water is crucial or I end up in the emergency room) On top of that I was just trying to keep our house clean, let alone get it staged for the listing agent’s arrival. (have you ever tried to stage a house with 8 kids?)

My gut was telling me that something wasn’t right. When there is so much tension, so much stress, nothing good can ever come in that state. It isn’t the state of allowing. So when our real estate agent came to list our house, he forewarned us that there were negotiations underway on our farm as we spoke and although there was no offer accepted, there was an interested party.

We wouldn’t know for a week though as that was the closing date for the offer on the table. We decided not to list our house though until we knew for sure whether the farm was still available. After all there was nothing else that we were remotely interested in that would house our large family and meet my farm dreams. We waited.

Everywhere I went that week I found feathers. Will even found a few for me and since he too believes they are messages from our angels, he would get really excited when he found one and say, “look mommy, let’s make a wish.” I had pockets full of feathers that week. Now I have to share a back story on the feather thing. Several years ago, when I was trying to conceive and hitting walls, I read a book about connecting with angels.  In that book it mentioned one of the ways  angels tell us they are near is by sending us feathers. So whenever I see feathers now, I know I’m not alone. As I pick up the feather, the first thing that pops into my head, is their message to me, then I whisper “thank you.”

Have you been finding feathers?

(I thought I would share the above Youtube video on finding feathers… I’m an angel believer. If you are an Apple user, you may not be able to view the video so I hope this link will help you, click on,“Finding Feathers, signs from your angels”)

That week, I found an inordinately large amounts of feathers. They were everywhere! What I heard from my intuition/heart/soul/gut, from my “my angels”… was it was going to be okay but that my farm was not going to be mine after all. Sure enough, a week later our real estate agent called to say, after a year and half on the market, our farm finally received an offer and it was accepted. It would not be mine. Interestingly enough, it sold for the amount that we were thinking we would be willing to pay for it.

Anyway, the story doesn’t end there, oh no, sorry, you know me and novellas. When our neighbour returned from her week away, she brought over this big bag. I was at a loss as to what she had wrapped up as it was large and heavy. As I opened the top of the bag and looked inside, I could not believe my eyes.

Inside was a beautiful blue spruce tree in a glossy red ceramic pot. A Christmas colour for sure. When I told our neighbour all about losing the Christmas tree farm and how receiving this tree was like a sign not to give up “hope,”  she was rather amazed, since as she was thinking of what to give us as a thank you, a tree popped into her mind and seemed to be the perfect gift. It made me cry because my farm was gone and I had no place to plant it but the tears flowed also because someone was listening to my wishes and wanting to send me comfort. Just knowing “that” was EVERYTHING.

This is the blue spruce gift our neighbour gave us.

The meaning of the blue spruce tree is, Trust God

About a week later, we hosted a “long in coming” family re-union at our house with my three older sisters and most of their families. My sister C heard how sad I was about losing the farm but also of how our neighbour had given us such a beautiful gift. She told me that trees all have their own meanings. I had no idea. She said when she was in Scotland, she purchased a tree for each of her sons which were planted in an environmentally enhanced farm that provides a space for people who want to plant meaningful trees, who don’t have the space. Also, now her sons have trees planted just for them in Scotland. She chose trees with unique meanings for each of her boys.

The next day I looked up, “Blue Spruce” and found that it means, “TRUST GOD.”

Wow! It gives me shivers just thinking of it now because that was another message along with my feathers. To not give up hope and to trust God.

Yeah, I didn’t get my Christmas tree farm but I am homeschooling my children right now and I know the farm is coming. I just don’t know what it’s going to look like or how it’s going to come to us. Have you ever felt that anticipating something is even more fun than finally getting it? That is how I’m choosing to look at my big WISH now. I know it’s coming but while I’m waiting, I’m going to be grateful for what I have been given, (oh so very much!) and be joyful in the moment. Life is so good!

And that reminds me of a quote that I love:

“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.”
― Eleanor Roosevelt

The only thing I’m thinking now and maybe the Provincial government and the teachers have not factored this into their extended dispute, is that some people like me, who were on the fence with regards to homeschooling, may now have the opportunity to try it out and grow to love it.

Day three awaits.

I think we are all going to sleep in tomorrow!

Until I see you again, may you be well, happy and peaceful.

Blessings from Hope

 

Play Dough~Preparing Children for School

/ Lee Reynolds

One of my fav songs….Teach Your Children by Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young

(If you can’t view this video above, check out this link to the song, “Teach Your Children, by Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young”)

One of my web board friends just wrote a post on our parenting support board regarding how scared she was as her twins were about to enter kindergarten, especially her son. Now I understand her concern as her children were born very prematurely and had they been born when they were full term, heading off to kindergarten wouldn’t even be an option right now. But, I think even if your child was born full term,  moms still worry about how their children will do in school.

We spent most of the summer trying to avoid thinking about school….or at least I did.

Will and Kate having fun in our homestead’s swimming hole

I absolutely cannot believe our oldest is now in the U.K. about to start her teaching career and our second child, Clark is on the homestretch of completing his Science degree.  Then there is  our third child, Mitchell about to embark on his University experience. (me holding back the tears!) Buying him school supplies yesterday was bittersweet. Well those all seems unreal enough to me, but to think that my sweet William begins kindergarten next week. When did he grow up?

Surreal!

It feels like just yesterday I was carrying him around in a sling for his first summer on earth. Kissing his soft, sweet head and drinking in his baby smell. Next week this time we will be setting out his clothes for his first day of school. (if the teacher’s strike is settled that is)

So I thought this would be a good time to write about the things we have been doing to prepare him for kindergarten. I have an unusual situation in that I have raised a whole generation of children and have a pretty good idea of what has worked and what didn’t. Of course, times have really changed with all the present tools we parents have access to and how electronically plugged in our society is….good or bad….but if you have young child and haven’t a clue how to prepare them for school, or even go about teaching your child to read, these tips may help you. Or they will reaffirm what you are already doing with your young one. Or it may heighten your thinking and you choose an alternative path that feels right for you and your child.

Now there were differing opinions on our parenting board as to how prepared a child has to be and what is really expected in the kindergarten setting because expectations are different in each school district and country. As well as what parent’s expectations are for each individual child. My nephew for instance taught English in Japan to children who are constantly, I mean 24/7 on a structured educational path and he came away from that experience feeling like they were lacking some balance. (each family and community has to find what works for them) No matter where we live though and what the school system looks like, I think we parents would all agree, we want the best for our children. The “BEST” being defined differently for each of us.

We have enrolled all of our older children in preschool and I think this was an excellent way for them to learn social skills, like taking turns, sharing toys and asking for help. They needed to learn to sit and listen and follow instructions and be considerate of others and their space. I have written a post about “how full is your bucket” which deals with socially acceptable behavior but also teaching how to balance your needs so you can bring your best self to all situations.

I found that my boys only ever wanted to play at preschool though. None of them were really into painting, playing with play dough, colouring, cutting and gluing. They just wanted to play with their friends and the blocks, trucks, and the constantly rotating toys our preschool would provide. One of our sons lamented one day that they “forced” him to do a craft which I later learned was needed because they had to each have a finger puppets to participate in the story time. I think that was the only thing I ever brought home for his childhood keepsake box when he was in preschool. Suffice it to say that he has the messiest writing to this day and would have benefited from a little craft and play dough time.

I try to teach a lot of the fine motor skills at home. I make homemade play dough to build up their finger and hand muscles. Recipe is below. I also try to bring out the paints several times a week and  do something different all the time. Finger paint, cut imprints out of potatoes, or use different things to paint with…of course the old fashion brush is great too. In my kitchen, where keep my recipe books, I have a few shelves that I keep paper, colouring books, felt pens, crayons, glue sticks and scissors, so the little ones can help themselves and quietly draw or colour whenever they desire. I have turned a nearby closet in our kitchen into a craft cupboard as well which makes it handy to pull out anything for our daily activity, I keep puzzles and games in there as well.

What I have been doing the last 2 years to assist Will with kindergarten readiness is have him work on his ABC’s and numbers on almost a daily basis. With our older children I would buy age related work books and have them do a few pages every day but Will prefers the ones that I have made for him.

Will’s Kindergarten Readiness books and sight words that he has learned while reading

It started by just teaching him to spell his name and repetition was the key. Then we progressed to have him work on writing his upper case A’s and lower case a’s and each day we would do a new letter. I also write a Big A, and a small a, on a piece of white paper and have him colour it in and then cut it out. Then he pastes it on a piece of coloured construction paper. I then Google a bunch of pictures that start with the letter A and print them off and have him cut them out, paste them on the sheet and then we sound out the words and he writes the names under the picture.

At first he had to piggy back with me as he learned to write the letters. Once you learn one letter though it helps with others. For instance, he learned to write a C relatively easy but doing an e was harder….I taught him to write the middle line and then write a C and he got it quickly. He now has a full book of letters and pictures that he made himself and he likes to sit with his sisters and look at his homemade book.

He knows how to write all his letters now and he can say the sounds phonetically. Almost daily, while his little sisters nap, he practises writing out all his letters and his numbers too. We have used a wide range of tools to teach him his ABC;s and his numbers since he was very small and he is now what our school would call an emerging reader. He can read books with simple sentences on each page. What is really great is his little sisters, who are only 3, are also starting to read and often say the word before he has phonetically sounded it out by just looking at the clues, listening to the story, looking at the pictures and seeing the first letter in the word we are trying to say. IT’S AMAZING.

I found the children responded really well to two Leapfrog videos, in particular, Phonics Farms and Numberland. The little girls like another one called, The Letter Factory which is on You tube…..here is a clip to a few other videos that are also great…….

 

When Will was 31/2 we bought him a Leap pad Explorer and he loves it and takes it wherever he goes when he knows he will have to wait awhile, like his brother’s ortho appt for instance. This has been a wonderful tool and between the games, the videos, reading every day to him and working on his letters and numbers, he is taking off and I hope ready for kindergarten. I do worry about the social aspect but isn’t that what kindergarten is all about.

Reminds me of when my oldest was in ballet when she was just 4 and she was so frustrated because she couldn’t skip, She wanted to quit. I told her that if she could skip etc, she wouldn’t need to take ballet. It’s a process and teaching them to “be” gentle on themselves as they are learning anything, is part of a greater life skill. Anyway, check out You tube’s many leapfrog videos for your preschoolers and I’m sure they will love it like my kids  do.

There are lots of great web sites out there to teach school readiness skills. I have our older children practise math on a web site called, IXL.com but it is amazing how vast the choices are to teach children ANYTHING nowadays. When our oldest was in early elementary we enrolled her in Kumon to hone her basic math skills. We paid something like $70.00 a month for the little worksheets and a weekly review but I was the one doing all the marking. There are so many tools to teach whatever your children need help with now and in most cases they are free. Last summer, I had my then 14 year old Harrison, work consistently on his french on a great web site ( french is our countries second language) all summer and he did extremely well in grade 9 french. A big improvement from grade 8! It’s all about where you put your attention. This summer he has been working on playing his drums, shooting hoops and I have asked him to read a novel a week. I’m sure he is going to be the number 1 drummer in band, excel on the basketball team and continue to do well in English.

For Will though, I just want him to feel comfortable in kindergarten which is a big step up from three part days at preschool to 5 full days a week at the big kid school. We will keep working on his reading and writing and his math skills. Today I brought out coloured Popsicle sticks and had him make various patterns. He even got creative and started making squares of Popsicle sticks using patterns. All that time playing Lego with his older brother this summer has inspired him.

Mitchell and Will building with Lego

Children and how they learn fascinates me. I do believe  allowing our children to just play is the most effective way to learn. Just give your children something….a box of scarves, or a bowl of noodles, some paint and glue and watch them play.  It inspires me to remember to incorporate that into my life each day. There has to be a balance. While we want our children to be “successful,” (whatever that means to you) I personally want them to have a happy childhood. Then they won’t spend their whole adult life wondering who they are and whether they are good enough.

Here’s the recipe for homemade play dough that my family makes regularly. Even the big kids like to play with it. Having little people in the house allows us to still be kids. I think Mitchell enjoyed helping Will build his Lego city this summer.  Our oldest son Clark, who works at the Science Centre while going to University, likes to bring home “flubber,” dry ice, and helium balloons and watch his younger siblings marvel over the simplest things.

Maybe that is the key in helping our children get ready for the world of school..

Here’s the play dough recipe.

We double it for our gang,

Hope’s Homestead Play Dough

1 cup flour
1 cup water
1 tsp. oil….we use a vegetable oil
1 tsp cream of tartar
1/2 cup salt
2 tsp. essential oil…we like lavender

Mix all dry ingredients. Add oil and water and cook over medium heat, stirring constantly until it looks like mashed potatoes. Remove from heat and add the essential oil and colouring. Divide into balls and work in the colour by kneading.

Enjoy….In joy the process of your little one……

Until I see you again, may you be well, happy and peaceful.

Blessings from Hope

How Full is Your Bucket?

/ Lee Reynolds

 

When our now 5 year old son, Will started preschool 2 years ago, I thought there may be some serious adjustment issues because on day one, when he was introduced to his new teacher he immediately gave her a huge hug. I thought it was loving and kind and watched with joy but I soon learned such physical demonstration were not appropriate.

You see, I had never experienced any of  our children being so openly friendly before. When they met people for the first time I was concerned whether they would even make eye contact, let alone extend their hand in greeting. So Will’s physical exuberance and outgoing personality delighted his father and I. We felt we had finally hit on the right way to raise our children and Will was exuding the trust and love he had received in our care.

Not that we hadn’t nurtured his older siblings but before I was even pregnant with him I felt a connection to this joy filled soul and once I finally got pregnant, I was in a state of bliss. I would breathe deeply into my womb and send light filled energy to our baby. The moment he was born we felt like he illuminated this light. The feeling of extreme gratitude and appreciation for Will continued for the first three years of his life. The sun kind of rose and set on him if you will.

When you live in a family where everyone is delighted with you, the boundaries may not be very clear regarding behavior issues.  After all, there was nothing he did for the first 3 years that needed correcting to any degree. His twin sisters were still babies when he started preschool so there was no competition for toys at home, there was no jealousy whatsoever, in fact he treasured his baby sisters and was very protective of them.

Also, I was trying to raise our new son with his innate spirit intact for as long as I could without introducing any fear or negativity. I don’t think this is the normal rearing techniques for the average child in this day and age, so of course I should not have been surprised to find the preschool situation  creating a host of learning experiences for our son.

As the preschool year progressed, Will’s teachers were constantly telling me of situations where Will’s behavior had to be corrected. I felt they were being overly concerned over minor issues because while yes, he needed some guidance with regards to asking nicely to share an item etc., he was extremely caring, demonstrating this towards a little boy who had serious learning challenges. Even though my gut said he was exceptional, I knew we needed to prepare him for kindergarten by setting firm boundaries in an atmosphere where our son could retain his wonderful spirit.

Now I must add, that many of his peers were probably more on the introverted side. They were quiet, cautious and wary of strangers, typical behavior for a 3 year old.  Some were still working on their verbal skills, so Will’s physical presence  and outgoing nature seemed to be magnified next to them. Other than reminding him of people’s space and for him to use his words instead of using his body to communicate, we were at a loss as to how to best teach the required social skills.

It also occurred to both his teachers and I that the more he was reprimanded on his behavior, both at school and at home, the worse it became. As he was preparing for his second year of preschool I was seriously thinking of homeschooling him since there weren’t a lot of other preschool options in our small town and our current one was having issues with his behavior state.  This was one of the best preschools in town and our other children had attended with great success so with reluctance Will started his 2nd year. I hoped that now that he was four, we would find some improvement. Although he was making progress, there were still days when I would pick him up and his teacher would relate several incidents. I could feel him shrinking in front of me when a situation was discussed.

To avoid him feeling like something was wrong with him, before settling him down for his quiet time in the afternoons and at bedtime, I would hold him close and whisper, what a beautiful soul he was and how brightly his light shined. He had come to earth exactly at the right time as he was teaching us all to be kind, loving and happy. He would nod and say, “yes mommy, I really shine with love.”

 

 

This is a sculpture that my mother gave me that sits outside our master bedroom on our lower deck.

Finally one day his teacher lent me a book called, “How Full is Your Bucket,” by Tom Rath and Mary Reckmeyer. I knew as soon as I read it that the concept might work for Will. Will too liked the idea of carrying an invisible bucket on his head. I found an ice cream bucket and took it to school the next day and asked  the teacher to read the story to the class and whenever Will did something that filled a friend’s bucket by saying something kind or sharing nicely, or “asking” if they wanted a hug, he would get a little tear shaped piece of paper with the good deed written on it and it would be placed in “his” bucket.

The more Will’s bucket filled, the fewer and fewer incidence of inappropriate social behavior occurred. In fact as the year ended, Will became a leader in proper social skills and his teacher gave him a little silver bucket to remind him how wonderfully successful he had been and how far he had come.

 

Will’s little silver bucket ‘

Whenever I see the little bucket it reminds me that when I’m irritated or impatient with my children (and that is daily with 8 kids I can tell you!) it usually is because my bucket is empty. Caring for my children lovingly, saying a nice thing to a friend  or giving my husband a hug at the end of the day, all are ways that I can refill my bucket and my well “being.”

 

Our beautiful Will at preschool grad

Since summer is ending soon and school will start, (we hope, since in B.C. our teachers went on strike at the end of the year so time will tell if school starts back in 2 weeks) I thought this was a good time to share the bucket story if you haven’t already heard about it.

And this is a good time as well to say “thank you” for reading my blog posts. Today my blog hit over a thousand views which is amazing. I thought maybe only a few would ever check it out. When my kids heard me shout with happiness after checking my blog stats today they said, “let’s make a cake to celebrate.” Ha, guess who made the cake? I wish you could all join me by having a piece tonight…. but at the very least, I just wanted to make sure you know how grateful I am for you, my readers. Thank you!

I hope you enjoy the following video…..and your bucket is over flowing.

video here

Until I see you again,

May your bucket be full, and you be well, happy and peaceful.

Blessings from Hope