Life around the homestead has been busier than usual this past week as we have been helping our oldest daughter prepare to leave home. Although she has been in and out of the proverbial nest for the last 6 years while she has been attending the University of Victoria, this trip is the big take off.
Tomorrow she leaves for the U. K. where she will begin her teaching career and hopefully be inspired to write (or complete) one of the many novels she has in the works. We are really sad to see her leave but are also very excited that she is going to one of her “bucket list” places to live in the world. Actually, the U.K. is at the TOP of the list.
 |
| Red luggage. This is Alyssa’s Graduation present (B. Ed program) from us |
It’s quite fitting as well since she is an English Major. She has been enamored with English history ever since she first started to read. I’ve told her many times that she must have lived there in a past lifetime as she has been so passionate about anything to do with the British Isles however there is that genetic connection as well.
Almost a hundred years ago, my fraternal grandfather, Robert Clark, left Workington, England (Lake District) with two of his brothers. They left their mother, father and many brothers and sisters (there were 13 kids in that family and I often think of what Great Grandmother Jane’s life was like compared to mine) I can’t imagine how their parents must have felt as they watched their three sons pack and then say good bye.
The three sons never returned to England. In fact, one of the brothers drowned in a river in Alberta, Canada and my grandfather had to write home and break the news to the family. I can’t imagine how painful that must have been for his parents. Regardless, that was the way it was back then before plane travel took off and the age of internet or even Skype. So in a way, I feel like Alyssa is going home. I’m sure Great Grandma Jane is smiling and will watching over her.
Well that is the back story but more recently within our immediate family, we have been preparing for this send off for a number of years and in fact in our laundry room is a plaque that says,
To Our Children
We Give Two Things,
One is roots…
The Other is Wings.
Why it’s in the laundry room I can’t say….maybe it’s because the red in the plaque matches my LG washer and dryer? OR it’s to remind me as I wash and dry endless amounts of children’s clothing that the everyday act of caring and nurturing for them is the true gift.
 |
||||
| Will sleeping peacefully in the laundry room….it has great white noise when the dryer is on..which is ALWAYS! |
I feel like we have really lived that motto to the best of our ability as parents. We have given our children a stable home, a place where their needs come first and their voices are heard. We have also done a good job at allowing them to experience a diverse childhood with exposure to many activities and have provided them with a good education.
I have noticed that Alyssa has been irritated easily in the last few months by our large family and all the various personalities within. I see her flapping her wings, getting stronger daily but not being able to leave the nest quite yet. The winds haven’t been quite right. Once she takes off tomorrow, she won’t be looking back. Instead she will be enjoying the scenery and the experiences along the way.
Another cool insight I have had as I process this letting go moment is that I have never felt more connected with the world as when I think of my oldest baby out in it. She is out with her bigger family and she is going to be okay.
She’s made mention recently that it’s probably easier for us to say good bye to her since our nest will still be jam packed. Yes it’s true, no empty nest syndrome around here but just because we still have lots of children in the house, it certainly doesn’t mean it will be any easier to watch her go. Her leaving is HUGE. She was our first baby. The one we experimented on. The one we hovered over for the first three years until her brother Clark came on the scene. We thought she was the most beautiful, engaging baby in all the world. And she was. She has grown into this strong young woman and even though her voice is quiet, her presence in our lives has been immense. Her leaving will not just create an empty place in our home but in our hearts as well. It’s all kind of bittersweet as we don’t know when we will be together again.
Like my great grandmother Jane, who still had a house full when my grandfather and his brothers left home, I don’t know when I will be able to see Alyssa again. Yes, I will be saving traveling overseas money as soon as she leaves but there is always something that comes up. Oh yeah, we still have to renovate over the garage to accommodate our teenage, drum playing son, the roof of the homestead will have to be replaced and I have huge garden plans that will take not just money but time. You know what I mean, there is always something that comes up. Not to mention her brother Mitchell is off to University in 2 weeks (stay tuned for a post about that good bye moment) and we still haven’t bought everything he will need for his University/cluster housing experience.
I’m not worrying about the money aspect though because somehow it always comes. I do believe that when we have total focus and intention towards any goal it comes to be. I’ve taught Alyssa this well, because I’ve shown her how I reached for the things that I wanted most in the world (the lifestyle to remain at home raising my children and my children themselves, some of whom didn’t come with ease) and eventually all my dreams came true. Even more abundantly than I ever dreamed. I know her dreams will come as well……they are already starting to manifest.
One other belief I hold close to my heart that makes this process easier, is best said in the following poem by Kahlil Gibran,
On Children
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.
Hmmm…isn’t that great! Every part of that poem just resonates with my soul and I hope that my bow has been stable for the surest arrows to fly
Tomorrow when Alyssa flies away, I hope she knows all my love and happiness go with her. And Alyssa, if you are reading this, don’t forget the words on the pillow I embroidered for you years ago. They were the words that a piano adjudicator said to you during one of your music festivals. And they were;
“Relax, Breathe, Trust and Enjoy,“
Don’t be afraid to let the melody soar….great music is within you.
 |
| My daughter Alyssa getting ready to take off….2014 |
Until I see you again, may you be well, happy and peaceful. (and for my blog readers that have children…….let them fly)
Blessings from Hope.