Family Life

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Tall, Dark, and Handsome

/ admin

Until recently I’ve been in a deep funk. This Covid 19 pandemic is dragging on, and on, with no end in sight. This past summer we experienced another depressing season of wildfires and choking smoke, reminding me that our planet is crying in crisis. I’ve been reflecting on whether global warming can even be reversed at this stage and it weighs heavy on my chest, like a  hopeless stone. 

Little things have been happening though, like small electric shock treatments clearing the dark fog from my brain. Another of those happened this past weekend. It was supposedly a Thanksgiving weekend in Canada. I have to say that I can’t feel very thankful however for how our country has and continues to treat our indigenous people. Instead of celebrating Thanksgiving this year, we chose to welcome fall into our midst. We also celebrated my husband David’s birthday.

This year his birthday fell on Saturday, October 9th, 2021. While he and our our oldest daughter Alyssa, and our three younger kids. Will, Kate and Victoria went for a long walk through our nearby Kalamalka Provincial Park, I stayed home making a four layer, chocolate cake which I call, “Tall, Dark, and Handsome.” 

For two hours, I was home with just our Siamese cat Ryuuki, who was curled up, sleeping on the window seat in our kitchen. Other than the whirring noise from our mixer, our house was still and quiet. In the silence, it occurred to me that I’m seldom alone these days. David started working from home two years ago, when he and his partner bought their engineering company. Every day I hear him in our den participating in Zoom meetings and looking intently at the drawings on his computer. He has jobs all over B.C, Alberta, Saskatchewan and they even have a job down in Alabama. The project manager working down there calls it,”the Red Neck Riviera.” Long before vaccines were being rolled out here in Canada, they were readily available at any pharmacy down there but the majority of the population refused to be vaccinated. They claimed there was a government conspiracy to control the south and tracking devices were in the vaccine. David always comes out of his office at the end of the day full of interesting stories, even though he never leaves the house. 

Anyway, as I was icing Tall, Dark and Handsome, I  wondered if the lack of alone time was perhaps the cause of my slow funk into oblivion. I’m one of those people who likes their own company and I tend to be an introverted person, so perhaps this was the reason for my current mental state. Or it could be that everyone but me has a useful purpose. David heads into the den each morning and is our main breadwinner. Our older daughter Grace is enrolled in University and even though she is largely taking those classes from her bedroom, she has a life. Our younger children, Will, Kate and Tori are now back to school and are busy members of the Kokanee swim club. Also, they have their respective music lessons and instruments to practice. I have the endless task of doing laundry, and other chores like icing this cake. With this thought, I finished the cake, topping it with luscious, maraschino cherries and sparkly white sprinkles. 

While wrapping David’s birthday gifts, I started to relax into the quiet, breathing in the peace of our home. Once  all the presents were wrapped, I whipped through the house straightening things and when everything was done, I sat next to Yuuki on the window seat, sipping some peppermint tea and stroking his soft fur. Someone was wind surfing on Kal Lake below our house, and the colourful sails flew across the white caps without a care in the world. Just as I was wondering whether David and the kids were ever going to come home, I heard the rolling hum of our garage door opener. Moments later, noisy,  rosy, red cheeked children spilled into the kitchen. My tall husband, his brown hair messy from the wind, smiled at me. He poured a cup of coffee and the kids oohed and awed over the cake sitting on the counter. As they pulled out the hot chocolate and boiled some water, they talked over each other, telling me about all the sights and sounds from their walk. Each had their own story to tell. 

A little piece of gratitude flashed into my heart and I gave thanks for the perspective of quiet, and the joy of happy noise. Of course, the sight of Tall, Dark and Handsome didn’t hurt either…and I’m not talking about cake! 

My tall, dark and handsome husband…David. (On his birthday October 9th 2021, Kal Park
Our oldest daughter Alyssa, out for a birthday walk at Kal Park

Will above, being silly. Our little tree huggers, Kate and Tori, below.

Tall, Dark and Handsome is just a double batch of my Rich Chocolate Cake recipe. If you want to make it, check out the previous hyperlink for the recipe…I often make it for Valentine’s day. If you are feeding a crowd this recipe with four layers will do it and then some.

Happy Fall….and Happy Birthday David!

Until we meet again, may you be well, happy and peaceful.

Blessings from Hope

What is Family?

/ Lee Reynolds

 

The problem with the world is that we draw our family circle too small. ~ Mother Teresa~

 

On Monday, Aug 31st, we got up early to say goodbye to our son Mitchell….off to University in Victoria

 

Who are your people? Wars and terrible atrocities have shadowed the world since the beginning of time and currently, we are still living with this question unanswered. It’s not surprising however since, we have been conditioned from an early age to stay close and loyal to our tribe. No matter where there is a child in the world, there is a parent chiding, “stay close, for there is danger out there.”

We grow up being fearful of anyone different from us. We grow up believing that only those like us are the right people. We are wary and skeptical that anyone, other than our immediate family are good people, worthy of our intimacy. If you have read any of my blog post, you know I’m a huge believer in the power of attraction. This Universal law brings us exactly what we are expecting. Unless, you shout down fear and embrace the idea that we are all connected, you will attract what you are putting out there. Let’s join together and sing, “we are all family.”

Over the last few days, several really sad events came to my attention. On Tuesday night, while checking my Facebook, I read that Dr. Wayne Dyer passed away on August 29th. The news hit me really hard. Although I didn’t know Wayne Dyer personally, nor did I even have the pleasure of hearing him speak in person, I felt like he was always personally coaching me over the last 10 years.

While trying to conceive, what I thought would be our last baby, (and ended up being our last 3 children….talk about dreams REALLY coming true) I read many of his books. “The Power of Intention,” was one of my favourites. I felt empowered knowing that whatever I focused on in life would manifest. If I didn’t have my nose in one of his books, I was listening to his audio collections, while driving the older children around to their after school activities. My husband D, even took Wayne’s audio collection on many work related road trips and would come back with little, inspiring catch phrases that Wayne would use. One of his favourites is,…….

It was while listening to Wayne that I knew, if I held onto my vision of growing our family, it would manifest. I didn’t know how, or when, or even what it would look like. I held onto the belief that when we are in a state of allowing, when our heart is open and trusting, what we desire most in the world will come to be. Sometimes it comes with even more than we ever imagined.

In my quest to complete our family, I looked into adoption and even fostering and it was then I turned another corner on my road. A child from my heart, I realized, was just as much mine as a child from my body. I had no idea on my journey to completing our family that I would embrace the idea that every child was mine.

I started looking at my children’s friends when they came to visit, differently. As though they were one of ours. When I would help out at our children’s school or preschool, (as Grace was still tiny then) I felt an encompassing love for all the children I engaged with. I even thought for awhile, maybe this was what my trying to conceive journey was creating……the realization that we don’t have to bring our children onto the earth, but they are already here for us to care for. Things flowed quickly once I opened up to these ideas and William, his sisters, Kathryn and Victoria, quickly followed. (A memoir has to be written about their coming to earth, for the lessons learned along that path were profound)

The point is, the world suddenly got very small for me and my love for all grew immensely. I also felt worthy to be here. For once in my life, I felt like I too was an important part of the world family and I wanted to inspire others to open their eyes, open their hearts to this reality.

And so having to say goodbye to Dr. Wayne Dyer, was a bit like saying goodbye to part of my family. An uncle, or older brother perhaps. His illuminated way of looking at life will be missed. What makes it bearable though, is another idea he helped to reinforce, and that is we all come from Source energy and return to Source once our body stops working. A place of love. May you rest in peace Wayne.

Then last night on the CBC “National” news there was yet another story of the Syrian refugees trying to escape from terrorism. This time, drowned victims had washed up on a Turkish beach. Suddenly, the camera showed a tiny boy’s body, wearing a little red t-shirt, laying face down in the water. “Oh NO!” I moaned. For some reason that scene was just too much for me and pain hit my gut. As the news story showed the little boy being picked up and being carried away, I watched in horror as the person, carrying him was holding him at a distance and I  called out while watching the scene, “oh, hold the baby close.”

I went to bed last night not knowing the full story, but knowing somewhere in the world there were people in great distress and grief. I was feeling it.

Tonight on the news it turned out that I wasn’t the only one horrified to see that tiny boy’s body laying so still. People all over Canada (the world) reacted strongly to that news story. Maybe, oh my gosh, I hope, the world will realize that we need to become united. That baby was everyone’s baby. Tonight on the news we heard more about the 3 year old boy, Alan Kurdi, who lost his life, along with his 5 year old brother and their mom, trying to find a peaceful country to live. His Dad survived but has horrible memories of having to say goodbye to his family. Here’s the CBC news story but warning….this is graphic.

I don’t know why but I feel as though this horrible tragedy may be a turning point in our world. Little Alan’s loss of life is not in vain. The suffering that he and his people are enduring is touching the world and we are remembering that we are ALL connected. We are brothers and sisters. Compassion and love unites us.

What can we do to change the world? We can love the people in our immediate circle. We can bring our friends and neighbours in closer and look for opportunities to help and support them. We can look within our own communities for opportunities to help those less fortunate. The ripple of our circle can extend beyond our limits and touch the world.

We can let our Country’s leaders know that we will only vote for those who are compassionate and moving in the direction of dealing with this world crisis, helping the refugees find a safe and peaceful home to raise their families.

And finally, we can hold the vision of what we want our world to evolve into. As I go to sleep each night, I say a prayer for all those suffering in the world and hold the vision of light and love circling the globe.

Please join me in listening to this following You tube song, “A Song of Peace.”  In memory of Dr. Wayne Dyer and also little Alan Kurdi, his older brother and their mom. (If you can’t see this video click on the hyper-link above)

Beautiful isn’t it? Music connects us like nothing else.

And if you have any additional time today and wish to hear Dr. Wayne Dyer’s friend and another of my mentors, Dr. Deepak Chopra, speak to the World Peace Orchestra about art and music, touching the world, check out the video below. Thank you Deepak!

Thank you for coming and visiting. Remember….you are my family and I love you!

Until we meet again, may you be well, happy and peaceful.

Blessings from Hope

 

Caesar Salad and Living Fully

/ Lee Reynolds

What does a Caesar salad and living fully, have in common? Very little, unless you look at it from my perspective. A few events and experiences in the last week have inspired this blog post and finally this morning everything is formulating clearly in my mind.

If you aren’t interested in the connection, then scroll down to find my easy and delicious Caesar salad recipe. If you have a cup of tea nearby AND the time to immerse yourself in one of my novellas, then I invite you to read on.

Our oldest son “Clark,” which interestingly enough is old English and means scholar, likes to watch our National news whenever he emerges from his room. We usually only see Clark at meal time and on the rare occasion he wishes to be with his family, which is usually only at mealtime. Now, I don’t want to give you the idea that Clark is anti social or anti- family. Far from it. After all he chose to stay home and attend our local University, even though he had been accepted at an excellent University a distance from our home.

Clark brought home dry ice from his day at the science centre

He can be quite an extrovert. He can talk to anyone about anything, anytime of the day.  For only being 21 he is quite accomplished, having achieved his second Dan black belt in Tae Kwon Do, became an accredited lifeguard, as well as excelling in playing violin and sax in our local youth symphony and jazz band. When he isn’t studying Science at University, you can find him in our local gym lifting weights, creating music and playing games with friends or working at the Science Centre. He is known as the Science guy in the birthday party set, as he can make a mean cup of flubber and give you a wild ride on the gyro chair. When he does come home, he is pleasant, regales us with a few interesting tidbits from his day and then he heads to his room to recharge. I also think he squeezes out his sponge, so when he re-emerges he is capable of absorbing more knowledge.

When he does make that entrance, it usually coincides with opening the fridge and turning on the T.V. to our news station. I suppose this is one of his many sources for knowledge but personally, I find the news too disturbing. Terrorism, countries fighting and killing their neighbours, and even our  own federal government politicians squabbling like little children. It all seems to unnerve me and put a damper on my daily enthusiasm.

Clark appears to be unmoved by the events transpiring all over the world. He is able to watch with detachment but with interest as he forms his own ideas about the world he lives in and perhaps too, how he would like to help it evolve. His is the next generation to create change and if Clark is any indicator of how they will manage, it will certainly be with conscious intent. He lives fully in the moment and makes wherever he is a better place.

Another source of news comes from our local paper. The “Morning Star.” It brings a piece of community into our homes and reminds us how closely we are all connected. Even though it’s only a few dozen pages in length, at most, I usually don’t have much time for this, published three times a week paper. Thankfully, while the little girls played, I took the time last Wednesday to flip through the pages as I would have missed out on something that has impacted me. Maybe this is how Clark views his obsession of watching the global news.

When I turned to the obituary section, I got hit in the gut with shock and sadness over seeing a friend’s picture. I say friend, because whenever I saw ” Erin,” I always felt good. She was the best sort of friend. One who always makes you feel happy that you ran into her. I met her for the first time when her oldest child was in preschool with my 3rd oldest, Mitchell. She had a lovely laid back attitude and a quick, light laugh that filled the air with joy. I loved that she didn’t bat an eye when her little daughter wore a tiara to preschool every single day throughout the year. I used to be more controlling and would have encouraged our child to leave the head piece at home, so when I asked her about it she said, something like, “well I’m going to let her be a princess for as long as she wants.” I LOVED that about her. I aspire to be more like that.

Over the years, I would bump into Erin at our local music school, where we would discuss the benefits of music lessons and how to encourage practice without pushing our children. Then there were the times I saw her at soccer games, me yelling my head off but her with a relaxed, “whatever” attitude. She was always interested in our ever growing family and would always say, “I don’t know how you do it!” Which made me feel stronger somehow and even though things may have been difficult the morning I saw her, after her comment, I would dig deeper and find the best of myself to mother our brood.

I haven’t seen her in a number of years as although our children attended the same high school, once children become teens they aren’t always accompanied by their parents. It wasn’t until I was helping out at the grad decorating afternoon last June when I heard someone say, “did you hear about Erin?” And I said, “no, what are you talking about?” Over the years I have been so absorbed raising our family and have not kept my ear to the community gossip. I had heard our family was often the subject, with our larger size and us having children well into our 40’s. I preferred to distance myself from people who were in the “know.” But this had put me at a disadvantage as well, since I wasn’t aware when someone was having a hard time.

I had no idea she had been battling brain cancer and was in the final days of her fight. Throughout Mitchell’s graduation weekend, I kept thinking about Erin, her two children, her family and how they were doing. It impacted me. D said he saw her not looking so great at the grad picture gathering but I had missed her. Mitchell too had been affected by this news. He knew all about it of course because of social media/Facebook, but he hadn’t ever said anything to me until I asked him about it. I know he was thinking in his teen terms something to the effect,”by the grace of God go I,” in that his mother was physically well and his classmate, he had known since preschool, was losing her’s.

Over the summer, I was on my guard every time I opened the paper wondering if this would be the day I would hear about Erin leaving the earth. The summer came and went and she presumably fought on. Then on September 18th, as we had just heard  the teacher’s strike was over and our kids were going back to school, she lost her fight. She was going home. I was so sad when I saw her face on the obituary page. She shouldn’t be there. Heck, we are almost the same age. Her youngest still hasn’t even graduated from high school. Do you ever wonder about life? How things don’t seem fair. Beautiful, kind, generous people, leaving the world while evil persists in all sorts of individuals.

Of course if you have read my blog, you know about my husbands co- worker, whose young teen son was killed in a boating accident this past June. And then, our oldest daughter’s high school friend dying in May, from complications after a double lung transplant. She had fought CF with hope and optimism her whole life and would have turned 24 last June.

While all these events touched me, I was thinking, the one thing we have in common is that we are ALL going to die.  This used to be a joke in my husband’s family since his Dad sold cemetary property and planned funerals. He used to say, “none of us get out of here alive.” The other thing we have in common is we have a choice how we are going to live?

My 11 year old daughter Grace had a sleepover on Friday night. Early in the week she had come home from her first days at school a bit depressed since her good friend had moved to Alberta. When I suggested a back to school sleepover party on Friday night she perked right up. I knew she was excited about it because when I went into her room to collect the garbage from her wicker basket under her desk, I saw a piece of paper outlining fun ideas for her party. “Dinner, 2 hours at our local rec centre pool, movie/popcorn, games”…it just made me smile.

As I was thinking about my friend Erin letting her little girl be a princess when she was small, I thought about my Grace and how I wanted her to enjoy her princess years too. She is going to be leaving childhood pretty soon and becoming a teen and I wanted her to have some wonderful memories of this special time.

I decided to make a homemade pizza, which is often our Friday night dinner anyway, and also make a caesar salad which is Grace’s all time favourite. When I was at the grocery store though I forgot to pick up the dressing we usually purchase. The old me, would have called D to bring some home after work (using more gas to drive to the store) but the new me, trying to be frugal while being more sustainable, with a can do attitude, decided to make it from scratch. I Googled a bunch of recipes and came up with a creation for our evening’s salad. It absolutely amazes me how empowered I feel when I don’t need a product….cross out caesar dressing off my grocery list. I can now make it from SCRATCH.  I know weird but I get a great sense of satisfaction from little things in life, like THAT.

Grace and her friends, I was admiring all the girl’s long hair and of course, I was seeing their invisible princess tiaras too.

The pizzas turned out delicious (cheese being the top choice for the girls but wow..the vegetarian I made was superb, if I do say so myself) and the salad was sensational. I made a large bowl but every last bit of romaine was eaten. A great sign of success! Especially among tweens, who don’t always like their veggies. The sleepover was smashing too. The girls liked the dinner, the pool time, the movies, the popcorn/licorice. In morning, D got up early on Saturday to make them pancakes with fruit, syrup and whipped cream and I made them a fruit smoothie. One of the girls had to get up early to go to her gymnastics class and then she said her family were off for an afternoon hike at a mountain about a 2 hour drive from our hometown. This family is always living life with “gusto.” They always are doing something physically challenging.

The celebration of life service for my friend was later that afternoon. I didn’t attend. I thought about it but then felt a better place for me to remember her was in my garden. So while D puttered around the garage, I mowed the lawn, cultivated around my still growing herbs and turned the contents in our compost bin. Once living grass, leaves, vegetable and fruit peelings are now rich, dark fertile dirt. Full of potential for new living things to grow in next spring.

We all are going to die but we also have a choice how we are going to live.What things can we grow in our fertile lives. What do we want to create,  how we can be a service to those around us, how we can help those who are struggling all around the world. It’s a reality check that brings me daily back to how I want to live fully.

A while ago, I did a meditation challenge with Dr. Deepak Chopra and I wrote down something on his web site that touched me.

“Today, and everyday, I give that which I want to receive.” I nourish the Universe and the Universe nourishes me.”

Yes, sometimes it’s just about making a great ceasar salad and letting my daughter be a princess for a bit longer but mostly it’s living life with gusto. Giving all of me to the world. I have a lovely quote on a book mark I use for my soul filled books and as I absorb new ideas and thoughts, I close my book on this idea;

“If there is light in the soul…..there will be peace in the world.” ~Chinese proverb~

Today, what I can share with the world is my caesar salad recipe and my light.

Buddha said~”Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared.”



Today, I’m thinking of Erin. All the kind, encouraging things she said to me and all the laughs she shared with me. All the light she brought to the world. I hope she is at peace.

“Precious Lord, take my hand.
Lead me on. Let me stand.
I am tired. I am weak. I am worn.
Through the storm,
Through the night,
Lead me on to the light.
Take my hand, precious Lord
and lead me home.”

~African-American Spiritual~

Please join me in lighting the world and living fully while we are here, for my friend Erin, for all the people struggling, and for the people whom you have loved and hold close to your heart.

.

AND now, finally here is my caesar salad recipe…..for after all, we have to eat too. This is part of living life with gusto, my dear Italian friend Jane would wholeheartedly agree!

Here’s are the main ingredients you will need

You will also need croutons, bacon bits,

Grace’s Caesar Salad 

Ingredients

1 head of romaine lettuce
1 cup of homemade croutons
1/8 cup bacon bits (you can purchase vegan bacon bits too)
2 cups of croutons (easy to make)
1/4 cup of grated Parmesan cheese


Dressing:
1/4 cup vegetable_oil
2 tbsp grated Parmesan cheese
1 tbsp white_wine_vinegar
2 tsp Dijon_mustard or 2 tsp of dried mustard
2 tsp  anchovy_paste (optional)
2 cloves garlic, minced
1/2 tsp each salt and pepper
1/2 tsp Worcestershire_sauce
3 tbsp light mayonnaise 

Preparation

1. Dressing: In bowl, whisk together oil, cheese, vinegar, mustard, anchovy paste, garlic, salt, pepper and Worcestershire sauce. Whisk in mayonnaise until smooth.

 

 

 

 2. Tear lettuce into bite-size pieces to make about 20 cups (5 L); place in large bowl. Add dressing, croutons, bacon bits and cheese; toss to combine.

 

And here is our Friday night, sleepover dinner. A dinner fit for princesses!

 

 

We loved this so much, that I made a lentil soup on Saturday night and ANOTHER caesar salad, this time, adding roasted chicken pieces to the salad. It was sooo yummy, and hopefully it will go down as one of Grace’s childhood favourites.
As for me, “I still find each day too short for all the thoughts I want to think, all the walks I want to take, all the books I want to read, and all the friends I want to see.”

~John Burroughs~And all the blog posts I want to write. Thanks dear family and friends for sharing in my life, reading my novellas and lighting the world with your love.


Live life with your heart wide open

 
Until we meet again, may you be well, peaceful and happy.Blessings from Hope

      Count Your Blessings

      / Lee Reynolds

       

       

      This plaque in my bathroom reminds me daily to “Count My Blessings”

      For a few weeks now a blog post has been composting inside my head. It started when our 18 year old son Mitchell came home after being out really late, to tell us that there had been a little mishap with our new car. I kind of was waiting for this “first” incident. My husband D had been hovering over the car like it was a new baby and whenever one of  our driving kids asked to use it, he would grill them with questions as to where they were going, how long would they be out, was there adequate parking…etc.

      It was the inquisition questions I usually pose, to make sure our children are going to be safe.  But in this case, it was to ensure the “car” would be safe. Oh, and the last thing D would say to our kids as they headed out, was, “drive safely.” They would nod and say, “of course,” and be off.

      Now normally I’m the one to give this line, “be safe.” After all it was my dad who was killed in an automobile accident when I was a child and you know it’s like a well worn rut in my life, things happen in a blink of an eye and there is no going back to life as you once knew it. It’s fear. Blatant fear.

      This time though it was D who was fearful and of course it was for his children, but you know this time it was really about the new little car sitting in our garage. He has been more protective of this car than any of the others. True, the others were getting older when our kids started to drive them. but it’s kind of funny because it’s not like this was an expensive car. It’s a car that we’ve needed to purchase for awhile now but we were hoping to buy a hybrid or an electric car. We were really wanted to make a green choice this next time.

      We held on to his Dodge Durango (a gas guzzler to be sure) and my old Ford Windstar van for WELL over 10 years; longer than we have ever held onto any cars before, because,

      1. The Durango was a 4 wheel drive, it was our ski car to get us up to the hill safely and it seated 7…plus you know we get a lot of snow where we live right?.

      2.  Cars are expensive and we wanted to buy the greenest car we could afford for our next purchase

      3. We wanted to make sure the kids that were driving, had more experience on our old cars before     we bought new ones.

      So finally, last year we bought a new Honda Odessey Van (yes, not the greenest car but sadly there aren’t any large family green vehicles out there…makes sense I guess) to replace my Ford but since it isn’t insured for the kids to drive, there hasn’t been any panic over its use.

      This summer we finally bought a little economical Honda Fit. It’s the sport edition so it has fancy little wheels and spoiler. D loves how peppy it is and although he is over 6 feet tall he says  it’s very spacious. He also loves the gas savings.

      Well that is the back story on our car situation for you but what I wanted to talk about was this little accident Mitchell experienced. He apparently was leaving his friend’s place very late, well actually early in the morning, and ended up backing into his friend’s car. It thankfully, wasn’t damaged at all since it was like 20 years old and made of stronger stuff than our Honda but our little car was really hurt.

      Mitchell said he couldn’t sleep when he came home and instead dozed off and on until he heard his Dad getting up for work. He said he had to tell him what had happened before he went out and saw it for himself. Now I must give him credit for coming clean. That must have been really hard because he knew how much his Dad loved this new little car.

      I wasn’t happy with how angry D was over this situation. For a day he was outraged and told Mitchell that he was paying for it. Which I agree is the right thing to teach children to be more careful but I think he walked around with his jaw set tightly a bit longer than was necessary.

      Okay, so  this is our pretty little car….not even 6 weeks old.

       

      Our new little economical Fit sporty car.

      and here is the damage

      I’m not going to blow it up….it isn’t a pretty sight.
      Now I have to give you a bit more back story on how things have been going around here. Our son Mitchell graduated this past June. Out of our three kids driving he probably is the best.
      Mitchell trying on his gown a day before Grad
      All summer it’s been me who has been having ‘”issues” with Mitchell. He took Psych 12 and says that to make it easier for me to let him go off to University in September, I have been angry with him for one thing or another and it will be less traumatic say good bye if I’m mad at him. Well, it may be that, but I think it has more to do with the fact that I felt if he had time to go out with friends, into the wee hours of the morning, then  he had time to help out “more” around the house.Typical power struggle as kids grow up…they want total autonomy and we still want them to be part of the family.
      Now I have to tell you that Mitchell is an AWESOME young man. This kid has been hard wired to get along socially with everyone since he was tiny. He just gets it and is really well balanced. He is an excellent student, has received scholarships to attend University, is multi-talented,  plays cello, guitar, loves all sorts of sports, is a soccer ref and is well liked at the neighbourhood grocery store where he has worked for over a year now.
      I think because he is so amazing, may be part of the reason I push him so hard. I want him to rise to be his best self. So when I heard about the accident on our little car, you would think that I too would be angry, but I wasn’t. My first reaction was relief that it was just the car that was damaged. Then I was really proud how he handled things with his father.  I also saw remorse for the accident and I know he was feeling so badly over the whole situation. It just broke my heart. Also, I knew how hard he was working to help with University expenses and now he would have to pay hundreds to repair the car.
      To give you a glimpse into the whole picture, at the beginning of summer, one of my husband’s co-worker’s son was killed in an accident. He was only 15. The family had a summer cabin and their son went out early one evening to go tubing with neighbours. When he fell off his tube, the boat went back to pick him up but tragically drove over him instead. He was air lifted to a nearby hospital with life threatening injuries but he lived for less than a week, until finally his parents made the difficult decision to end life support.
      We were all reeling over the accident. Partly, because we knew his parents but mainly because it had been such a senseless accident. Also, when you live in a small town there are always so many connections. Mitchell knew the person who drove the boat. It was his boss’s wife. Our whole community was affected by this young person’s death and sadly it wasn’t a singular affair. Several children have been killed in our community this past year due to accidents and then Alyssa, our oldest, also lost a dear friend who had CF and passed away several months after under going a lung transplant.
      So after two days of D being angry over the car incident and watching Mitchell move around the house with a glum face, I finally called D at the office and said things had to change. I asked him to come home and drive Mitchell to his afternoon shift at work. D said that it was so strange that I had just called as he had just been talking to his co worker on the phone. They had been discussing how he was processing grief and he was saying he had to try to get back to a normal routine even though things would never be normal again. D suddenly had a new perspective into our little accident.
      We hadn’t lost a child. He was still there to hug and for us to tell him how proud we were of him and how much we loved him. He was even there for us to be mad at and later in the summer we would have the opportunity to send him off to University. Wow!
      The car is just a ‘thing” which can be repaired. It will be replaced several times over Mitchell’s lifetime, God willing. It was a good lesson for our son to realize how quickly an accident happens. Maybe this lesson will have prevented a bigger one, more serious from occurring. It was a good lesson for us as well to count our blessings.
      So D came home that afternoon and drove Mitchell to work. He told him how he really felt. That our son was the most important person in the world to us and accidents are learning opportunities…for everyone.
      Years ago, I read a bible quote that has always stuck with me and I have incorporated it into my daily life mantras. Maybe you don’t have issues with “stuff” but I think this is one of life’s lessons for us to be heightened to as we go about our lives acquiring things. We work so hard on earth and for what? For me this bible quote puts this all into perspective.

      Matthew 6:19-21   King James Version

      19 Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal:
      20 But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal:
      21 For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.

      King James Version (KJV)

      So tomorrow before I get out of bed,  I’m going to Count My Blessings. Being grateful is truly  the core of being happy and living our best life.

      What are the blessings you are counting?

       Until I see you again, may you be well, happy and peaceful.

      Blessings from Hope