As I grieve over the fact that our oldest daughter has moved to the other side of the world and I miss her terribly, I realize that I can’t just lay in bed and be sad. The thing about having other children is that you have no choice. You have to get up and do what needs doing each day. Oh that reminds me of a wonderful poem I read years ago and I’d love to share it with you now. The poem is an excerpt from the book called, “The Invitation,” by Oriah Mountain Dreamer. Have you read it?
If you are needing the recipe for the dishwasher detergent, because that is eventually the destination of this post, please scroll down to the bottom of the page. Otherwise if you are able and willing to take a diverted path with me, I think there will be a point to this post and it will be about more than clean dishes.
But who knows, have you ever started on a path and “thought” it was taking you in a certain direction and you ended up being somewhere totally unexpected. Sometimes my posts are like that. We will see where this path takes us.
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The Invitation
It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.
It doesn’t interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.
It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life’s betrayals or have become shrivelled and closed from fear of further pain.
I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it, or fade it, or fix it.
I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own; if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, be realistic, remember the limitations of being human.
It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself. If you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul. If you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.
I want to know if you can see Beauty even when it is not pretty every day. And if you can source your own life from its presence.
I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand at the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, ‘Yes.’
It doesn’t interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone and do what needs to be done to feed the children.
It doesn’t interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the centre of the fire with me and not shrink back.
It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.
Isn’t is amazing? If you haven’t read anything by Oriah check out her writing.I love that part in the poem that talks about wanting to connect with someone who can get up after a night of grief and despair, bruised to the bone and do what needs to be done to feed the children.
There have many times in my life where I have had to do just that. The day after having an ultrasound, and learning that our much wanted “Soulbaby’s” heart beat had stopped, I had no choice but to go on. I awoke the next morning to light, even though I was surrounded by a grey fog of grief. All around me were happy, chirping voices of our children, waking up for the day and I had to get up. I had to feed them, and care for them. I had to love them. I had to keep going.
The really wonderful lesson I learned during that time of waiting for my body to say good bye to our baby, (my body didn’t want to miscarry) was that grief is full of grace .It takes us into a deeper dimension of human experience, floods us with pain and as waves of grief wash over us, we have glimpses into another realm. A place of peace. I recall waking each morning to a living night mare, waiting for my body to let go, only to find a hungry little one asking, “what’s for breakfast.” I was humbly grateful for the children already in my care. They anchored me to this life and allowed me to see the beauty in the world. Loving those ones and loosing others, are all part of the experience we call life.
And while letting go of our oldest can’t even compare to that time of grief, or others I have felt, for she is very much alive and well. We are excited for her to continue her life’s journey, I’m still so sad that she will not share my day to day life events. I will miss making carrot cake for her and seeing her smile as she savours it. I will miss the smell of her fresh, sweet scent and oh the music that filled the house as she played on her piano will leave an echo of longing in me.
But today, I realize that the dishes still need to be washed, the children need to be fed, the house needs cleaning. I must nurture the children remaining and allow their childhood memories to flourish so they can carry them out into the world just as their big sister is doing now.
What is the big drama going on in your life? What do you think is really going on and what are you learning from your experience and situation?
Is there a “mundane” task that can be taken on with sacred appreciation so you can find joy in the moment?
And so FINALLY, after much ado…the dishes. Those dirty dishes ground us!
We renovated our kitchen a number of years ago and bought a highly regarded Bosch dishwasher with a stainless steel drum and enough cycles to confuse a person but it has never cleaned our dishes really well.
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| Sorry it’s a fuzzy pic…but here is my kitchen…our dishwasher is next to our sink |
I have tried all the various cycles on our dishwasher. I’ve experimented with all the various top selling dishwasher detergents, as well as tried a few final rinse products but our dishes never get really clean. I don’t think I’m the only one either. I was really getting tired of watching my children pull the glasses and dishes from the cupboards and scrutinize them with a discerning eye which made me feel like I was a horrible housekeeper. Occasionally I would tell them that they need to go and live in a third world country for awhile to appreciate a clean dish here, well almost clean anyway. Then several times this year we had their friends visit and as my children inspected cups to serve their guests, their friends would say, oh yeah we have to do that at our house too. Hmmmm.
This summer during one of the weeks that I was trying to stretch our budget and during another of my rants on how we were drowning in product packaging, I found this really great recipe for dishwasher detergent. You know what it works. REALLY WORKS! at cleaning our dishes.
The first time I used my new homemade dishwasher bombs, they left my dishes squeaky clean. So if you are interested in having clean dishes too, THEN check out this recipe and make a batch for your family. It’s this kind of stuff that keeps me grounded on this earth and thankful to have another day to experience life. Even when it is tinged with sadness and grief. Oh and the best part, it costs next to nothing, the ingredients are in any well stocked kitchen as they are used in many cleaning and baking recipes and it’s all environmentally friendly with no toxins. You gotta love that.
Hope’s homemade dishwasher detergent
Ingredients
1 cup of washing soda ~if you have difficulty finding this…you can make it…see below~
1 cup baking soda
3 tbsp of citric acid
1 cup of coarse salt
1 cup of water
Opt: Essential Oil of your choice…Lavender or Tea Tree Oil are a disinfectant
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| I didn’t have any citric acid in my house so I used the lemonade mix my best friend gave me during her last visit…first ingredient…citric acid…voila. Thanks Tamara! |
If you are unable to find washing soda, all you have to do is place 1 cup of baking soda in a baking sheet for 1 hour at 425 degrees F, spread it thinly and it will magically transform into washing soda. My sciency son Clark was impressed the first time I made this and he reminded me how important chemistry is in our lives.
Directions
In a medium size bowl mix all the ingredients together. If you are wanting a powdered detergent you are done after adding all the dry ingredients. Just put it in a container with a scoop and enjoy.
I added water to the mix though. Once you add water the mixture will fizz for a few minutes. Once the fizzing has stopped you can mix it further. This hardens rather fast so you need to work quickly. Take a teaspoon size scoop and mash the mixture into individual ice cube trays or you can make little balls like I did and lay them on a cookie sheet to dry for 24 hours.
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| Letting my “bomb” dry in our laundry room |
When they are firm you can put them in a container and start using them. If you want to add any essential oil just add it with the water. I added lavender to our first batch which had a lovely lemon and lavender scent.
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| I found the perfect container to put under my sink |
When I have a pot or pan that is unusually dirty, I just mash a bomb into the soaking pan and let it sit overnight and in the morning I easily clean it. Sometimes you have to take the gritty mixture and scrub the pot with it so it’s really clean. I love this so I have also eliminated scrubbing pads.
I want to also share that I have stopped adding any type of rinsing solution to my dishwasher and now only add a few tbsps of vinegar to my machine. Results: clean, green dishes.
You know I was thinking about my great grandmothers and all the work they had to perform before the invention of appliances and convenient kitchen products, theyhey also lived in a time when there was a lot of grief. I mean my own grandmother had 8 children, of whom only 6 made it through childhood, also there were childhood diseases and accidents, all more mainstream than they are now so having a lot more housework and just keeping their families fed took enormous amounts of energy. Maybe this was how they were able to cope with living in those times.
Being more sustainable is trendy now. It is certainly a greener choice and one of frugality but there is another side benefit; it allows us to be mindfully connected by doing simple chores and remembering that although feeling whatever drama is occurring in our lives is an important aspect of this earthly experience, being grateful for the small things in life gives us the greatest joy. Who knew, clean dishes was so huge!
Until I see you again, may you be well, happy, and peaceful.
Blessings from Hope