Following up to my post which I wrote a few weeks ago on inspiration, (Cinnamon Raisin Bread and Inspiration, or is it the other way around?) I wanted to share a few additional thoughts and also a link to a TED Talk I recently found, which further inspired THIS post. Have you ever wondered where creative inspiration comes from? I know you know what I’m talking about because we have all experienced it in life. Even those people who are very analytical, and have a black and white belief system and say they don’t have one creative bone in their body. We all have that golden connection to the divine, whether we want to admit it or not. Whether we want to be open and allow it to settle within, filling us with brilliant light to shine out into the world. Our Bravo moments!
I have experienced those timeless, uplifting moments when I parent, cook, garden, but lately they erupt like a geyser to the surface of my consciousness, not able to be contained below ground any longer. They spill forth and I either have to grab a piece of paper and write down the flowing words, or they evaporate into the heavens. If I do capture them in time and I start to fill my bucket with ideas, thoughts, feelings of expression; the words pour out of me and I KNOW, I am but a vessel of divine creativity.
Those moments, when I have captured pure love, and passed it on to my child, or put it into my soup, or my garden, or allowed it to flow onto a page, I know that is eternal soul speaking through me. That is the little piece of GOD that shines within me. I live for those brief, elusive moments. They are the things that get me up in the morning and I hold my breath for all day….always looking to be taken, swept away and allowed to soar on the wings of inspiration.
We are all given these glimpses, but for some of us they appear more readily or for longer stretches of time so we can produce great works of art. Some of us have to just show up as Elizabeth Gilbert wrote in her book, “Big Magic,” and say, I’m here, ready to do the work and just hope that “creative genius,” will come to the table. That is our job, to show up, to not lose hope, to trust that we will be lifted by creative genius to have a baby, write a song, paint a picture, or write a book.
Sometimes, we just have to keep breathing, keep experimenting, as Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote in the quote that started this blog post.
“All Life is an Experiment, the more you experiment the better.”
Because the more that I do what I love to do, parent, cook, garden, practice my yoga….and write….the better I get and sometimes that is enough. It has to be,…..but I’m still holding out for the moments of pure Grace that come in the early morning hours while the house lies in deep stillness.
If you have 18 minutes and want to be further inspired, check out Elizabeth Gilbert’s TED Talk called, “Your Elusive Creative Genius.” It’s interesting that she gave this talk quite awhile before she wrote the book, “BIG MAGIC.” The ideas for that book, were obviously starting to stir and alighting inside, ready to settle and allow her to write another great book.
We all have it in us, we just have to BELIEVE and keep showing up, being open.
I hope this post and the Elizabeth’s TED Talk lifts you up and moves you in the direction of your most creative self. So you can live your best life.
Lately, I think that is what my blog is evolving into. I started it while on the road to becoming more environmentally conscious, more sustainable. My intense appreciation for Mother Earth, (H.O.P.E. is my acronym for “helping our planet earth”) but there are other ways to give back. Helping those find their link to the divine is truly coming home. Surrendering fear and filling the space with gratitude, is the first step. Always letting go and trusting, holding the belief we are souls first, living an earthly existence and we are limitless as a result. If we can assimilate that belief system into our lives, not just for seconds but mindfully throughout our lifetime. It’s then we will be filled up with love and creative genius will alight within us to help us create a better world. Each of us contributing the beauty of our soul.
And while yes, I’m going to be talking about building chicken coops, gardening for a more productive vegetable yield, baking a healthier cake, raising a kinder, more conscious child, and more, I want to tap into why we are all here on this planet at this time in history. I know the world is shifting, the vibration towards pure consciousness is speeding faster and faster. That explains why in many pockets of the world there is chaos, because many people are driven by fear and that creates anger and hatred, but if we remember from where we came and who we truly are, our time on earth will be remembered as the shift in mass consciousness towards spiritual awakening.
It may feel unsettling but any change, even a positive change can make us feel shaky. As one final link, check out this piece written by, Jim Malloy, “How The Consciousness Shift May be Affecting You.” We just need to let go and trust and peace will reign. Hold the vision with me…H.T.V….maybe that will be another new acronym for my blog…sounds like a new T.V. network.
Stay tuned for more from this network….more to come on H.T.V. as the inspiration is flowing nightly. Thanks for being my co creators! I love you all!
Here is a quote from Choquash – a Native American storyteller – which captures the essence of all this…
“The elders have sent me to tell you that now is like a rushing river, and this will be experienced in many different ways. There are those who would hold onto the shore… there is no shore. The shore is crumbling. Push off into the middle of the river. Keep your head above the water, look around to see who else is in the river with you, and celebrate.”
Until we meet again, may you be well, happy and peaceful.
As I write this blog post, January is waving goodbye and I can feel the promise of early Spring. A few days ago, I woke to a brighter light, making me strip layers of winter warmth off my body. I felt more invigorated and buoyant saying goodbye to my school bound kids which normally, is a bittersweet moment as a large part of me wants to keep them close. Using some quick child psychology on the little girls, suggesting with my head nodding vigorously and a huge smile on my face, that it would be the perfect day to play hookie from their preschool program, (playing hookie is good for the soul too) of which thankfully, they happily agreed to. I started planning my day.
The advantages of having twins as our youngest children is I never feel a need to set up social engagements for them. They are each others best friend and so I quickly perused the|”Activity Village” web site for inspiration to keep them busy for the morning. I often use it to generate some structured project/craft and again, I was not disappointed. Gathering the supplies I needed and also the homemade play doh we had cooked a few days earlier, I arranged a few stations around the kitchen. First a colouring, cutting and pasting project and then colouring a large heart, cutting it out and then using a paper punch, sewing the edges with a shoelace. Finally, the play doh station to really round things out. They are off to kindergarten next September and as sad as that makes me, learning to work independently is part of that preparation.
The little girls and I had made play doh and also used some SAJE (Yoga) essential oil…not only does it smell great but it works as an anti-bacterial product as well…and let’s just say….play doh needs that!
I figured I had a good hour or so to dig into a few projects.
Over the years, as each child has arrived and our family has grown, I’ve let a bit more of my, A type personality go with regards to a clean house. Just keeping us in groceries, everyone fed, in neat and tidy clothes and having a some what orderly house was my main objective. For instance, I used to change our sheets every Monday like clockwork, but currently with seven beds to change, that chore is now performed twice a month. And even then, I stagger laundering everyone’s bedding over several days. It’s just not practical, nor is it environmentally friendly. The kid’s go to bed, often freshly bathed each night and so that is one weekly duty that is superfluous.
As the little girls got down to their crafts, I put on their Kindermusik music CD and as I whipped around the house, I could hear them chatting and singing in their high pitched voices.
Cleaning house is a bit like a jigsaw puzzle to me. You pick up a piece and recognize where it might go and while doing so, you identify another piece that you are looking for….it can be rather thrilling as more and more pieces come together forming a beautiful picture. I know, call me weird but I like doing what the Persian people call, “khounch tekouni,” which literally means, “shaking the house.” In late spring households there under take cleaning every space in their homes in anticipation of their spring festival called, “Nowruz.” By the time the 12 day festival starts, the homes are clean and the people feel lighter and happier as they feast and visit family.
My mother’s birthday was on March 20th, which is the first day of spring. My goal each year has always been to have our whole house cleaned, de-cluttered and organized, not just so I could have the family over and throw a little party for her, but it was to welcome a new season. To shake things up, move things that are longer serving us out, and refresh our home in anticipation of a new chapter in our lives. Although my mother is no longer on earth, I am going to do some khounch tekouni again this year to prepare for spring.
Also, last week, I started seriously writing, using my Tuesday morning, “Oak Table Group” at the local Caetani house, as a catalyst for coming clean with my past. Pulling stuff that has been laying under the carpet for years is not an easy task. As I move around, room by room, clearing clutter, emptying garbage, cleaning deeply, the emotions pour out of me and with it, words, phrases, thoughts. Nothing works better for moving chi energy and the creative process, than cleaning house.
After a morning of cleaning, since the little girls were still in their jammies, I asked them if they wanted to have a warm bath and try some of the new lavender/peppermint shampoo we had made together the day before. Katie looked down at her sticky hands, still covered in paste and play doh and gave me a big smile…..she likes nothing better than being really clean– probably knowing intrinsically there is something restorative about cleaning our bodies.Kids are so good at listening inside and knowing what they need.
I’ve been wanting to make shampoo for awhile now but often my consumer choices come down to time or money. In the past, it’s just been easier to pick up the Kirkland shampoo (no sulfates etc) when we are in the Costco warehouse but during our last visit, I resisted and instead took the time to purchase the items I needed to make homemade shampoo….namely Castile soap, jojoba oil, which I found at my local Super Store. Since one of my favourite essential oils is lavender and I use it in many of my homemade cleaning products, I already had it in the house. Peppermint grows like crazy, next to my compost bin in my herb garden and I always have bunches of it drying in the laundry room.
I planted it years ago directly in my garden, before I knew how invasive it was (I recommend putting it in pots when I sell it at the garden centre) but I actually don’t mind finding it popping up all through my herb garden…so hence I have an abundant supply for tea and now to make shampoo. I love lavender and peppermint together, calming and restorative, yet uplifting as well. I also put a sprig of dried rosemary from my garden when I was steeping the peppermint and it’s known to stimulate your energy level. Such a lovely scent rosemary!
Here’s the lowdown on the wonders of these scents on our well being.
Lavender. This essential oil has calming properties that help control emotional stress. Lavender has a soothing effect on nerves and can relieve nervous tension and depression as well as treat headaches and migraines.
Peppermint. Try peppermint when brainstorming. An energy booster, this scent invigorates the mind, promotes concentration and stimulates clear thinking.
Rosemary. This is the perfect Monday morning pick-me-up. In addition to improving memory retention, rosemary has stimulating properties that fight physical exhaustion, headaches and mental fatigue.
As the girl’s bath was filling, I quickly organized a few of our bathroom drawers. The best way I know to tackle doing spring cleaning, is take advantage of every spare moment and look for opportunities to tackle the little projects in those moments. Also, since I’m working on my writing, I find it’s easy to keep a small voice recorder nearby so when the perfect phrase or idea comes to me, I quickly record my thoughts…….otherwise they are gone forever. Some people write whole books on their voice recorders and then transcribe them.
Maybe the peppermint and rosemary are stimulating my brain too.
If you have been wanting to rid your bathroom cupboards of shampoos loaded with sulfates, parabens and DEA, to name a few, I hope you will consider trying to make your own shampoo…it’s easy, cheaper in the long run, but more importantly than all that, it’s better for our bodies and our earth. I’ve really been thinking about how valuable our water is lately and since I wouldn’t put grey water with residue from store bought shampoo directly on my vegetables growing in our backyard, why would I put them down the drain and into our water system.
Here’s what I dug up on some of the additives in our shampoo….. and if you want to read more about the dirty dozen check out this link to David Suzuki’s newsletter.
Sodium laureth sulfate
Used in foaming cosmetics, such as shampoos, cleansers and bubble bath. Can be contaminated with 1,4-dioxane, which may cause cancer. Look also for related chemical sodium lauryl sulfate and other ingredients with the letters “eth” (e.g., sodium laureth sulfate)
Parabens
Used in a variety of cosmetics as preservatives. Suspected endocrine disrupters and may interfere with male reproductive functions.
DEA-related ingredients
Used in creamy and foaming products, such as moisturizers and shampoos. Can react to form nitrosamines, which may cause cancer. Harmful to fish and other wildlife. Look also for related chemicals MEA and TEA.
Yuck! Toxins we don’t need on our heads, in our water system, or on the earth. Enough said about coming clean.
Here’s my recipe for homemade Lavender/Peppermint Shampoo.
Hope’s Lavender and Peppermint Shampoo
Ingredients 31/2 cups of water 1 cup of dried peppermint/…I also used a sprig of dried rosemary 1 cup of Dr. Bronner’s pure castile soap…lavender scented…but you can use plain as well 1 tsp of pure jojoba oil….this makes the shampoo lather 30 -35 drops of pure lavender essential oil….since I used a lavender Bronner’s Castile soap this was just another layer of scent added Directions
1. Bring water to boil in a small pot, add the dried peppermint/rosemary and let it steep for 15 minutes….cool well.
2. Strain the peppermint and rosemary tea and using a funnel, add it to a clean container of your choice.
3. Add 1 cup of pure castile soap, 1 tsp of pure jojoba oil and finally the lavender drops.
4. Put on label…either write with marker or you can make a few cute Lavender Shampoo labels and cut out a piece of clear report divider and glue it on top of the label to keep it waterproofed.
When you are using, shake the bottle really well and pour out a tiny bit into a little cup, as it is quite watery compared to store bought shampoo. It lathers beautifully, as you can see from our little one’s first bath time using it and is wonderfully fragrant…..my bathroom smelled amazing afterwards.
After their bath, I set up a hair salon appointment for each of them. One thing, I learned to do YEARS ago, was to cut hair and of course style it as well. I can remember feeling so scared,taking a pair of scissors to my children’s hair, worrying I would give them a terrible cut, but ya know, cutting hair isn’t rocket science, AND, hair grows. If you make a mistake, you learn from it and you can always fix it in no time on the next cut. This has not only saved us thousands of dollars in hair dressing fees/tips, but time making appointments and going back and forth, oh then there is the gas and energy getting to and from the salon. When you start cutting your kids hair, it just makes sense to also start thinking about their hair care products as well…..now that’s being sustainable in my books.
Here’s a picture of the girls, AFTER washing with our new shampoo and their Mommy Salon visit.
The little girls have very different hair. Kathryn’s hair is fine and straight and Victoria’s hair is curly and has more body. This homemade shampoo worked well with both of their hair types. There is nothing I like better than kissing the tops of my kid’s head….no matter their age.
Tomorrow brings a new month and more shaking up the house, shaking up my soul, and cleaning up our act towards becoming more earth friendly and sustainable. Each step we take is freeing and makes me feel so light. Joy can’t help but follow and what better way to greet spring than with pure joy, oh and delightful anticipation for what is coming next. For me personally, CHICKENS…I’m reading everything I can on raising chickens and who knew it would be so interesting. What is your spring dream?
And since I’ve been talking about INSPIRATION lately, I thought I would include a wonderful You tube video of one of Oprah’s life classes. This one on inspiration and our belief system. I miss my time with Oprah at 4 pm every afternoon, but I’m glad I can still spend moments with her whenever my heart needs her wisdom. If you have some time and want to be INSPIRED in following your dreams, to come cleaner with your life and how you are living it, check out this video. Here is the link, if you can’t see it below click on this hyper link….Oprah’s life class on believing in your best life.
Visualize your life daily, believe you can manifest your biggest dreams and then be open, allowing them to come.
Be still….and be inspired.
And dearest blog friends and family….
Until we meet again, may you be well, happy and peaceful.
You may remember reading last week about my belief in Murphy’s law, coinciding with D’s business trips. Something ALWAYS happens when he goes out of town. Of course, if I truly believe in the law of attraction, which I do, I will start reciting this mantra, “something marvelous always occurs when D is working out of town.”
But last week, I had no such insight.
D has since returned, delved into the dryer’s malfunction (did I mention he is handy?) and has ordered a new circuit board. Of course, just finding a place that would provide, said part was an ordeal. I get SO frustrated when we find a part in our cousin country, (the U.S.) but for WHATEVER reason, things can’t always be shipped to Canada. (Free trade stinks at times) Anyway, don’t get me started, we did finally find the part but of course, it is NOW on order.
Until then, I’ve threatened the children within an inch of their life, to NOT put anything but socks and underwear in the wash. To hang up their towels after use and under no circumstances are they to put their sheets in the laundry basket. Even the little kids know the drill and they carefully strip down, laying the approved items for the wash aside and putting their other clothes back in their drawers/closet.
Even under these strict rules, with 8 people living in our home, there is still wash to do each day and each day I pray for good weather so I can set it out on our deck to dry.
First thing I do every morning is assess the drying weather
Now for some strange reason, when it is MY choice to dry our clothes on the deck it’s okay. I feel really empowered by the whole concept of saving energy and using wind and solar power to dry our clothes but when I have no choice, I feel like a victim to the appliance manufacturers, who can’t seem to construct machines that will last more than 5 years.
Our clothes drying outside…underwear and socks are inside
For the first 15 years of our marriage we had the same washing machine pair and since then we have had to replace them every 5 years like clockwork, which is ridiculous in my books. Yes, sure, we have a larger than average family and for the last 5 years our family is very large but still, this new LG was purchased after Will was born 5 years ago. You would think it could make it until he was in grade 1 before breaking down.
Okay, enough venting about my dryer, except to say, I actually would dry everything outside,(and sneer at the dryer manufactures) if there was a way of drying clothes outside without everything, like towels, feeling scratchy boards. Send me a comment if you have a solution In the spring, I may even ask D to construct a clothesline, although our neighbours may protest over us airing our “clean” laundry to dry. Sigh.
I actually thought I was doing really well with D out of town last week, dealing with the day to day drama until Will came home from school on Thursday with a broken zipper on his new coat. His NEW coat. He had only worn it for a week and the little metal thingy on the bottom of the zipper broke off so the zipper slide wouldn’t stay attached.
The metal piece on the right..broke off
I was livid! BUT again, Murphy’s law prevailed (D was still away at this point) and wouldn’t you know I had just thrown out the store receipt, along with the price tags, etc in the garbage on Tuesday. I wasn’t exactly sure it went in the Tuesday garbage, but just to be sure, I went through the garbage we had accumulated since Tuesday, reviewing each item carefully. It was Friday morning at this point and surprisingly we had a lot of garbage. Yuck!
Have you ever done a garbage inspection? It was amazing what I found. PERFECTLY GOOD STUFF! A bag full of nuts, dried fruit and yogurt covered bits, (expensive nuts, I might add), an apple, a perfectly good pencil, an unopened juice box with straw still attached, cat food cans that still had food in them, (the children feed the cats) and then what really surprised me were things that could be recycled, for instance toilet paper rolls, and quite a bit of potential compost material…like apple cores, banana peels, etc. Very insightful.
Suffice it to say, garbage inspections will continue, (as gross and stinky as they are) regularly since the goal of being less wasteful is high on my priority list. And perhaps I will have to get the children to do some research on garbage waste in our country and we can enjoy a field trip to the dump, which really should have a new name, something like “precious land.” Okay, again I got sidetracked…where was I?
Oh YES, since I must have thrown out the store receipt (which yes, when I think of it, should have been recycled too…in which case we would still have them in our recycling bin) I had to come up with a solution to Will’s broken zipper. What to do? Well, after the garbage inspection, I pulled out our yellow pages and called every single tailor and seamstress listed. Three. There are probably more but I don’t have any connections in the sewing industry which I think is a lost art by the way. And again, Murphy’s law, every one of them said they could do it but not for 3 weeks. That was the magic time frame for all of them. I told them my son would freeze by then but thanked them for their time.
Then I decided to google how to repair a zipper but sadly this didn’t appear to be easily manuvered, so I decided as ridiculous as it is to repair a brand new coat, I had to walk my talk and not only be frugal but sustainable. I would have to do it myself. On Sunday, I warned all the kids that the big repair job was being conducted and they were to keep themselves busy so I could focus on ripping out the broken zipper and reattach the new one we had purchased at Fabricland on Saturday.
Well, at first I couldn’t see how to even begin and I was so worried I was going to put a hole in the nylon material but after about 1/2 hour I finally made a tiny opening and things progressed from there. Once the zipper was removed, I carefully pinned the new one to the coat, being conscious to place the zipper bottom, at the bottom of the jacket. Believe me, I have done some funny things over the years when I sew. Harrison, our 15 year old, must have inherited my lack of sewing perception, as his Home Ec teacher told him not to become a bridge builder when he grows up, as he had sewed the legs shut to the boxer shorts he was making last year.
Sewing the zipper was really easy and quick or so I thought. When I went to zip up the jacket, the zipper got stuck on the material since I had sewed the zipper too close to the edges of the jacket. So, with teeth clenched and screams to the children, “do not BUG me,” I ripped out the zipper again and re-sewed it. This time, being careful to ensure the material had some clearance to allow the zipper to flow along the teeth without any blockages. Voila! Not the prettiest job but it got the job done and Will would not freeze this winter.
Will checking out the new zipper
Also, I learned a few valuable lessons. In the future, when we purchase anything that costs over say $50.00 dollars (and this coat was much higher than that) I will retain the receipts and tags in an envelope for safe keeping. We do this with appliances…however isn’t it interesting that the unit always breaks down exactly one day after any warranty expires?
Well my dryer still isn’t fixed but D assures me that the part will be here soon, fingers crossed that this is the magic part. Will went to school on Monday with a working zipper and all was going okay until I woke up yesterday to a freezing house. D had already left for work very early, at 6:45 to take Harrison to jazz band and Clark to the University bus. He didn’t notice how chilly the house was but one hour later when the kids were going out the door the house still wasn’t heating up.
D came home at lunch, per my frozen request and cycled the power (I think that was the correct term he used) and geesh, I could have done that. It seemed to get our furnace working but again this morning, it didn’t kick in. So now we have another ISSUE to deal with.
Our gas fireplace kept us warm
Add some concerns we have over our daughter in the U.K. and her teaching profession and our out of town University son, finding a comfort zone to marinade in while away from home and things in my life, to a degree seem to be falling apart. Do you ever wonder why things seem to go wrong. And in threes too? There is that old wives tale anyway.
I don’t think they really go wrong in threes, they go wrong in a series of threes, a life time of threes. Life is just full of things falling apart. And that is the essence of life. Unless, UNLESS, you shift your perspective AND learn the fine art of surrender.
I often say that “letting go” is my major life lesson. It seems to be in the theme of EVERYTHING I experience in life. Something falls apart, I notice it, I react….sometimes I OVER REACT, and thankfully as I’m growing wiser, I then shift and let go and then I’m back into the well being stage. UNTIL the next thing. Which at times can be moments later. It feels like a delicate dance I do on this earth school.
Then last night, as I was at my meditation meeting, things became clearer. Things fall apart in order to teach me the lessons I need to learn. To enforce the understanding that we are impermanent and things are ALWAYS changing. Then I laughed and wondered if once I became proficient at this life dance, if in the future I wouldn’t even be aware when things go awry because I will smoothly waltz past any obstacles. My awareness will be that everything is perfect and things are not broken at all.
In this light, and maybe as a result of my attraction expectation, instead of things falling apart, things will be coming together. Like a beautiful dance, where at first you are just learning the steps and finally after a lot of practice, it artfully flows together with the music.
For instance on Sunday when I was sewing Will’s zipper in place. Grace took the time to host a tea party for the three little ones. She made some “Mother’s Helper Tea” that my sister B had given me and filled a plate full of cookies we picked up from her school’s Christmas Fair Market. She made the afternoon fun for the little ones as I tried to repair the jacket. She reminded me that things do come together with the smallest effort. My children have been the best teachers in my life. They are CONSTANTLY changing and growing and with such ease and grace. They live in the moment and enjoy each experience.
Grace brought up her Beatrix Potter tea set and her fairies to join the party
Invite some friends to the party
Kate, Grace, Will and Victoria enjoy their Mother’s Helper Tea and Cookies
Would you care for another biscuit, Kathryn? Yes, thank you.
Check out this YouTube video, it’s one of my fav artists from when I was young, Cat Stevens singing, Oh Very Young....reminds me of how quickly life unfolds and reminds me also, not to stress when things fall apart…we are impermanent and life is short. Our children are truly are best teachers. Even though they are changing and growing every day, they live happily in the moment.
The lyrics to Oh Very Young Oh very young
What will you leave us this time
You’re only dancing on this earth for a short while
And though your dreams may toss and turn you now
They will vanish away like your daddy’s best jeans
Denim Blue fading up to the sky
And though you want him to last forever
You know he never will
(You know he never will)
And the patches make the goodbye harder still
Oh very young
What will you leave us this time
There’ll never be a better chance to change your mind
And if you want this world to see a better day
Will you carry the words of love with you
Will you ride the great white bird into heaven
And though you want to last forever
You know you never will
(You know you never will)
And the goodbye makes the journey harder still
Oh very young
What will you leave us this time
You’re only dancing on this earth for a short while
Oh very young
What will you leave us this time
Hmmmm….good lessons to learn when things fall apart.
What do you do when things fall apart? Watch your reaction the next time and notice how you dance to the music.
Until we meet again, may you be well, happy and peaceful.
We only have so much time with our children and then we are gone. Whatever imprint we want to leave on them, whatever wisdom we want to share, the moments are ticking by.
I remember when our first baby Alyssa Rae was born and I was alone with her day in and day out. All alone. After years of working in an busy office setting, surrounded by co-workers, clients and daily expectations, all of a sudden the days stretched out like an eternity.
There was just she and me, I and her, sharing our days. I wished I had told her more what a beautiful baby she was, how special she was, how proud I was of her. I wished I had told her she was perfect just as she was and I hadn’t felt so driven over the years to register her into every activity available for babies, toddlers, preschoolers, school age, teens, etc. just so our days would be full and busy. I wished we had done nothing but enjoy the simplicity of her childhood and all the magic that was held within. That we had cuddled in bed lost in books, that we had gone on more nature walks and eaten popcorn for dinner, that we had sat dreaming together over tea, toast and jam.
Sadly, my childhood imprinted on her. The loss and grief I had experienced, settled on her heavily without any words spoken. I wanted her to experience everything I had desired as a child, yet little did I know the message she was receiving was, “she wasn’t good enough, bright enough, talented enough.” Without the extra curricular activities that she was registered in, she somehow felt less than as a result. My childhood fear filtered through her and she felt unworthy.
I wished I had taken the time to listen to her and what she wanted. I wished I had taken the time to tell her that just being my baby was enough. She wasn’t even my baby after all, I was only her caretaker for awhile, but oh, she brought so much to my life when she arrived. It was immeasurable.
The moment she was born was the ONLY life lesson she ever needed to teach me and yet even now here she is, still “teaching” me by being out in the world, so brave and strong. Thanks Alyse, for sharing this beautiful YouTube video clip (blog friends see below) and inspiring me with your shining soul.
Alyssa, ready to take off and fly
The hourglass has turned and my daughter is off to start her own life in the U.K.
I love this video. (see below) Not just because of the powerful message, BUT I also love violin music. So much so, that I registered two of our sons in violin and one in cello and encouraged them to play for YEARS, just so I could be surrounded by my favourite instruments playing all the time. (My father played violin too) I like to believe that they appreciated learning to play these beautiful classical instruments but they have also told me to a degree, they continued to play to make me happy.
To my sons I say, keep playing your beautiful music, let it spill out of your luminous souls and guess what, you never have to worry about your bow hold again!
The last day the kids were all together before Alyssa left for the U.K.
To all of my children, I say,
“YOU are LOVED “
Knowing that will echo out into eternity……………………………………………………………………….
(please note, for my blog friends who are using an Apple product, you may not be able to view this video, if so try the link above to the YouTube video, “The Maker”….I hope you can view it as it’s AMAZING!)
To my dear blog friends, you ARE loved too.
Until I see you again, may you be well, peaceful and happy.
I’m here. At last. I’ve been thinking of starting a blog for the longest time but one thing or another always came up and I just never started it. I was actually hoping that a recent dream, now lost, would come true and I would be able to begin my blog with all sorts of amazing topics. You see, last fall I found this gorgeous Cape Cod home set on almost 18 acres. And it was for sale…at a price that we would almost be able to afford, which was even more incredible.
The BEST part was that it was a Christmas tree farm. If you know me, you know how much I love that holiday and how I sing Christmas carols even in July. I fell in love the first time I saw this acreage and every night for the last 8 months I have gone to sleep walking through the house and decorating each room. I would drift off thinking of where I would put the garden, the children’s play area, the nut grove, how we would market the trees and I even was thinking of adding lavender fields to diversity the farm….oh and another cool thing about the farm was they already had chickens….my dream chickens, Rhode Island Red chickens too.
Although we had intentions to get our house ready for sale in early spring so we could finally purchase it, we had three children graduating from various levels of schooling; our oldest from University, our third oldest from high school and our 3rd youngest from preschool. Once soccer season hit in April, I knew that it may be summer before we got around to listing our house.
But hey, that was okay because this house was already on the market for a year and even though it’s only 30 minutes out of our little city/small town, the price was such that there wasn’t tons of interest….and my husband thought that the longer it was on the market the better it would be for us once we made an offer.
Well long story short, the week that we finally had realtors in to list our house was the same week that this beautiful farm finally received a cash offer and it was SOLD! It’s gone. My dream is gone and all my blog ideas gone with it. I’ve been depressed I have to admit.
This is not usual for me…after all I was born in Hope…..not just literally (yes, I was born in the little town of Hope, B.C. Canada) but I was figuritively born IN Hope as well. I’m a glass 1/2 full kind of gal. Always looking at the bright side. A bit like Anne of Green Gables who was eternally optimistic and ALWAYS expecting the best from life. So being bummed isn’t my nature…at least not for long.
As I was sitting on the couch in the family room last night and sighing for the up-teenth time about how sad I was that my farm was gone and all my dreams gone with it, my oldest daughter said, well why don’t you start where you are at and create the life that you have dreamed of here….in our urban set home and property.
Sure we don’t live right in the city……if you can call our little nearby city a city. Yes, we do have a few Starbucks, (don’t most small towns have at least one?) but in my opinion unless you have a Chapters book store and a Costco you have not arrived in big city status. We have neither. We also live outside of this little city….in an area that has a welcome sign that says, “Rural living at it’s BEST”….although even the nearby little city residents are allowed to have 3 or 4 chickens in their backyards and my rural subdivision still hasn’t officially clarified the chicken status by-law…it’s in the works they say. I think they are stalling because of the controversy. Heaven forbid is what some neighbours are probably thinking regarding the inclusion of chickens. I think I could make a strong case for poultry based on the “rural living at it’s best” signage. What is the best of rural living anyway? No smells? No noise? No traffic? Don’t get me started about my dream for chickens….somehow they are going to be in my future and future posts..
Anyway, where was I, oh yes, my oldest daughter said that I should bloom where I’m planted (although those are not her exact words, more my own take on her thoughts as she would never be that sappy) she just felt that I can start living my dream here and now. And start writing about it too as there are probably a lot of people out there living a urban/somewhat rural life and interested in what we are doing. We do have an unusual family for these times as well. At least in our part of the country that is. We have 8 children ranging in age from 24 (my smart oldest daughter…who suggested all this to me) down to our twin daughters who recently turned 3. Which by the way, had they been two years old would have meant that I would not have had any time to write, let alone dig out in the garden this summer. One year is huge when you have twins!
Some people would think that having a large family is not environmentally responsible and if you asked me a few years ago I may have agreed but it’s been a soul’s journey bringing each of these children to earth. The last four arrived after a long struggle (of which future posts will surely include as that was a pivotal point of change for me on my path) full of life lessons that taught me that there are times that all we can do is listen to our hearts and follow the path it tells us to take. My husband calls it the road-less travelled as few choose that lifestyle. Me though, years ago I made a pact with myself that I would listen to my heart as much as I could and try not to listen to what others thought or felt. Even though the journey to our last four children was full of trials, tribulations and loss, the lessons learned were the stuff that life is truly about. I’m more patient, grateful, kind, compassionate, non-judgemental (mostly directed towards myself and I’m courageous and strong. A warrior for sure. I have learned to let go and trust. In the end what is meant to be will come to pass. All shall be well…it ALWAYS is. Big lessons.
I look at my garden and realize all the lessons are taught there as we watch the changing seasons and how things grow and then die. So here we are with 8 children but living with the conscious intent on teaching them to walk as lightly as they can while on this earth. To live fully and move in the direction of their dreams. I want to write about that…being an environmentally responsible person while raising the next generation. To live as sustainable as possible while being mindful of our beautiful earth. Also, while this is a constant battle, to be careful consumers and remember that less is more. Living simply is true abundance. Also to endorse the idea to Reduce, Reuse, and Recycle as part of our family’s mantra. Although my fourth child said to me as we were at the grocery store today…buying everything we don’t grow ourselves and much more, that I was having a mid life crisis and moving to the farm was my salvation….and why mom did I have to take him on that road! He thinks, like my oldest daughter that I can have that mid life crisis while living in our urban/rural, close to his high-school, all his friends and where internet is available…even though it’s never fast enough in his opinion.
Well, that brings me to why I started writing today. I thought carefully last night about what my daughter said as I cried myself to sleep again thinking of how someone else is moving into my Christmas tree farm, and I woke up realizing that I’m okay. And as my son (yes the one that I took to the grocery store today) also said…”Hey mom, you just never know, maybe the farm will come up for sale again. Maybe the new people will have to transfer out of town, maybe they will realize how much work a farm is, maybe they will win the million and move to Hawaii” Maybe miracles will occur. And yes he’s right. Maybe that will happen.
Or better yet, maybe I will just be grateful for where I am right now and not put off living the life of my dreams. We do have a nice home, we do have 1/3 of an acre. We do have great southern exposure, some people would Kill for that who want to grow food. I do have a mini orchard started, strawberries, raspberries, a nice garden that most people would be thrilled to have…..and the chickens….well they will come. The bees too. Yeah, I may not be able to have goats, or a cow, but hey maybe my sweet 11 year old can finally have that bunny she has been talking about….they produce great garden fertilizer I hear. Also, while I’m busy being grateful and happy maybe another farm will come our way. If I have learned anything by now it is that dreams come true. Often not in the time frame that we want or desire but if we trust and let go and are grateful they come….and they are even better than we could ever dream them too. That is the Universe for you….law of attraction really at work.
So here I am. This is IT! as my sister C would say. I’m going to do my Urban homestead thing here. I’m going to harvest, process, cook our own food, talk about it, maybe teach those who are just starting to grow food and wanting to learn to live on less with the feeling of abundance. The less is more kind of mindset. I’d like to share the journey of parenting 8 beautiful children of all different ages and maybe inspire those who feel they are overwhelmed with just 2. It’s all relative!
Also, I’m a soulful mama. I have learned so much in the last 10 years about being connected to everyone in the world. Strangely my son who is now 5, our sweet Will taught me that BEFORE he was even on the earth.
I’m not talking about how connected we are now through the social media. I’m talking about connecting via soul net…not internet…although right now that’s helpful. I believe I am a spirit living this earthly experience and the contrast of our choices while on this earth is amazing. I just have to look at all I have been given to know that already my dreams have come true. I read a lot of soulful books with my Sacred sister’s book club and I am at a place where I want to connect with others around the world. Do you want to be my sacred sister? We are all sisters no matter our background, or our beliefs. I believe we are vibrating really fast right now at a soul level. We parents are raising the next generation of children and hopefully they will create a peaceful, healthier planet. That makes me joy filled. That brings the Hope back into heart.
So that’s about it for tonight…the start of my blog, This is IT! The beginning of a new dream. Stay tuned and thanks for reading. I will leave you with one of my favourite poems.
Hope is the Thing with Feathers by Emily Dickinson
Hope is the thing with feathers
that perches in the soul
And sings the tune without the words
And never stops at all
And sweetet in the Gale is heard
And sore must be the storm
That could abash the little bird
That kept so many warm
I’ve heard it in the chilliest land
And on the strangest Sea
Yet never in Extremity
It asked a crumb-of me
Until we meet again, may you be well, peaceful and happy.
